Wizard of Ads Monday Morning Memo

Transactions can be immediate or transactions can happen over time.The purchase of a “Flashing Blue Light Special” is an immediate transaction. I give you something. You give me something. Now we’re done. Transactions like these indicate an Exchange Market where customers are in Transactional shopping mode.Make no mistake about it: Big things can happen fast when you make the right offer in an Exchange Market.The danger of an Exchange Market is that customers can be lost as easily as they were won. You might sell 10,000 customers in 2 hours but these customers were never attracted to you, they were attracted to your product and its price. If a snazzier product comes along, or the same product at a better price, “your” customers will become someone else's customers.It is extremely difficult – but not impossible – to build a strong company using the methods of an Exchange Market. K-Mart thought they knew how to do it. They were wrong. (K-Mart and WalMart are 2 of the case studies we’ll reveal in our upcoming class, How to Make Big Things Happen Fast. If you want to leap forward in 2010 you really need to come.)Growing a fruit tree, winning the heart of a woman and building a brand happen over time, like putting money in the bank and receiving interest on it. Big miracles that happen slow and steady are the product of Exponential Little Bits. Transactions like these indicate an Interest Market where customers are in Relational shopping mode.If you buy gasoline wherever it happens to be cheapest this week, you buy your gas Transactionally. But if you buy your gas from the same one or two places, you’re buying your gas Relationally. Maybe you know why you always go to those places. Maybe you’ve never really thought about it. Doesn’t matter. You’re making your decision based on something other than price-per-gallon.Half the nation buys gasoline Transactionally. The other half buys gasoline Relationally. Both halves are convinced they are typical. Ask them questions about advertising and marketing and they’ll tell you with deep conviction everything you need to do to begin selling “everyone.” In the end, you’ll be as confused as a termite in a yo-yo.The keys to winning short-term, Transactional customers in an Exchange Market are:1.   Make a compelling offer and2.   Impose a time limit, or3.   Make a limited quantity available.The keys to winning long-term, Relational customers in an Interest Market are:1.   Specific details.2.   Honest evaluation.3.   Deliver what you promise.(And be sure to leave a little bit unpromised so you can add “a delight factor.”)The things I’ve told you today are true and reliable. But if these things were all you need to know, we wouldn’t be having a 2-day workshop, now would we?Jon Spoelstra has written a number of bestselling business books. So have I.I like Jon a lot. His talents and preferences are exactly the opposite of mine. That’s why he was chosen to co-teach How to Make Big Things Happen Fast.Would you like your company to be 1 of the 5 that Jon and I develop to show the rest of the class how it’s done? Between the two of us, Jon and I have spent hundreds of millions of dollars in countless real-world experiments over a number of decades. These dollars and years allow us to separate good ideas “that ought to work” from the good ideas that actually do.A smart man makes a mistake, learns from it, and never makes that mistake again. But a wise man finds a smart man and learns from him how to avoid that mistake altogether.Be the wise man. Come and learn How to Make Big Things Happen Fast, March 30-31.Roy H. Williams

The Full Plate Diet is EverywhereYou’re about to begin seeing The Full Plate Diet everywhere you look; bookstores, grocery stores, airports, wholesale clubs… everywhere.This is an interesting story. I think you’ll enjoy it. Especially since you’re a big part of it. Read on.Ray Bard served as the first chairman of Wizard Academy, a 501c3 nonprofit educational organization in Austin, Texas. He’s also the most successful publisher of business books in the world today. No brag, just fact. More than half the books published by Bard Press have been Wall Street Journal and New York Times bestsellers. No other publisher has had even 10 percent of its titles reach bestseller status. So yes, Ray is a very big deal in the world of publishing.A little more than a year ago, I asked Ray to look at a manuscript written by 3 students of Wizard Academy. Ray agreed to do it because I’m one of the few people in his life who NEVER ask him to look at books written by my friends. Like all successful publishers, Ray Bard is relentlessly pestered by would-be authors who use Ray’s friends to get to him. But I was one of the few “safe” people in Ray’s life. I was spending valuable currency just to ask Ray for this favor.He liked the book.Naturally, Ray kept me involved in most of the discussions about the book’s title, graphics, photography and narrative style. Nearly 5,000 of you received a free copy of a test version of The Full Plate Diet several months ago. Much of the book has been altered since then. It's even better.The final hardcover is glossy and lays flat when opened, like a cookbook. And it overflows with lavish, full-color photos that extend all the way to the edges of the page. About half the content has also been changed. It's more interesting, more useful, more fun.Ray did 2 things on the test cover to get your attention:1: The cover photo of the empty plate contradicts the title above it: The Full Plate Diet. This subtle dissonance works like magic because it’s resolved within the first few pages. You get to fill your plate with whatever you like.2. The test-cover photo also had the spoon on the wrong side and the edge of the knife turned outward. This caused such anxiety among readers that we put the silverware into its proper place on the cover of the final edition. The backwards silverware wasn’t just attention getting; it was a distraction.AIf you were one of the 5,000 Monday Morning Memo readers to receive a free test copy of The Full Plate Diet, I’m hoping you’ll do a couple of things for Ray and me:1.   Go to the Full Plate Diet Page at Amazon.com and write a review of the book. Don’t wait until you have enough time to do a 1st-class job of it. Do whatever you can do in 60 seconds, but please do it right now. This is much more important than you might suspect.2.   Buy a copy while you’re there. You’re going to be deeply impressed with the final product from Bard Press. Amazon’s release-week discount brings the $20 cover price down to just $13.22. You’re going to be glad you bought a copy. This diet works.3.   Mention the book this week to your network of friends. More than one million dollars in printing and promotional costs are on the line. The authors and the publisher are people we really care about. They're part of Wizard Academy.Besides, it’s fun to say, “This bestseller was written by some doctors who go to the same business school I attend. And here’s a copy of the test book they sent me half-a-year before the final book was released. Notice how the silverware is in the wrong place. They decided not to do this on the final cover because…”If enough of us buy a book this week, your fellow alumni are going to become bestselling authors and Wizard Academy will have a new feather in its cap.Thanks for being there. You're what makes the difference.You'll find the MondayMorningMemo I had originally planned for this week – 2010: The Changing of the Guard – in the rabbit hole. Dive into it by clicking the photo at the top of this page but go to Amazon.com first, okay?Roy H. Williams

Read to the End and Find a Business ApplicationIt’s entirely possible that today’s memo will make you think less of me. Maybe not. We’ll see.People fall into 4 categories in my mind:1. People I owe.2. People I know.3. People Invisible.4. People I must fight.If you object to people being put in categories, please keep in mind I said we’re talking about the world inside my head, not yours.People I Owe: When a person has been there for me and helped me when I was down, or gotten involved with something I was trying to do, I’ll always watch for a way to repay them. Some of the People I Owe have earned huge equity in my life and I’ll happily do things for them that no one else dare ask.I’ll bet you’re like that, too.So here’s my question for you: what did your “People I Owe” do for you that you’ve never forgotten? What was it that lifted them to such lofty heights in your heart and mind?Do those same things for other people.People I Know is a category that might have been labeled “friends and acquaintances” but it’s much broader than that in my mind. People I Know are the fabric of the social construct that exists within the scope of my limited vision. In essence, People I Know are the population of RoyWorld. I’m aware of their actions and I care about them.Strangely, the population of RoyWorld contains no newscasters. They are, to me, Invisible. I’m being completely serious with you. Newscasters have no place in my mind. I don’t hate them exactly, but I have no use for them. They don’t matter to me. Consequently, newscasters don’t exist in my private world.People Invisible are those who don’t count.Who doesn’t exist in your private world? How many billions of people live beyond the edges of your peripheral vision? You might like to believe you care about all living things and value all human life equally but your mind isn’t big enough for that. You can’t wrap your consciousness around everyone and everything on earth. So there will always be People Invisible in your world whether you like it or not.I’m suggesting only that you begin 2010 by choosing the populations of your categories consciously rather than unconsciously. Who will you owe? Who will you know? Who will be invisible? Who will you fight?Last week Pennie and I listened to People We Know talk about their Christmas traditions. One man we know – I don’t know his name – watches each year for the sanitation workers who pick up the garbage in his upscale neighborhood. Walking to the curb, he gives each man a Christmas card containing a surprisingly large cash tip. He said, “It makes them part of our community. It proves we recognize them, know their value, and consider them to be part of us.”The men on that garbage truck honk and wave and smile as they pass his home each week. The glow of his recognition stays on them all year. Our friend moved his service workers from People Invisible all the way up to People I Owe. And they have never forgotten it.If you’re in business, your customers are People You Owe. If you let them slip down to People You Know, or worse, People Invisible, your business will definitely suffer for it.But if that happens, don’t sweat it. You can always blame your advertising.Roy H. Williams

Mini Bikes, Tape Recorders, Leisure Suits and Yellow PagesThe Las Vegas Hilton, 2003: The stagehand said, “This is the stage where Elvis appeared when he played Vegas.” He was helping me set up to speak to the managers of all the local, county and state fairs in the English-speaking world.When my stage buddy said we were good to go, the floor attendants opened the doors and the crowd washed into the room, thick streams of people jamming the aisles, then branching into little rivulets as they chose specific rows of seats. I went backstage to get last-minute instructions from my hosts.The chairman of the board looked at me and said, “You’ll be speaking to about 16 hundred members and delegates from the US, Canada, England and Australia. They’re looking for ways to boost attendance at their fairs.”The board of directors then filled me up with everything they felt I needed to know. When they had finally spent themselves, I asked, “What does your organization do, exactly?”The chairman answered, “The main benefit we offer our members is a monthly magazine that reports the gate attendance of all the different fairs. We also report which performers and attractions were the biggest draws. The manager in Des Moines whose fair is about to begin wants to know what happened at the Chicago fair that just ended.”We started walking from the green room toward the wing of the stage when we heard the emcee begin to welcome the crowd.“But doesn’t it take a long time to gather all the information, print it and get it to the members?” I asked.“Yes, and that’s a big frustration among the membership. They say the magazine is mostly old news by the time it arrives.”“You don’t have a website?”“Son,” he said as he stopped abruptly, “the average age of the people you’re about to address is 72 years old. Many of them are over 80. There’s no one in the house younger than 65. These just aren’t internet people.”At that moment, the emcee flung his arm toward me and shouted, “Roy H. Williams!” With a final glance at the chairman, I walked onto the stage and quietly took off my shoes. Standing there in my socks, I studied the crowd a minute. They looked at me as I looked at them.Then I raised my hand and said, “How many of you have used a search engine in the past 7 days to research a purchase you were considering?” Sixteen hundred hands went up simultaneously.I looked offstage at the chairman. The man was openly stunned. I think he may still be standing there.Pennie and I found a plastic bag at the end of our driveway last Tuesday. In it were 3 different Yellow Page books. This triggered a discussion between Pennie and me about icons of the past. We recalled the famous Yellow Pages ad of 1962, “Let Your Fingers Do The Walking.” We talked about all the different tape recorders we’d owned. I told her about the J.C. Penney Golden Pinto mini-bike I coveted in 1970. And then I dropped the bag of books into the garbage.The next morning I received an email from my client and friend, Vess Barnes:Roy,When do you predict the demise of Yellow Pages and their brand-associated websites? Is money spent there basically wasted? Have a great week.Aloha,VessShort Answer: Yes, money spent in the Yellow Pages (and their associated websites) is basically wasted.Have you ever Googled a product or service and had the search engine direct you to the online Yellow Pages listing for a company? I’ve never once experienced it. Search engines elevate the most commonly clicked links. Think about what this implies. (Okay, I'll spell it out for you: if people were using the digital Yellow Pages, those online Yellow Page ads would rank higher on Google and the other search engines. The ads don't rank high on Google because most people never see those ads.)During the past few years, a number of our service company clients (foundation repair specialists, plumbers, HVAC companies, etc.) have taken our advice and abandoned the yellow pages completely, moving virtually 100 percent of their ad budgets to the radio. They already have websites, of course. These businesses, without exception, are outdistancing their competitors in the area of new customer acquisition.I’m fairly certain my position will generate a firestorm of emails from people who feel passionately that I’m wrong. But there are others who will know I’m right.Are you in that second group? Do you have the courage to slash your Yellow Page budget? Would you like to learn how to craft ads for radio and the internet that will gain and hold the attention of a far-too-busy public? Join Chris Maddock, Jeff Sexton and me for a business-altering 2-day course at Wizard Academy, January 27-28: How to Write Ads for Radio and the Internet.Early birds will get the last of the free rooms in Engelbrecht House, Wizard Academy’s spectacular student mansion. Birds who are slow to decide will have to stay in a hotel. But don’t worry, we’ve got a list of good hotels nearby. Get details from Tamara at (512) 295-5700.It is within your power to make 2010 a much better year than 2009. Are you going to do it?Do it. Come to Wizard Academy.Roy H. Williams

Ask the wrong question and you will get the wrong answerMost businesses target an imaginary customer because someone – probably an advertising salesman – once asked, “Who is your customer?”Ask any businessperson, “Who is your customer?” and he or she will likely answer with a singular customer profile. Something like, “My customer is a career woman between 28 and 44 years old, college educated, making at least $45,000 per year. She has exceptional taste and style and wants to express her individuality through her purchases.”And her favorite author is Danielle Steele and she likes to take long walks on the beach in the moonlight, right?Ill-advised questions like, “Who is your customer?” must find their answers in that shadowland where memory meets imagination.Although it may seem logical on the surface, “Who is your customer?” is a dangerously worded question.Yes, I said “dangerously” worded.Your whole life you’ve been told, “We remember more of what we see than what we hear.” But it isn’t true. In fact, clinical tests have proven quite the opposite: the precise wording of what enters our ears profoundly alters what we see in our mind.The question, “Who is your customer?” conjures the mental image of an individual since “customer” isn’t plural. Ask that same business owner, “How many different types of people do you serve?” and you’ll get a radically different, far more valuable answer.So now you’re going to tell me the 28 to 44 year-old female customer profile you gave me was the average customer, right?Dr. Neil Postman, the celebrated Chair of the Department of Culture and Communications at New York University, has this to say about that: “We must keep in mind the story of the statistician who drowned while trying to wade across a river with an average depth of four feet. That is to say, in a culture that reveres statistics, we can never be sure what sort of nonsense will lodge in people’s heads… A question, even of the simplest kind, is not, and never can be unbiased. The structure of any question is as devoid of neutrality as its content. The form of a question may ease our way or pose obstacles. Or, when even slightly altered, it may generate antithetical answers, as in the case of the two priests who, being unsure if it was permissible to smoke and pray at the same time, wrote to the Pope for a definitive answer. One priest phrased the question ‘Is it permissible to smoke while praying?’ and was told it is not, since prayer should be the focus of one’s whole attention; the other priest asked if it is permissible to pray while smoking and was told that it is, since it is always permissible to pray.”In a Loftus & Palmer experiment reported by Dr. Alan Baddeley in his 1999 book, Essentials of Human Memory*, a group of people were asked to watch the video of a collision between two automobiles. Viewers who were asked, “How fast were the cars going when they smashed into each other?” gave answers averaging 40.8 MPH and reported having seen broken glass. But viewers reported speeds averaging only 31.8 MPH and remembered no broken glass when asked, “How fast were the cars going when they made contact?” Keep in mind that each group had seen the same video only a few moments before these questions were asked. Control the question and you control the mental image it conjures.Create your marketing plan around the question, “Who is my customer?” and you’ll soon bump your head against a very low ceiling. The true profiles of “your customer” are like the characters in a Fellini movie; an unimaginable circus of people with conflicted personalities and unconscious buying motives.Proponents of hyper-targeting are quick to say, “You’re using the shotgun approach. I believe in putting the customer in the crosshairs of a rifle.”But we’re not hunting just one customer, are we? Hyper-targeters believe in fishing with a hook. But for best results, I suggest you find a net.If you want to grow your business, don’t target age, sex, income or education. Target according to buying motives. The question isn’t, “Who is my customer?” but rather, “Why does my customer buy my product? What does it do for him or her?” The answers to these questions will tell you exactly what to write in your ads.Congratulations. You found your net.Roy H. Williams

You want an example?Romulus Whitaker is saving the rainforest in Tamil Nadu, and with it, dozens of species of animals. The problem is complex, but so is Romulus Whitaker.Tim Bauer is fighting air pollution in the Philippines with a 2-stroke cylinder head that reduces hydrocarbon emissions by 89 percent. Thousands of engines must be retrofitted. The work is rugged, but so is Tim Bauer.Gomel Apaza teaches villagers about sustainable food production high in the Andes Mountains of Peru. His techniques are reliable, so the villagers live happier lives.Reliable. Rugged. Complex. Apaza, Bauer and Whitaker: making a difference.Making the world better for everyone.And the watch they wear is a Rolex: Reliable. Rugged. Complex.Because time is important to people who get things done.Your Rolex is waiting patiently for you to come and pick it up at Nevland Jewelers. I’m Dave Nevland and I’ve got a Rolex… for you.I wrote that ad for the “we” generation of 2009. Spotlighting the selfless servant as modern hero, the ad begs two questions:1. “Do you want to make the world a better place?”2. “Are you the kind of person who gets things done?”If so, you should be wearing a Rolex. Hand Dave Nevland some money.You might remember a quite different ad I wrote for the “me” generation 14 years ago:You are standing in the snow, five and one-half half miles above sea level, gazing at a horizon hundreds of miles away. It occurs to you that life here is very simple: you live or you die. No compromises, no whining, no second chances. This is a place constantly ravaged by winds and storm, where every ragged breath is an accomplishment. You stand on the uppermost pinnacle of the earth. This is the mountain they call Everest. Yesterday it was considered unbeatable. But that was yesterday. As Edmund Hillary surveyed the horizon from the peak of Mount Everest, he monitored the time on a wristwatch that had been specifically designed to withstand the fury of the world's most angry mountain. Rolex believed Sir Edmund would conquer the mountain, and especially for him they created the Rolex Explorer. In every life there is a Mount Everest to be conquered. When you have conquered yours, you'll find your Rolex waiting patiently for you to come and pick it up at Justice Jewelers. I'm Woody Justice and I've got a Rolex… for you.This ad features the individualist as hero and asks very different questions:1. “Are you the kind of person who wins against impossible odds?”2. “Can you take a minute to come pick up your trophy?”That Mount Everest ad was hugely successful 14 years ago, but We, the People, have changed. Have you noticed?Our transition from the Idealist “me” mindset to our current, Civic “we” way of thinking began right on schedule in 2003 and was essentially complete by the end of 2008.Right on schedule? Yep. We shift from one mindset to the other every 40 years and we've been doing it with the precision of a metronome for more than 4 centuries.Want to make your ads work better? Abandon the idea that your customers should reward themselves. Quit saying to them, “you deserve it.” Tell them instead that your product “makes a difference,” that it “helps,” and use the word “give” in a variety of applications, such as, “Give it a chance.”Sadly, the Apaza, Bauer and Whitaker ad won't be given a chance.Rolex didn't approve it.Sigh.Roy H. Williams

It's beginning to look not like ChristmasThey say you can never go home again, just like you can’t step into the same river twice. Things change.Have you ever been to a class reunion?“Cigars had burned low, and we were beginning to sample the disillusionment that usually afflicts old school friends who have met again as men and found themselves with less in common than they had believed they had.”– James Hilton, Lost Horizon“My town had grown and changed and my friend along with it. Now returning, as changed to my friend as my town was to me, I distorted his picture, muddied his memory. When I went away I had died, and so became fixed and unchangeable. My return caused only confusion and uneasiness. Although they could not say it, my old friends wanted me gone so that I could take my proper place in the pattern of remembrance – and I wanted to go for the same reason.”– John Steinbeck, Travels With CharleyYou’re probably thinking, “Roy and Pennie must have gone back to their hometown for a High School class reunion.”Nope. The last class reunion we attended was nearly 20 years ago.I’m not writing these things for me. I’m writing them for you.We Americans have idyllic, Norman Rockwell-type expectations of the holidays.A TV show about a bar in Boston began with a theme song, “Where everybody knows your name. And they’re always glad you came.” And when overweight, unemployed, nothing-special Norm Peterson walked into that bar, everyone looked up and shouted “Norm!” Each of us secretly wants to be Norm Peterson. We want to be known. Cheers became one of the most popular shows in the history of television.“The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.”– Maya AngelouIn his book, The Architecture of Happiness, Alain de Botton describes “home” as we tend to remember it:“The house has grown into a knowledgeable witness. It has been party to early seductions, it has watched homework being written, it has observed swaddled babies freshly arrived from hospital, it has been surprised in the middle of the night by whispered conferences in the kitchen. It has experienced winter evenings when its windows were as cold as bags of frozen peas and midsummer dusks when its brick walls held the warmth of newly baked bread. It has provided psychological sanctuary. It has been a guardian of identity. Over the years, its owners have returned from periods away and, on looking around them, remembered who they were.”We go home with an idealized memory of a place where everyone listens and cares and loves us for who we are, a place where we're known and everything is okay.And what we find when we get there is our family. We’re never quite prepared for the selfishness of Carol, the laziness of Lee, the assertiveness of Sarah and the insensitivity of Bob. And Gary, well, he’s just a jackass.Pennie says Chapel Dulcinea receives a large number of wedding cancellations right after the holidays. Evidently, “meeting the family” was enough to break the engagement. Then I heard Dr. Grant tell a roomful of students that clinical psychologists see a spike in requests for counseling right after the holidays as well.But then Dr. Grant said something profound: “The opposite of depression isn’t ‘Yippee!’ The opposite of depression is gratitude.”So this year I have a plan: Rather than trying to have a good Christmas, I'm going to make sure that everyone around me has one. My plan is to be silently thankful. Constantly, consciously thankful.I'm going to see past Carol's selfishness and like her anyway. I'm going to accommodate the laziness of Lee. l plan to submit to the assertiveness of Sarah and understand the insensitivity of Bob. I'm even going to seek out Gary and show an interest in whatever he wants to talk about.If my plan is to serve rather than be served, and to give understanding rather than receive it, how can I be disappointed? Are these things in my nature?No. Not at all.Might I crash and burn?Absolutely.Will I tell you how it all turns out?Count on it. Monday, December 28 in the rabbit hole.Wish me luck.Roy H. Williams

Tom Hennen has a line in his poem, The Life of a Day, that says,“We examine each day before us with barely a glance and say, ‘no, this isn’t one I’ve been looking for,’ and wait in a bored sort of way for the next, when we are convinced, our lives will start for real.”That line is a little bit frightening because you read it and realize you’re guilty. You’ve been waiting for that day when your life will start “for real.”The trouble with life is that it’s just so daily.I share this with you because I’ve been thinking about my two grandfathers who are dead and my father who is likewise and I’ve come to the obvious conclusion:Live while you have the chance.