

Do You F*cking Mind?
Alexis Fernandez-Preiksa - Neuroscientist and Mindset Coach
Mindset hacks for a badass life, hosted by cognitive neuroscientist Alexis Fernandez. On Mondays my episodes are a combo of neuroscience and psychology. I deep dive into everything from habit formation and how to live a carefree life, to friendships and heartbreak. And on Fridays we've got Head Noise - where I answer your questions! Email info@dyfmpod.com to submit your questions. Order your copy of my latest book How to Chase Change at https://bit.ly/44xwszR .
Episodes
Mentioned books

Mar 1, 2026 • 35min
479. What does it really take to know someone? Important questions to ask yourself
What does it ACTUALLY take to know someone?
Can you ever know a person outside of the role they play in your relationship with them?
If someone deceives you, does that mean you never really knew them in the first place?
And why does chemistry so often convince us we understand someone far more deeply than we actually do?
In this episode, I talk about the illusion of knowing and why familiarity, attraction, and emotional intensity can create a false sense of closeness.
I dive into limerence, the strange dynamics of online dating, and the way modern dating shows sell us a version of connection that looks convincing… but rarely reflects healthy love in the real world.
Let’s goooooo
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Feb 26, 2026 • 25min
478. Is it a red flag, should I pivot and why am I such a people pleaser (Headnoise)
It's Voice Message headnoise day! I answer 3 of your Voice Messages you sent in!
If you would like to send in a question email please email: info@dyfmpod.com or if you would like to send in a Voice Message go to dyfmpod.com
Join the DYFM Facebook Group
Follow @doyoufkingmind on IG
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Follow @alexisfernandezpreiksa on IG
Follow @alexispredez on TT
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on IG
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on TT
Order your Brain Journal here: www.mindsetrecreationclub.com
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Feb 24, 2026 • 31min
477. I'm dating a man 17 years older, how do I get my family to accept? + I'm terrified to lose my best friend to a relationship - Head Noise
Head Noise: I’m Losing My Best Friend & My Partner Is 17 Years Older Than Me
In this Head Noise episode, we talk about two situations that can quietly reshape your relationships — friendship change and family judgement.
First, how do you deal with the fear of losing your best friend when they enter a new relationship?
We explore:
Why the friendship changing doesn’t mean the love is gone
How trying to control or hold on too tightly can push someone away
The difference between close and codependent friendships
Why fear can damage something that doesn’t need fixing
How to genuinely be happy for your friend when their life evolves
Then, what happens when your partner is 17 years older and your family isn’t on board?
i go into:
Learning to live with family disappointment
Why their concern often comes from protection, not rejection
The importance of keeping them in the loop
Why telling them sooner rather than later makes things easier
This episode is about allowing relationships to evolve without trying to force certainty, and learning to stay grounded even when others don’t fully understand your choices.
As always, Head Noise is about responding thoughtfully instead of reacting from fear. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Feb 22, 2026 • 38min
476. How to keep the spark alive in a relationship (or create one from scratch)
Join the DYFM Facebook Group
Follow @doyoufkingmind on IG
Follow @dyfmpodcast on TT
Follow @alexisfernandezpreiksa on IG
Follow @alexispredez on TT
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on IG
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on TT
Order your Brain Journal here: www.mindsetrecreationclub.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Feb 19, 2026 • 29min
475. My friends fiancé crossed a line, can I let go of resentment and I am a delayed gratification addict (Headnoise)
If you would like to send in a question email please email: info@dyfmpod.com or if you would like to send in a Voice Message go to dyfmpod.com
Join the DYFM Facebook Group
Follow @doyoufkingmind on IG
Follow @dyfmpodcast on TT
Follow @alexisfernandezpreiksa on IG
Follow @alexispredez on TT
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on IG
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on TT
Order your Brain Journal here: www.mindsetrecreationclub.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Feb 17, 2026 • 30min
474. My Partner Trauma Dumps And I Don't Know If I Can Stay, I Feel Like a Fraud at Work, and I Freeze in Conflict - Head Noise
Head Noise: My Partner Trauma Dumps, I Feel Like a Fraud at Work, and I Freeze in Conflict
In this Head Noise episode, we unpack three listener dilemmas that all come down to boundaries, self-perception, and finding your voice when things feel overwhelming.
