Three Bean Salad

This week the Bean Machine stopped weeping tears of fresh, semi-skimmed milk for the first time in four years and spat out the topic of saints as submitted by Nathan of Bristol. Which cosmic force acted through Nathan to prompt his submission we cannot know. Nor indeed is it clear if this is the only time Nathan has been used as a sacred conduit or if it occurs frequently. If the latter, is Nathan aware of what is happening? And is he using it for good or is he diverting this otherworldly force for things like avoiding traffic jams and making meringues with lovely, stiff peaks? Sounds like it’s time for an investigation by the Bishop of Bristol, P.I.!With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com Insta: threebeansaladpod

What truly separates mankind from other species is our irrepressible urge to shove things that are far bigger than the aperture of our dwellings into our dwellings. Some members of mankind will, at points in their lives, increase the size of their dwellings or move to bigger dwellings, but it is implicitly understood that the aperture into this dwelling must remain the same size so that oversized objects can still be acquired and shoved through it, thus sating mankind’s purest impulse. Perhaps Roy of Spalding is, as we speak, proudly and sweatily draped across a big thing he has freshly shoved into his own dwelling. Perhaps he is lodged between his front door frame and the arm rest of a sumptuous leather sofa. Either way what is on his mind is moving house and that is this week’s (perpetually relevant) topic for the beans.With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com Insta: threebeansaladpod

Charlie of Loughborough feeds The Olympics into the bean machine for this week’s lukewarm topic. Any of Henry, Mike or Ben could definitely have been a gold medal winning olympian if they’d only had the right opportunities, encouragement, childhood pets, funding, early surgical interventions, talent profile, genetic modification and work ethic so this is a subject close to their hearts.With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com Insta: threebeansaladpod

The chicken. Tuna Of The Fields. The Bishop’s Rest. The Pauper’s Goose. Captain Susan’s Seed Hoover. El Punzón Que Vuela. The Crap Eagle. That it goes by so many names is, perhaps, proof of its profound impact on our culture through the ages. Katherine of Boston can surely be forgiven then for selecting chickens as this week’s topic for the beans.With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com Insta: threebeansaladpod

Three friends compare coastguard services around the world and swap personal stories from sea and rescue attachments. They debate what counts as emergency services and sing praises for cave and mountain rescue teams. The conversation drifts to the spectacle of dramatic rescues, famous long-term survival at sea, and absurd listener emails about hygiene disasters and bizarre jingles.

They compare tiny British drives to sprawling American road trips and joke about scale and stereotypes. Nostalgia for chain restaurants and celebrity eateries sparks tales of breadbaskets, relaunches, and why some brands feel frozen in time. Listeners share ski-trip souvenirs, a chaotic remote-controlled Dalek gift, and a comic Channel Tunnel adventure inspired by Sean Bean.

Explore the curious life of cavemen, as hosts debunk myths about prehistoric cave dwellers and present them as more than just dark, damp survivors. They share hilarious anecdotes about modern and historical hermits, like a Greek monk's bafflement at hotels. Enjoy comedic views on public figures rebranding after politics, dive into amusing cave paintings, and envision early humans’ struggles for survival. Plus, reminisce about nostalgic pub culture and the fascinating world of outdated text services.

If a tree fell in the forest and made no sound why do you remember it so clearly? And when was this? Pre-Covid? And what on Earth was Derek doing there? And why does this memory have an original score composed by Sting and is that score what’s muddying the whole “did the tree make a sound” waters in the first place? Thanks to Danielle from The Halifax for selecting this week’s topic - memory. Or was it Daniella from The Horsham?With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Emily of Oxford tunes in to the vibes of a brand new year and reckons what the world needs to hear about from the beans is bodybuilders. It’s a well judged move and who better to pick the perfectly toned meat off this topic than three men who at any point in their lives could have tried a bit of bodybuilding or read about it or watched a bit on the the telly if they could have been arsed.With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

The beans convene an emergency Film Corner to watch James Cameron's latest visit to the alien paradise of Pandora.Film Corner episodes are usually Patreon-only. To join our Patreon visit http://www.patreon.com/threebeansalad