

The He Wants She Wants Marriage Podcast
Mark Usher and Matilde Crocini
Does your marriage feel like a war of unmet wants?
We know how this feels.
Follow our conversation in The He Wants She Wants Marriage Podcast. We’ll help you both get what you want in marriage so you never have to feel at war again.
Hosted by relationship coaches, and husband and wife, Mark Usher and Matilde Crocini.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Mar 27, 2026 • 34min
11: The 4 traits that will doom your marriage if you don’t act now — Marriage Apocalypse Series, Part 1
Do you want to know what will kill your relationship if you don’t act now? The 4 Horsemen of marriage Apocalypse, as described by John Gottman, when present in marriage are the greatest predictor of divorce.The trap most couples fall into is that either husband or wife (often both) feel entitled in practicing these traits during everyday communication, and do not realize the impact these actually have on long-term relating. We did that for a long time ourselves! In this episode we offer clarity on what these traits are and how to spot them, as they can sneak in under the radar of the best intentioned couples. These 4 traits can truly bring doom to your marriage, and yet there's good news: With awareness it's never too late to start implementing changes in your communication, deepening your connection day after day, bringing beautiful transformation to your marriage.Share this episode with your partner and unlock even better results together! If you enjoyed this episode subscribe and leave a review. It truly helps us reaching more listeners that, just like you, want to unlock the full potential in long-term relationship.

Mar 20, 2026 • 32min
10: 3 steps to generate deeper intimacy couples must know
Do you want to know why intimacy dies out in most longterm relationships? It is because no one taught us how to generate deeper emotional intimacy and connection. Most couples believe it should just be there.The truth is, building and maintaining emotional intimacy in marriage is a skill we need to cultivate. It doesn't just happen. In this episode we share 3 super practical steps you can start implementing today that will not only help you feeling heard in your relationship, but also experiencing deeper emotional connection with your partner. Empathy in marriage, alongside skillful communication are key ingredients to unlock a happy and fulfilling relationship.Share this episode with your partner and unlock even better results together!If you enjoyed this episode subscribe and leave a review. It truly helps us reaching more listeners that, just like you, want to unlock the full potential in long-term relationship.Related EpisodeEp 3 The #1 thing that will have your partner love your feedback

Mar 18, 2026 • 55min
9: 20 things a husband must avoid saying to his wife on date night
Do you want to know why your date nights have been a disaster 9 times out of 10 despite your best efforts? Most husbands risk ruining date night despite coming from the best of intentions, because they are unskillful in communication. No one taught us this stuff!Here are 20 things any husband must avoid saying to his way before, during and after going on their date night. So much effort goes into organising a great date with your partner, but saying 1 or more of these things can truly cause conflict, or at the very least it can bring disconnection. A date is set with the intention of escaping the daily busyness with your partner, to create emotional intimacy and a deeper connection. This is particularly important in longterm relationships where daily routine and chores can slowly kill intimacy. So why not improve your skills in communication, so that instead of creating conflict, you can set the foundations for a wonderful date fuelling a happy marriage?Share this episode with your partner and unlock even better results together! If you enjoyed this episode subscribe and leave a review. It truly helps us reaching more listeners that, just like you, want to unlock the full potential in long-term relationship.Related Episodes:Ep 5 The #1 thing women REALLY want in marriage - This will surprise you

Mar 6, 2026 • 48min
8: Have you married a narcissist? How to tell the difference between a narcissist and an insecure attached
There's a fine line between what can very much look like narcissism and what actually is. Very often what's labelled narcissism is in fact narcissistic behaviour resulting from insecure attachment patterns.This confusion leads to conflict and disconnection in relationships. Understanding the difference between narcissism and insecure attachment patterns can truly help husbands and wives have a safe conversation to reestablish emotional intimacy and connection, resolve conflict and build trust.Chapters00:40 - Introduction to Narcissism in Relationships03:31 - Understanding Labels and Their Impact07:22 - Distinguishing Narcissism from Insecure Attachment09:02 - Key Differences Between Narcissists and Insecure Attachments13:05 - Self-Centeredness: A Shared Trait?16:34 - Empathy: The Narcissist vs. Insecure Attachment23:40 - Gaslighting and Its Misinterpretations28:37 - The Relentless Unwillingness of Narcissism35:04 - The Power of Relentless Willingness40:51 - Three Agreements for a Healthy RelationshipShare this episode with your partner and unlock even better results together! If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe and leave a review. It truly helps us reach more listeners that, just like you, want to unlock the full potential in long-term relationship.Related Episodes
Ep 2 Navigating Relationship Challenges with These 3 Powerful Agreements
Ep 7 How an Anxious Attached Partner Can Turn Their Hypervigilance Into a Relationship Gift

Feb 27, 2026 • 53min
7: How an Anxious Attached Partner Can Turn Their Hypervigilance Into a Relationship Gift
How is hypervigilance impacting your marriage? Is your anxiety creating constant tension between you and your partner? And if you are the partner of someone experiencing hypervigilance, are you at the end of your tether trying to support them and coming up short? The truth is, most relatioships treat hypervigilance as a proble to fix, which in turn creates more disconnection and conflict. The good news is... There's a different way to view this pattern, a way that will support both partners in feeling safe and connected within the relationship. In this episode we share 3 key steps to turn the pattern of hypervigilance from a problem to fix into a gift for the relationship. This episode is for every anxious attached who has felt broken and not seen, not only within the marriage, but also within support containers such as therapy. You are not alone in this and you are not broken. And this episode is also for every partner of someone experiencing hypervigilance, who feels at a loss as to how to support their spouse. These 3 steps will make all the difference. Share this episode with your partner and unlock even better results together!If you enjoyed this episode subscribe and leave a review. It truly helps us reaching more listeners that, just like you, want to unlock the full potential in long-term relationship.Chapters:00:00 — Understanding Hypervigilance in Relationships02:59 — The Problem vs. Puzzle Perspective05:58 — The Impact of External Validation08:56 — The Journey from Conflict to Connection11:54 — Reframing the Relationship Dynamic14:46 — The Hero's Journey in Marriage17:54 — Embracing Humility and Perspective21:08 — Finding Common Ground in Truths26:02 — Navigating Emotional Landscapes: Masculine and Feminine Dynamics32:15 — The Power of External and Internal Curiosity36:51 — Understanding Hypervigilance: A Gift of Observation47:08 — Transforming Trauma into Trust and ConnectionRelated Episode:
Ep3: The #1 Thing That Will Have Your Partner Love Your Feedback
YouTube
Track 1253823– Monetization ID: 9HWIVQATIQUJECP3.

Feb 20, 2026 • 29min
6: The #1 Tip to Stop Fighting in Relationship - This Will Make All the Difference
Are you experiencing conflict in your relatioship? Or is your marriage "happy" on the surface because you've learnt to keep your frustration locked inside? The secret to stop fighting with your partner is not about learning to be quiet or to be the one who shouts the loudest... It's in one easy to implement tip we want to share with you today. Key takeaways: - Why avoiding an arguments only results in the fight escalating - The 3 main things that may be holding you back in expressing your upset with your partner leading to more frustration - The #1 tip that will make all the difference transforming what would be a point of conflict in an opportunity of connectionShare this episode with your partner and unlock even better results together!If you enjoyed this episode subscribe and leave a review. It truly helps us reaching more listeners that, just like you, want to unlock the full potential in long-term relationship.Chapters00:00 — Introduction to the Upset Gap01:34 — Understanding the Upset Gap04:28 — Reasons for Not Expressing Upset08:57 — The Filing Cabinet of Frustration17:50 — Practicing Awareness and Communication26:22 — Shortening the Upset GapRelated episode:
S1 Ep2: Navigating Relationship Challenges with Three Powerful Agreements
YouTube
Track 1253823– Monetization ID: 9HWIVQATIQUJECP3.

Feb 13, 2026 • 32min
5: The One Thing Women REALLY Want in Marriage – This Will Surprise You
As a husband, wouldn’t you love to know what your wife truly wants? As a wife, wouldn’t you love for your husband to get it?The key to a happy marriage doesn’t have to be complicated to find. In this episode we share the #1 thing that a woman truly wants from her man, and it will surprise you.You will learn the 2 secret ingredients to make all the difference as you apply 3 simple but effective ways to give your wife what she wants, steadily building a deeper level of connection and fulfilment in your relationship.Share this episode with your partner and unlock even better results together!If you enjoyed this episode subscribe and leave a review. It truly helps us reaching more listeners that, just like you, want to unlock the full potential in long-term relationship.If you enjoyed this episode listen to episode 3:The #1 thing that will have your partner love your feedbackChapters00:00 — Introduction to the Quest for Understanding Women04:32 — The One Thing Women Want: Being Seen16:53 — Two Key Ingredients to Seeing Your Wife22:56 — Three Practical Ways to Fully See Your Wife30:17 — The Impact of Seeing on Relationships

Feb 6, 2026 • 57min
4: If your partner ignores your dreams use these 3 steps
When was the last time you and your partner lost track of time talking about exciting ideas you have?Do you feel your partner neglects your dreams and ideas?Do you feel unsupported by your spouse in going at your dreams?When dreams are suppressed and invalidated we create a marriage filled with resentment and regret. Partners in happy relationships fuel each other’s dreams.In this episode we share 3 steps you and your partner can start taking now to manifest anything you want in life and in your relationship.Happy marriages fuel big dreams with small steps.To learn more about the Three Agreements, listen to Episode 2 - How to Navigate Relationship Challenges with Three Powerful Agreements

Jan 28, 2026 • 49min
3: The #1 thing that will have your partner love your feedback
Giving and receiving feedback is essential in a happy marriage, but how can we do it in a healthy way?Do you feel your partner takes your feedback as criticism? Do you find it challenging to express constructive feedback to your partner without creating conflict or shut-down?Or maybe you feel you get criticised and judged every time your partner gives you feedback, like they are constantly complaining about you and never seeing the good in you? In this episode we share one thing that will transform your experience of feedback in your relationship forever, creating safety in the process. Chapters00:00 The Challenge of Giving Feedback in Relationships03:53 Personal Experiences with Feedback10:03 The Fear of Feedback: A Shared Struggle16:06 The Importance of Recognition in Feedback21:55 Balancing Feedback and Recognition30:01 Practical Strategies for Giving Feedback46:10 Conclusion: The Power of Recognition

Jan 23, 2026 • 51min
2: How to Navigate Relationship Challenges with Three Powerful Agreements
Do you feel your marriage is filled with the constant pressure of navigating challenges without a map on how to do it? Have you been given advice before that only added to your to-do list with no results?What if there was a clear and easy to implement way to navigate challenges in relationships? In this episode we share three simple yet powerful agreements that have changed it all for us.With these three agreements we moved from a marriage that felt constantly under pressure to a safe and secure relationship unlocking the happiness we were looking for.These three foundational agreements transform any partnership from merely surviving to thriving. Why settle for 'good enough' when you can have AMAZING?


