Maximize Your Influence

Many think that when they get into positions of leadership or prominence that others should be serving them or looking up to them. This is great way to turn people off and decrease your ability to be charismatic. If your only focus is on you, then eventually all then the focus will be off you. Sure others might run to your attention, but they are doing it for money or recognition, they are not doing it because of who you are. When you start to focus on others, show some kindness and offer goodwill, offer some charity, and the focus will return to you. When you look for the good in others you become better yourself. When you start looking for ways to serve, not only do you open the doors to influence, it increases your well being and your happiness. You demonstrate goodwill by focusing on positives and being careful with the negatives. Don't be harsh or forceful when dealing with people. Remember most people can be highly sensitive or feel overly vulnerable. (Remember esteem) Watch your statements and your actions and always show that you have the audience's best interest in mind. Never criticize someone unless you really need to and do it the right way. Criticism damages your relationship and destroys the connection you have with them and hurts your charisma. Instead, find something positive and show goodwill. This will increase acceptance and self-confidence. Many times we correct or criticize in the wrong way and this destroys the possibility for leadership, loyalty and charisma. Anytime someone feels stupid or you are perceived as inconsiderate and your ability to lead or influence diminishes. Little do most people know that their comments cause rebellion and resentment. Show you care, show some goodwill and you automatically will transfer charisma. A big part of goodwill is the mindset of abundance. Abundance is a state of mind that allows you to give knowing that the universe will reward you. You don't do it for the reward, you do it because it is the right thing to do. As author Stephen Covey said "the abundance mentality (which) flows out of a deep inner sense of personal worth and security. It is the paradigm that there is plenty out there and enough to spare for everybody.... It opens possibilities, options, alternatives, and creativity." You know that when you give of your time, money or even skills that it is not only the right thing to do, it increases your abundance, your health and your happiness and your charisma. Get past the scarcity mentality society has given you and see the abundance the world has to offer. Realize we are all on the same human team and we all have different strengths and weaknesses. Always be willing to share your strengths and someone will appear to help you with your weaknesses. Article link:https://www.fastcompany.com/3035120/4-steps-to-overcoming-failure-and-using-it-to-your-advanta

Passion is very contagious. When you transfer this passion, the people around you start to radiate that passion. They perform better, if it is at work, it is no longer work. They become more proactive, more willing to work as a team and become more optimistic. When you have tapped into this passion you become more determined and it increases your persistence. It starts to become a burning desire and consumes you and it radiates to others. A word of caution, just because you are passionate does not mean you can forego learning the skills you need to be successful. It is a critical piece of the charisma pie, but you still need more pieces of the pie to radiate powerful long-term charisma. More than anything else, passion recruits the hearts and minds of your audience. Charismatics radiate heartfelt passion. When the audience can sense your passion and sincere conviction for your cause, they will emotionally jump on board. We all love people who are excited and filled with believable passion for their subject. Passion is critical to influencing others and transmitting charisma. When you have passion for something, you want to let everyone know about it. You want to convert as many people to your cause as possible, and when someone disagrees with you, you are not swayed by their opinions or advice. PS Remember to test out your personal pics. The website we talked about was Photofeeler.com Article Link: http://www.upi.com/Science_News/2017/04/14/Science-says-Let-a-stranger-pick-your-profile-picture/8781492196442/

Rapport: The Instant Connection Rapport is the secret ingredient that makes us feel a harmonious link with someone else. It is equivalent to being on the same wavelength with the other person. Rapport is the key that makes mutual trust materialize. Have you ever met a perfect stranger and just hit it off? Finding plenty to talk about, you almost felt as if you had met before. It just felt right. You could talk about practically anything and you lost track of time. You developed such a strong bond with that person that you knew what he was going to say. Everything just clicked between the two of you and you felt a connection with this person. You felt your ideas were in sync and you enjoyed your time with each other. This is rapport. In our discussion of rapport, we are going to elaborate on these concepts: humor, body language, touch and mirroring. Mastering these skills will help you to develop rapport faster. Humor Humor can be a powerful tool to create rapport. Humor makes the persuader seem more friendly and accepting. Humor helps gain attention, helps you create rapport, and makes your message more memorable. It can relieve tension, enhance relationships, and motivate people. Appropriate use of humor increases trust in your audience. Humor can also distract your audience from negative arguments or grab their attention if they are not listening. Humor diverts attention away from the negative context of a message, thereby interfering with the ability of listeners to carefully scrutinize it or engage in counterarguments. If listeners are laughing at the jokes, they may pay less attention to the content of a message. Humor can "soften up" or disarm listeners. Humor connects you with your audience and increases their attention to your message. Humor must be used cautiously, however. If used inappropriately, it can be offensive and may cause your audience to turn against you. Humor should only be used as a pleasant, but moderate distraction. As a rule of thumb, if you are generally not good at telling jokes, don't attempt it. Be sure that you have good material. Nonfunny humor is not only ineffective, but irritating. Modify your humor so that it is appropriate for your audience. Smile Another aspect of humor is the smile. A smile is free, generates a great first impression, and shows happiness, acceptance, and confidence. Your smile shows that you are pleased to be where you are, or happy to meet this person. As a result, they become more interested in meeting you. Smiling also conveys a feeling of acceptance, which makes your listener more trusting of you. It has been shown that sales representatives who smiled during the sales process increased their success rate by 20 percent. However, as with traditional humor, use a smile appropriately.

Similarity: Similar Is Familiar Similarity theory states that familiar objects are more liked than less familiar ones. The same holds true with people: We like people who are similar to us. This theory seems to hold true whether the commonality is in the area of opinions, personality traits, background, or lifestyle. I can remember walking in a foreign country, taking in the unfamiliar sights and sounds, and then running into someone from my own country. We could have been from opposites sides of the nation with nothing in common, but there was an instantaneous bond between us, all because we had something in common in a mutually unfamiliar place. Similarity is also true even in the judicial system. If jurors feel that they share some common ground with you and, better yet, like you—even subconsciously—for that similarity, then you will have a markedly better chance of winning your case. Anytime we establish something about ourselves that others will identify with, we increase our persuasive powers. In one particular study, antiwar demonstrators were more inclined to sign petitions of those similarly dressed, and often didn't even bother to read the petition before signing! Numerous studies conclude that your audience is most responsive to individuals who dress and act similar to them. Researchers McCroskey, Richmond, and Daly say there are four parts to similarity: attitude, morality, background, and appearance. Of the four similarity factors, attitudes and morals are always the most important. Power Persuaders are always looking for similarities or common beliefs to form the basis of common foundations with their prospects. We want to be persuaded by those who are like us and with whom we can relate. We see real-world examples of this in advertisements. We want to see people we can identify with, and the advertising execs accommodate us. When we see a particular commercial, we think, "Hey, he is just like me! He is also Broke! That couple has a messy, cluttered house, too." We see ads showing the average Joe or Jill because they create that similarity. Your audience will connect with you when they perceive the similarity. O'Keefe found two important points regarding similarity and persuasion. First, the similarity must be relevant to the subject or issue being persuaded. Second, to persuade someone, the similarities must involve positive rather than negative qualities. The bottom line is we are interpersonally connected to others when they possess similar values and beliefs.

Emotional States: Understanding Feelings and Moods Charismatic people know there is a fine line between logic and emotion. To influence someone you have to have both. Emotion will override logic every time. I am going to assume here (I know I shouldn't do that) you have the ability to form a logical argument. Emotion is the missing piece for most people that want to become more charismatic. Very few really know how emotional states, feelings, subconscious triggers and moods affect other people and affect (good and bad) your ability to maintain charisma and influence. Logic tends to be more temporary while emotion will carry your message into the future. Emotion inspires us to take action, but logic justifies those actions. We know it is difficult for most people to distinguish between logic and emotion. We know that is difficult to identify many of the emotions that are felt throughout a day. We know people can't forecast what emotions they will feel, how long they will feel it and how strong the emotion will be. Most people just sense if you or your message makes them feel good or feel bad. Your goal is to change or maintain their emotional state or mood. These are the emotions that will detract from your charisma and decrease your ability to influence. Anger Anger is a sign that something is out of line. Anger is also known as a secondary emotion. What they are angry about and really angry about are usually two different things. You can help decrease a person's anger by finding out the main reason they are upset. It is also useful to ask for their help, opinions, or advice. This will usually diffuse their anger or even help change their demeanor. Sometimes the person doing the influencing may want to use anger to make a certain point or to evoke a certain reaction. Worry When someone is worried or preoccupied with something occurring now or could happen in the future, your ability to change their mood or influence them declines. Worry could cause you to feel nervous, uneasy or anxious. Worry can be referred to as a negative vision of the future. Help them by bringing them back to reality. Worry will subside when you can substitute their negative images with positive ones. Another way worry decline is when you help them make a decision. Worry decreases with decisions. Fear Fear is anxiety or tension caused by danger or apprehension. The possibility of harm can be real, but it is usually an overactive imagination. Fear motivates us and moves us away from perceived unpleasant circumstances or certain danger. Logic rarely reduces fear. The key to understanding fear is to realize that is has been learned from a past experience. Remember that fear is very real to them. Make sure when they are in fear that you can provide a solution for them. Then your job as a great influencer is to help them feel capable of overcoming this fear.

That first thirty seconds with your audience are critical. How do you start? Great persuaders craft and design their message. There is no room to wing it. Your opening is where your audience formulates and settles into their impressions of you. Think of your opening or introduction as comprising no more than 10 percent of your full presentation. Budgeting your speech in this manner forces you to organize your time so that you know exactly what you're going to say and how you're going to say it. As you move from the opening of your presentation to the main body, it is helpful to remember the acronym TESS, which stands for testimonials, examples, statistics, and stories. Top persuaders tend to incorporate each of these elements into their presentations. Our research shows that when speaking to an audience, each point of TESS will resonate with different audience members. On average, TESS resonates as follows: Testimonials 12% Examples 23% Statistics 18% Stories 47% Testimonials. A testimonial is a person's statement or declaration of what they believe and assert to be true. In your presentation, it can be your own, or it can come from a third party. Testimonials are a source of social validation—people assume that if others believe in it, then they should too. Great persuaders know how to use testimonials when their credibility is low. Make sure your testimonials are believable and unbiased and that they are qualified for your audience. Examples. An example is an explanation or model that demonstrates or illustrates your point. Instead of just spouting off facts, examples make your points come alive. Examples reinforce your ideas and make them vivid and real in the mind of your audience. Examples can be taken from research studies, from articles you've read—and they can be personal anecdotes. Statistics. In a consumer climate that is increasingly skeptical, I recommend using statistics sparingly. Everyone knows that you can "cook the books" and find statistics to prove almost anything; your audience wants credible statistics. Statistics resonate with the logical mind, and when convincing, they are very persuasive. In particular, the analytical minds in your audience will love you and want to know the source. Most statistics need to be explained and often work best with visual aids. Stories. The most powerful of the four elements of TESS are stories. They draw your audience in while helping them understand and appreciate your message. I'm sure you can think of a time when you were in an audience, not paying much attention to the speaker. You were probably off in your own world, when all of a sudden, you perked up and started to listen because the speaker started telling a story. When we hear a story, we automatically tune in and want to know what happens next.

