Where Do We Go From Here?

In this episode of Where Do We Go From Here?, Jessica sits down with somatic sexologist Lydia Adéla to explore how embodiment, safety, and self-awareness can transform our experience of sexuality. Lydia shares her journey from believing she was "broken" and unable to feel pleasure, to becoming a practitioner who helps others reconnect to their bodies and experience intimacy without shame. Together, Jessica and Lydia unpack how religious conditioning, purity culture, and unrealistic media portrayals shape our sexual disconnection—and how we can begin to heal. This is a powerful and grounding conversation for anyone learning to listen to their body again and move from performance to presence. In this episode: Why pleasure is a learnable skill and not something we're "born good at" How shame, modesty culture, and disembodiment block arousal and connection The role of safety, breath, and sensory awareness in rediscovering pleasure Why orgasm isn't the end goal—and how slowing down brings deeper intimacy What somatic sexology and body-based healing can teach us about faith, freedom, and love Resources Mentioned: Lydia Adéla's website Bonnie Bliss — Somatic Sexuality Educator Training The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Wray Gregoire Redeeming Sex by Debra Hirsch Keywords: Lydia Adéla, somatic sexology, embodiment, sexual shame, purity culture, Christian sexuality, faith and the body, orgasm gap, consent, pleasure education, sexual healing, women and faith, Jessica Vanderwyngaard

In this month's Thoughts & Prayers, Jess and EDJ dive into what's been stirring in our community conversations — from purity-culture myths about "saving sex for marriage" to what it means to reclaim feminine wisdom in a patriarchal church. The hosts reflect on the latest No Hard Feelings discussion about abstinence and sexual compatibility, explore how our theology has shaped women's bodies and pleasure, and unpack insights from Edie J's interview with Angela J Harrington, author of Embracing the Odd Witch in the Woods. They also take listener questions from Reddit — tackling Christian dating, women initiating relationships, and setting boundaries with partners navigating addiction. And, as always, the episode closes with a moment of prayer in the spirit of the Anglican Prayers of the People, holding space for our world, our bodies, and our courage to question. In this episode: Does abstinence before marriage really equal better sex? Re-educating ourselves about desire, consent & female anatomy Deconstructing patriarchy and reclaiming feminine wisdom Addiction, boundaries, and compassionate love Women leading with courage in politics & faith communities A prayer for grace in uncertainty and hope in the waiting Keywords: purity culture, Christian sexuality, feminist theology, Angela Harrington, deconstruction podcast, consent education, female embodiment, patriarchy in the church, women's leadership, deconstruction and faith, Where Do We Go From Here podcast Angela J. Herrington — Website: angelajherrington.com angelajherrington.com+1 Angela Herrington — Book: Embracing the Old Witch in the Woods: Liberating Feminine Wisdom from Christian Patriarchy by Angela J. Herrington Google Books Sheila Wray Gregoire — Bare Marriage blog/article: "Are Obligation Sex and Marital Rape the Same Thing?" Bare Marriage France legal reform on consent — Article: "France's Assemblée Nationale backs bill adding consent to rape law" (Le Monde) lemonde.fr+1

In this episode, EDJ talks with Angela Herrington, author of Embracing the Old Witch in the Woods: Decolonizing the Sacred Feminine and Reclaiming Your Power. Together, they explore what it means to reconnect with feminine wisdom in a world shaped by patriarchy and Christian purity culture. Angela unpacks: The witch as a metaphor for women's ancestral wisdom and strength How patriarchy and colonialism vilified feminine power and indigenous knowledge Why rage and pleasure are essential parts of healing The truth about Christian teachings on submission and mutuality How epigenetics reveals generational trauma—and the science behind healing it The difference between equality and equity in feminist theology This conversation dives deep into spirituality, sexuality, and self-trust, inviting listeners to rediscover the sacred feminine in themselves—no matter their gender. 📘 Embracing the Old Witch in the Woods is available wherever you buy books. Follow Angela Herrington on Instagram and visit angelaherrington.com. 🎧 Listen to Where Do We Go From Here? wherever you get your podcasts, and follow @where_do_we_go_pod for more.

In this month's No Hard Feelings, Jessica, Emily, and Kristen take a deep dive into one of purity culture's biggest promises — that saving sex for marriage leads to better, holier, and more satisfying sex. Spoiler: the data (and lived experience) tell a different story. They explore: The "sexual prosperity gospel" and why it set so many up for shame and disappointment Sheila Wray Gregoire's landmark Great Sex Rescue study of 20,000 evangelical women The "flip-switch myth" and how lack of education and consent led to painful first experiences The 47% orgasm gap and how theology often reinforces it How purity culture erased queer people entirely — and the lasting impact of that What Christians can teach instead: consent, embodiment, mutuality, and choice A surprisingly wise bit of secular sex advice: "Don't have sex with anyone you wouldn't hand your unlocked phone to." Whether you waited for marriage or not, this episode dismantles the shame, misinformation, and silence that shaped so many of our sexual stories — and offers a better, kinder path forward. Referenced: The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Wray Gregoire The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex Dr. Camden Morgante's "Flip Switch Myth" Santification and Sexual Satisfaction: https://ematerials.ulethbridge.ca/server/api/core/bitstreams/51cab0e8-67d7-48c5-923d-543a9873ff0b/content https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2011-19407-001 Guys We F**ed* podcast

In this fun and thoughtful Where Do We Go From Here? conversation, Jessica and Devi revisit one of their favourite RomCom Recap episodes from Patreon — a deep dive into the Netflix hit Nobody Wants This, starring Kristen Bell and Adam Brody. They explore why this show hit such a cultural nerve, how it portrays the complexity of love between two people from different faiths, and what it teaches us about emotional honesty, boundaries, and belonging. From the "hot rabbi" to the spiral-inducing unanswered text, Jessica and Devi unpack how Nobody Wants This manages to make relationships feel real — messy, beautiful, and worth fighting for. If you've ever wondered what healthy love looks like after religious conditioning or purity culture, this one's for you. In this episode: Why Nobody Wants This resonates so deeply with modern audiences How pop culture is reimagining "good men" through characters like Noah The parallels between religious devotion and emotional integrity Why our culture is hungry for models of honest, emotionally mature relationships The power of female introspection in romcom storytelling Mentioned in this episode: Nobody Wants This (Netflix) Fleabag (Amazon Prime) The Faith Adjacent Podcast

In this reflective and wide-ranging Thoughts & Prayers episode, Jessica and EDJ explore the intersection of politics, faith, and deconstruction — from the rise of Christian nationalism in the U.S. to the way purity culture still shapes dating and marriage expectations today. Together, they talk about: How Christian nationalism differs between Australia and the U.S. What the Charlie Kirk controversy reveals about polarization and online discourse. Learning when to disengage from unproductive debates — and how that can be an act of wisdom, not defeat. Why waiting for "God's timing" in dating can keep women passive and disconnected from their own agency. Reflections on The Myth of Good Christian Parenting and the need to unlearn harmful discipline models. Jessica's bittersweet announcement about stepping back from Where Do We Go From Here? and what's next for the show. A closing prayer for peace, courage, and connection. ✨ Whether you're deconstructing purity culture, politics, or parenting, this episode offers grounded honesty, laughter, and a gentle invitation to keep growing. Mentioned: The Myth of Good Christian Parenting by Marissa Franks-Burt & Kelsey Kramer McGinnis April Ajoy interview episode Prayer by Dr Lisa Hancock

Guests: Marissa Franks-Burt – Instagram | Substack Kelsey Kramer McGinnis – Instagram | Substack | Writer at Christianity Today About the Episode: In this episode, EDJ sits down with Marissa Franks-Burt and Kelsey Kramer McGinnis, authors of The Myth of Good Christian Parenting: How False Promises Betrayed a Generation of Evangelical Families. Together they trace how James Dobson's Dare to Discipline shaped decades of Christian parenting and why authoritarian, fear-based models continue to echo in today's influencer culture. They explore: How "good Christian parenting" emerged from post-1970s evangelicalism Why the focus on control and obedience took hold The theology behind corporal punishment and gender hierarchy How religious parenting ideals became social media aesthetics What it looks like to move toward empathy, autonomy, and grace Trigger warning: Discussion of spanking, strict discipline, and religious trauma. Book release: The Myth of Good Christian Parenting releases October 14, 2025. Pre-order bonuses include downloadable resources making the Christian case against spanking.

April Ajoy, a content creator and author of 'Star-Spangled Jesus', dives deep into her deconstruction journey from purity culture to questioning political beliefs. She explores how Christian nationalism intertwines with evangelism and reflects on its personal impact. April shares her transformation through satire on TikTok and offers insights on global Christianity as an antidote to nationalism. Her candid discussion on gender identity with her non-binary spouse and hopes for change in faith communities make this conversation both enlightening and inspiring.

Responding to the Assassination of Charlie Kirk The assassination of Charlie Kirk has shaken Christian communities across the U.S. and beyond. In this episode of No Hard Feelings, Jess (Melbourne), Emily (Texas), and Kristen (Tennessee) sit with the grief, confusion, and deep polarization surrounding Kirk's death. Together, we ask: how do we resist letting tragedy harden us into tribalism? How do we hold the tension between condemning violence and naming the real harm of Kirk's rhetoric? And what does it mean to choose love over retaliation in an age of outrage? In this conversation, we explore: Why reactions to Kirk's death split so quickly into polarized "camps" The role of social media algorithms in fueling anger and division, with insights from Jonathan Haidt (The Coddling of the American Mind). Mark Noll's critique of evangelical anti-intellectualism in The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind. A pastoral response from Kristin Mockler Young, reminding us that empathy in the face of enmity is a supernatural calling Reflections on collective grief, generational impact, and the temptation to idolize or demonize leaders. Why stepping away from online debates and reclaiming in-person conversations might be our best path forward. This is not an easy conversation — but in No Hard Feelings fashion, we try to hold complexity, honor grief, and root ourselves in love. Sources: https://jimrigby.substack.com/p/my-prayer-today-in-a-liberal-church https://tialevings.substack.com/p/evangelicals-are-venerating-charlie https://www.straightwhiteamericanjesus.com/episodes/political-violence-before-and-after-charlie-kirks-murder/ https://www.abc.net.au/listen/programs/ladies-we-need-to-talk/misogyny-sexism-ai-ladies-we-need-to-talk/105775024 https://turningthegem.substack.com/p/one-pastors-response-to-the-effect https://www.aei.org/society-and-culture/the-unraveling-how-political-violence-reveals-americas-fraying-social-fabric/

In this special one-off reunion episode, Jessica is joined by former co-host Devi Abraham to do a kind of "Dobson autopsy." When Dr. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, passed away last month, his legacy sparked heated debate. Was he the warm fatherly voice who helped parents raise families—or the architect of purity culture and harmful teachings? 📻 Dobson's global reach — Focus on the Family aired in 164 countries, translated into more than a dozen languages, and reached *200+ million daily listeners (Britannica, Radio Hall of Fame). 🧬 Eugenics roots — the surprising connection between Dobson's mentor Paul Popenoe, a eugenicist, and the framing of Dare to Discipline (Baptist News Global). ⏱ The 72-Hour Rule — teaching couples not to go more than three days without sex, widely critiqued as unscientific and harmful (Bare Marriage). 🏫 Purity culture & adolescence — how Preparing for Adolescence shaped generations and linked teenage sexuality to loss of faith (Dobson Family Institute blog). ✋ Masturbation — Dobson's contradictory teaching that it was "not much of an issue with God," leaving many adolescents confused (Evidence Unseen). 🪓 Corporal punishment — "Some strong-willed children absolutely demand to be spanked…" (Dare to Discipline, 1970), making spanking mainstream in Christian homes. 👉 Listen in as Jessica and Devi unpack the paradox of Dobson's life: the man who created a global empire of evangelical family teaching, and the movement that shaped—and scarred—millions. 🔗 Sources & Further Reading Encyclopaedia Britannica – Focus on the Family Radio Hall of Fame – Focus on the Family Baptist News Global – Dobson's eugenics connection Bare Marriage – Critique of the 72-Hour Rule Dobson Family Institute Blog Evidence Unseen – Biblical Ethics of Masturbation Religion Dispatches – "I Will Always Be Afraid of James Dobson" Focus on the Family – Jim Daly tribute