CALLING HOME with Whitney Goodman, LMFT

Whitney is fired up about Oprah’s recent podcast about going no contact. She also responds to a Mel Robbins/Karl Pillemer article titled "Life is Too Short to Fight With Your Family." She breaks down why these narratives are harmful, who they're really speaking to (and who they're ignoring), and the problematic assumptions embedded in questions like "where did you get this idea from?” Whitney challenges the toxic positivity of telling people to accept mistreatment from family, questions why we're not writing these articles to Uncle Joe who's being racist at Thanksgiving, and explains why "just accept and move on" advice completely misses the mark.Oprah’s podcast: Oprah Explores the Rising Trend of Going No Contact with Your FamilyMel Robbin and Karl Pillemer article: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/11/26/opinion/thanksgiving-family-fighting.htmlWhitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic PositivityLearn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoicesThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.03:31 Oprah’s podcast45:05 The Mel Robbins’ NYT article58:15 Taking a break in December Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kate Gray (@codependencykate) is back with Whitney to react to one of the most iconic dysfunctional holiday dinners ever depicted on television: “Fishes” from The Bear (S2E06). They break down the infamous episode scene by scene, analyzing how anxiety manifests differently in each of the three siblings, Mikey, Natalie, and Carmy, in reaction to an emotionally volatile mother, Donna. Even if you haven’t seen the episode, you will almost certainly find a way to relate to Whitney and Kate’s breakdown of holiday gatherings and the ways we so often find ourselves trapped in roles we thought we'd escaped.Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic PositivityLearn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoicesThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.02:44 Episode setup09:58 The kitchen scene18:38 Natalie and Donna28:59 Dining room scene41:28 Mikey throwing forks at Uncle Lee46:47 Donna loses it at the dinner table Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whitney dives into the pitfalls of using therapy language with emotionally immature parents, revealing how it often backfires. She analyzes a pivotal scene from the show 'All Her Fault,' discussing sibling dynamics and how childhood roles can create lasting effects. Listener questions elicit fascinating insights about estrangement among siblings and the complexities of a competitive mother-daughter relationship. Whitney's expertise sheds light on navigating these challenging family dynamics.

Feeling guilty is one of the most common struggles for people stepping away from a dysfunctional family. Whitney explores how guilt is a learned response, not necessarily an evidence of wrongdoing, and why you were trained to believe that meeting your own needs harms others. She discusses the difference between guilt and grief, how family members use guilt to pull you back in, and offers practical tools for moving forward and coming to terms with these feelings. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic PositivityLearn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoicesThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.1:19 Why guilt shows up when you start doing life differently03:04 Guilt is a learned response, not evidence of wrongdoing12:22 Decentering20:33 Statements for feelings of guilt26:17 Building a life where you feel safe and supported Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whether you're skipping the family gathering, still debating about whether to show up, locked in for a chair-arm-gripping dinner, or spending the day alone, Whitney has a few tips for getting through the next 24 hours. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic PositivityLearn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoicesThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.02:44 Shut the door on social media that will only make it worse05:40 Practice radical acceptance of your situation07:08 Expect people to be who they've always been08:00 Protect your peace by only engaging where you need to10:54 You're allowed to have a good time Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Samantha Dalton, a group facilitator at Calling Home and host of the Nuance Needed podcast, shares her journey of deconstructing Mormonism, highlighting how deeply it permeates personal and communal life. She discusses the emotional immaturity fostered by early marriage norms, the challenges of gender roles, and the dynamics of accountability among men. The conversation also explores reality TV's complex role in destigmatizing trauma and the necessity of brave storytelling to reduce shame. Samantha's insights shed light on the interplay of religion, culture, and identity.

Whitney answers two listener questions that explore complex family dynamics and different responses to dysfunction. The first question comes from someone navigating estrangement from in-laws who rejected their adopted teenager. The second is about what happens when siblings respond differently to the same dysfunctional family system. Whitney also discusses a moment from the show Special Forces where Kody Brown, a TV personality known from the show Sister Wives, takes accountability for his mistakes as a parent. Whitney also reacts to a recent post from Chad and Haley Kultgen from The Necessary Conversation podcast.Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic PositivityLearn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoicesThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.00:00 Introduction and episode overview01:40 Special Forces and Sister Wives analysis08:28 The Necessary Conversation analysis17:43 Caller question #125:07 Caller question #2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whitney shares an interview with Harriet Shearsmith, author of "Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy Patterns and be the Parent You Wish You’d Had" and host of the Unfollowing Mum podcast. Harriet opens up about her journey from being completely enmeshed with her mother who lived with Harriet, her husband and three children to eventually becoming estranged after asking her mom to find her own home. They discuss the challenges of recognizing abuse in your own family system, the societal guilt of cutting contact with a parent, cycle breaking with your own children, and how to repair when you make mistakes with your own children.Harriet's new book: https://amzn.to/43vKLFOHarriet's website: https://harrietshearsmith.com/Harriet's Instagram: @harrietshearsmith Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic PositivityLearn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoicesThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.00:00 Introduction to Harriet Shearsmith and her work01:43 Harriet's story15:19 The societal guilt of questioning your parent's behavior26:07 The difficulty of defining abuse44:14 Raising children who know their worth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whitney unpacks a recent article from New York Magazine: “The Therapy That Can Break You” about Internal Family Systems (IFS) and what can go wrong when trauma treatment crosses ethical lines. She discusses the dangers of working with fragile populations without proper training, and what to watch for when working with different therapeutic modalities. She then answers two listener questions about navigating estrangement as the family scapegoat and balancing support for a depressed parent without losing yourself.Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic PositivityLearn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoicesThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.01:06 Introduction to IFS therapy and The Cut article02:49 What went wrong at Castlewood Treatment Center09:52 Believing victims and the reality of false memories18:08 The need for stabilization when working with trauma25:51 Listener question 1: Navigating estrangement as the family scapegoat31:32 Listener question 2: Supporting a depressed parent without losing yourself Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whitney launches a new series exploring family dynamics in pop culture, starting with Netflix's "Nobody Wants This." Joined by Meg Josephson, author of the New York Times bestseller "Are You Mad at Me?", she breaks down the clash between Noah's enmeshed, guilt-driven Jewish family led by his controlling mother Bina, and Joanne's emotionally distant family that hides behind humor. They discuss what happens when parents fuse their identity with their children, the difference between closeness and enmeshment, how cultural expectations complicate boundaries, and whether you'd actually want to sit down at this family's dinner table.Connect with Meg:https://megjosephson.com/Order Meg’s new book:https://amzn.to/47tyvIiWhitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic PositivityLearn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoicesThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.00:00 Introducing Whitney’s new series03:49 Character overview09:07 When Bina’s identity gets fused with her son14:39 Closeness and enmeshment27:51 Bina confronts Joanne34:15 Joanne at Shabbat scene50:55 The dinner table scale Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.