What We Really Want: Conversations About Connection

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"RE-RELEASE. This episode originally released September 24, 2024.What is a sexual betrayal trauma workshop? And why - if you are a woman going through the pain of having been betrayed by your husband/partner - should you consider attending one? In this BONUS episode, Greg & Stacey are joined by Paige and Brittney, two friends who are part of our Awaken community in Birmingham AL, to talk about their experiences in recovery and having attended our workshop.Like we did when we addressed our Roots Retreat Men's Intensive in Episode 6 (with Adam, James, and Jason), we talked about the shared experiences of people who attend these weekend events, and why they can be so helpful in the process of recovery.In this episode, Greg, Stacey, Paige, and Brittney talk about the two primary focuses of the Roots Retreat Women's Workshop: Understanding trauma and  addiction. Trauma is an experience shared in some way by basically everyone, but many of us don't recognize the parts of our life that introduced us to trauma long before we were in relationship with our partner. Women who are sexually betrayed often experience that trauma "stepping on the exposed nerve" of unprocessed trauma they already carried. And coming to understand addiction can help women see that the inexcusable things their husbands/partners did often came from patterns that started long before they were together. All of this new or fuller understanding can help her as she heals and moves forward.If you are a woman struggling in the aftermath of what you've discovered about your partner and are trying to determine what you need to do, and you think the Roots Retreat Women's Workshop may be helpful for you, please reach out to us. We'd love to help you in any way we can!Check out our links below (including the workshop), and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts!#betrayaltrauma #trauma #healing #affairs #sexualbetrayal #therapy #counseling #gospel #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"Have Christian men been conditioned to accept behaviors that marginalize and abuse women? When does normal relational conflict cross the line and become abusive? Has the Church been complicit in creating inequity between men and women?Questions like these represent much of the work of our guest, Dr. Andrew Bauman. Andrew is a therapist and the Founder and Director of the Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health & Trauma. His dissertation was on studying the impact of sexism and abuse on women in the Protestant Church. Andrew is the author of seven books, and his newest book is called SAFE CHURCH: How to Guard Against Sexism & Abuse in Christian Communities.Andrew's wife, Dr. Christy Bauman, is also a therapist and author. They live and work in Brevard, NC.#andrewbauman #andrewjbauman #safechurch #sexism #mutuality #abuse #christybauman #counseling #coaching #gospel #sexualaddiction #sexaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversationChristian Counseling Center for Sexual Health & Trauma websiteAndrew's personal websiteMan Land info page Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"Here is Part 2 of our conversation with Jay Stringer.Last week Jay released his book, Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow. Moving beyond the singular experience of sexual struggles found in his first book Unwanted, Desire offers a critically important opportunity to better understand the core longings created in every person. To see desire as good, part of how we reflect the image of God. To be curious about our experiences with desire - how it's been encouraged, discouraged, or even prohibited. Jay's book explores desire through the five core longings that show up in all of our lives: The desires for wholeness, growth, intimacy, pleasure, and meaning. Through better understanding our relationship to desire, we can live more fully the lives we were created to live.Jay lives in New York City with his wife Heather and their children.#jaystringer #unwanted #desire #storywork #sexuality #masculinity #counseling #coaching #gospel #sexualaddiction #sexaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversationJay's websiteJay's books (Amazon)Holistic Desire website Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"For people interested in digging deeply into their stories and better understanding themselves and the unwanted behaviors that plague them, few people have been as helpful as Jay Stringer.In 2018, Jay's book Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing invited readers to a new approach to unwanted sexual behaviors: one that begins by "listening to our lust." Jay encouraged readers to see their struggles as a roadmap to past harms and current hinderances to freedom.Now he's released his second book, Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow. Moving beyond the singular experience of sexual struggles, Desire offers a critically important opportunity to better understand the core longings created in every person. To see desire as good, part of how we reflect the image of God. To be curious about our experiences with desire - how it's been encouraged, discouraged, or even prohibited. Through better understanding our relationship to desire, we can live more fully the lives we were created to live.This conversation was too good to abbreviate, so we split it into two parts... the second half will be available Tuesday, March 10.Jay lives in New York City with his wife Heather and their children.#jaystringer #unwanted #desire #storywork #sexuality #masculinity #counseling #coaching #gospel #sexualaddiction #sexaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversationJay's websiteJay's books (Amazon)Holistic Desire website Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"Does a focus on acknowledging trauma and providing safety create more resilient or fragile people? That question is at the heart of many charged discussions about therapy and trauma work. Virtually every contemporary therapeutic modality recognizes the impact trauma has on our current struggles. But many people feel it's too much focus, and that the result is people who can't handle anything difficult and who call "trauma" on everything that's hard in life.Chuck DeGroat has a lot to say about this. He has been a pastor, and is currently a therapist, author, and seminary professor (Western Theological Seminary) who specializes in pastoral & leadership health, abuse & trauma, and navigating spiritual & emotional obstacles on the faith journey.Chuck is the author of multiple books, including When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community From Emotional and Spiritual Abuse and Healing What’s Within: Coming Home to Yourself and to God When You’re Weary, Wounded, and Wandering. He also authors a Substack page (Sit With Chuck), and a recent post is the subject of most of our conversation.Chuck lives in Grand Rapids, Michigan with his wife. They have two grown daughters.