3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms

Happy 3 in 30 Day, my friends! Today is March 30th — which, numerically, is 3/30 — and years ago I dubbed this our national holiday. When I started 3 in 30, I did not set out to build a community. I was a busy mom who desperately wanted a parenting resource that would just get to the point already — and when I couldn't find one, I sat down at my kitchen table with a cheap microphone and created it. What I did not anticipate is that moms all over the world would listen, and that through it all, something that genuinely feels like a community would grow up around this little show. To celebrate, I asked the 3 in 30 community to send in voice messages and written notes about their favorite episodes and why those episodes mattered. In today's episode, you'll hear eight of those messages — each one followed by a short clip from the episode being mentioned. In this episode, you'll hear: 🎙️ A mom who finally stopped feeling guilty about resting — all because of one permission-giving line from one of our guests 🎙️ A mom who was walking alone during COVID when an episode about mom guilt made her feel, for the first time, like someone understood exactly what she was going through 🎙️ A mom who lost her mother years ago and started a food tradition with her own children after hearing an episode about keeping a loved one's memory alive — and how her kids now ask for it every year Almost nine years of getting to the point and actually helping busy moms in the trenches. That's what this community is, and I'm so grateful it exists — and that there is so much good here waiting for you whenever you need it. For full show notes click here. *** Featured Episodes: 293: Rethinking Housework // KC Davis 469: 3 Ways to Lighten the Load of Motherhood // Greg McKeown 24: Fighting Against Mom Guilt 186: Helping your Children Connect with Someone You've Loved & Lost // Dara Kurtz 461: "I Hate You, Mom" — How to Respond When Holiday Stress Brings Big Emotions 415: How to Get Help for Mental Illness // Sarah McKenna 416: When Someone You Love Struggles with Mental Health // Logan McKenna 433: Making Friends as a Mom: Why It's Hard — and How to Do It Anyway // Dr. Marisa G. Franco 118: How to Raise Confident Children // Marilyn Faulkner Episode Sponsors: Knix Teen: Go to knixteen.com and use code 3IN30 for 15 percent off. Skylight: Right now, get $30 off the 15-inch Calendar at MySkylight.com/TAKEAWAYS. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Spring is a season I genuinely love, but it also has a way of sneaking up on me. One minute I'm enjoying the slower pace of winter, and the next I'm looking at my calendar wondering when it got so full. If you're coming off of Spring Break trying to find your footing again, or you can already see Maycember on the horizon and feel your shoulders creeping up toward your ears, this episode is for you. A few years ago, during one of those stretched-thin, running-on-fumes seasons, I shared three things that were genuinely helping me stay sane. I went back and listened recently and thought, these are still so good, and I wanted to share them again, because I think we could all use some practical tools to reach for when life piles up. In this episode, you'll learn: 🌸 The simple two-column list that cuts through mental overwhelm and tells you exactly what actually has to get done (and what can wait) 🌸 Why choosing just three non-negotiable soul care essentials — even tiny ones — can be the thing that holds you together during your busiest weeks 🌸 The mindset shift that keeps the spiral at bay, and why what you say to yourself during hard seasons matters more than almost anything else And one more thing worth mentioning — this episode is less than 15 minutes long. So if you're already feeling the busyness piling up and the idea of a full episode feels like one more thing on your list, this one was made for exactly that moment. Short, sweet, and full of things you can actually use. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Related Episodes: 353: How to Declutter Your Busy Schedule // Miranda Anderson 333: How Can a Busy Mother Get Back to the Essentials? 463: What If Your Only New Year Goal Was to Let Go of the Shoulds?   Episode Sponsors: Wildgrain: For a limited time, Wildgrain is offering our listeners $30 off your first box - PLUS free Croissants for life - when you go to Wildgrain.com/3in30 to start your subscriptiontoday. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Last week, I found out that one of my kids' teachers unexpectedly lost her husband in a car accident. She's in her early 30s with a toddler, and when I was telling Ryan, I just started to cry. I don't often cry, so it surprised both of us a little. The truth is, I was crying for her — and for all of the heaviness that has been building in my heart for months. The political division, the international conflicts, the injustice — it has felt like a lot lately. My teenage son sometimes says to me when we talk about hard things, "Mom, why does life have to be so hard?" And I tell him, "I don't know, Buddy. But you're right — and I also know that it is beautiful too."This week's guest is Shannan Martin, bestselling author of the brand new book Counterweights, and she has a practice for holding both of those things at once. In this episode, you'll learn: 💜 Why Shannan writes down both the weights AND the counterweights every night — and what happens when you hold them together on the same page 💜 Why Shannan (a self-described introvert) pushes herself to gather people in her home regularly — and the surprisingly low bar she sets to make it actually happen 💜 The tiny silver fork that has become one of her most treasured daily rituals (you'll understand when you hear it) For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: March 30th is 3 in 30 Day — and this year I'm celebrating by highlighting YOU! Share your favorite episode and its impact at 3in30podcast.com/tellrachel before March 20th, and your message may be woven into a very special episode. Related Episodes: 424: When LIFE Doesn't Turn Out as Planned // Jessica N. Turner 401: How Radical Gratitude Can Change Your Life // Dr. Tanmeet Sethi 390: Living with Grief without Losing Yourself // Shelby Quinlan Sponsors: Shopify: It's time to turn those "What Ifs" into ✦[CHA CHING]✦ with Shopify today. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial at shopify.com/3in30. BetterHelp: 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to betterhelp.com/3in30 to get 10% off your first month of online therapy. AirDoctor: Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code 3in30 to get up TO $300 off today! AirDoctor comes with a 30-day money back guarantee, plus a 3-year warranty—an $84 value, free! Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I didn't learn until I was 40 years old that my body moves through four distinct phases every single month — and that each one of those phases affects my mood, my energy, my patience, and my ability to connect with the people I love. Which means that the version of me who felt so present and empathetic last Tuesday wasn't just "having a good day." And the version of me who snapped at everyone before dinner on Friday wasn't failing. Both of those women were showing up exactly on schedule — I just didn't have the language for it yet. This episode is about what becomes possible when we finally have that language, and how empowering it is to understand our bodies well enough to show up the way we actually want to — and to have real grace for ourselves when that's harder. This week's guest is Shara Jackson Harper, a licensed mental health therapist, hormone and cycle guide, and mother of five who helps women understand how their internal rhythms shape the way they show up for the people they love most. In this episode, you'll learn: ✨ The golden conversation Shara had with her 15-year-old son — and the specific reason she believes the timing made all the difference ✨ Why most women are often carrying a "basket of shame" about their hard days, and what Shara says we can do with it instead ✨ The simple three-part formula Shara uses to talk to her own family about where she is in her cycle — and why her kids actually know what "lower bandwidth week" means So here's to understanding ourselves a little better, giving ourselves a little more grace, and showing up for our people in the ways we actually want to.   For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: Hormone Cycle Guide: Shara has created a free handout with an overview of all four phases of the menstrual cycle plus a printable tracker to help you start noticing your own patterns. Grab it at 3in30podcast.com/cycleconnection.   March 30th is 3 in 30 Day! This year I wanted to celebrate by highlighting YOU. I'm collecting voice messages from listeners sharing your favorite episode and what about it made an impact or stayed with you, and my podcast editor is going to weave them all together into one really special episode. Prefer to write it out instead? You can do that too. Just head to 3in30podcast.com/tellrachel before March 20th. It only takes a minute, and I really cannot wait to hear from you. Related Episodes: 410: Align Your Goal-Setting with Your Menstrual Cycle // April Davis of Haus of Vagina 314: How to Feel Like Yourself in Motherhood // Aleisha McKean 205: How to Coach Yourself Through Big Emotions // Georgia Anderson Episode Sponsors: Skylight: Skylight offers a 120-day guarantee—if you're not thrilled, full refund. Right now, get $30 off the 15-inch Calendar at MySkylight.com/TAKEAWAYS. That's M-Y-S-K-Y-L-I-G-H-T dot com slash TAKEAWAYS Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A year ago this month, the travel and motherhood world lost Elise Caffee — blogger, adventurer, mother of three, and the woman behind the hashtag "take the trip." Elise believed, down to her bones, that making memories with your kids was always worth it — the chaos, the cost, the exhaustion, all of it. This episode is for her.   This week's guest is Tiffany Rosenhan, Elise's dear friend, co-author, and co-founder of Jumelle Press. Together, they wrote Pippa and Poppy Adventure — a beautiful children's book about two identical twins exploring Europe — and Tiffany is here today to carry Elise's message forward. With spring break just around the corner, her three takeaways feel especially timely — whether you're heading somewhere far or just loading up the car for a day trip an hour from home. In this episode, you'll hear: 🧳 The story of why Tiffany's family pulled their kids out of school and traveled abroad for five months — and why she says she'd do it again without hesitation 🧳 What Elise's daughters did three weeks after she passed away, and what it reveals about the culture she built in her family 🧳 The surprising science behind why travel builds stronger memories in kids' brains than almost anything else you can do together So here's to loading up the car, booking the day trip, or simply putting the phone down and being present with your people this spring. The memories don't require a passport — they just require you.   For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: March 30th is 3 in 30 Day — and this year I'm celebrating by highlighting YOU! Share your favorite episode and its impact at 3in30podcast.com/tellrachel before March 20th, and your message may be woven into a very special episode. Related Episodes: 453: How to Travel for FREE with Your Family (Really!) // Amber Paul 418: Staying Home for Spring Break? 3 Ways to Make it Memorable (and Manageable!) // 3 in 30 Team 431: 3 Road Trip Hacks for Traveling with Kids // Brittney Hanks Episode Sponsors: BetterHelp: 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to betterhelp.com/3in30 to get 10% off your first month of online therapy. Bubs Naturals: Live Better Longer! For a limited time only, our listeners are getting 20% OFF at bubsnaturals.com by using code 3in30 at checkout. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A few years ago, I read a book that made me think it was reading my mind. In the introduction, the author asks: Do you ever feel like you're running faster but not moving any closer to your goals? Do you want to make a higher contribution but you lack the energy? Are you teetering right on the edge of burnout? I wrote, "Yes, yes, yes!" next to each question in the margin of my copy. The book is Effortless by Greg McKeown, and it's the follow-up to his first book Essentialism, which I talked about in last week's episode. In today's episode, Greg talks about how we can lighten the load of motherhood without burning out. Greg acknowledges that life is genuinely hard—raising children is hard, paying the bills is hard, strained relationships are hard—and he's not promising to eliminate those hardships. But he does offer tools that can help lighten the load, and that's exactly what we talk about in this episode. In this episode, you'll learn: 💜 Why striving for 100% effort actually makes you less effective—and the optimal pace that will help you go further without burning out 💜 The question Greg asks when everything feels overwhelming (hint: it's not "what can I cut?" but something far more freeing) 💜 What radical gratitude actually means—and why it's the only thing powerful enough to counter the suffering we all experience in motherhood If you've been running on empty, if the mental and emotional load feels crushing, or if you're wondering how to keep showing up when everything feels so hard, this conversation will meet you right where you are. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: My Declutter Your Motherhood audio course walks you through the exact process I use to release the "shoulds" that don't fit me anymore and make room for what actually brings me joy. Related Episodes: 468: Stop the Runaway Train: How to Get Back to What Actually Matters 412: How to Overcome Overwhelm 401: How Radical Gratitude Can Change Your Life // Dr. Tanmeet Sethi Episode Sponsors: Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first set of sheets plus free shipping at BollAndBranch.com/3IN30. Laundry Sauce: For a limited time only, our listeners get 20% off your entire order when you use code 3in30 at LaundrySauce.com. Skylight: Right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15 inch Calendars by going to MySkylight.com/TAKEAWAYS. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Right now I am definitely feeling the pull to simplify things in my life. I even said to my husband the other day, "I feel a bit like I'm on a runaway train!" Luckily, it's not the first time I've felt this way. I now know that this happens sometimes and life will suddenly accelerate faster than I intended. But here's what I've learned: I'm not actually on a runaway train. I can choose to get off. The harder question is how—and that's exactly what this episode is about. As I take a break from new episodes this month in an effort to get off the train, it was important to me to re-air this episode that essentially taught me how to figure out what actually needs my energy—and what doesn't. It's based on Greg McKeown's book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less. Greg's work has been part of my mental bookshelf for a decade, and these lessons about becoming an essentialist help me recalibrate whenever I need them. In this episode, you'll learn: 🚂 Why the word "priority" was originally singular (and stayed that way for 500 years)—and what that means for how we should be living our lives 🚂 The question Greg McKeown asks himself when he's overwhelmed in a hotel room at midnight that helps him figure out what actually matters right now 🚂 How to stop diffusing your energy in a million directions and start making real progress in the areas that matter most For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: I'm taking a break from airing new episodes during February so I can rest and honor the needs of my body, mind, and spirit. I'm practicing what I preach by sanctifying my soul care this month, and I hope these encore episodes inspire you to do the same. This episode beautifully supports the fourth principle of the Self-Assured Motherhood Framework: Sanctify Your Soul Care. Related Episodes: 438: How Soul-Care Can Help You Enjoy Motherhood More: Real Stories from Moms Like You // SAM Sisters 441: The 4 Types of Self-Care Every Mom Needs // Mia Hemstad 412: How to Overcome Overwhelm Episode Sponsors: Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first set of sheets plus free shipping at BollAndBranch.com/3IN30. Wildgrain: Wildgrain is offering our listeners $30 off your first box—PLUS free Croissants for life—when you go to Wildgrain.com/3IN30 to start your subscription today. AirDoctor: Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code 3IN30 to get up to $300 off today! AirDoctor comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee, plus a 3-year warranty—an $84 value, free! Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's easy to notice when your marriage feels disconnected, but it's much harder to know what to actually do about it. And it's even harder to look at your own part in the dynamic instead of just wishing your partner would change. This Valentine's Week, I'm bringing back one of my favorite conversations with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, a relationship and sexuality coach whose work has profoundly impacted my own marriage. In this encore episode, she shares three concrete, actionable things we can do right now to become better partners and strengthen our marriages. In this episode, you'll learn: 💜 The one quality Dr. Jennifer looks for in a great partner (most of us avoid it, but it's what makes marriages actually work) 💜 Why how you handle disappointment matters more than compatibility 💜 What's really behind sexual disconnection—and it's not lack of desire Dr. Jennifer has a gift for helping us see our blind spots without shame, and this conversation gave me concrete things I could actually do instead of just wishing things were different. While this episode won't hand you a perfect marriage, it will show you how to stop waiting for your spouse to change and start working on what you can actually control. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: Dr. Jennifer's book That We Might Have Joy: Desire, Divinity and Intimate Love is now available. I listened to it on audio and then immediately ordered the paperback so I could mark it up. Grab it here. I've created an entire playlist of relationship-focused episodes. Access it here. Related Episodes: 342: Communicating to your Partner that Things Need to Change // Eli Harwood 222: How to Repair after a Fight with your Partner // Jocelyn and Aaron Freeman 223: Sex and Motherhood // Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife Episode Sponsors: Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first set of sheets plus free shipping at BollAndBranch.com/3IN30. First Day: For a limited time only, our listeners are getting an insane deal. Use code 3IN30 to get up to 57% Off at First Day dot com. That's up to 57% Off and a Free Gift with code 3IN30 at FirstDay.com. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. PLEASE support our show and tell them our show sent you. BetterHelp: 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to betterhelp.com/3in30 to get 10% off your first month of online therapy. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Six weeks before I recorded this episode, I woke up early with my heart pounding so hard I couldn't ignore it. The house was dark, everything was quiet, and as I lay there thinking about the medication I was on, the surgeries I'd been through, the pace I'd been keeping, this thought came to me so clearly: This is my life. No one is going to fix this for me. I am the one who has to change this. I was dealing with chronic health issues, and my body was forcing me to confront some hard truths about how I was living. That morning, I realized I couldn't keep pushing through and ignoring what my body was trying to tell me. So I did something that terrified me—I took a full month off from my podcast even though I had 40 people waiting to be guests.That was back in 2019, and I'm re-airing this episode now because I'm taking my own advice again. This time it's different—my health issues from 2019 have resolved, and I'm not in crisis mode. I'm pausing this February simply because I need space to breathe, think, and recalibrate. I'm not waiting for the summer chaos or for things to fall apart. I'm choosing rest before I need it desperately, and I want you to know that you can do the same. In this episode, you'll learn: 🧘🏽‍♀️ Why waiting for the "right time" to rest might be the very thing keeping you stuck 🧘🏽‍♀️ The one realization that shifted everything about how I approach my responsibilities (hint: it starts with "I could...") 🧘🏽‍♀️ The three practical steps to taking a pause that actually restores you instead of just adding to your guilt If you've been running on empty and telling yourself you'll rest later, this episode is your permission slip. You don't have to wait for a breakdown to take a break. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: Need help figuring out what actually needs to stay in your life and what you can let go? My Motherhood Decluttered course helps you clear the mental and emotional clutter so you can focus on what truly matters. Learn more by clicking on the link. Related Episodes: 441: The 4 Types of Self-Care Every Mom Needs // Mia Hemstad 437: Boundaries and Emotional Resilience in Motherhood // Dr. Jen Riday 320: Making Space for Self-Care: It Might Not Be As Hard As You Think // Dr. Nicole Sparks Episode Sponsors: Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first set of sheets plus free shipping at BollAndBranch.com/3IN30. Hand Lettered Design: You can get 10% off your order at Hand Lettered Design with the code Rachel10 at checkout. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you have a strong-willed child, you know how much energy they require—and if you have other kids too, you've probably wondered what this dynamic is doing to their siblings. Are they getting lost in the shuffle? Will they resent their brother or sister? Will they resent you? Many parents worry that their quieter child is fading into the background while the spicy one commands all the attention. And even though you're doing your best, it's hard to know how to protect all your kids when one requires so much more support. In this week's episode, I talked with Mary Van Geffen, author of the brand new book Parenting A Spicy One: Raising a Strong-Willed Child Without Breaking Their Spirit or Yours. Mary brings both personal experience as a former spicy child herself and professional expertise as a parenting educator, and she teaches us how to navigate sibling relationships in a way that protects everyone—including the child you might not realize needs protecting. In this episode, you'll learn: 🌶️ Why your "easy" child might be protecting you from their own needs (and what that quietly costs them as they grow up) 🌶️ What your spicy child secretly believes about themselves and their "perfect" sibling—and how it's hurting them both 🌶️ The Home Alone truth about strong-willed kids that changes everything (yes, Kevin McCallister is a spicy one, and we can learn from him) Whether you have a spicy child or not, this conversation will shift how you think about sibling conflict and what it actually takes to protect the relationships between your kids. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: If you're raising a spicy child and want help finding the joy in those big personalities, the Flecks of Gold Journal helps you notice and celebrate what's going right—even on the hard days. Use code 3in30 for 10% off! Related Episodes: 440: How to Parent Strong-Willed Children Without Breaking Their Spirit // Mary Van Geffen 452: You Yelled... Now What? How to Repair and Reconnect // Devon Kuntzman 332: How to Delight in Your Difficult Child Episode Sponsors: Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first set of sheets plus free shipping at BollAndBranch.com/3IN30. Laundry Sauce: For a limited time only, my listeners get 20% off your entire order when you use code 3in30 at LaundrySauce.com. Skylight Calendar: Right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15-inch calendars by going to MySkylight.com/TAKEAWAYS. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices