Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

We all know self-love is incredibly important but what does it mean and how do you do it? Listen in for a Coaches Corner where Christine discusses a way to practice and understand self-love.

This episode is about honoring your needs and speaking your truth. I coach today's caller, Judy, through her feelings of isolation and empower her to have an honest conversation with her husband and herself about her needs. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode287] Loneliness is an epidemic, especially in this day and age when so many of us live alone. We are not close to our family geographically or we don't have a soul family or community to be a part of. We need a healing connection. We need to feel part of something, part of a tribe. We need to feel connected to ourselves. What often perpetuates a feeling of loneliness is a disconnection from ourselves that comes from judging ourselves and being hard on ourselves. If you suffer from loneliness or a lack of self-esteem, you are not alone. Let the fact that you are not alone motivate you to gain confidence and to connect with a community. Speaking your truth is when you say what's true for you and you are able to communicate your needs. When are you not speaking your truth? Many of us think people-pleasing is a way to get love and find validation. We think if people see the real us, they may not like us. The more you show the real you and the more authentic you are, your relationship with yourself will improve, your self-esteem will improve, and the intimacy and connection you have with other people will also improve. It's great to make other people happy but it's more important to please ourselves first by making self-honoring choices. People-pleasing could be the reason you are feeling isolated. On some level, people-pleasing is draining. Drop the people-pleasing, up your self-esteem by making self-honoring choices, and get out there and find your tribe! Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you feel isolated? Are you craving more connection? Are you in a marriage or relationship where you feel isolated? Do you feel like you are dependent on your partner or you are living according to their dreams and desires more than your own? Are you a people-pleaser? Do you have a hard time making your needs a priority? Do you find it challenging to speak your truth? Judy's Question: Judy wants to know how to find herself and how to raise her self-esteem. Judy's Key Insights and Ahas: She has been continuously moving for a year. Her husband tries to support her but he doesn't really get it. Her husband has a stronger personality than she does. She's dependent on her husband and doesn't go places on her own. She always puts other people first. She has a hard time saying no. She takes care of people, hoping it will help to build intimacy. How to Get Over It and On With It: She should be honest and vulnerable with her husband about her feelings. She should speak up when she feels she wants to say something. She should lean more into authenticity and less into people-pleasing. She should spend some time on her own engaging with other people. Takeaways: If you are in a relationship with the opposite sex and would like to improve your masculine/feminine communication dynamics, consider studying the subject more. If you are feeling isolated, start with a goal of talking to five new people every day and then build on that number. Start getting yourself out there and finding your tribe. Speak your truth authentically. If you have trouble doing it, join the Inner Circle community. Authenticity is this month's area of focus. Communicate your needs to the most important people in your life. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Christine answers the question: How do we truly move into acceptance of something turning out differently than we want and truly let go?" Acceptance is one of the most powerful things we can do for our healing and growth, yet it is often so difficult because what we have to accept is a reality we don't want. Christine teaches what acceptance actually is and the importance of moving out of regret, shoulda coulda woulda thinking, and how to move through our disappointments rather than get stuck.

This call is about breaking patterns with self-compassion. Today's caller, Maria, has been unfaithful in her relationships since the age of fifteen. She carries shame and judgment around it. Romantic relationships are so greatly influenced by our childhood wounds. In this call, you will see how Maria's childhood is impacting how she shows up in relationships today and why she's cheating. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode286] Shame and judgment are heavy and toxic. They are the things that keep us from shifting and changing. Yet, they make us want to change even more because the more shame we feel and the more we judge ourselves the more committed we are to changing. We may go to therapy, take courses, or listen to podcasts but it doesn't change things. Shame and judgment can be the catalyst for something we need to shift but we must move into compassion and acceptance in order to get to the healing that creates the shift. Sometimes, we have to face our worst fears in order to not have them be the monster in the closet. We have to open the closet door and deal with the monster because we can't stand lying in my bed and worrying that the monster will get us. We have to get up and deal with it so we can get some sleep. Loneliness can become dangerous because we crave connection. We all need to feel loved and we will do extreme things to get love. Even repeat patterns that are no longer serving us. How wounding affects our romantic relationships is the topic of the Virtual Group Coaching Call on March 11, 2021. $20 is all it costs to connect with your inner child and other like-minded people. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you carry a lot of shame about something you've done or that you're doing or a pattern you have? Have you ever been unfaithful in a relationship or cheated on? Is there something in your life that you are having a hard time shifting and you know you want to take a big step but you can't seem to make it happen? If you have children, what are you teaching them through your actions? Are you being an example of what you'd want them to be in life and relationships? Maria's Question: Maria wants to know why she continues the pattern of cheating on her partners. Maria's Key Insights and Ahas: She has cheated on her partners since she was 15. She needs validation from men to feel worthy. She feels unlovable. Her father died when she was eight. She was one of six children. Her mother wasn't loving. She felt alone growing up. She likes being protected by older men. She became addicted to having a boyfriend. She would like to shift her pattern now. She has two daughters. Her ex-husband spoke to her children about her cheating. She distracts herself through relationships. She is scared of making a shift. She started therapy this week. She hasn't fully grieved her father. How to Get Over It and On With It: Forgive herself for judging and shaming herself. Move into the energy of self-compassion. Breakup with her boyfriend and be single for a while. Get a coach or therapist to work with her. Takeaways For You: Are you trying to shift yourself through shame and judgment? Can you bring self-compassion in? Are you the bartender trying to get sober all the while serving alcohol all day? Are you in an environment that is not conducive to your healing and what can you do to get out of that environment? Join our Group Coaching Call on March 11th about how inner child work impacts relationships. Sponsor: Rothy's — Give yourself stylish, comfortable, versatile shoes made from eco-friendly material, including repurposed plastic water bottles and marine plastics from Rothy's. They are the softest shoes you will ever put on your feet. Check out the latest shoes, handbags, and masks from Rothy's by using this link Rothys.com/over. With free returns and exchanges on eligible products. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Listen in as Christine discusses why growth can be so painful, why the pain is not "bad", ways to decrease the pain, and why the pain is NOT necessary for growth. Link to blog/podcast she mentions: https://christinehassler.com/2018/03/do-you-have-enough-

This call is about letting go of worry and anxiety. Today's caller, Lara, has a lot of worry and anxiety when it comes to her kids. She would like guidance on how to tame it and not have it impact her children. When we let worry get the best of us, not only are we raising cortisol levels in our bodies, which is bad for our health, but we are moving out of our resourced state where we have access to intellect and intuition. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode285] When we have a lot of worry and anxiety, it doesn't do us any good. We become good at imagining worst-case scenarios but the heightened sense of anxiety puts us in the amygdala part of our brain — the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. When we are in that part of our brain, we are not thinking clearly; we are not well resourced. When it comes to keeping ourselves safe and protecting ourselves, being prepared allows us to relax because we have a plan in place. We need to learn to channel the worry into something else — into being productive, being prepared, or deepening our spiritual practice. There is a certainty we get from physical world reality, control, and from seeing things. And, there is a certainty we get from faith. Unfortunately, for most of us, our certainty muscle is based on control. That muscle is much stronger than our faith muscle. Having faith in the universe, higher power, God, or whatever resonates with you, is key in letting go of anxiety and letting go of attachment. Because if there is not something bigger than you that you trust, you will always be addicted to control. You will feel like you have to have your hands on the steering wheel of life at all times. It will be hard to let go. This is why surrender is important. Surrender isn't about giving up. It is about letting go. It's about relaxing into the knowing that there is a higher power taking care of you and taking care of the people you love. Join Stefanos and me for our 3-day virtual Inner Child Workshop. It's not about working on yourself. It's about connecting to your little one and letting go of some things you have been carrying around. We can help you bring your little one into their future, which is your present, and help them feel loved and safe. Don't let money be an issue, we have scholarships! ChristineHassler.com/innerchild or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com — March 19–21, 2021 We are creating a Relationship Retreat. It will be a 3-day virtual event. Get on the interest list to find out more and receive the early bird discount at ChristineHassler.com/relationshipsupport. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you love people so much you just want to hang on to them tightly and often control what they're doing? Do you worry about the people in your life and you feel better when they're in your sight? Do you have a hard time letting them go? Are you a parent who is struggling with the balance of giving your kids freedom, not wanting to project your anxiety on them, but also worrying if you don't, something bad is going to happen? As a child did you feel safe? Did you feel like all your needs were met? Did you feel like you had a parent that made you feel calm and resourced or do you have more of an anxious-attachment style? Lara's Question: Lara feels stuck in a cycle of anxiety and does not want it to negatively impact her children. Lara's Key Insights and Ahas: She has anxiety. She tends to control situations. Her children are becoming independent. She had chaos in her childhood. Her mother was the nervous type. She worries and does not trust that things will be OK. She has an anxious attachment style with her children. How to Get Over It and On With It: Trust and have faith that her children are protected. Join the Inner Child Workshop. Allow her mother's intuition to guide her actions. Greet her anxiety with love and remember it is just her inner child. Start a meditation and mindfulness practice. Takeaways For You: Make your inner child feel safe. Let them know you are there for them. Trust your intuition. Sponsor: ShipStation — The solution for online businesses and individuals who want to ship things without leaving home. ShipStation software tracks all of your shipments in one easy-to-use interface. Over and On With It listeners can try ShipStation for free for 60-days by using the offer code 'OVERIT'. Go to ShipStation.com and click on the microphone at the top of the page to let Shipstation help your business grow and thrive. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Luke Storey is a motivational speaker, kundalini yoga and meditation teacher, world-class biohacker, host of The Life Stylist Podcast, and founder of the world's premier online fashion school for stylists, School of Style which he founded in 2008. Luke's spent the past twenty-three years developing and refining the ultimate wellness lifestyle, based on the most transformative principles of primal health and ancient spiritual practices, while at the same time embracing the most cutting-edge natural healing and consciousness expanding technologies. He has tenaciously applied the results of his field research and used them to not only completely transform his own life but also the lives of thousands of fans and followers through his various media channels and speaking engagements. As a transformational speaker and entrepreneur, Luke continues to share his strategies for healing and happiness through his innovative and highly effective Lifestyle Design teachings, his Youtube channel, and his wildly popular podcast. You can learn more about Luke here www.lukestorey.com.

This call is about making self-honoring choices. Today's caller, Elena, has separated from her husband after being co-dependent for many years. She is uncertain how to move forward because she isn't clear about who she is. She asks for guidance about what to do next. This is an important call for those who feel they have lost themselves in a relationship or job. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode284] When you are trying to make an important decision, from getting a divorce to having a child, to moving to a new city or quitting your job, you need to start on the inside first. Look at where you are in the situation. Ask yourself if you want the job? Do you want the marriage to work? Are you scared to speak your feelings? What is underneath the surface feelings? For most people, limbo feels safe because you don't have to make a choice. But, what is safe for most of us is what is familiar. Usually what is familiar doesn't leave any opportunity for change or breakthrough. When you are in limbo, not moving in any direction, there are no possibilities. There is only more of the same. When we know who we are and we practice honoring choices, not selfish choices, clarity becomes a lot easier. Because we can say, "This is a yes. This is in alignment with my most authentic self. I'm not coming from a place of hurt or from my childhood wounding. I'm not looking for love or validation outside of me." It becomes much easier to make decisions. Everyone has the tools to love themselves and figure out who they are. If you are in a human body with a mind, a soul, and a heart you have the tools. You may need someone to help you use the tools but you have the tools. Join Stefanos and me for our 3-day virtual Inner Child Workshop. It's not about working on yourself. It's about connecting to your little one and letting go of some things you have been carrying around. We can help you bring your little one into their future, which is your present, and help them feel loved and safe. Don't let money be an issue, we have scholarships! ChristineHassler.com/innerchild or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com — March 19–21, 2021 We are creating a Relationship Retreat. It will be a 3-day virtual event. Get on the interest list to find out more and receive the early bird discount at ChristineHassler.com/relationshipsupport. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you feel you have forgotten who you are or lost who you are? Do you feel like within a marriage, being a parent, in a job, or friendship you have sacrificed your own identity? Are you in limbo about a big decision and terrified to make the change? Do you feel lost when it comes to getting support or asking for help? Elena's Question: Elena would like to find herself after losing herself in a co-dependent, long-term relationship. Elena's Key Insights and Ahas: She had been with her husband since the age of 14 until separating three years ago. She was co-dependent during her marriage. He had an emotional affair with someone else. The couple tried therapy. She is afraid to make a move. She lacks the confidence to make a change. She needs to put herself first. She grew up with old-school Italian values. Her mother divorced her father at her same age. Her temper goes quickly from one to 100. She likes to make people happy. She feels she needs to earn love. She doesn't know how to be. She is in Personal Mastery. How to Get Over It and On With It: Create some space to find out who she is. Be self-honoring and choose self-love. Realize she does not have to please people for them to love her. Journal to help process her feelings. Focus on the relationship she has with herself. Takeaways For You: Get support. Reach out for help. Form clear boundaries about what is not working for you, get clear about who you are and step into self-love. Join Personal Mastery. Be gentle with yourself. Stop telling yourself all the reasons you cannot do something and collect evidence for how you can. Sponsor: THIRDLOVE — Comfortable, perfectly-fitting bras that feel good to wear. What if you could remove the hassle of bra shopping and find the most comfortable, perfect-fitting bra in minutes? Take the fit finder quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect size. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes and great fitting underwear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your favorite bra. They have a 100% fit guarantee. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Sahara Rose is an ancient soul in a modern body. She has been called "a leading voice for the millennial generation into the new paradigm shift" by Deepak Chopra, who wrote the foreword of her books. She is the best-selling author of Eat Feel Fresh, Idiot's Guide to Ayurveda, A Yogic Path, her new book Discover Your Dharma. She also hosts the Highest Self Podcast, the #1 spirituality podcast on iTunes, and founder of Rose Gold Goddesses, the sacred sisterhood collective.

This call is about worst-case scenario thinking. Today's caller, Kate, is always waiting for the other shoe to drop because of chaos in her childhood. She has never felt safe. If you find yourself at a point where life is smooth and good but you keep waiting for something to happen and then judge yourself for having negative thoughts, this show will offer you solid guidance. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode283] Often, when people are in personal development, they learn from their suffering. There is an unconscious belief that they learn and grow from challenge or loss. But, while those things can be awakenings to growth, we must choose to learn and grow. We don't need loss and hardship to motivate us, inspire us to grow, or evolve our souls. Often, when we are worried the other shoe is going to drop, the fears coming up are our inner child trying to communicate with us. The body and emotions are often the language of the inner child, of our subconscious mind. So, pay attention to those, and instead of trying to get rid of them, ask them what they need. It is not our thoughts that attract things to us. It is our feelings and our frequency. Gratitude is a great frequency to move us out of anxiety or obsessive thinking. Moving into gratitude and truly feeling it is so much better than distraction. If you have fears of manifesting your bad thoughts, remember that the percentage of time you spend in the present and in gratitude is probably greater than the percentage of time you spend worrying. Worrying just feels more intense because it is intense and uncomfortable when you do it. Take comfort that it will be okay. Join Stefanos and me for our 3-day virtual Inner Child Workshop. It's not about working on yourself. It's about connecting to your little one and letting go of some things you have been carrying around. We can help you bring your little one into their future, which is your present, and help them feel loved and safe. Don't let money be an issue, we have scholarships! Christinehassler.com/innerchild or email Jill@christinehassler.com — March 19–21, 2021 Do you want to make coaching your career or enhance your current practice? Join our 6-month coach training program. You will be mentored by me and three other master-level coaches. If you are interested in applying, go to Elementum Coaching Institute to apply before the first class fills up. Consider/Ask Yourself: Did you have a childhood where you couldn't really relax, there was a lot of uncertainty, or everything was going fine and then a shoe dropped and you find yourself constantly waiting for the other one to drop? Have you done a lot of work on yourself? Are things going really well but you feel you can't trust it? Do you fear that your fear about things going badly will manifest bad things? Do you feel you have a deep connection to your inner child and they feel safe? Kate's Question: Kate would like guidance around why, when things are going well, she fears something is going to go wrong. Kate's Key Insights and Ahas: She is at a great place in her life. She often expects the worst. She fears she is going to sabotage herself. She has done personal development work. She spends more time in fear than joy. Her father was unpredictable and angry. Her sister was often sick. She didn't feel safe as a child. She wants to be more spontaneous. She uses distraction as a coping strategy. She believed challenges were a path to growth. She does not need to suffer to learn and grow. She will pay attention to the voice of her inner child. How to Get Over It and On With It: Reassure her inner child and put one hand on her belly and one on her heart and say "I am safe" when she has fear about something going wrong. Journal about how learning through challenge is over. Move into acceptance, soothe her inner child, and make a conscious decision to choose gratitude. Takeaways For You: Sign up for the Inner Child Workshop. Practice the 3-step process. Acceptance, reassurance of safety, and gratitude. Vow that you can evolve through choice, not challenge. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.