Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

This is MUST listen episode. I've been wanting to bring on an expert to talk about the psychological and emotional issues surrounding racism as well as give guidance to overcome the guilt, shame, and trauma so many people are experiencing. I am thrilled that I found April Dawn Harter who joins me to break down what actually causes and perpetuates racism and how to heal it. April is a former medical social worker, where she provided counseling to her patients and their family members to help them cope with the trauma of medical emergencies in the state of Texas. She later moved to Colorado and started her private practice to serve QTPOC patients with a history of racial trauma. After having worked with QTPOC, she decided to help prevent racism in society by working with white clients as a coach using the Racist Signature Theory. Finally, she opened up the Racism Recovery Center to provide psychotherapy for the treatment of racism. You can learn more here: https://www.racismrecoverycenter.com/

This call is about doing deep inner child work. Today's caller, Anna, is being blocked by a defense mechanism and doesn't feel she is making progress in her personal development work. We talk about how she can come back to love and remove judgment. It is useful to reach out externally for support, however, we have to be our own internal support as well. The help she needs will come from within. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode252] When you feel you are backtracking in your personal development, know that what is really happening is that a trigger is exposing a deeper layer so you can go to a deeper level of healing and love. Our behaviors, coping strategies, and our defense mechanisms are all there to protect us from hurt and confirm our biases. People who have low self-worth and think their value comes from doing will be very critical of themselves and will constantly try to do and create a result. When our 'come from' is "I'm broken," "I hope this fixes me," or "something is wrong with me," it slows down our healing because the energy that our personal development is riding on is judgment rather than love. As we learn to meet our own needs and tend to the little one inside of us and make the place inside of us that feels not enough, or not worthy, make it known that our needs ARE valuable and worthy. And, as we realize our needs are valuable and worthy, we then unconsciously train other people about how to meet our needs better and we are able to consciously ask people to meet our needs better. Are you being called to lead, love, or make a difference? Join me and Stefanos for our Love Amplified Live retreat in Austin, Sept 24–27. This retreat is all about the love of self, love of others, and love of your higher power. There will be workshops, breathwork, and partner breakouts. Come, share, and grow. Get more information at ChristineHassler.com/retreat. The last weekend of August, we are offering a Virtual Inner Child Workshop. This event is for those ready to do deep, internal work. Visit ChristineHassler.com/innerchild or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com. If you can't attend the workshop in its entirety you will have access to it for 30-days. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you feel like you're backtracking or not making progress in terms of your personal development? Do you experience great frustration with your life, work, relationships, or where you live? Growing up, did you feel like your needs were met? Did you feel like your parents understood you, saw you, and knew how to meet your needs? When it comes to yourself and your path, do you approach it with love, compassion, and acceptance, or with judgment and frustration? Anna's Question: Anna feels that time is passing in her life but she isn't making any progress; she would like guidance on how to move forward. Anna's Key Insights and Ahas: She feels she is not making progress in life. She feels other people judge her. She is unhappy in her work, community, and relationships. Her parents were emotionally unavailable. She gets depressed when she is not accomplishing things. She felt her needs didn't matter and couldn't be met. She has consistently searched externally to get her needs met. She helped raise a family member. She feels angry and hurt that her parents weren't there for her. She has built a wall around her heart. She adopted self-criticism as a defense mechanism. She is not broken. How to Get Over It and On With It: Realize she is the only one that can meet her needs. Deeply connect with her little girl and feel her feelings. Reflect internally without judgment and support and trust herself. Takeaways: Look at your 'come from' in your personal development. Up your self-compassion and talk to that little one inside. Join us in August for the Inner Child Workshop. Think of how you'd be with a child or animal. How would you meet their needs? How would you anticipate their needs? Use this to access how to meet your own needs. Acknowledge your progress. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Remit Sethi is the author of the NYT bestseller "I Will Teach You How to Be Rich" and is known as a financial guru to millions. He is an expert on teaching how to break through psychological money blocks so you can live a rich life. In this episode Ramit shares some incredible tips for how to get out of panic around money during this stressful time as well as advice for how to lead a "rich" life (and you get to define what "rich" means to you!). Learn more about Ramit at: https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/

