Shameless Leadership

I recently had 2 People Pleaser relapses. One was just for a day. One was for a couple months. Why is it so hard to stop pleasing all. the. people??? I know that as an Upholder (see article below), being a people pleaser may well be something I always struggle with. But, even if it’s a life long challenge, I will kick off 2017 recognizing where I fell short in 2016. I will recognize what I lost by prioritizing other peoples’ needs before my own.  In 2017 I will: Say NO more Say YES less Stand up for myself Tune in to my body and really listen Push myself to keep firm boundaries around my time, money, space, goals Start following my intuition in terms of where I really want to go in life over the next few years  What will you do to really listen to yourself and your needs as you prepare to enter a new year? Links Mentioned:Article: The Four Tendencies – What Kind of Person Are You?, by Gretchen Rubin Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Nikki Closser is a Seattle and Michigan based photographer and a new mom. She is madly in love with her work and with her baby. Nikki always knew she would be a working mom. She knew her passion for her work would not diminish in motherhood. However, she didn’t expect her passion for motherhood to be so strong. She admits that while she loves her work, motherhood is magical, and she doesn’t know why she put it off for so long. Nikki’s work photographing women is phenomenal. I had the immense pleasure of doing a shoot with her about a year ago and felt an immediate connection to her and everything she stands for in womanhood, entrepreneurship and motherhood (even though she was only a few months pregnant when we met). She also might love wine as much as me – so we’re basically soul mates.  The way Nikki reaches women through photography is breathtaking. Every woman she works with is made to feel like a true supermodel. Nikki is kind and gentle, but assertive and confident in her work, putting women at ease the moment they enter her studio. Doing a shoot with her is an amazing life experience I would recommend to any woman.  Listen in to hear Nikki share:  Here first Mama Bear moment – just seconds after her son was born How she and her husband envisioned and created a travel lifestyle with Van How she dives deep into work and into motherhood – but doesn’t let the two converge   What she sees through her lens as she photographs a woman Why she thinks every woman deserves a lavish photoshoot and gorgeous photos of themselves  Links Mentioned:Nikki Closser: http://nikkiclosser.com/Sue Bryce: http://suebryce.com/Nikki on FacebookNikki on InstagramBook: Monique in the Mango RainsSMA Ep 54: Rebecca Michi Children’s Sleep Consultant  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It is human nature to keep doing the things we’ve done most recently and most frequently.  Showering daily Drinking coffee Getting in a workout Indulging in sugar Drinking that big ass glass of wine  As you build new habits, the same holds true. If you starting getting up early to workout, once you’ve done it a few times (made it recent & frequent), you’re much more likely to keep doing it.  When you are conscious of the concept of recency & frequency, you can really prove your power in establishing new habits. This can be extremely liberating and assist you in building momentum and confidence with new habits and routines.   To improve the recency & frequency of desired behaviors, habits and routines, you can (and should):  Plan behaviors Track behaviors as you do them Track wins Plan rewards Self Monitor Always practice discomfort  Listen in to hear how to implement all this and use it in the final weeks of 2016 and as you cruise into 2017.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

3 years ago Debbie and her family moved from Seattle to the Netherlands. At that time, Debbie and her husband made the decision to homeschool their son Asher, who is “differently wired”. Asher is profoundly gifted and has ADHD and Aspergers. He is extremely intelligent, curious and compassionate – in short, an amazing kid.  When Debbie decided to homeschool Asher, she stepped aside from her traditional author role and began a authoring a new story – the story of the life she and Asher were building as they navigated through the huge transitions of an international move and A LOT of togetherness in their homeschooling adventure.  Through this journey Debbie and Asher created TiLT – an incredible online resource for families with differently wired kids.  Listen in to hear Debbie share: The advantages and challenges of homeschooling a differently wired child (in a new country) The power of personal development for kids – and how to get them started How to lean in to your child’s uniqueness rather than fight it or try to fix it Steps to creating an impenetrable bond with your child who is differently wired than you   Links Mentioned:SMA Ep 59: How to Create Your Own Miracle Morning Carol Dweck’s TED Talk: “The Power of Believing That You Can Improve”TiLT Parenting: http://www.tiltparenting.comTiLT Parenting on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/tiltparentingDebbie’s Author Site: http://www.debbiereber.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The holidays can be fun. So fun.  Friends. Family. Food. Drinks.  Giving and receiving.  Joy and magic. The holidays can also be stressful, isolating, depleting and sad. Loss, regret, and defeat can feel amplified at this time of year.  Whether you are filled with holiday cheer or trudging through the days with holiday blues, here are 6 ways your can have happier holidays: Give Have a budget Be ok with ok  Rewrite history  Create moments that can become traditions Know thy family Plan your partying  You can read the full show notes at www.shamelessmom.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Michelle Duncan-Wilson became a mom for the first time at 17 years old. She now has a 17 year old daughter and two sons, ages 8 and 3.  Michelle will tell you she was “not meant to be a mother”. While she is now thriving it took her years to arrive. She had to find her mothering soul and give it some room to grow.  