Shameless Leadership

Laura Vanderkam is the author of several time management books, including Off the Clock, I Know How She Does It, and 168 Hours. Her TED talk, "How to gain control of your free time," has been viewed more than 7 million times. She is the co-host, with Sarah Hart-Unger, of the podcast Best of Both Worlds. She lives outside Philadelphia with her husband and four children, and blogs at LauraVanderkam.com. Laura sent me a copy of Off The Clock and I could not put it down. The stories were so compelling and her tactics around time management made me straight up PUMPED UP about being a better time manager in order to create more time in my life and more space in my head. Take notes on this episode. There are so many fantastic pointers! Listen in to hear Laura share: The secrets of people who have all the time in the world How a mom or 18-month-old triplets created 3 hours of personal time for herself #everydamnday What she learned from time tracking her habits for 8,784 hours How to change your perspective on time and immediately have more time in your day How to better prioritize time for things you actually enjoy Why checking our phones makes us feel like we have less time How to use memories to expand the time Why you should plan your upcoming weeks on Friday and not Sunday (or Monday!) Links Mentioned: Connect with Laura: Laura Vanderkam Tune into Laura’s podcast: Best of Both World Laura on Facebook Laura on Twitter Laura on Instagram Thank you to our sponsors:Headspace: If you’ve been wanting to add mediation to your life, check out the Headspace app and get a free month trial at Head Space. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you are a perfectionist or recovering perfectionist, motherhood might just kick your butt in the worst ways. Motherhood requires you to give up control of everything: when you eat when you sleep when you shower how clean your house is when you get your work done how to manage others (babies are not manageable, neither are husbands) how to manage emotions (cause an exhausted, hormonal mama has no emotional regulation) how your body looks/feels You can’t control any of it AND you’re supposed to be actually enjoying some of it. WHAT? HOW???Adaptability is the gift of motherhood. But, I’ll be the first to tell you it does not feel like a gift to a Type A perfectionistic kinda gal. Adaptability might be your worst life skill. In fact, if you dislike spontaneity, last minute change of schedules, going with the flow, figuring things out on the fly, motherhood will knock you down. And you won’t be able to get back up until you learn to become more adaptable. No one tells you about the very necessary skill of motherhood. You just see everyone around you being all adaptable and you’re thinking, “how the hell do they do it?”How do other moms not lose their minds when naptime doesn’t happen?How do other moms keep their cool when they have to cancel something fun because of a sick kid or a massive tantrum?How do other moms go with the flow and take the punches so effortlessly?Some of them do not control freaks by nature like you and me. And some of them have learned to lean into the unpredictability of motherhood – which I know sounds just awful, but it’s actually really helpful. Improving your adaptability will help you enjoy motherhood and get out of your own way when things change on a dime (like every hour of #everydamnday.) Listen in to hear how you can start taking small steps to become more adaptable and start building confidence around your ability to go with the flow like all your zen mama friends.Links Mentioned: Get on the Wait List for Shameless Mom Con in Seattle, WA: Shameless Mom Join me at Inspired Mama in Grand Haven, MI Thank you to our sponsors: Betabrand: Get 20% off the most comfy Dress Pant Yoga Pants ever at Beta brand. Lola: Get organic cotton tampons and other hygiene products delivered right to your door. To get 40% off all subscriptions, go to My Lola and use the code SHAMELESS40 at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m so excited to welcome Shannon Jamail back to the SMA. I invited Shannon to come back to the show because I wanted to talk about her book, Surrender. In the book, she shares how she conscientiously moved out of fear, anxiety, stress, negative thinking, judgment, and imposter syndrome and into forgiveness, surrender, love, joy, and purpose.Every chapter has a powerful story/experience from Shannon’s life, coupled with her lessons learned and actionable steps that are very accessible to the reader (you and me!)I found the book to be so helpful to me, especially when it comes to forgiveness and moving forward from the stuckness that old resentments keep you in.Listen in to hear Shannon share: How she had to apply her own principles of SURRENDER to her own life after she burned down her own kitchen (literally) How to embrace and move through anxiety and shift into a “Do it afraid” mindset How to move past resentment and into forgiveness in family relationships Active steps to forgiving someone How to more actively choose LOVE in your life and the universal truths to choosing love Links Mentioned:Connect with Shannon: Mind-Body Complete (use the code SHAMELESS10 to save 10% off Shannon’s shop/book/retreats!) Shannon on Facebook Shannon on Instagram  Shannon’s podcast, Happy Hour with Shannon and Dee Shannon on Twitter Shannon on LinkedIn Thank you to our sponsors: Talkspace: to find your perfect match therapist for a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy, go to Talkspace and use the code SHAMELESS at checkout to save $45 off your first month. Fabfitfun: To get $10 off your first subscription box (making it only $39.99 for $200 worth of products) go to Fabfitfun and use the code SHAMELESS at checkout.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I have to laugh as I was recording this episode because I kept accidentally saying “the motherload” every time I went to say “the mental load of motherhood”. And let’s be honest. The mental load of motherhood is THE MOTHERLOAD. The Motherload (aka the mental load of motherhood) includes the 175 running lists you keep in your head in every single moment of #everydamnday. It includes: every school form you need to sign tonight how much creamer you have left in the fridge how many rolls of TP you have in the house when you need to call your mom what bills you need to pay by next Wednesday when the kids have their next day off school every single email you need to reply to today and which ones can wait until tomorrow what time the babysitter is coming on Friday which hotel you need to book for spring break which of your kid’s friends can’t have peanuts which of your kid’s friends you need to buy bday gifts for which socks your kid will NOT wear how many pairs of clean undies every single person in the household has left before you have to do laundry again what you’re having for dinner tonight and tomorrow and the next night and the next night and the next night and the next night which kid will eat crusts which kid will eat carrots which water bottle the kid will drink out of which water bottle the kid won’t drink out of You are a damn library of information. You are basically hosting your own world wide web in your head. It’s a lot. It’s too much.It’s maddening.And sometimes it feels SUPER unfair.The Motherload is exhausting on so many levels. I want to give you some hope. But I’m going to warn you that this will require some work on your part. But the work will be REWARDING. The work will lessen the load!When it comes to The Motherload, we tend to make it really hard on ourselves. We get in our own way over and over. We get stuck in perfectionism and martyrdom and make ourselves miserable. Listen in as I give you 4 methods to manage the madness. These methods are simple (although not necessarily easy if you’re Type A like me) and they are going to dramatically improve your life and create space in your head (who doesn’t need more space in their head?!) Links Mentioned:Join me for Inspired Mama in Grand Haven, MI on March 23rd: Inspired Mama Thank you to our sponsors: Third Love: To find the perfect fitting bra and get 15% off your first purchase got to Third Love Instacart: Get your groceries delivered to your door! Save $10 off your first order at Instacart or on the Instacart mobile app when you use the promo code SHAMELESS10 at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Rachel Steinman is the debut author of “Inherited: An Insane Family Memoir,” coming out soon. Described as a literary Jackie Collins, Rachel’s writing is steamy and confessional while remaining poignant and inspirational. Rachel received her Bachelor's in Psychology from UC Santa Barbara and her Masters in Education from UCLA. She’s written a treatment for a TV series based on her book and is working on adapting the story to become a serial podcast. When she’s not writing personal essays, she's writing editorial copy part-time for a luxury lifestyle business. Rachel lives in Los Angeles with her Internet marketing genius and hilarious husband, their athletic, musical and bright teenage daughters (13 and 16), and their ridiculously cute rescue puppy.I reached out to Rachel after she shared part of her story in a Facebook group we’re in. She shared that she was writing a memoir about four suicides in her family and her path to mental health advocacy. Rachel’s family story is tragic, but not without some valuable lessons. And her journey in uncovering the layers of her family story is beyond compelling. I am so grateful she agreed to come on the show and share her story with us.Listen in to hear Rachel share: How she found her grandfather’s unfinished memoir that told the story of 4 family suicides How learning her family history helped her destigmatize mental illness The importance of teaching your kids about their families stories, traumas, and risk factors How family trauma becomes a part of our DNA How she faced her family after writing about their darkest moments – and strengthened strained relationships Links Mentioned: Find Rachel’s writing on Medium Rachel Steinman Follow Rachel on Twitter Connect to resources