This call is about personal growth and the effect it may have on a long-term relationship. Today's caller, Sara, is working through her past trauma and childhood wounds and making a connection with her inner child. But, her relationship with her husband is not shifting. She is wondering if it is a relationship dynamic that will adjust. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode251] Even though the person who is doing more growth work and has more consciousness in a relationship has more responsibility, we can never change anyone through our love. However, if we break the issue-based dynamic we are in with someone then it presents an opportunity for them to break free of their patterns and maybe deal with some of their stuff. Our love cannot save anyone, change anyone, or heal anyone. That is a job we have to do ourselves. We are all 100% responsible for changing, healing, and inspiring ourselves. If we try to get someone to change, we are continuing to involve ourselves in the relational dynamic which perpetuates the unhealthy patterns and childhood wounding. Healing doesn't come from trying to change another person. It comes from doing your own work within the context of a relationship. Most of our wounding happens in a relationship and most of our wounding can be healed in a relationship. If you are in a relationship and would like a couples coaching call on this podcast go to ChristineHassler.com/couples. Are you being called to lead, love, or make a difference? Join me and Stefanos for our Love Amplified Live retreat in Austin, Sept 24–27. This retreat is all about the love of self, love of others, and love of your higher power. There will be workshops, breathwork, and partner breakouts. Come, share, and grow. Get more information at ChristineHassler.com/retreat. At the end of August, we are offering a Virtual Inner Child Workshop. Visit ChristineHassler.com/innerchild. If you can't tune in for the workshop in its entirety you will have access to it for 30-days. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you still dealing with the pain of a chaotic or traumatic childhood? Have you been doing a lot of personal growth work and now you're concerned that you may have outgrown your partner? Do you feel your relationship has an expiration date? Do you really want your partner to change and you're doing everything you can to get him or her to change? Sara's Question: Sara is making significant changes in her life and is looking for more intimacy and connection in her relationship. Sara's Key Insights and Ahas: She has been making personal development breakthroughs. She is open to change and doing new things. She is looking for connection and intimacy from her relationship. Her husband has a different love language. She needs to feel safe in a relationship. There has been gaslighting in her childhood and marriage. She is in an issue-based relationship. She has an anxious attachment style. She has an emotional addiction of going into Hopeless/Helpless. She is in a soul contract. How to Get Over It and On With It: Couples coaching is helpful. Take care of little Sara, reassure her, and give herself what she needs. Love her husband for exactly who he is. Lead her relationship with love. Try interrupting rigid patterns with humor and lightness. Takeaways: If you are in a partnership where you are growing but you don't think your partner is, instead of thinking you need to leave, give it your all unless the relationship is toxic. Talk to the little boy or girl inside of you, ask them what they need, and give it to them. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

You'll love Christine's discussion with energy reader, medium, empath and energy coach Alea Lovely. Alea uses her empathic and intuitive gifts to help people discover and move past their blocks. She also hosts an amazing podcast "Spiritual Sh*t" where she interviews guests and shares her compassion and wisdom. You can learn more about Alea and her services here: https://thelovelyalea.com/bio

This call is about realizing the freedom of being your authentic self and setting boundaries. Today's caller, Rhonda, is used to putting other people first but she wants deeper, more authentic relationships. She feels stuck in the limiting beliefs and fears of her childhood. We work through her gift of discernment and how she can give her authentic self an outlet. It's a perfect conversation for what is going on collectively right now. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode250] To some degree, I think we are people pleasers or at least invested in making sure other people like us a large percentage of the time. But, more and more, we're living in a world where that simply doesn't work. It doesn't work because it stifles our authentic expression and it also doesn't work because we have too many people pleasers and not enough changemakers. How can we create a better world if we are afraid of upsetting other people? A great leader cares more about the truth then people's feelings. It's not a permission slip to be a jerk, however sometimes the truth does hurt, and that's okay. We have to be willing to receive the truth, allow it to sting a little bit but then go, all right what can I learn. And, we have to be willing to give the truth and be okay if people are upset with us. It's okay, their upset is their responsibility. Your responsibility is to speak the truth with love. We need people who see injustices and call them out. If you are feeling stuck, reframe it. You are not stuck. You are waking up. You may be in a bit of uncertainty because you are breaking free of old patterns but you are not stuck! Are you being called to lead, love, or make a difference? Join me and Stefanos for our Love Amplified retreat in Austin, Sept 24-27. This retreat is all about the love of self, love of others, and love of your higher power. There will be workshops, breathwork, and partner breakouts. Come, share, and grow. Get more information at ChristineHassler.com/retreat. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you a people pleaser? Are you often more concerned with being liked and having people be okay than you are with actually speaking your truth? Did you grow up in a home where you had to take care of your parents and parent them so they were happy and your own needs weren't met? If you are a parent, are you able to be Mama or Papa Bear to your child but often have trouble giving yourself that same fierce love? Do you have the gift of discernment but you often don't speak up and use your gift to be able to see the truth? And, are you willing to make the truth more important than the need to be liked? Rhonda's Question: Rhonda feels stuck in people-pleasing mode. She wants deeper relationships where she can truly be seen. Rhonda's Key Insights and Ahas: She doesn't feel lovable or let people love her. She is driven to please other people. She feels tired and wants to regain her energy. In her childhood, she felt the need to make peace between her parents. She is waking up from a limiting belief about her worthiness. She wants to be her authentic self. She is passionate about her children. She supported her son through his cancer treatments. She feels powerful and strong. She is going through marriage therapy. She is aware when other people take advantage. She doesn't want to hurt people. She has the gift of discernment. How to Get Over It and On With It: Let go of the belief that she is stuck. Connect with her inner child and provide the unconditional love, trust, and validation she is seeking through people-pleasing. Use her gift of discernment and access the part of herself that is committed to love, life, and connection. Discover things she is passionate about. Speak up for her wants and needs with truth and love. Give her authentic self an outlet. Speak with her husband about her love for him. Takeaways: Speak the truth. Look at your relationships — where do you need to set boundaries or reinforce them? Find the fierce warrior inside of you and give support to the little boy or a little girl inside of you. For help finding your voice, check out my Love Amplified retreat. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Christine chats with longtime friend and colleague, Mike Robbins about how to learn, grow, and just be an overall better human. His new book WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER: Creating a Team Culture of High Performance, Trust, and Belonging is incredibly timely. For the past 20 years, he's been a sought-after speaker and consultant who delivers keynotes and seminars for some of the top organizations in the world. He and his work have been featured in the New York Times and the Harvard Business Review, as well as on NPR and ABC News. He's a regular contributor to Forbes, hosts his own podcast (called We're All in This Together), and his books have been translated into 15 different languages.