In this episode Michelle shares:  What life was like as a teen mom How she crammed 40 years of life experience into her first 25 years of life What she wants her 17 year old daughter to know about being a 17 year old mom How motherhood has been different, but not easier, in her thirties Why we are not meant to mold our children, but to accept them in any shape they are Why mothering pain is not for nothing How she is currently thriving in “evolution through motherhood”   Links Mentioned:Michelle’s Website: soulworkformoms.comFacebook Group: soulworkformoms.com/communityInstagram: @soulworkformomsBook: Carry On, Warrior by Glennon Doyle MentonBook: Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle MeltonBook: Tears to Triumph by Marianne WillamsonBook: Shift into Freedom by Loch Kelly  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It is so easy to get stuck in our old stories:  I can’t find a husband because of my daddy issues. I will never be fit because of my family genetics. I will never make very much money because no one in my family makes very much money.  I’ll never go to college because we can’t afford it and no one in my family has gone to college. I can’t start my own business because I don’t know anything about business. My life will never feel complete with just one child – I’ll always feel a sense of loss over this.   I have told myself some of these stories. I have seen others tell themselves some of these stories.  We get stuck in our stories and don’t progress in certain areas of our lives because we are COMMITTED to our stories. We can see past them, or around them, or through them.  But, the truth???  You can find the man of your dreams. You can get in amazing shape. You can make unlimited amounts of money. You can go to college – and grad school. You can start your own business. You can be 100% happy and fulfilled with just one child.   To create a new story, you have to start changing the conversation in your head. You have to start talking to yourself differently. You have to be open to new and different influences. You have to be open to growth and discomfort to find the magic that lies juuuust outside your current comfort zone. Our old stories are comfortable and familiar – which is why we hold them close to our hearts.  By getting challenging yourself to get a little uncomfortable in new conversations with yourself, you will push you right through your old stories and into new ones that will change your attitude. Your new attitude will change your behavior. You new behavior will change your outcomes. Your new outcomes will change your reality.  Start telling yourself new stories.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kathy Fettke didn’t set out to build an empire. But when her husband’s major health scare threatened to cripple their families financial situation, she did got to work…. She rented out rooms in their family home to pay the mortgage. She started cold calling people who might sponsor her radio show. She forged ahead and created a path that lead her family to financial freedom. Now she educates others how to do the same.  Listen in to hear Kathy share: how her breakdown lead to a breakthrough how she serves others by offering hope Tips for tapping into your higher self (like Heart Math) The importance of being guided by your values and your vision Whether or not you should buy a house right now The power of small real estate investments  How rentals can make you rich The direction she sees the housing market heading in the next 4 years  Links Mentioned:Book: Retire Rich with RentalsWebsite: RealWealthNetwork.comHeart Math: https://www.heartmath.com/  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is my birthday! On one’s birthday, one should wear a unicorn onesie and drink from a jeroboam (4 bottles of wine in one big ass bottle). #truth I planned a few ways to kick off my 41st year. Cause let’s be honest, after you have kids, the only birthday celebrations you’re gonna get are the ones you plan yourself. I mean, my 4 year old would love to throw me a party – but I think we all know he’s better at throwing a tantrum than a party… Plus, the magic to planning your own birthday is that you get to do any damn thing you want, right? Listen in to hear what I planned for myself! It is also Thanksgiving week. We’ll talk about my Thanksgiving blueprint here - how to navigate the food and the family drama. There can be so much of both… I’m also sharing some listener emails with you. Getting your messages is magic to me. I love reading your stories and hearing how the Shameless Mom Academy has impacted you. Thank you to everyone who has written to me. I adore you. And special thanks to Shameless Moms Audra, Patty and Jessica, who let me share their letters today.  Lastly, in this week of giving thanks, know that I’m so thankful for all you mamas who make up The Shameless Mom Academy. You are my people. xoxo Links Mentioned:Facebook: The Shameless Mom Academy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Cierra Seay is an entrepreneur running multiple business and the host of The College Dropout Podcast”. She believes there are many roads to success and we don’t need to be limited by a traditional path.  Cierra is also the mother to two little boys, Christian and Caleb. When Christian was just 1 year old, Cierra unexpectedly lost her mother and grandmother, the two most significant women in her life. Of course, this shook her to her core. For about a year and a half after these losses, she told everyone, “I’m fine.” And then she found herself not fine at all.  Listen in to hear Cierra share about her loss & grief, how she coped, and how she has come out stronger on the other side of grief. She also shares what she learned from her mother and grandmother and how she is living these lessons and passing them along to her boys.  Links Mentioned:Podcast: The College Dropout PodcastBook: Greatness Is Upon YouCierra on FacebookCierra on Instagram  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices