Martini Shot

Rob Long loves Christmas presents — expensive ones, preferably — and money. Lots of money. It’s an affliction that impacts everyone in entertainment, he argues, where enough is never enough. Even during a particularly confusing and hard year, we’re lucky to be able to complain about the work most of us do, which Rob realized at the paint store. And while Rob may not be personally calling you for money, he’s asking for your donations anyway to his favorite charity. Head to My Friend’s Place, Rob’s charity of choice, to help support youth experiencing homelessness.Transcript here. Subscribe here to The Ankler. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Rob Long reminds us that nobody likes to work for free — which is why, more often than not, writers find themselves in a tricky predicament. In an ideal world, a writer gets hired off a pitch. But other times, the writer ends up drafting a script on spec, a.k.a for free. And even when a writer does sell a pitch, the executives who buy it likely won’t be around long enough to actually produce the script, thus rendering it no different from a spec (minus the small upfront fee). It’s enough to make a writer want to be a producer. Free money! Just ask Rob.Transcript here. Subscribe here to The Ankler. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The podcast explores how material in the entertainment industry repeats itself, with examples of turning dramas into comedies. It discusses the trend of pitching comedy versions of popular shows and emphasizes the importance of tone in storytelling. The influence of audience reactions on live performances is also explored.

This week, Rob Long explains his number one rule for sharing emotions in entertainment-industry relationships: Don’t. After all, the best and longest-lasting relationships in Hollywood are the ones that stay frozen in place, uncomplicated by unnecessary interactions until there’s a business reason to reconnect. Also: never confuse love for you with the love of money (as one might be inclined to do with network execs), and don’t ever feel pressure to say “I love you” back to anyone. Instead, consider the alternative, “You do me great honor.” Transcript here. For more news about the entertainment industry, subscribe to The Ankler at TheAnkler.com/subscribe. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When asked an honest opinion about someone’s appearance, you’ve likely enacted the Fix-It Rule: that is, if someone has the ability to do something about it — a stray hair, for example — you say something; if it’s congenital, well, you keep your mouth shut (or lie). That philosophy extends to Hollywood too, where almost everything is fixable, but everyone — even the most talented among us — has the capacity for at least one truly terrible, unsalvageable piece of work. How you move on from it, explains Rob, makes all the difference.Transcript here. For more news about the entertainment industry, subscribe to The Ankler at TheAnkler.com/subscribe. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever notice the insecurity of those flying to and from L.A.? Everyone is discretely eyeballing everyone else, figuring out who is in first class, and — in the case of one agent Rob Long met at the airport — over-explaining why he was not. You see, in an industry where people rise and fall, and often outright disappear, visible status symbols take on absurd importance. As does creating the appearance that everything is going just great! Which is why Hollywood euphemisms were born — and why Rob always writes his name in big letters on a script. Transcript here. For more news about the entertainment industry, subscribe to The Ankler at TheAnkler.com/subscribe. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bone marrow biopsy? Hahahaha. Or so says Rob Long, who, after his procedure (he was fine!) was able to find the comedy — something that weirdly arrives in the wake of high-stakes moments, particularly around death, disease and crisis. So the world seems like it’s falling apart, but this time for real? As a writer who has spent decades in the comedy business, Rob sees opportunity. Cue the fat guy and the fit guy in the locker room.Transcript here. For more news about the entertainment industry, subscribe to The Ankler at TheAnkler.com/subscribe. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With the writers strike ended, execs all over town are figuring out which pitches they agreed to pre-walkout actually will get produced. Like chefs taking food out of the freezer, suits give a sniff test — assessing what kept on ice can be safely thawed out, and which should be tossed. And as Rob Long explains, the most dangerous place to be — in a kitchen or show business — is in this defrosting stage, where bacteria and spoilage set in. Transcript here. For more news about the entertainment industry, subscribe to The Ankler at TheAnkler.com/subscribe. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The industry today sorely lacks optimism, says Rob. How to get it back? Harness the memory of your early-career freedom.For more news on the entertainment industry subscribe to The Ankler at theankler.com/subscribe. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From “enemy friends” to awkward former colleagues, Rob dives into the ins and outs of making amends in the entertainment industry, even with people you didn’t know disliked you.This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices