Best Life Best Death

If you already heard Part I, then you know that this is an episode you do not want to miss! Personal and professional, we dive into what matters most. What are the values and models we hold in caring for the aging? Is there an opportunity to turn towards this often-avoided topic? Rather than jumping over the hard parts and romanticizing about “a good death,” can we instead stick with the mundane, vulnerable realities of aging? https://getaging.comhttps://courtneyemartin.com

This is a topic, a duo, and a two-part podcast that you do not want to miss! I love it when BLBD is both personal and professional, and these two episodes land in that deep space. It all started because I read Courtney Martin’s article “Lack of Eldercare Is Unconscionable” – how’s that for a title? – and when I reached out to Courtney, she suggested we include her father’s gerontologist in the conversation. Together we explore the big topic of aging. As Carla says, “Think about this in the context of the billion dollar industry of anti-aging, where suddenly - unless you live to 100 healthfully - you fail. We are doing a disservice to all of us.” https://getaging.comhttps://courtneyemartin.com

Dr. Holly Everett’s work helps us better understand roadside memorials and other public expressions of remembrance. Her 1998 master’s thesis, “Crossroads: Roadside Accident Memorials in and around Austin, Texas,” examines 35 memorials, exploring how they’re constructed and the cultural meanings they convey. What is the intent of a roadside memorial? Is it meant to be temporary or permanent? Are these markers legal? Who builds them, and what does that process look like? How do roadside memorials compare to spontaneous large-scale public commemorations of grief? Dr. Everett offers insight into these everyday and deeply meaningful spaces of mourning. After learning more about them, you’ll never look at them the same.

Laura Cleminson believes that we could all use more preparation before the people we are close to are dying. How can we get that? Through conversation! Based north of Boston, Laura founded the Pre-Dead Social Club as a way to get her community talking. She creates structured — and fun — social events that bring strangers together to discuss an end-of-life topic, share information, and even touch on some major feelings. Organized but loose, structured but casual, the Pre-Dead Social Club is the happening-est club in town. And the only prerequisite for membership is to be alive, aka pre-dead. Let’s get this going wherever we live!https://www.predeadsocialclub.com/https://www.facebook.com/predeadsocialclubhttps://www.instagram.com/predeadsocialclub/

In this BLBD episode, author Kristina Amelong joins me to share the deeply personal journey behind her memoir What My Brother Knew. Through honest conversations and reflection, Kristina explores the life and death of her brother, who died at the age of 13 in a bicycle accident – which he knew would happen. How did he know? How did the family deal with this? How did exploring this family trauma over many years become a path of healing for his sister? What does it mean to carry a sibling’s story forward with care and courage? This episode offers a poignant look at grief, memory, and the power of telling our truths.https://www.kristinaamelong.com/facebook.com/kristina.amelonginstagram.com/optimalhealthnetwork

What does “code status” really mean — and how does it affect the care we receive at the end of life? In this episode, Dr. Matthew Tyler returns to clarify common misunderstandings about CPR, DNR, and medical interventions during serious illness and the frailty of old age. We explore when full code makes sense, when it probably doesn’t, and how patients and families can make informed, values-based decisions. We also discuss Dr. Tyler’s new caregiver coaching services, through which he offers personalized support when palliative care isn’t available locally. I think everyone should explore these issues and have someone like Dr Tyler on their team to talk things through!⁠https://howtotrainyourdoctor.com/⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/people/How-to-Train-Your-Doctor/100095193314200/?sk=reels_tab⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/howtotrainyourdoctor/⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@howtotrainyourdoctor⁠

Dr. Matthew Tyler returns to explore the layers of palliative care — what it is, what it isn’t, and how it differs from hospice. We discuss everything from managing physical and existential pain to the role of family dynamics and coping skills in end-of-life care. Is pain at the end of life inevitable, and how can it be managed? What role can patients and families play in guiding medical decisions at the end of life? How can families and caregivers better cope with the complexities of serious illness? Whether you’re supporting a loved one or navigating illness yourself, this conversation offers practical insight and hope. Dr. Tyler also introduces his new caregiver coaching services, designed to help families find clarity and confidence in uncertain times, especially when local palliative care is not available.https://howtotrainyourdoctor.com/https://www.facebook.com/people/How-to-Train-Your-Doctor/100095193314200/?sk=reels_tabhttps://www.instagram.com/howtotrainyourdoctor/https://www.youtube.com/@howtotrainyourdoctor

On this BLBD episode I talk with Penny Hawkins Smith, nationally certified hospice and palliative care nurse and social media rockstar! Penny’s 2025 book,  Influencing Death: Reframing Dying for Better Living, forms the basis of our conversation, but of course we hit on a range of topics, including Penny's path into hospice care, how her TikTok videos on death and dying have alleviated death anxiety for many, and the concept of deathbed visions. We ask: How can humor and education mitigate death anxiety? What are common misconceptions about hospice care? And how can we prepare for and discuss death more openly to ensure a 'good death' experience?https://www.hospicenursepenny.com/https://www.instagram.com/hospicenursepennyhttp://www.tiktok.com/@hospicenursepennyhttps://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090618306403&mibextid=LQQJ4d

A good death should be a right not a privilege — Do you agree? Listen to this week’s podcast to learn about how our incarcerated population dies behind bars. The Humane Prison Hospice Project provides training to incarcerated individuals, empowering them to support their peers by building on the knowledge many already possess and fostering a sense of purpose for both those offering care and those receiving it. I found that learning about this program and the people that it serves opened a whole different door for me on considering death and dying. I think you'll find this to be an episode that stays with you, long after the closing music fades.https://humaneprisonhospiceproject.org/https://www.facebook.com/humaneprisonhospiceprojectcahttps://www.instagram.com/humaneprisonhospiceproject

In this episode, I sit down with two fabulous and funny podcast hosts, Anita Coyle and Mel Shore, founders of the Widow We Do Now? podcast. They share their experiences of widowhood, both the parts that are isolating and pieces that have lifted them up. How might you help a friend who is newly widowed after a long period as a caregiver? Or a coworker who loses a partner suddenly? What about if someone wasn’t legally married, but intended to spend their life with someone, who then dies? What the heck is the word for that? We all need education in this area, to better understand ourselves and to be better prepared to offer support to others. https://widowwedonow.com/https://www.facebook.com/widowwedonow/http://instagram.com/widowwedonow