at The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): NAMI Thank you to our sponsors: Hello Fresh: Save $80 off your first month of meals by visiting Hello Fresh and entering the promo code SHAMELESS80 at checkout. Hourglass Cosmetics: Get free shipping with your purchase of a full sized Caution Mascara at Hourglass Cosmetics and use the promo code SHAMELESS at checkout. Instacart: Get your groceries delivered to your door! Save $10 off your first order at Instacart or on the Instacart mobile app when you use the promo code SHAMELESS10 at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m not gonna sugar coat it. You will have hard days. Like, curl up in a ball and cry hard days. Like lay on the floor kicking and screaming hard days. Like, lose your cool with your kids hard days. Like, hate your husband hard days. Like you want to throw your coffee in your co-workers face hard days.It’s going to happen. And here’s the deal.You can handle it. You can do hard things.You are resourceful and resilient.You have superpowers.You can make magic happen.But without firmly believing in these 5 things, you won’t be able to turn your hard days around. You must firmly believe you can change the course of your day. You must deeply connect to your ability to shift your own narrative and trajectory in the middle of your hardest moments. This takes some work - and a lot of practice. The good news is that the chaos of kids gives you plenty of opportunities to practice, right?? So, don’t worry, you have plenty of time to become an expert Terrible Day Turn Arounder.In this episode, my very special guest Vinnie Dean joins me to talk about our recent opportunity to turn around a terrible day. It was a hard day, friends. There were a lot of tears. We were both exhausted and shaken – unsure we could change the course of the day (and it was only 10 am). But WE DID IT.I talk you through how Vinnie and I turned our day around as well as 6 tips you can put in your back pocket for the next time you need to turn around a terrible day.Links Mentioned:Join me at Inspired Mama on March 23rd: Inspired MamaThank you to our sponsors: Bioclarity: Go to Bio Clarity and use the code SHAMELESS at checkout to get your free clarifying masque when you purchase a skincare routine. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

By age 28, Nicole Walters was a highly-paid executive at a Fortune 500 company, managing multibillion-dollar accounts. But something wasn’t right. “My job was feeding my family, but not my soul,” she says. So in YRTK, Nicole quit her corporate job to open her own business and product development consulting firm, The Monetized Life. As her audience ramped up, so did her revenue—she made $11,000 in the first three weeks of working with small business clients full time. Now, when she’s not hanging out with her husband and their three adopted kids, she shares her secrets to earning “passive income” with other entrepreneurs through her wildly popular online course, 1K1Day. “I teach people how to add commas to their bank accounts,” says Nicole. “They learn that they don’t have to trade time for money.”I discovered Nicole on Instagram and was immediately drawn to her story of becoming an unexpected overnight Shameless Mom to 3 sweet daughters. I am so excited to share her Shameless story with you all!Listen in to hear Nicole share: How she became an unexpected, overnight mom to 3 daughters The boundaries she built around her commitment to motherhood, even before she knew she would become a legal guardian to her daughters The hilarious and brilliant ways she shows up (sometimes virally) to motherhood How and why she quit her corporate job online, in front of 10,000 people Her secrets to building a multi 7 figure business Links Mentioned: Connect with Nicole: tv Nicole on Facebook Nicole on Instagram Nicole on Periscope Nicole on Youtube Nicole on Twitter Thank you to our sponsors: Talkspace: to find your perfect match therapist for a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy, go to Talk space and use the code SHAMELESS at checkout to save $45 off your first month. For 50% off your first month of personalized care/of vitamins, visit Take Care of and enter the code SHAMELESS at checkout. Simple Health: Find a better way to get birth control – delivered right to your door. Go to Simple Health or use the code SHAMELESS at checkout to have your $20 prescription fee waived. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I recently had a conversation with a group of women about the secrets we hold and how they hold us back. Truth be told, a lot of women hold onto secrets for the better part of their lives - and these secrets cripple us in multiple areas our lives. If you have been holding onto a family secret since you were a little girl, there is a part of you who is stuck in the body and mind of that little girl. Holding on to secrets and not allowing ourselves to process and heal from them can arrest our development and impede our ability to deeply connect with others.When we start to share our secrets with trusted people we experience freedom, healing, relief, and power. And we often find that our secrets were not as big as we let them become in our own minds. When you share your secrets in groups of women, you’ll quickly learn that everyone has secrets, stories, and experiences that have felt crippling to them at certain times in their lives. And when we start sharing these stories, we begin to heal and we allow ourselves to connect more deeply in our relationships with others - win/win!In this episode, I’m going to share with you a series of secrets that other women have allowed me to share, as well as a few of my own. I think you’ll see through these examples how your sharing your secrets can set you FREE and allow you to be more SEEN - which can be life-changing.Thank you to our sponsors: Butcherbox: For $20 off your first box and 2lbs of FREE salmon go to Butcher Box shameless and use the code SHAMELESS at checkout to save $20 off your order and get 2 lbs of FREE ground beef in every box for the life of your subscription! Instacart: Get your groceries delivered to your door with free delivery on your first order when you go to Instacart or use the free mobile Instacart app and use the promo code SHAMELESS at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As the founder of Stack-It! Mamas, Rose Wetzel loves empowering women when they feel most vulnerable – after giving birth (at least that’s when SHE felt most vulnerable). A personal trainer and professional athlete (obstacle course racing, specializing in Spartan Races and American Ninja Warrior), Rose has to stay fit for her livelihood (getting paid to work out sounds nice, right?), but after a post-delivery complication/emergency surgery set her back many months, she had to start from scratch to rebuild her fitness, while working through postpartum depression, and worrying about her husband’s rare cancer returning. (It hasn't!)She tried all the tools in her trainer toolbox, but when she didn’t get efficient results, she got creative…until one day something clicked. In fact, it worked so well that not only did she get her strength and career back on track, but she realized her new calling: to focus on helping women feel fit, energetic, and confident after having a baby, AND make sure their results lasted. Her new method, call the Stack-It! Method flips traditional fitness on its head - helping you restore your energy through self-care routines that involve habits other than working out - like baths and rest!Rose and I worked together as personal trainers years ago, and the minute I found out she was pregnant, I told her she had to come on the show one day. I could not be more excited to share her story with you for our 300th episode!Listen in to hear Rose share: How being the youngest daughter of 9 kids shaped her life Her rock bottom postpartum moment she took to Facebook live to share with the world How she clawed her way out of postpartum depression and back to the podium The impact of childbirth and motherhood on the life of a professional athlete Her mindset resets around not reaching her biggest goals in the last year How she’s preparing for her upcoming year of racing and American Ninja Links Mentioned: Join my Plan & Prep Pajama Party: Pajama Party Connect with Rose: Rose Wetzel Join the Stack-It! Mamas FB group Follow Rose on Facebook Follow Rose on Instagram Rose’s husband Tim’s Blog: Race Sherpa Rises Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you are a high achiever, or a perfectionist, or prone to anxiety or depression, you likely already feel totally behind on your New Year’s goals/resolutions. I am with you. As a high achiever prone to anxiety it’s easy for me to feel totally behind if I haven’t met three new goals by January 2nd at noon. So, we’re in this together.Let me help you out…..You are not behind. You are right where you’re meant to be.In today’s episode, I’m going to walk you through 5 uncommon & unconventional but super effective New Year’s practices that will help you exhale and allow you to create space for everything you truly want in 2019.I’m going to give you a sneak peek at these 5 practices, but you also must listen in so you can see how these practices will be the most useful and effective for you!5 Uncommon, Unconventional, but Super Effective New Year’s Practices: Don’t start anything new on January 1 Spend some time with your calendar Spend more time listening than planning Don’t start with goals, start with dream lists (this is *magic*) Plan small, even tiny, action steps - not leaps On top of this deep dive into these 5 practices, I also give you 5 DO NOT DO practices that will probably clear a ton of negative space in your head, in order to make space for GREATNESS in 2019. You ready???Links Mentioned:Join me for my 2019 Plan & Prep Pajama Party: shamelessmom.com/pajamapartyThank you to our sponsors: com: Save 30% off your Care.com Premium Membership by going to Care. Beachbody On Demand: Start your free trial and get access to their 14 days results plan when you text SHAMELESS to 303030. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices