Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

This episode is about getting over feeling lost, and getting yourself unstuck. During the coaching session with Lena, we uncover some past trauma and guilt which is causing her to feel as if she is living in a black hole. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode88] If you can identify with Lena and are feeling stuck yourself, know that you are headed in the right direction towards getting yourself unstuck. Some people just go through life just going through the motions, and not being inspired. If you are aware of it, you are more likely to discover the trigger, and move past it. If you are a coach, take note of the question I asked Lena when she said she had been doing some personal growth work. Find out what your client's awareness level is, by asking them what personal growth work they have been doing. This helps you avoid telling them something they already know. Also, notice how I reacted when she told me she had cheated, in contrast to my reaction when she divulged the traumatic experience with her father. I acknowledged Lena for her vulnerability, and responded neutrally to the incident, because she already felt shame around it. But, my response to her traumatic experience let her know it was a big deal, and was the cause of her feeling lost. When something traumatic or scary happens, we go into survival mode and we disconnect. We suppress the emotional response because we didn't know how to deal with it. I recommended Lena look into Somatic therapy to help her overcome her past trauma. My Inner Circle Membership Community is an eclectic community where anyone can find a home. Transformations and bonds are created by people sharing and connecting with each other. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com about joining. Or, ask Jill about a private one-on-one session. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Do you feel lost, stuck, or just blah? ● Is there a situation from your past you haven't fully processed? Maybe you hoped time would heal the wound, but you never really dealt with the issue. ● Are you questioning a relationship you are currently in? Lena's Question: Lena wants to know how to get out of her "black hole," and get unstuck from her current feelings of discomfort. Lena's Key Insights and Ahas: ● She was scared by the actions of her father, and felt he turned his back on her. ● She feels guilty about the breakup with her ex-boyfriend. ● She suppressed her feelings of trauma, fear, and guilt. ● She has lost herself. ● She doesn't want to be in her current relationship. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She should work with a Somatic therapist to deal with her trauma. ● She should stop compromising in her current relationship and show up authentically. Takeaways: ● Is there anything you haven't forgiven yourself for, or a reason you may be punishing yourself? Where do you think you did something wrong? Why do you think you can't have what you want? ● Get Expectation Hangover and do the Release Writing or Temper Tantrum techniques to help you get unstuck. ● Google Somatic Therapy to learn more about it. It may be helpful in your getting over a trauma from the past. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler Inner Circle Membership Community Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Jill@Christinehassler.com

Listen in as Christine answers the most common questions she gets: How do I have more energy? Also how do we stop taking on other people's stuff? And how do we go out and engage in our daily lives without feeling depleted? Don't miss this quickie tip!!

This episode is about overcoming the fear of success and the fear of failure. During the coaching session with Becca, it is clear she intellectually knows what she needs to do to build her business, but she can't commit to doing it. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode87] Everyone defines fear and success differently, but usually our fear of success has to do with being seen more, feeling unsafe, feeling more responsibility for changing, or changing or losing ourselves in some way. Our fear of failure normally has something to do with rejection, loss of money, or status, or security, judgment from others, or our own self-criticism that we endure if we fail. So, how do we overcome these fears? It's about more than taking action steps towards your goals. Maybe, you have tried to overcome it by just doing whatever it is. But, until you upgrade the beliefs and old triggers, which perpetuate the fear, you will continue to find yourself in your own way. Many people think money will make them feel better about themselves or make them more confident. But it doesn't — confidence is an inside job. We can't create self-worth from money, but we can create net worth from self-worth. When we have self-worth and do the internal work, we express our gifts and align with our higher purpose. We are then able to attract money to us. It is important for us to have a wealth consciousness. Aubrey Marcus and I are facilitating a 3-day retreat in Austin, Texas over Memorial Day weekend for men and women. The focus of the retreat is Love: Practice Makes the Master. There will be yoga, breathing exercises, ecstatic dance and more. Come and become part of the tribe. My Inner Circle Membership Community is an eclectic community where anyone can find a home. Transformations and bonds are created by people sharing and connecting with each other. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com about joining. Or, ask Jill about a private one-on-one session. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● What are your fears around failure or success? Do you know what to do when it comes to your business, but you aren't doing it? ● Is there a part of you that has longed to fit in? ● Do you feel guilty if you have too much good in your life? Becca's Question: Becca is about to start a new quest but she finds herself unable to get started. Becca's Key Insights and Ahas: ● She didn't like growing up privileged. ● Cooking is her way of connecting to people. ● Guilt and shame were at the core of her eating disorder. ● She enjoyed having a secret, which was her eating disorder. ● She has an unhealthy relationship with money and success. ● Her guilt prevents her from stepping into her passion. ● She is scared not to have connections with people. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She needs a new image of what success and wealth look like. ● She should write out her new definition of fitting in, and her definition of success. ● She needs to give herself a feeling of longing and connection. ● She needs to work on feeling grateful. ● She should get a business coach. Takeaways: ● Write out your new definitions of success and failure. Get clear about how you want to define success. ● Write out your worst-case scenarios around success and failure. ● Identify the payoff of your negative emotions and find a way to get the payoff in a positive way. ● If you are starting a business, invest in a coach to help hold you accountable. Sponsor: Audible — Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial with this link. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler Inner Circle Membership Community Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Jill@Christinehassler.com Love: Practice Makes the Master Retreat Sean Croxton Sessions Quote of the Day Show with Sean Croxton

Listen in as Christine gives you the cure for comparison and jealousy. This advice is transformational if you implement it (and is way more effective than just attempting to "stop comparing!"). If you use this advice, you will see how comparison can actually be a very wonderful thing.

This episode is about becoming a loving parent to ourselves. My coaching session with Joanne is a beautiful example of how important it is to give ourselves the love or attention we did not receive from our parents. Even if you had super loving and attentive parents, you should still be giving yourself the same kind of love. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode86] A lot of people believe they can heal the wounds from their own childhood by being a different kind of parent than they had. And while breaking generational patterns is incredibly valuable, it is only 50% of how we heal. We must mother or father ourselves with the same unconditional love and attention we give our children. Two things often come up as blocks when we attempt to take quiet time for ourselves. One, the guilt or expectation that we should be doing other things that are "more productive." Two, feelings we may not want to deal with can surface when we take quiet, meditative time. People who have children sometimes say, "My children are my teachers." When you have children it is common for things from your childhood to be triggered. Suppressed or forgotten memories start to come forward. It is important for parents to acknowledge there may be something for them to learn from it. Aubrey Marcus and I are facilitating a 3-day retreat in Austin, Texas over Memorial Day weekend for men and women. The focus of the retreat is Love: Practice Makes the Master. There will be yoga, breathing exercises, ecstatic dance and more. Come and become part of the tribe. My Inner Circle Membership Community is an eclectic community where anyone can find a home. Transformations and bonds are created by people sharing and connecting with each other. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com about joining. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● What kind of parent are you to yourself? Would you talk to or treat a child the way you talk to or treat yourself? ● How did you feel loved and nurtured by your parents? Are you giving the love and nurturing to yourself? ● How did you not feel loved and nurtured? How can you start giving that to yourself? ● When it comes to self-care and making time for yourself, do you find other 'to-dos' take priority? Joanne's Question: Joanne finds it challenging to provide herself self-care on a routine basis. She continually gives other things priority over her self-care. Joanne's Key Insights and Ahas: ● She's aware of how important self-care is. ● She feels mom guilt when she is not spending time with her baby. ● She is mirroring a pattern her mom had when she was growing up. ● She wanted love, attention and acceptance from her mother. ● She broke generational patterns. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She needs to mother herself in a way she wasn't mothered as a child. ● She needs to acknowledge herself for the mother she is. ● She should talk to baby Joanne and be with her in a mothering way. Takeaways: ● Make 'you time' a priority, and leave a space open for your feelings to come forward. Suppressing your feelings through distraction will eventually wear out. ● Give yourself the love you crave from your parents, or that you got from your parents. ● If there are issues from your parents to be addressed, write them a forgiveness letter and let them off the hook. ● Have a conversation with your younger self, and tell them anything you yearned to hear from mom or dad but didn't. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Expectation Hangover Inner Circle Membership Community Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Jill@Christinehassler.com Love: Practice Makes the Master Retreat University of Santa Monica

Christine responds to questions from listeners. The first topic is around how to set healthy boundaries and break toxic patterns with family members. The second question is regarding whether avoiding disappointment is possible. Listen in as Christine talks about dealing with "Expectation Hangovers" and how to purse goals without setting yourself up for a let down. Links: Join Christine and Aubrey Marcus for a retreat open to men and women: LOVE, PRACTICE MAKES THE MASTER. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/love-practice-makes-the-master-tickets-33443861490 Dealing with disappointment? Want to learn how to transform what Christine calls an "Expectation Hangover" into a massive opportunity for growth? Be sure to get her latest book here:https://www.amazon.com/Expectation-Hangover-Overcoming-Disappointment-Work/dp/1608682412

This episode is about taking steps towards your dream. Today's caller, Daniel, is passionate, and his enthusiasm is contagious when he talks about his music. When he deviates from his dream to take jobs just to pay the bills, he gets depressed. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode85] I like to say, dreams are actually our inner psychic knowing what is to come to us. Things we feel called to, from our heart. How do we know what is coming from our hearts and what is coming from our ego? Get clear about it by reading my What's the Difference Between Sacrifice and Compromise? Vlog post. Our head has wants; our heart has desires. When we are not listening to our heart or we are not pursuing the things we love, a part of us may start engaging in self-sabotaging behavior. It's important to not have the soul sucked out of us. Feed your soul and do things to fulfill your creativity and your passion. Don't let anything suck the soul out of you! Aubrey Marcus and I are facilitating a 3-day retreat in Austin, Texas over Memorial Day weekend for men and women. If you don't know Aubrey, go back and listen to the Coaches Corner, Go For Your Win. He is a seeker who appreciates consciousness above all else. The focus of the retreat is Love: Practice Makes the Master. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● What are your dreams? Are you giving yourself permission to pursue them? ● Have other people's doubts or comments about your dreams prevented you from listening to your own inner guidance? ● Do you have a limiting belief that you are too old, too unqualified, or too poor to go after what you want? ● If you are in pursuit of a dream, are you actively and consistently taking steps toward it? Daniel's Question: Daniel wants to know which action steps he should take to pursue his dreams. Daniel's Key Insights and Ahas: ● He feels pressure to get a regular job. ● He is a perfectionist. ● He doesn't know if he is practical or irrational. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● He should go for it 100%; get his work out there, and identify people to emulate. ● He should put together a demo reel. ● He should hustle for a year before making a decision about additional schooling. ● He should compose his personal mantra. Action Steps: ● What is your dream? ● Are you going after your dream? If not, why not? What is your excuse? ● What is one action step you can take to move toward it? ● Post your action step as a comment to the show notes so that I may root you on! Resources: Christine Hassler What's the Difference Between Sacrifice and Compromise vlog post Christine Hassler Podcasts Expectation Hangover Inner Circle Membership Community Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Jill@Christinehassler.com Love: Practice Makes the Master Retreat Upwork Elance

Listen to this reassuring message from Christine that will remind you of the truth of who you are.

This episode is about not feeling good enough. Today's caller, Jen, knows it is not good to believe she is not good enough, but she feels her problem is insurmountable. The essence of who Jen is isn't broken, it's just a pattern she's comfortable in. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode84] Jen is experiencing a limiting belief. It shows up in a variety of ways, like her feeling not deserving, feeling broken, or not being lovable. It can lead to insecurity, people pleasing, body image issues, eating disorders, and accepting dysfunctional relationships. During the call, I allow Jen to go on for a while because I am waiting for her to ask for help. For those of you who are being coached or in therapy — If you are more committed to keeping your story than to truly letting go of it, you are uncoachable. We all get attached to our limiting beliefs, because they are familiar, comfortable, and often get us the attention we are seeking and the validation or sympathy for how hard life is. There is merit to discussing our past, and healing memories. But, we must do it with vulnerability, compassion, and forgiveness so we can let it go, to get over it and on with what we want to create. Awareness without action is merely psychological entertainment. Aubrey Marcus and I are facilitating a 3-day retreat in Austin, Texas over Memorial Day weekend. If you don't know Aubrey go back and listen to the Coaches Corner, Go For Your Win. He is a seeker who appreciates consciousness above all else. The focus of the retreat is becoming masterful at love. Sign up for this incredible retreat. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com about joining my Inner Circle membership community. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Do you struggle with not feeling good enough? Do you doubt you are worthy or capable of having the things you truly want? ● When you get close to the things you want, do you often sabotage it or doubt you can keep it? ● Do you make your 'enoughness' conditional? Jen's Question: Jen wants to know how to move past her past traumas, and change her narrative. Jen's Key Insights and Ahas: ● She is holding on to an old pattern because it's comfortable. ● She believes her failed relationships and loss of friends is her fault. ● She withdraws and isolates herself. ● She gets her value from external validation. ● She is not seeing her life accurately. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She needs to commit to shifting and interrupting her ingrained patterns. ● She can stop her thoughts of not being good enough, and create a new neural net. ● She should take a lesson from the children she works with. ● She should get a photo of her younger self and talk to it. ● She should create of voice memo of positive sayings to herself. Assignments: ● How attached are you to your story? Stop telling your sob story. ● Practice release writing to release emotions. ● Stop your thoughts and redirect them with the help of the 'Whoaing' technique in Expectation Hangover. ● Get a picture of your little one and use it as a way to generate love and self-acceptance. Sponsor: Audible — Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Expectation Hangover Inner Circle Membership Community Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Jill@Christinehassler.com Love: Practice Makes the Master Retreat

Jennifer is a therapist who is feeling physically depleted after working with clients. Christine gives her best tips for protecting her energy and serving people in a way that is energizing, not depleting. James is 54 years old and has worked at the same office job for three decades. He is interested in shifting to becoming self-employed but is disappointed he has not been able to get his new career off the ground. Listen in as Christine addresses both these topics. Links mentioned: Love: Practice Makes the Master! Join Christine and Aubrey Marcus for an empowering and transformational retreat in Austin. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/love-practice-makes-the-master-tickets-33443861490 EP 83: Letting Go of Parental "Mistakes" with Cathy. Make sure to listen to this episode to hear Christine talk about the difference between sympathy and compassion.h christinehassler.com/2017/04/episode83/