“Papa was a rolling stone. Wherever he laid his hat was his home…”– The Temptations, 1971In the final moments of his life, my father scribbled a note for me to find. In barely legible pencil he scrawled, “All the little things in life add up to your life. If you don't get it right then nothing else matters. It gets lonely in the promised land by yourself.”My Dad died lonely, I think, because he never made deep commitments. My father’s confession of his loneliness makes me sad, but his scribbled note tells me he wanted me to learn from his mistake.I meet a lot of people who sigh deeply and tell me they’re looking for their passion, something to set their souls on fire and send beams of light shining out through their eyes.But the people with light shining from their eyes know this:Passion does not produce commitment.Commitment produces passion.Solomon, that wise king, spent years of his life searching for passion. In chapter 9 of the chronicle of that search, the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon writes, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.”People read that and think Solomon is saying, “Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may die,” but that's not it at all. He's saying, “Throw your whole heart into whatever you do. Live while you have the chance.”This is my Holiday gift to you,I hope you will receive it:Find something that needs to be doneand throw yourself headlong into it.Let todaybe the dayyour life beginsfor real.Roy H. Williams

Peg the Needle on the Relevance Meter If You Want to See ResultsAds are often written under the assumption that we can get people to care about things they don’t really care about. But this approach rarely succeeds.Traditional ad-think says:1.   Target the right people2.   Leverage the right media (visual media for visual products, etc.)3.   Use creativity in delivering your message.But nontraditional ad-think gets far better results:1.   What you say matters most of all. Speak to a felt need. Good advertising isn’t about the product or the company that sells it. Good ads explain how the customer’s life will be different.EXAMPLE:Don’t say, “Dr. Bill Dipweasel was voted gentlest dentist in Saginaw County.”Say, “Get your teeth fixed. You’ll be more attractive and your confidence will skyrocket. People will treat you differently.”2.   How you say it is critical. Clarity is more important than creativity. Talk like people. People don’t say, “I’ve elected to have cosmetic dentistry.” They say, “I’ve decided to get my teeth fixed.” (Dr. Bill Dipweasel will give you push-back on this because he doesn’t think “get your teeth fixed” sounds professional. Also, he wants the ad to be about him.)3.   Deliver your message using whatever media offers the best psychological environment. In what moments would a candidate for cosmetic dentistry be most open to the message we crafted about being treated differently?Advertising works best when it speaks to what customers already care about. This is called “speaking to a felt need.” I've never met anyone that's had a secret, unmet desire to go to the dentist. But tens of millions of us secretly wish we were more attractive, more confident, and that people treated us differently. Capiche?Good ads aren’t about the company that’s paying for the ad. Good ads are about the reader, the listener, the viewer of the ad. This is especially true when writing classified ads for employment.A man attending a class at Wizard Academy confessed that, working part time, he had made more than $850,000 in employee placement fees as the direct result of a single chapter he had read in my second book. I congratulated him on having had the perception to recognize the potential in that chapter.Last week I received an email about that same chapter in my second book from William, an Acadgrad living in St. Petersburg, Russia.Dear Roy,I received an email from my business partner (Thatcher) earlier today, telling me that we had found the perfect applicant for an opening we have in our company. I crafted the job ad based on one of your chapters in the second Wizard of Ads book.This is what I replied to him: “She's perfect. The Wizard of Ads is a genius, and this girl is just what we want, don't you think? I mention the Wizard because I used an article of his on writing job ads for that one. He said the person we were looking for would recognise themselves in the ad, and we wouldn't be swamped with tedious junky mass-applications. And indeed that's what happened.”So thank you, Roy, for all your amazing free advice; I have yet to meet this girl, but judging by the application, I think she should fit in well.Eternally gratefully yours,WilliamThat chapter, by the way, is called “Writing Classified Ads for Employment.” It's chapter 76 in a 101-chapter book called Secret Formulas of the Wizard of Ads, a New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller.Here's an example of the strange type of classified ad that always gets superior results.William, I'm glad you found the perfect employee. I look forward to your next visit to Austin.Yours,Roy H. Williams

Big Brother is Alive and Well My son’s cell phone rang. He answered, “Hello?”“I’d like to speak to Booty Williams, please.”“This is Booty.”[long pause] “Is your name really Booty Williams?”“That’s right. Booty Call Williams.”“That’s awesome.”The call was from a telemarketing firm that had purchased my son’s contact information from a magazine to which he had subscribed. My son is among the millions of Americans who see questionnaires as an opportunity to create prize-winning fiction.That incident happened 14 years ago, yet Pennie and I continue to receive mail addressed to Booty C. Williams. Booty’s evidently-Irish twin brother, Shenanigans Williams, also resides at our address.According to the data purchased by the telemarketers, Booty and Shenanigans are both are highly educated and incredibly wealthy.I finally signed up on Facebook. Sort of. Do you remember giving Facebook your cell phone number? In return for giving it up to them, you no longer had to type those twisted, hard-to-read security words, proving that you were a person and not a computer. Call me paranoid, call me crotchety, call me Rod Wilson (Facebook does,) but don’t call me on my cell phone. I trust the privacy policy of Facebook about as far as I can kick a watermelon.I will, therefore, continue to type those twisted security words, thereby proving that I, Rod Wilson, am a person (albeit an imaginary one,) and not a computer! God bless America.What happens in Vegas no longer stays in Vegas.In the futuristic society described by George Orwell in his book, 1984, everyone is under constant surveillance by the authorities. Citizens are reminded of this by the phrase “Big Brother is watching you.” Immediately upon publication of that book in 1949, the term “Big Brother” entered into general usage to describe any overly-inquisitive or overly-controlling authority figure or attempts by the government to increase surveillance.Friend, Big Brother is alive and well. And he is us.Who needs private investigators and background checks when you can gather eyewitness accounts, signed confessions and photographic evidence with just a few clicks?Kirsten Valle writes, “The line between private and work lives is blurring in an era where blogs, social networking sites and party photo sites are increasingly popular. Employers are scanning the Internet for information on job applicants and even checking up on existing employees. Companies worry about photos showing drug or alcohol abuse, racially offensive comments and revealing clothing – anything that could damage a company's reputation.”People are losing their jobs and their marriages because of things that are posted on social media websites.On a more positive note, I mentioned in last week’s memo that Twitter and Facebook had lifted online research to a whole new level. Here’s a bit of Twitter eavesdropping I did – without even meaning to – while researching Facebook’s highly touted, hyper-targetable online ads:RT @danmartell: Facebook has a crazy awesome TARGETED ad platform. If you don't use it – you're kind of crazy! http://www.facebook.com/adsDrewmack responded:Facebook ads are a great way to invest your ad $ if you aren't one of those people who care about results. http://bit.ly/2Nb50qThat link provided by Drewmack proved interesting. You should click it later.Advertisers are hungry for trackable, direct-response “cause and effect” advertising. Deep down, their fantasy is to be able to say, “Every time I spend (x) dollars on advertising, I make (x) dollars in profit.” Advertisers like to think of advertising as a giant gumball machine: “You put in your ad budget, you crank the handle, and out come the results.”And advertising salespeople have convinced most advertisers that “reaching the right people is the key.”But success is more often determined by how you crank the handle.Specifically:(1.) How relevant is your message?Are you talking about what people actually care about, or only what you wish they would care about?(2.) In what psychological environment was your message delivered?EXAMPLE 1: Everyone knows that more people listen to the radio during morning drive than at any other time during the day. But people during morning drive are thinking about what awaits them at work. It’s during the drive home that they’re thinking about what awaits them at home. Consequently, radio ads tend to work better during afternoons and evenings.EXAMPLE 2: Facebook ads allow you to target with laser-like precision the customer profiles you want to reach. But you’ll get better results with keyword-targeted Google adwords because Google ads appear when the imperfect customer is in looking-for-answers mode. Facebook ads appear when the perfect customer is in connecting-with-friends, wasting-time mode.I realize it’s counterintuitive, but “When” is often more important than “Who.”Quit looking for the right people. Instead, dig deep for a message worth shouting from the housetops. You'll be surprised how many people become the right people when you finally begin saying the right thing.Roy H. Williams