#chuckdegroat #sitwithchuck #connection #counseling #spirituality #growth #change #therapy #healing #trauma #narcissism #sexuality #addiction #betrayaltrauma #recovery #grace #gospel #transformationChuck's personal pageSit With Chuck (Substack page, see "Safety and Suffering" posted 1/22/26)Master of Arts in Clinical Mental Health Counseling program at Western Seminary Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"For anyone who has ever said, "A part of me wants to ________, but another part thinks it might not be a good idea..." This episode is for you.People actually ARE made up of many complex parts...it's part of how we reflect the image of God. And a counseling modality know as Internal Family Systems (IFS) that began in the 1980s has helped countless people better understand themselves and how they experience the world around them.Jenna Riemersma is a therapist who has become one of the world's leading experts in IFS. She is a Certified Sexual Addiction (CSAT) and Certified Multiple Addictions (CMAT) Therapist, and has written multiple books on IFS, including the groundbreaking Altogether You.Greg and Stacey got a chance to have a conversation with Jenna in which she gave a crash course in IFS - what it is, how it works, and how it helps people understand  and approach all their parts with curiosity and compassion.Jenna's websiteJenna's books (on Amazon)Insight Timer app (Jenna has meditations in the app) Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"Our guest for Episode 57 is a recognized expert in biblical sexuality. Dr. Juli Slattery has decades of experience as a therapist, author, and founder of the organization Authentic Intimacy. For years she has been helping women and men move toward healing from painful experiences with sexual brokenness, and developing a healthy view of their sexuality.Her podcast Java With Juli offers great, thought-provoking perspectives on sex and relationships, and her new book Surrendered Sexuality helps people better understand the significance and design of our God-given sexuality. In it she writes about how Jesus gave His life not primarily to change behavior, but to renew our identity—which is rooted in our union with Christ, not our wounds, feelings, desires, past or present sins, or purity. Embracing this will help us experience sexuality in the way God intended.#julislattery #drjulislattery #javawithjuli #surrenderedsexuality #connection #counseling #spirituality #growth #change #therapy #healing #trauma #sexuality #sexualaddiction #betrayaltrauma #recovery #grace #gospel #transformationAuthentic Intimacy websiteJava With Juli podcastSurrendered Sexuality on Amazon Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"Since the late '90's / early 2000's, Passion Music has been blessing the Church with song after song to sing together. And one of its primary worship leaders is our guest Kristian Stanfill.Kristian is the voice you've heard on songs like "One Thing Remains," "Death Was Arrested," "Glorious Day," and "Come to Jesus." He is a passionate, enthusiastic worshipper and worship leader who leads at Passion conferences and at his home church, Passion City Church in Atlanta.There's another part of Kristian's life that became known over the past few years. In November 2020, a few of his closest friends confronted Kristian about his alcoholism. What had started as a crutch/escape from stress and difficult emotions had developed into an addiction and was out of control. What happened next is an amazing story of grace, healing, and recovery.After stepping out of the spotlight for a couple years, Kristian released Make It Out Alive, an album of songs written in his time with God in recovery. More recently he released Come to Jesus, a new collection of worship songs and real-life encouragements.Kristian lives in Atlanta with his wife Kerri and their kids. #kristianstanfill #passionmusic #cometojesus #makeitoutalive #worship #passion #gospel #grace #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw  #connection #conversationKristian's websitePassion Music websiteKristian on Instagram Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"RE-RELEASE. This episode originally released July 22, 2024.For men and women seeking recovery from unwanted sexual behavior, few people have been as influential or helpful as Michael John Cusick. Michael is a therapist,  author, and Founder/CEO of Restoring the Soul, a counseling practice that provides opportunities for life-changing breakthrough with licensed and experienced therapists. Their holistic approach creates an atmosphere of safety and grace where people can explore their relationships, identity, emotions, and spirituality.In 2012 Michael released the book Surfing For God: Discovering the Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggles. It, along with Jay Stringer's book Unwanted, has been extraordinarily powerful in helping people discover what needs they are actually trying to meet when pursuing broken behavior. The book contains a story (that Greg and Michael talk about) that's part of the reason for our podcast's name!In early 2025 Michael released his second book, Sacred Attachment: Escaping Spiritual Exhaustion and Trusting in Divine Love. This book explores how an understanding of attachment theory can help tired and wounded Christians get "unstuck" in our relationship with God and experience the closeness he intended us to have with him.Restoring the Soul offers individual and group intensive therapy experiences, as well as a blog, podcast, and other resources.Check out Michael's links below, and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts!Restoring the Soul websiteRestoring the Soul podcastSurfing For God and Sacred Attachment (on Amazon)Training Session at Beeson Divinity School (2014)#MichaelJohnCusick #RestoringTheSoul #SurfingForGod #SacredAttachment #attachmenttheory #counseling #therapy #gospel #recovery #sexaddiction Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"The scariest thing about kids and tech isn’t just what they can find—it’s what can find them. Greg & Bobby sat down with Chris McKenna, founder of Protect Young Eyes and president of Better Tech, to map a practical path through the chaos: clear relational scripts, layered technical guardrails, and a mindset that trades “set it and forget it” for steady, confident presence.Chris breaks the work into two buckets—relational and technical—and shows how the ratio shifts as kids grow. For little ones, lock down devices and avoid exposure; for teens, double down on agency and honest talk. We explore the five habits of a tech-ready home (you'll want to get to know these). Chris outlines layered protection—router, device, location, and app—and explains why your router is the most important device you own. If your teen already has social media, you’ll get “ridiculously direct” scripts for sextortion-proofing and an approach that invites confession without shame.We also touch on policy and the broader movement: how Better Tech equips classrooms and pushes for laws that protect kids and hold platforms accountable. You don’t need a computer science degree to lead your family well—you need small, consistent actions and language your kids can remember when it matters.#chrismckenna #protectyoungeyes #bettertech #delayistheway #families #parenting #childhoodtrauma #adolescenttrauma #digitalresponsibility #gospel #grace #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #recovery #connection #conversationProtectYoungEyes.comThe Better Tech Project Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)