The Dad Edge Podcast

Ah, Clark Griswold; the preeminent example of a father and husband with the best of intentions, but reaction challenged when it comes to dealing with life's hurdles and controlling his temper. Of course he wants the best for his family: from great vacations to Wally World to finding the biggest Christmas tree. Unfortunately, on his quest to be the "perfect father", he tends to respond in anger and frustration when things don't go the way he plans. Sound typical? Ok, so maybe Griswold is a bit extreme (or maybe not), but you have more than likely had a moment or two when frustration has gotten the best of you. Larry and Shawn provide 5 easy ways to keep your anger and frustration at bay. Your Temper and the "Perfect Father Myth" Before we go any further, let's dispel the "perfect father" myth; there is no perfect father, doesn't exist. We're human, have emotions and sometimes, those emotions get the better of us and that's okay. As Larry says, "great fathers have bad moments", it's what you do in those moments that build your character and provide a positive example for those around you, specifically your children. Controlling our Temper Means Knowing our Triggers So, what's a guy to do when it seems like the world is pushing all of your buttons? Know your triggers. Maybe it's repeating yourself to get your kids to pick up after themselves or you've just come home from a full day of work and you are barraged with requests to help with homework and the kids. Whatever your triggers, identify them so that you can do what you need to do to prepare yourself ahead of time and following these 5 ideas might just help diffuse your response: Temper Tip #1: Breathe Be able to take a breath. Not just that little hyperventilating breath, either. This breath needs to be a nice, long, drawn breath, enough to calm you and bring you back to a state of peace. It should allow you to reset yourself and prepare you to deal with the situation at hand in a rational manner. Temper Tip #2: Walk Away Walk away. In the heat of the moment, our adrenaline may make us want to stay in the situation and argue. But cooler heads do prevail, walking away when we feel our blood boiling will keep us from saying things we may later regret. Not only that, walking away gives us a chance to get perspective on the situation. Adrenaline only muddies the waters. Temper Tip #3: Stay Active Stay active. If there's one concept that is driven home on a regular basis on the GDP, it's the benefits of exercise and overall health. In the case of anger and frustration, physical activity can also help us to channel this aggression into something more positive. So, there's really a dual benefit: your anger remains at bay and you stay fit! Temper Tip #4: Surround Yourself with the RIGHT People Surround yourself with positive, supportive people. Enough said. You need a sounding board that has been through similar experiences and can give you either advice or a simple listening ear. Temper Tip #5: When you do Lose your Cool, Apologize Finally, when you do lose your cool, apologize. Even if it goes against everything you feel like doing, an apology goes a long way in repairing a bridge that may be a little singed. Apologies disarm people and pave the way to build a relationship into a stronger force. Forget about Perfection Forget the "perfect father" myth. Let it remain just that: a myth. We are human, prone to the same emotions of all other humans; it's what we do with those emotions that make us who we truly are. Free Resources: Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts! Grab one HERE Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD'S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS Links Amazon Bestselling Book: The Dad's Edge - 9 Simple Ways to Have: Unlimited Patience, Improved Relationships, and Positive Lasting Memories Larry's New Course: The Dad's Edge - 6 Strategies to Achieve: Unlimited Patience, Improved Relationships, and Positive Lasting Memories Larry's Twitter Page Larry's Facebook Page Larry's Instagram Page Shawn's Website Shawn's Twitter Page Shawn's Facebook Page Shawn's Instagram Page Thanks for checking out this week's podcast on Five Ways to Control Our Temper as Dads.

Teach GRIT! The Good Dad Project Podcast with Frankie Edgar was a game changer for so many reasons. The coolest thing about the GDP and having a dad podcast is that no matter fame nor fortune, men jump at the chance to share their views, their journey, and even their struggles. For this week's five minute Thursday, I wanted to recap some highlights from the interview with Frankie. When under pressure, be calm, cool, and collected When the UFC Octagon cage doors close…anything can happen. The secret to a successful outcome in the octagon is being prepared for anything because anything can happen. Frankie shares that being calm, cool, and collected is absolutely necessary to be able to think rationally. Being calm, cool, and collected is a skill that transfers from the cage to the family. Through our journey of fatherhood, there will be situations that test us under pressure. When we respond calmly and avoid a knee-jerk panic reaction, it illustrates our emotional resiliency. How to teach GRIT Teaching grit is probably one the most difficult lessons to teach our kids. Our instinct is to protect them from anything that is difficult. Our society also puts such an emphasis on winning at all costs. Frankie mentioned that he loves leveraging sports to teach his kids grit. For example, he doesn't really care if his kids win or lose a wrestling match. What he wants to see if how hard they fight for the win. If there isn't a desire and a fire in the belly to win, that is a bigger problem. None of us can coach desire. Desire is either there or it's not. However, we can teach how to leverage our desire to win to tap into our grit. We can even leverage our losses to teach us lessons on how to win in the future. Finally, we can teach grit through losing and failure. A victory is even sweeter when we have to work at it extremely hard. Lessons of grit are learned through sports and as parents we can use situations like losses to teach these lessons. For Parents of Youth Sports: Take a Seat and Enjoy Frankie had some excellent advice for parents of youth sports and that's "take a seat and enjoy." Be the silent voice of love and support when it comes to sports. Its extremely difficult to not get emotionally wrapped up in our kids sports performance. I am speaking from a father who is a parent and a coach of my kids sports teams and I see it all the time. Parents can be extremely tough on their kids even when they think they are helping. I didn't really get this mentality until I read The Matheny Manifesto by Mike Matheny, manager of the St. Louis Cardinals. If you really want to see your child love sports and if you want to see peak performance…take a seat, enjoy, and let the coaches do their jobs. Free Resources: Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts! Grab one HERE Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD'S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS Links Amazon Bestselling Book: The Dad's Edge - 9 Simple Ways to Have: Unlimited Patience, Improved Relationships, and Positive Lasting Memories Larry's New Course: The Dad's Edge - 6 Strategies to Achieve: Unlimited Patience, Improved Relationships, and Positive Lasting Memories Larry's Twitter Page Larry's Facebook Page Larry's Instagram Page Connect with Frankie Edgar: Frankie Edgar Website Frankie Edgar Twitter Frankie Edgar UFC Profile

Frankie Edgar comes on the Good Dad Project Podcast and shares amazing insight with our listeners on work ethic, family, and grit. This interview is EPIC on so many levels. About Frankie Edgar Frankie Edgar is a professional MMA fighter in the UFC. Frankie started his successful fighting career with a solid foundation of wrestling. Two-time State Place Winner for New Jersey, 2nd in HS Nationals in 2000, 4x Division 1 National Qualifier for Clarion University and College Freestyle All-American in 2004. He currently fights in the 155LB weight class in the UFC with 18 wins, 4 losses, and 1 Draw. Frankie has 3 kids – 2 boys and 1 girl. Frankie Edgar's Upbringing We are responsible for what we do, or for that fact, do not do. Frankie Edgar, UFC Champion fighter knows this very well. Growing up in New Jersey in a working class family, Frankie's father showed his kids a life template for how to get through the good and rough times in life. Through his sacrifices for his family, Frankie learned from his own father that even when life doesn't deal you a fair hand, it is up to the individual to do what is necessary to make the situation right. Extreme Ownership and Life Lessons of Wrestling Frankie took this mindset to the mat as a wrestler as well. Frankie says the sport is different from other sports in that when you lose a match, the blame falls solely on your shoulders. There's no one else to point the finger at. You either pinned your opponent or you didn't. And so it goes in life: those who are successful are willing to take the blame for their mistakes and also know how to take a lesson from those mistakes. Life Lessons Learned from the Cage In the cage, Frankie says, even when he is faced with mind-wrecking punches, he has to remain "cool, calm and collected and make rational decisions." Demonstrating this in the ring and in his life, he is able to set the example for his children that even in the most trying conditions, a calm mindset will help to fully understand the situation and make the best decision. Take a Seat and Enjoy Even when it comes to his own children, and those he coaches, he says he "take a seat and enjoy." He gives the same advice to parents of athletes. Instead of forcing your own desires on your kids, give them a choice so they feel empowered and know that they can make the decisions that impact their lives. (This seems to be a pervasive theme among all elite athletes we've spoken with). Frankie Edgar on Teaching Grit Overall, Frankie Edgar wants to make sure his kids learn to have grit, be good people and have a sense of culture. When it comes to his kids, Frankie says, he goes with his gut. Free Resources: Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts! Grab one HERE Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD'S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS Links Amazon Bestselling Book: The Dad's Edge - 9 Simple Ways to Have: Unlimited Patience, Improved Relationships, and Positive Lasting Memories Larry's New Course: The Dad's Edge - 6 Strategies to Achieve: Unlimited Patience, Improved Relationships, and Positive Lasting Memories Larry's Twitter Page Larry's Facebook Page Larry's Instagram Page Shawn's Website Shawn's Twitter Page Shawn's Facebook Page Shawn's Instagram Page Connect with Frankie Edgar: Frankie Edgar Website Frankie Edgar Twitter Frankie Edgar UFC Profile Thanks for checking out this week's Good Dad Project Podcast Episode featuring Frankie Edgar. Other Shows Mentioned in this Episode Good Dad Project with Carlos Condit on Grit and Gratitude Good Dad Project with Jake Herbert on the Gold Medal Mindset Good Dad Project with Charlie Brenneman on Driven for Excellence Good Dad Project with Jim Miller on Living a Life without Regret

