At Peace Parents Podcast

Dr. Alex Klein, a clinical psychologist and parent with lived PDA and ADHD experience, joins to debunk myths about Pathological Demand Avoidance. They discuss why lowering demands can help regulation. They explore how behaviors often mask nervous-system stress, why past success may not predict today’s capacity, and why accommodations support independence rather than coddling.

Practical strategies for potty training children and teens who show demand avoidance. A candid training story that reveals why certain approaches worked. Ten specific tips focused on timing, sensory supports, autonomy, playfulness, and knowing when to pause.

A grandmother's struggle to get her PDA autistic grandson to a pediatric visit. Strategies for balancing medication needs with preserving trust. Brainstormed gentle prep, indirect communication and using his elevator interest as leverage. Planned non-restraint first with a clear backup and post-visit repair steps.

Practical strategies for wiping, accidents, constipation and toileting outside the toilet are discussed. The conversation uses a PDA and nervous-system lens to reduce shame and pressure. There are concrete caregiving tips, cleanup hacks, and accommodation ideas like pull-ups and outdoor peeing. Emphasis is on lowering demands, reading nervous-system signals, and gentle decision-making for care.

A three-part deep dive into toileting with PDA, focusing on long-term thinking rather than quick fixes. It covers common toilet challenges like wiping, holding, constipation, and accidents. The conversation reframes toileting as a stress response tied to autonomy and burnout. Practical accommodation ideas and a simple tracking approach are offered to watch gradual change over months.

Charlie, a parent of a 4½-year-old suspected PDA child and a 10-month-old, shares their recent parenting shift after learning about PDA. They discuss starting PDA-informed changes, choosing immediate boundaries like safety, sleep, and bathing, handling equalizing aggression toward the baby, and experimenting with flexible routines while accepting limits and small wins.

In this engaging conversation, Sorcha Rice, an occupational therapist and clinical manager at Neurodiversity Ireland, opens up about her experiences as someone identifying as AuDHD with a PDA profile. She dives into the intricacies of PDA and how it manifests in the body, reflecting on her own childhood and the journey through burnout and recovery. Sorcha emphasizes the importance of creating safe spaces for neurodivergent children and the need for flexibility in occupational therapy. Her insights on regulation and supportive practices are both enlightening and inspiring!

A mom shares her struggle with her six-year-old's refusal to eat due to a loose tooth. The discussion highlights how losing autonomy can deeply affect children with PDA. Creative solutions like offering a variety of food options and using novel drinking vessels are explored. Tips on fostering autonomy while keeping demands low are shared, including the importance of nonverbal safety signals and humor. Overall, the conversation emphasizes collaborative family strategies to manage these challenging moments.

Here's part 2 of my episode on the 10 hardest lessons I learned in 2025. They include:6 - Your PDA child can go into burnout even if you're fully accommodating them.7 - Burnout can feel like you are making no progress, especially with an internalizer.8 - Screens can be a wonderful thing.9 - Your kids will surprise you.10 - Spirituality sustained me.xoxo,Casey

Happy New Year! I'm kicking off 2026 by sharing the 10 hardest lessons I learned parenting my PDAers (often the hard way) in 2025. The first five are in this episode:1 - There are some things in life you can't outsource2 - The key to sanity is accepting constraints and finding agency within them3 - Doubt about PDA is the antidote to dogma4 - The importance of trusting yourself in the face of judgement5 - Burnout with trauma is different than burnout without traumaxo,Casey