We talk about:
Whether to stay with a partner who constantly trauma dumps — and how to figure out if the relationship is actually sustainable long-term
What imposter syndrome really is at a new job, and how to rewrite your self-talk so it becomes realistic and empowering instead of self-sabotaging
Why some people freeze during confrontation, and how to start responding instead of shutting down
This episode covers:
Emotional compatibility vs emotional exhaustion in relationships
Determining if your needs are being met — not just if you care about someone
Reframing “I’m a fraud” thinking into grounded, self-supportive internal dialogue
The psychology behind conflict freeze responses
How to make decisions that protect your energy and long-term wellbeing
If you’ve ever felt drained by someone you love, doubted your place at work, or struggled to speak up when it matters, this one will resonate.
As always, Head Noise is about cutting through emotional overwhelm so you can make clearer, calmer decisions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Feb 12, 2026 • 33min
473. Going Back to the Person Who Ghosted Me, Sister in Law Drama, and Wanting Out of a “Good” Relationship - Head Noise
In this Head Noise episode, we’re unpacking three very different dilemmas that all come down to trust, discomfort, and self-honesty.
We talk about:
What to do when you get back with someone who previously ghosted you, and the trust issues won’t go away
How to build a relationship with your sister-in-law when you fundamentally don’t see eye to eye
Why you might want to leave a “lovely” boyfriend, and how to know if you’re making a mistake or finally listening to yourself
This episode covers:
Rebuilding trust after being ghosted (and whether it’s actually possible)
Why good on paper doesn’t always mean right for you
Fear of regret vs fear of staying stuck
Choosing peace over potential
If you’ve ever stayed because you were scared to hurt someone, gone back to someone who hurt you, or felt guilty for wanting something different, this one will hit.
As always, Head Noise is about cutting through the emotional fog and helping you make decisions that align with your self-respect.
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Feb 10, 2026 • 39min
472. Going Back to a Cheating Ex, How to Get Over Being Ghosted and Moving Cities in a Search For Love
In this Head Noise episode, I answer three listener questions that sit right at the intersection of hope, attachment, and self-betrayal the kind of decisions that feel impossible when you’re emotionally involved.
We talk about:
Whether you should leave a life you love to move cities in the hope of finding a partner
What to do when your cheating ex wants you back, is in therapy, and swears they’ve changed, especially when you’ve already moved on with someone else
How to emotionally detach and move forward after being slowly ghosted by someone you thought things were going really well with
This episode breaks down the psychology behind:
Making life decisions from loneliness vs self-trust
Sex addiction, and the difference between change and intention
Why ghosting hurts so much
Choosing yourself without spiralling into guilt or doubt
As always, Head Noise episodes are about cutting through the emotional fog and helping you see what’s actually happening, so you can make decisions that protect your peace and self-respect.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Feb 8, 2026 • 44min
471. The Psychology of Power - How to Reclaim Your Power Without Controlling Others
How to Reclaim Your Power Without Controlling Anyone
In this episode, I break down the psychology behind control. Why we try to manage other people’s behaviour, emotions, and choices, and how that quietly drains our power, peace, and sense of self.
We talk about:
Why trying to control others makes you feel more powerless, not less
How victim mentality keeps you dependent on other people’s energy and validation
The ways control shows up as guilt, emotional pressure, or “needs”
Why boundaries are about your behaviour and not changing someone else’s
How letting go of control reduces anxiety and emotional exhaustion
Why focusing only on yourself feels uncomfortable but creates real change
How to stop feeling guilty, indebted, or responsible for other people’s emotions
The mindset shift that helps you reclaim your power without force, manipulation, or emotional labour
This episode is for anyone who feels drained by relationships, stuck in cycles of guilt or resentment, or exhausted from trying to hold everything together.
You don’t need more control.
You need your power back. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Feb 1, 2026 • 53min
470. How to End Comparison and Competition for Good - Psychology tools that work
A deep dive into why you keep comparing yourself to others and how competition sneaks into close relationships. Topics include why social media magnifies insecurity, how triggers reveal outsourced self-worth, and the line between healthy ambition and toxic rivalry. Practical mindset shifts for stopping comparison and competing with your past self are also explored.