This incredibly touching call is about forgiveness and letting go of guilt. Today's caller, Lynn, feels she was partially responsible for her son's death and wants to be free of the guilt so she can mourn his passing. Lynn is very brave to be vulnerable and share her story. In this session, we work through a tough topic, especially for mothers. Be prepared. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode249] When something happens, we can blame ourselves so much that we become the judge and the jury that crucifies us. We can get stuck in a thick soup of guilt. And, when we have a big trauma, like the passing of someone, we can think that we're only upset about that event especially when it is something big like losing a child. However, most traumas, massive expectation hangovers, or losses trigger past things that made us feel in similar ways. We can get stuck in a loop that we can't get out of in terms of the guilt cycle. It's difficult to process grief when you are stuck in guilt. Grief is hard and when we add guilt to it, it can feel unsurmountable. When you lose someone, especially a child, I don't know that the pain ever goes away. However, going through the grief process helps to heal it enough for you to be able to move forward. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you suffer from guilt? Have you done something and you think that you did something terribly wrong and you just can't forgive yourself, even if it's years later? Are you a parent, especially a mother, who thinks no matter what you do you are never doing enough? Have you had a break up that you never really got over? Specifically a break up where you were left for another person? Do you know things spiritually but have a hard time accepting them on a human level? Lynn's Question: Lynn has been grieving over her son's death but hasn't been able to forgive herself for his suffering. Lynn's Key Insights and Ahas: She feels divided between her emotional and spiritual self. She is stuck in feelings of grief, guilt, and regret. She sought help from grief groups and through multiple healing techniques. Her son was the victim of a violent crime. She feels she should have done more to help her son. Her ex-husband left her and their three children for another woman. She may be keeping her son's memory alive through her guilt and shame. She has a limiting belief that she could have done better as a mom. She wants to be free of the guilt so she can mourn her son. She doesn't feel supported in her current marriage. How to Get Over It and On With It: Do deep forgiveness work and process anger from her past. Give herself permission to open her heart and to be happy again. Resist punishing herself. Takeaways: If you are feeling guilty about something, do some journaling. Ask yourself, 'What is this bringing up from my past that I need to forgive myself for?' Forgive yourself for buying into any judgments you have made against yourself. Mothers, it's OK to have boundaries with your children. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Mindset coach and clinical therapist Topsie Vandenbosch joins Christine to talk about how to have a healthier mindset. We talk about getting out of unhealthy situations, getting over imposter syndrome and Topsie works with female entrepreneurs who are str

This call is about identifying what is blocking you from stepping into your power. Today's caller, Ram, has something to say but fears the judgment of others. He is repressing anger about never being seen for who he truly is. How many of us identify with that? [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode248] When we have stuck emotions we feel stuck in life because it takes a lot of energy to suppress repressed emotions. Repressing our emotions robs us of our creative expression and our creative energy. So, unless we deal with our anger and rage it's going to leak out in other ways and it's going to sabotage us. When men, in particular, don't deal with their anger and hurt in healthy ways or they don't step into their power in a healthy way, they try to overpower others. Men who don't take the more aggressive route generally become passive and neither help us because we need strong men to fight this fight with us. I acknowledge men who are willing to learn to process anger in a healthy way. Sometimes we give too much power to people who can't see us and that is what is beautiful about the awakening happening right now. So much is coming up and out in our world as more and more people are speaking their truth. We need awake people and lightworkers in all fields to bring consciousness and love into the world. No one else can give us permission to be ourselves. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you feel like you're in limbo — like you know what to do and feel called to do it but just can't seem to make it happen? Do you feel disconnected from either your masculine or feminine energy? Are you scared, even terrified, of judgment from others, which keeps you from moving forward? Do you feel like a fish out of water in your culture, country, or family? Ram's Question: Ram thinks he is in healing limbo. He feels disconnected from his masculine energy and is scared to show his true self to the world. Ram's Key Insights and Ahas: He is sensitive and empathic. His previous career/identity was frantic and Madmen like. He is afraid to share his true nature. He feels disconnected from his culture. He doesn't feel he can be his true self. He becomes deeply invested in his work. He is tapping into the collective frustration. He lives vicariously through other people. He feels the way to survive is to mute himself. There is anger in his body and it wants attention. He feels wronged, suppressed, and disempowered. He is breaking a paradigm. Managing his anger is taking all his energy. How to Get Over It and On With It: Work to change external circumstances to shift internally. Find the anger within and release it to become empowered. Work with anger in a healthy way. Go to ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease for my Temper Tantrum technique from Expectation Hangover or join the Personal Mastery course. Move into self-forgiveness. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.