Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy

Emily & Johnny Spigelmire | Christian Marriage Recovery Coaches
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Apr 21, 2025 • 32min

102 | When ‘I Love You’ Has Lost Its Meaning After Betrayal: Try This Instead

In this raw and emotional episode, we dive into the painful reality of how the phrase “I love you” can feel hollow and even triggering after sexual betrayal in marriage.   When those same words were whispered to someone outside the covenant, they lose their sacred weight—leaving the betrayed spouse questioning their truth. We explore the agony of speaking (or hearing) “I love you” when trust has been shattered, and why those words may no longer feel safe.   But there is hope. Healing is absolutely possible through God’s redemptive power and the hard, daily work of recovery. We discuss how couples can rebuild trust, not with empty words, but with actions that prove commitment over time.   And we reveal a new approach we’re testing: replacing “I love you” with “I choose you”—a deliberate declaration of fidelity, even when feelings are messy.   You’re not alone in this struggle. If “I love you” stings right now, it’s okay. Healing starts with honesty, humility, and a willingness to rebuild—one faithful choice at a time.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES: Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) (Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 64. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs From Her Recovering Husband (Series)    Episode 78. Forgiving the “Other Woman” - A Path to Peace After Sexual Betrayal Trauma   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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Apr 14, 2025 • 41min

101 | Building True Intimacy After Sexual Betrayal, with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith

Today we are so excited to dive into a conversation on the destructive impact of marital infidelity and the journey of healing and restoration with our special guests Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith.    Matthew and Joanna will share their deeply personal experience with sexual betrayal in their marriage and how they overcame this devastation to experience a marriage they never dreamed possible. Now, they're on mission to help others find that same path to healing.   In their insightful book, Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection that Stands the Test of Time, they introduce us to their unique concept of the 'Intimacy Pyramid.' This helpful framework walks couples through the process of rebuilding their relationships with a focus on honesty, safety, trust, vulnerability, and intimacy.   They’ll also shed light on the often-misunderstood topic of boundaries, offering a fresh perspective on how to set personal and relational boundaries in a way that brings life and helps us align our actions with our core values.   Make sure to grab a pen and paper, because you won’t want to miss all the amazing nuggets of wisdom Matthew and Joanna will share with us!   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   CONNECT WITH MATTHEW AND JOANNA RAABSMITH: Website: raabsmithteam.com Freebie link: raabsmithteam.com/free Contact email: connect@raabsmithteam.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theraabsmithteam/   RESOURCES: Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) (Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 82. Broken Trust After Infidelity? 3 Ways to Reach Her Heart    Episode 87. Can’t We Just Get Back to Normal? Shortest Path to True Intimacy After Sexual Betrayal   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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6 snips
Apr 7, 2025 • 32min

100 | Getting Real Help for Your Marriage: 10 Obstacles to Counseling and Coaching

Celebrate overcoming obstacles in marriage! Discover ten hurdles that prevent couples from seeking help, from shame to financial constraints. Hear personal stories of recovery from infidelity and the importance of vulnerability in healing. Learn how coaching differs from counseling and why true intimacy thrives with support. Embrace the courage to prioritize your relationship and find the right resources for growth. Join the journey of healing and faith!
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Mar 31, 2025 • 33min

99 | When the Past Invades: 4 Steps to Victory Over Euphoric Recall

On today’s episode, we delve into the topic of euphoric recall, a painful yet critical aspect of sexual addiction recovery.   Emily shares her perspective as a betrayed wife, highlighting the emotional turmoil that accompanies these intrusive memories.   Meanwhile, Johnny explains his own experiences with euphoric recall and outlines a robust four-step battle plan to confront and dissolve these recollections.   It’s not a pleasant part of the journey to healing, but one necessary to face head-on with your spouse and a community of support.   We hope it blesses you!   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES: Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) (Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 97. "The Bubble" - What Makes Sex Addiction So Cunning, Baffling, and Powerful? Episode 98. Navigating Porn Withdrawal and the Path of Least Resistance   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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7 snips
Mar 24, 2025 • 19min

98 | Navigating Porn Withdrawal and the Path of Least Resistance

Today we’re tackling an incredibly important topic: porn withdrawal and its impact on those bravely striving to break free from porn addiction.   We chat about both the mental and physical symptoms that can pop up during this journey, along with the challenges people often face when trying to leave behind the familiar paths of addiction.   We’ll share some practical steps to help you overcome these hurdles with confidence. We’ll also shine a light on the role of the amygdala in addiction, reminding us of the importance of seeking help and connecting with others instead of facing this journey alone.   Finding your personal ‘why’ for recovery is key, and we’re here to support you every step of the way! Let’s dive in together and make this journey a little easier and a lot more hopeful!   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES: Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) Sex Addict Self-Assessment Questionnaire Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes, Ph.d (Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 49. Sobriety vs. Recovery After Porn-Fueled Infidelity Episode 56. Identifying Sex Addiction: Take the First Step Today   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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Mar 17, 2025 • 38min

97 | "The Bubble" - What Makes Sex Addiction So Cunning, Baffling, and Powerful?

What is addiction?   How does it work?   Is it just about deciding to stop destructive behaviors?   Addiction can be a mystery for many couples. Husbands may wonder if they are addicts after betraying their spouse. Wives often struggle to understand how their partner could engage in such hurtful actions for so long.   When our marriage faced sexual betrayal six years ago, we were just as confused about sexual addiction as many of you. Since then, we've learned a lot and want to share key insights about addiction.   We will explore the complexities of sex addiction. We'll discuss how addiction affects not only the addict but also their loved ones, especially spouses.   We’ll cover the addiction cycle and its pain, using the concept of 'The Bubble' to explain the addict's inner world.   This episode is a chance to learn and and also foster conversations that lead to deeper intimacy.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES: Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) Out of the Shadows, by Patrick Carnes (Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 17. Is My Spouse A Porn Addict? 13 Clues To Help Expose Compulsive Sexual Behavior Episode 26. Recovery Step 1: Hooked on Porn? Admitting Helplessness Over Pornography’s Pull    NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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Mar 10, 2025 • 43min

96 | The Message in the Affair: Self-Discovery After His Infidelity, with April Truitt

When it comes to confronting the aftermath of sexual betrayal, each of us will set out on a unique journey to healing and restoration. This was certainly true of our guest April Truitt. April shares the deeply personal and transformative story of her marriage's journey through infidelity. After discovering her husband's affair, April recounts the emotional devastation and the path to recovery that followed. She discusses the underlying issues in their marriage, their struggles with insecurity, and how her husband's affair led to a profound period of self-examination and spiritual growth. With time and guidance from their church and counselor, this precious couple was able to confront their emotional intimacy issues, work through forgiveness, and rebuild their marriage stronger than before. April also highlights her own battles with shame, negative self-talk, and the transformative power of relying on God's grace. Now, as an author and speaker, she aims to help others facing similar struggles, offering her book, 'A Wife's Recovery from an Affair: The Story of a Faithful God,' and a free journaling workbook on her website. Join us today as we hear from April about what God was teaching her through her personal recovery journey. We pray this blesses you, Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   CONNECT WITH APRIL: www.apriltruitt.com www.awifesrecoveryfromanaffair.com mailto:apriltruittspeaker@gmail.com FB - April Truitt Speaker/Author Freebie! An Affair Recovery Journal Prompt/Devotional Download www.awifesrecoveryfromanaffair.com/free-affair-recovery-workbook   RESOURCES: Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) (Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 04. Sharing Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery Episode 58. Purpose from Pain. Did Sexual Betrayal Destroy God’s Plan for Your Marriage?    NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
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Mar 3, 2025 • 24min

95 | Weddings and Pirates and Triggers. Oh, my!

After sexual betrayal is discovered in a marriage and the couple decides to embark on the journey to recovery, there are many opportunities for social events to become emotionally challenging, causing what many call triggers.   Today we recount a fun, awkward, semi-harrowing story of our weekend adventure at a pirate-themed wedding; fraught with danger, and also some victories.   Listen in to hear which tools in our relational toolbox were the keys to turning a difficult social situation into a bonding experience. Hint, it may have something to do with the importance of preparation and vigilance.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES: Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) (Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)             RELATED EPISODES: Episode 13. His Triggers, Her Triggers – 4 Steps For Dealing With Triggers While Healing From Infidelity Episode 77. 4 Practical Steps for Vigilance in Recovery from Porn-Fueled Infidelity   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
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14 snips
Feb 24, 2025 • 46min

94 | From “Oh, Hell No!” to "The Golden Ticket" - 4 Phases of Sexuality in Recovery from Adultery

Discover the emotional challenges of reclaiming intimacy after infidelity. Hear personal stories that illuminate the journey from betrayal to renewed connection. The hosts discuss navigating complex feelings, the significance of open communication, and the role of faith in healing. They share insights on creating a 'new normal' in relationships and the unconventional methods that foster deeper intimacy. This heartfelt discussion is a beacon of hope for couples seeking to rebuild their sexual relationship after trauma.
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Feb 17, 2025 • 31min

93 | Creating Healthy Connections While Healing from Betrayal Trauma and Sex-Addiction

Connection...   When you think about connecting with others, what comes to mind?    What does it truly mean to be connected, and what are healthy connections? And speaking of healthy connections, it makes you wonder—are there unhealthy connections?   What do your connections look like in your life?   Join us today as we dive into these intriguing questions and explore the meaning of connections together!   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES: Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) (Paid affiliate links may be included. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)            RELATED EPISODES: Episode 57. Alone No More: How Isolation Fuels Sex-Addiction and How to Defeat It Episode 53. 4 Ways To Help a Friend Experiencing Sexual Betrayal   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  

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