Structuring Persuasive Presentations Why should we be concerned with the structure of a persuasive presentation? Top predictor of professional success is how much you enjoy and how good you are at public speaking. Studies also show the ability to give presentations was ranked as the most critical skill needed to move up in today's business environment. Before we jump into the meat of this topic, remember as you prepare your persuasive message that you want to focus on one defined issue. You are not there to persuade on ten different points. Stay focused and steer clear of sensitive issues that aren't on your original agenda. In other words, don't inadvertently offend your audience on one issue when your focus in on another. The structure of your persuasive message should follow the pattern discussed below. Create Interest You have to generate an interest about your chosen topic. Your audience needs a reason to listen: Why should they care? What's in it for them? How can you help them? A message that starts with a really good reason to listen will grab the attention of the audience, enabling you to continue with the message. Without this attention, there is no hope of getting your message across. State the Problem You must clearly define the problem you are trying to solve. The best pattern for a persuasive presentation is to find a problem and relate how it affects the audience. In this way, you show them a problem they have and why it is of concern to them. Why is this a problem to your audience? Offer Evidence This is the support you give to your argument. Evidence validates your claims and offers proof that your argument is correct. It allows your audience to rely on other sources besides you. Evidence can include examples, statistics, testimonies, analogies, and any other supporting material used to enhance the integrity and congruency of your message. Present a Solution You have gained your audience's interest and provided evidence in support of your message; now you must solve their problem. You present the argument you want them to believe and satisfy the need you have identified or created. You have created dissonance and now you are providing the solution. How can your product meet their needs and wants and help them achieve their goals? Call to Action A persuasive message is not true persuasion if your audience does not know exactly what they need to do. Be specific and precise. In order to complete the solution to their problem, they must take action. This is the climax, the peak of your logic and emotion. The prescribed actions must be feasible. Make your call to action as easy as possible. Using this type of structure facilitates people's acceptance of your message and clarifies what you want them to do. We all have a logical side to our mind, which results in our need for order and arrangement. If we don't sense some sort of structure, we tend to become confused. If you can't be clear, concise, and orderly, your prospect will find someone else who is. Link to Article: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25811633

Paul Smith (Author) - Lead with a story and Sell with a story Leadwithastory.com Storytelling has come of age in the business world. Today, many of the most successful companies use storytelling as a leadership tool. At Nike, all senior executives are designated "corporate storytellers." 3M banned bullet points years ago and replaced them with a process of writing "strategic narratives." Procter & Gamble hired Hollywood directors to teach its executives storytelling techniques. Some forward-thinking business schools have even added storytelling courses to their management curriculum. The reason for this is simple: Stories have the ability to engage an audience the way logic and bullet points alone never could. Whether you are trying to communicate a vision, sell an idea, or inspire commitment, storytelling is a powerful business tool that can mean the difference between mediocre results and phenomenal success. Whether in a speech or a memo, communicated to one person or a thousand, storytelling is an essential skill for success. Paul Smith Paul Smith is one of the world's leading experts on organizational storytelling. He's a keynote speaker, storytelling coach, and author of the books Sell with a Story, Parenting with a Story, and the bestseller Lead with a Story already in its 8th printing and available in 6 language around the world. Paul is also a former consultant at Accenture and former executive and 20-year veteran of The Procter and Gamble Company.

Six stats on the importance of trust in influencer marketing "Only 22% of brands are trusted." (Havas Media) That's a frightening metric for any marketer. Without establishing trust between your brand and your audience, it's nearly impossible to market your product or service. So marketers are faced with the difficult question of how to create and maintain trust with their audience. "61% of women said they won't engage with an influencer's sponsored content if it doesn't feel genuine." (Bloglovin) Trust and authenticity are critical for engagement in any influencer campaign. Without trust, the content that you're hoping will build engagement won't feel genuine and won't resonate with your desired audience. Low trust equals low engagement, and a pattern of this can erode an influencer's audience over time. While this report references women specifically, these principles are applicable across the influencer marketing sphere. "43% of millennials rank authenticity over content when consuming news." (Forbes) According to a survey of 1,300 millennials carried out by Forbes, young people prioritise trusting a company or news site before they will look at any content it produces. As Dan Schawbel of Forbes wrote, "Millennials connect best with people over logos." If trust isn't established, millennials may not even interact with your content. An influencer can get a lot of attention, but the only attention that matters for your brand is authentic, genuine interaction that builds trust between you and the audience. "60% of YouTube subscribers say they would follow advice on what to buy from their favourite YouTube creator over a traditional celebrity." (TheYouTube Generation Study) Celebrity spokespeople have long been considered a surefire way to build positive associations for your brand among your target audience. H&R Block wants to establish trust with their audience, so they recruit Jon Hamm to be their spokesman. But savvy brands are turning to influencers on YouTube and other channels who have built audiences related to a shared set of interests. These placements are more authentic, and drive more brand-relevant recommendations than the generalized appeal of celebrity spots. "83% of consumers trust recommendations from their peers over advertising." (Nielsen) Consumers take recommendations from their peers much more favorably than the 'recommendations' they see in ads. They trust the opinions of their friends because they know they're both unbiased and providing recommendations that are personalized to the individual. Influencers fit this bill nicely. The best influencers turn down deals that don't have a natural fit in their feed and approach branded deals without bias. Either they already love a product and are happy to endorse it, or they agree to test the product and give an honest review or endorsement. If you find the right influencers whose personas fit your brand values, targeted to your area of interest, the recommendations they share are more personalized for their audiences. "54% of consumers believe the smaller the community, the bigger the influence." (Technorati) Although influencer marketing can help you reach a larger audience, ultimately, that audience doesn't matter if it's not the right audience. It is more valuable to show your brand to 30K likely buyers than it is to show it off to 200K totally uninterested viewers. Finding influencers whose content and style perfectly match your brand, no matter their follower level, is a much smarter strategy than just getting as many eyes as possible. Influencers with smaller followings may have a more relevant, engaged and trusting audience because they haven't "blown up" yet. Check the comment sections on a Kardashian-branded post and you'll see what I mean. To build trust with your audience, you don't need to reinvent the wheel. But you do need to foster trust between your brand and the influencer — trusting them to make content that will capture your brand values while also engaging their followers in the best way. You can take advantage of existing marketing principles to build a playbook to engage your audience. Make use of peer recommendations from authentic influencers to drive engagement with your brand. Brian Zuercher is CEO & Founder of SEEN, and a contributor to Search Engine Watch.

Proxemics: The Science of Space The anthropologist Edward T. Hall created the science of proxemics, which studies how people use, react to, configure, and occupy the space around them. We all want our own space, and we feel uncomfortable when people violate our personal territory. While it may sound overly obvious, research shows that many persuaders get too familiar, too fast. Disrespect for your audience's personal space—especially when you are first meeting them—will definitely not build rapport. Many persuaders don't even know that they are violating their audience's space. They may think, for example, that by reaching out and touching their audience members on the arm, they will be seen as warm and extending. Such as gesture may really be a turnoff, though. What does it feel like? Imagine that you go to a movie theatre and there are 150 seats but only ten people watching the movie. Social custom calls for everyone to spread out. Let's say you take your seat and the nearest person is twenty feet away. How would you feel if a stranger came and sat down right next to you in this theatre of empty seats? That would be a violation of your personal space. Understanding proxemics requires an understanding of territory and the role of dominance. The bigger office, the armrest on the airplane, the larger chair, sitting at the head of the conference table, getting into someone's face—all these things have hidden meanings. It could be unwanted touching or jumping into a conversation that damages likeability and rapport. Be observant. How is your use of space perceived by your audience? Always err on the side of giving extra space, instead of too little. Does the science of proxemics really matter? The distance you keep or don't keep when persuading someone communicates a message. Great persuaders understand rapport and interpersonal communication, and they respect personal space. You will find that the amount of space between a person and a persuader affects the way they are able to interact with each other and what message their interaction sends. When we sit at a table or across from a desk, we each draw invisible lines of our perceived personal space. When these invisible territorial lines are violated, tension is created. We all have regions or areas where we permit others to enter or prevent others from entering. Great persuaders recognize when an invitation to enter their audience's private zone is being extended. Your audience's intimate area is not to be violated by you, the persuader. In North America, that area extends from your audience's face out to about twenty-four inches. Most social interaction takes place between four and twelve feet of distance. This personal space preference not only varies by individual but also by culture. For example, in the Middle East or Latin America, it is reduced by almost 50 percent.37 In Germany, on the other hand, the space is larger. It is comedic to watch two people from two different cultures trying to communicate. One is violating the other's personal space, while the other is backing up in an attempt to regain his personal space. The two are in some sort of dance to maintain and regain comfortable communication space. Article:http://captology.stanford.edu/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/RSA-The-new-rules-of-persuasion.pdf