Hey guys for this week's "Five Minute Thursday" I wanted to highlight a few takeaways from our interview with Jason Mackenzie, founder of the The Book of Open. Empowerment through Vulnerability For most men, we associate vulnerability with weakness. To be honest, even hearing the word "vulnerable" my first thought is "unwanted exposure to weakness." However, vulnerability is a strength. Vulnerability is empowerment through authenticity, which is being true to one's self. I have been working with men/fathers for the past three years, and I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that if men are going to be "vulnerable" with each other, it has to be in an atmosphere or situation where it "cool thing." I can tell you from experience that men will check out when you start talking about sensitive stuff like "let's share our feelings." Men simply don't respond to that when in the presence of another man. In fact, it's even hard for us to do this with our wives for the most part. However, men are good at one thing…problem solving. We love to problem solve. We feel empowered when we share our wisdom and give advice. To be honest, being vulnerable is sharing a struggle or an obstacle and simply asking for input. The way to kick start a "cool atmosphere" of vulnerability is to ask for advice from a friend. Here's an example that will really hit this home…If you are sitting across that table with a friend and he says: "Hey Mike, I am struggling in my marriage and I need to share my feelings with you about it." OR "Hey Mike…man…so check this out, Jen and I are having some tough times lately. There is a ton of tension between Jen and me. I can't really figure out how to get things back in the groove. Have you and Becky been through this? If so, how can you help me out man?" Which one of those sounds better and would be received better? It's the same dilemma and situation…just teed up better. Abundance versus Scarcity Jason hit upon a great topic that is powerful for all of us and that is having the right mentality. Our brains are wired up to default to fear and keep us from danger. This part of our brain is the amygdala and it has been a part of our hardwired DNA since the beginning. This is the part of our brain where we hear the voice of fear and consequences. It's the same part of your brain that will talk you out of risks and tells you are not good enough. It's not our fault; it's just part of our hardwiring. It takes a trained and disciplined mind to look at our lives with abundance vs. scarcity. Successful people don't think about what they are going to lose by taking a calculated risk. Successful people consider what they will lose if they don't take a calculated risk and move forward. So, the next time that fear voice starts to bend your ear, remember the words of wisdom from Jason Mackenzie on this subject. It's all about perspective and reframing. No One Relates to Perfection I grew up in the 80's and I was a die-hard WWF professional wrestling fan. Hulk Hogan, Rick Flair, Jimmy Superfly, and so-on were my heroes. The most hated guys in that sport at that time was "Mr. Perfect and Mr. Wonderful." Want to know why? It's because no one can relate to inflated egos and perfection. People relate to real-life authenticity and transparency. Our greatest human need is the need for community and relationships. It's impossible for us to relate to others that view themselves as superhuman or "perfect." The big lesson here is there is connection and empowerment through being authentic, vulnerable, and transparent. People relate to us better in that mindset and we are more willing to accept ourselves. Guys, thanks for checking out this week's "Five Minute Thursday." See you next week and have an awesome weekend!

The life that Jason Mackenzie had longed for was ripped out from underneath him when the mother of his daughters was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. After years of trying to hide the pain of watching his wife literally fall apart before him, Jason had to face the reality that his dream life was gone. His wife committed suicide and left him to raise their two daughters on his own. To deal with the pain of his wife’s condition, Jason turned to drinking.

I recently had the honor of interviewing Jack Canfield one-on-one for an hour. I have to tell you it was one the most inspiring interviews I have done to date. For those of you who don’t know Jack Canfield, he is one of the most successful authors and success coaches of our time. He known world-wide for his Chicken Soup for the Soul Series and his Success Principles Series. His books have reached the lives of over 100 million readers and his inspiration is reaching more people every day. Before I did this interview, I only knew Jack Canfield as the successful person he is today. I have often heard the quote: “When you see a successful person, we usually only see the tip of the iceberg. We usually don’t see all the hardships, failures, and challenges these people have gone through in their lives to get where they are today.” After spending an hour with Jack, I can tell you I was shocked to hear about his challenging childhood with alcoholic parents, the number of times he was rejected for “Chicken Soup for the Soul” (144 rejections), and that he earned a C+ in writing at Harvard. Below are just few takeaways I learned from spending just 60 minutes with Jack Canfield DON'T LET YOUR CHILDHOOD CRIPPLE YOU Jack had a very difficult childhood raised by a father who was an alcoholic. The cool thing about Jack Canfield is that he used his childhood as an example of what he didn't want to be as an adult. The main point is we have people in or society that live in two camps. Camp #1- Those of us who leverage challenging times to fuel our future success. Camp #2- Those of us who use our backgrounds for excuses as to why we are not successful and never will be. So my question to you guys is: “WHAT CAMP DO YOU LIVE IN?” If you are in camp #2: Congrats because you have made an awesome choice on the path to an empowering life versus a victim mentality life. If you are in camp #1: it’s time to re-evaluate your life and ask yourself better questions. If you are in camp one...go back and listen to Episode 28 with Navy Seal Commander Mark Divine on HOW TO CREATE AN UNBEATABLE MIND. That episode will give you a solid foundation on how to forge mental toughness and become resilient. DON'T LET YOUR GRADES DICTATE YOUR SUCCESS IN LIFE Jack got a “C+” in writing at Harvard and was always told he was an "average writer.” Jack is now one of the most successful authors of our time. Had he listened to his professors at Harvard and didn't move forward with his passion to tell stories, our generation would not know the Jack Canfield we know today and he would have never had such a positive impact on the world. S So, my question to you is: “WHAT HAVE OTHER PEOPLE TOLD YOU ABOUT YOUR SKILL OR PASSION THAT YOU HAVE BOUGHT INTO?” What if for a minute you no longer bought into those labels? What if you decided to step into your greatness? What would be the worst that could happen? I grantee 2 things are certain: If you failed you would be no worse off than you are right now. If you decided to pursue your dream, whether you failed or succeeded, you would not live a life of "I wish". Pay Flynn has a great quote that really hits this home which is..."I would rather have a life of "oh-wells and not a life of I wish I would haves.” DON'T LET FAILURE STOP YOU Jack was rejected by 144 publishers for his first “Chicken Soup for the Soul” Book. Let that sink in for a second...144 rejections. How would you feel about your purpose/passion if you were rejected 5 times, 10 times, 50 times, or even 100 times? What if Jack Would have thrown in the towel at the 143rd rejection? The cool thing that Jack Canfield mentioned is that he would have self-published no matter what. It's empowering to have a backup plan and know you will move forward even if it's on your own when no one else believes in you. The lesson here is to fail forward and not give up. Each time we fail there is a life lesson, we learn, and we move forward. Guys, thank you for tuning in to our new segment - Five Minute Thursday's. The goal of this mid-week podcast is to give you the powerhouse cliff notes of the week, to kick start your weekend, and ultimately to empower your life. Guys make sure you head to gooddadproject.com to get several free resources. Also make sure you grab a copy of “The Dads Edge” on Amazon. It's an easy read and has become a bestseller. See you next week with a powerhouse guest! Up next week have Jason Mackenzie with The Book of Open, we also have Joe De Sena, founder of the Spartan Races and NYT BESTSELLER of SPARTAN UP. FINALLY also have professional UFC fighter Frankie Edgar also coming up in a few weeks. Guys have a great weekend and live your life with purpose and without regret!

Jack Canfield, author of Chicken Soup for the Soul as well as a new book, 30 Day Sobriety Solution, gives a fresh perspective on this sometimes difficult balance. Jack Canfield on Resiliency So, maybe you didn’t have the best childhood, or maybe you grew up with every privilege under the sun. It really doesn’t matter. It’s really all about how you come out of the situation and how you respond to the situations you’ve been through. Through this, you provide your children with the ultimate example of resiliency and success. “Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself. They come through you, but not from you. And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.”- Khalil Gibran. Wow. Such an impactful statement, but one that might be hard to put into practice. We want so much for our children to have the best of everything that we sometimes lose sight of our role in their lives. Sometimes we forget that our children are their own person, not a smaller replica of ourselves. In not understanding this difference, we may try to put our children in activities or situations we wish we would have had for our own childhoods. Jack Canfield on Intention But, it’s also about having the intention and willingness to put in the time. Jack had regrets and guilt in parenting, but he was able overcome those feelings because he knew he had to be the best example as a father. He knew he had to love each of his children individually. There’s a lesson here: you’ve got to love each child the way they want to receive it, not the way you want to give it. Accept your child for the person they are, not for whom you want them to be. Sometimes we try to turn our children into the children we wished we could have been or have the opportunities that will make us look like good parents. You have children; you are not your children. You have to let them be themselves. Correcting Behavior and Praise When children make mistakes, instead of constantly correcting them for what they have done wrong, point out what they have done right. Leave it there. Then, when they attempt the same task again, praise what they did the time before and then give a suggestion regarding the part of the task they need to correct. If you have young children, be careful with how you approach moments where they fail and succeed. Between the ages of 3-8, Jack says, research indicates that their self esteem is at its most vulnerable. Granted, during their entire childhood children are building their self worth, but it is these years that seem the most critical. Jack Canfield and The 30 Day Sobriety Solution But being the best parent for our children stems, as we’ve seen so many times on the GDP, from how we respond to challenges in our daily lives. Jack approaches this in his new book, 30 Day Sobriety Solution. You may not be an alcoholic, but Jack says in his book that even when we are casual, social drinkers, we still may be using that glass of wine or a beer to “wind down” or “take the edge off.” You may even find that when you have that drink, you aren’t really present for those you love: you’d rather fall asleep instead of reading your child that bed time story after the simple glass of wine (or two). Maybe you question how you’ll enjoy a night out without that one drink, or how you’ll get through that social work setting without the beer. But as Jack points out and his book addresses, there may be some underlying factors we may be covering with that drink. It's about being your BEST SELF It’s really about being your best self in all aspects of your life-putting down a drink may just be one of them. Jack’s advice? Be as committed to being a great dad as you are to your job, your hobby or other things you find important. If you want something different, you have to do something different. The choices you make and actions you take today determine your outcomes for tomorrow. Free Resources: Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS Links Amazon Bestselling Book: The Dad's Edge - 9 Simple Ways to Have: Unlimited Patience, Improved Relationships, and Positive Lasting Memories Larry’s New Course: The Dad’s Edge - 6 Strategies to Achieve: Unlimited Patience, Improved Relationships, and Positive Lasting Memories Larry’s Twitter Page Larry’s Facebook Page Larry’s Instagram Page Shawn’s Website Shawn’s Twitter Page Shawn’s Facebook Page Shawn’s Instagram Page Jack Canfield Links: Jack Canfield Website The 30 Day Solution Jack Canfield Facebook Fan Page Jack Canfield Twitter The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman Thank you for checking out this episode with Jack Canfield. This episode is one to remember!

In this episode, you will discover the importance of sleep and how it effects every critical aspect of our lives. You will also discover the detrimental effects of sleep loss. Finally, you will walk away from this episode with several sleep tips that will greatly improve your sleep quality and you can start using tonight!

George Bryant: Marine, successful author, innovator in the field of the Paleo Diet. These accolades don’t exactly trigger images of someone you might believe has had to battle through some of life’s greatest challenges. Though, George Bryant is just that man. It is only through his incredibly difficult childhood, one of tremendous neglect and abuse, that he found his true strength. George has taken what could have been one heck of an excuse to opt out of being successful in life and turned it into the ultimate inspiration.

Jim Harshaw believes failure, struggle and setbacks are not only an inevitable part of life but a necessary step on the path to success. Jim Harshaw has learned many life lessons on the wrestling mat. Having been a Division I All American and won three ACC Championships for the University of Virginia, trained at the Olympic Training Center and competed overseas for Team USA he has experienced significant triumph and devastating defeat. He relates those powerful lessons of failure, struggle and setback to empower his audiences to overcome their own challenges and achieve success despite their inevitable failures.