Shameless Leadership

Uzma Jafri grew up in Houston, the daughter of Muslim immigrants from Pakistan and India. Coming from a traditional Muslim family and being unapologetically Muslim, while still identifying with American culture, made Uzma hyperaware of the dangers that arise when people conflate culture and religion. Today, Uzma is a physician running her own practice in Phoenix, medical director of an assisted living and hospice agency, and clinical faculty to future physicians. Uzma’s most important full-time job is that of mom to her 4 kids.  Zaiba Hasan is an American Muslim who grew up biracial and bicultural. Born and raised in Chicago, Zaiba’s Irish/Pakistani heritage and interfaith upbringing gave her a head start on navigating between identities. She is frequently invited to speak at interfaith events since her background makes her a natural at bridging gaps between Muslims and non-Muslims in the United States. When she isn’t busy with podcasting, public speaking, fostering an interfaith community, or working on her Master’s Degree & Parent Coaching Certification, Zaiba can be found with her husband and their four children at one of their sporting events.I am so honored to have Uzma and Zaiba on the show, as this is a critically important conversation for those who want to be true allies to our Muslim friends, neighbors, and community members.Listen in to hear Uzma and Zaiba share: The story of how two Muslim friends who hadn’t seen each other in 20 years decided to launch a podcast together How Zaiba’s son being stopped at an airport as a 14-year old Muslim boy inspired their show, Mommying While Muslim How creating a community and resource for Muslim moms ended up attracting a lot of white moms and evangelical men and the value of creating a space where listeners feel like they can be a fly on the wall with two Muslim moms The significance of being in the last pre 911 generation of Muslims in America The racial and religious profiling that happened and continues to happen post 911 How we expand our capacity to connect as humans when we listen in to the stories of people who are unlike us Links mentioned: Join Momentum Mamas: shamelessmom.com/momentum Subscribe to the Podcast: Mommying While Muslim Learn more about Uzma and Zaiba: mommyingwhilemuslim.com Reach out to Uzma and Zaiba: salam@mommyingwhilemuslim.com Uzma and Zaiba on IG Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s not ok.Mothers need mentorship. Desperately. And we’re not getting it - anywhere, really.Because as a culture we leave moms to fend for themselves with ridiculously frugal resources to support their physical and mental health in the early years of motherhood, most moms are left feeling lonely and isolated as they care for their babies. Sometimes desperately so. And they have nowhere to turn.In the absence of mentorship, moms feel like they are failing, like everyone else has it all figured out and they just need to “be strong” or pull themselves up by their bootstraps. There is no guidance, let alone connection, companionship or camaraderie for struggling moms. There is no clear path through hard days or hard seasons. There is no normalization of how incredibly hard motherhood is. There are plenty of beautiful instagram accounts that suggest you should be camera ready at all times and be hustling to post all your baby’s milestones and all your career wins, but no permission for you to be chronically overwhelmed and overstimulated, exhausted to the point of disorientation, disconnected to your former sense of self to the point of major anxiety and/or depression.ENOUGH ALREADY.In today’s episode, I break down what moms are missing out on when they don’t have mentorship, the harm we perpetuate as a society that doesn’t prioritize mother’s needs and 5 ways for you to find the connection and mentorship you’re likely craving.Link mentioned:Get SMA updates and an invitation to Momentum Mamas: shamelessmom.com/newsletter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sandra is a mom of a 6 year old and an 8 year old. She is the owner of Family Personalities and the co-host of the Family Personalities podcast, a show that brings personality type models into parenting. If this conversation fascinates you as much as it does me, definitely go subscribe to her show! Sandra uses her experience and training in Myers-Briggs personality type, to work with families, helping them parent more effectively and compassionately based on their children's unique wiring and needs.I am obsessed with personality types. I believe that knowing your type gives you so much power to lean into who you truly are in all the best ways possible. This was a fantastic and deeply insightful conversation all around how knowing our personality type and our kid’s personality types can be hugely beneficial and helpful in supporting our kid’s needs. Listen in to hear Sandra share: How to use the Myers-Briggs to understand how you make decisions, how you get energy, how you take in information How to best figure out your Myers-Briggs type - outside of standard assessments Why is super valuable to know your kids type in order to see some of their “harder” behaviors in a positive light How to use your child’s type to motivate them  Her experience of struggling to “go with the flow” when enduring 4 miscarriages and really looking at her type to learn how to step away in order to see the bigger and pivot  Learning about the NJ superpower: gleaning insight, taking in data/info and curating it to create something bigger Links mentioned Connect with Sandra: familypersonalities.com Sandra on IG Sandra on FB Family Personalities Podcast: familypersonalities.com/podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It is highly likely there are some messages you have internalized from your childhood that still have a stronghold on you. These may have been explicit messages shared by friends and family members or maybe quiet, subtle, more insidious messages that became a part of who you are without you even realizing it. Whatever the case may be, these messages are holding you back. They are half truths at best and harmful lies at worst. They likely keep you stuck in self criticism, self doubt, and frequent not-enoughness. These messages have likely created feedback loops in your brain that tell you stories and keep you repeating patterns that don’t serve you and possibly even bring you great struggle. In this episode I share three messages that I carried from my childhood: People can leave at any moment. And some people might not know how to love you. Your body size is a reflection of your worth. Smaller is always better.  There are barely enough resources to get by. If anything unexpected happens, there won’t be enough. These messages wove their way into my life in a variety of ways - some through observation, some were verbalized to me, and some were overheard (as I was/am a world class eavesdropper.) I am sharing these 3 messages with you because it is likely you can relate to at least one of them. And you can also probably think of a few more that are unique to you. If you carry messages like these with you and keep listening to them you will constantly struggle to see potential and possibility in your life. As we enter another season of uncertainty in the world, we can’t afford to carry messages that compromise possibility and potential. So, I’m going to invite you to change your messaging and your thought loops - starting now. Link mentionedJoin my 2022 Plan & Prep Pajama Party: shamelessmom.com/pajamaparty Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Eliza Reynolds is a best-selling author, speaker, and professional big sibling who keeps it real. She’s spent the last 15 years creating space for preteen and teen girls to be their authentic selves, and now offers online mentorship programs teaching emotional intelligence, embodiment, body literacy, and more for big-hearted preteen and teen girls who are tired of faking it at Badass Girls. I have a number of friends who have teen girls. I’m learning a lot about this world and - WOW - there is a lot to learn. I’m so grateful to Eliza for her generous work. And I’m very inspired to work on my own inner teen work. I didn’t realize that I had some stuff to heal until Eliza pointed it out. I hope you’ll join me in this venture, as I think it could be critical to our parenting.Listen in to hear Eliza The importance of doing our own inner teen work in order to support teens in our lives The importance of socializing girls to trust themselves Why we need to talk about the most intense parts of being a teen openly rather than shying away from it - like we probably did back when we were teens How we can heal our own inner teen in order to help the teens in our lives How to self regulate as a mom so you can respond rather than react in hard moments of parenting The steps of moving from dependence to interdependence to independence in parenting The 3 S’s of toxic mean girl culture How toxic mean girl culture is still alive and well among grown women - and why it exists beyond the teen years Why #girlpower is a weary anthem that we need to replace with actual action steps to dismantle systems of oppression and build actual self trust Why performative confidence is dangerous and damaging 3 ways for any mom to show up for preteen and teen girls in your family and community Links mentioned: Sign up for my Plan & Prep Pajama Party Connect with Eliza: me Book: Hold On To Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Kids by Gordon Neufeld Eliza on IG: @badassgirls.parents and @badassgirls.me Free Resource: Badass Girls Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Happy 2022! As you take your first steps into this new year, I want to invite you to NOT leap into 18 resolutions that only last for 18 days. Instead, I’m going to offer you a more simple and more enjoyable alternative that will allow you to actually get what you want out of 2022 without complete overwhelm and massive risk of failure. Here’s how this is going to go… As you prepare to own 2022, I want you to make repeated small commitments over time. Here is a simple protocol to help you get started with your first desired action step: Decide small action step you want to take Schedule it Share it with others Practice it repeatedly Recognize that each time you practice this, it is becoming more a part of who you are Continually return to your core values - remembering that you are an action taker who takes small steps over and over and that is part of your SECRET SAUCE for cultivating courage and growth In this episode, I walk you through this process step by step with examples to help you see exactly what it takes to step into more courageous action and exactly how life changing these practices can be. Links mentioned:LAST CHANCE for Early Bird Registration for my 2022 Plan & Prep Pajama Party: shamelessmom.com/pajamaparty Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Joree Rose, MA, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist, mindfulness and meditation teacher, coach, author, speaker, and she also leads mindfulness retreats around the world. Joree has helped thousands of people to live happier and more fulfilling lives through living with greater awareness and compassion, allowing them to decrease their stress, anxiety and shed unhealthy habits, patterns, and mindsets. Joree is host of the podcast ‘Journey Forward® with Joree Rose’ and has authored the newly released A Year of Gratitude, Daily Moments of Reflection, Grace and Thanks as well as 2 mindfulness books, Squirmy Learns to be Mindful and Mindfulness, It’s Elementary. Joree has been featured in prominent media outlets such as Oprahmag.com, NBCnews.com, Business Insider, KTLA News, and so many more!I was recently a guest on Joree’s podcast and within the first few minutes of that conversation I knew I had to ask her to join us here/ I’m so glad she said YES. This is a fascinating and important conversation into the importance of recognizing all the dynamics at play with multiple generations of our families.Listen in to hear Joree share: How she’s navigating this season of her teen daughters getting ready to leave home and the evolving framework of her family shifting  The utter joy and devastation of your children growing up How to recognize transgenerational patterns of over-enmeshment with your family and how to start to build healthier boundaries How her mom’s family trauma led to transgenerational over-enmeshment and codependency - which was necessary for survival at one time, but dysfunctional over the course of generations How she recognized her patterns of needing to create safety and security in order to “be happy” Why she had the courage to get divorced How she shifted the way she saw her entire world through adopting a mindfulness practice Links mentioned: Sign up for my Plan & Prep Pajama Party Connect with Joree: Joree Rose Podcast: Journey Forward with Joree Rose Joree on IG Joree on FB Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In those first few months after becoming a mom, you start to feel like all your other identities are being stripped away. 97% of your attention goes to this baby and the other 3% is spread across your past identities like partner, friend, employee, athlete, artist, free spirit, independent woman - where you feel like you’re only showing up as a shell of your former self in any of these formerly cherished roles.  It took me a few years to figure out who I was beyond a mom. There was no going back to my old roles and identities because some just didn’t fit anymore and the ones that did still fit were dressed totally differently and felt so unfamiliar.Yes, I was still a wife, but in an “I love you and can we not talk because I’m too tired to talk or listen” kinda way.Yes, I was still a business owner, but in a “cut-to-the-chase, I only have time for the essentials” kinda way..Yes, I was still a daughter, but in an “I can call you at nap time, and can only talk for 20 minutes because I also have to shower, eat lunch, prep dinner, do laundry, and clean the freaking breast pump parts” kinda way.As I came out of this new mom fog (which took a solid 3 years, btw), I started to catch glimpses of who I was becoming: A business owner who could move mountains with very little sleep A daughter with healthier boundaries A wife who could relax and have fun and talk about something other than the baby. A friend who was ready for new friend adventures.   A colleague who was a fantastic listener and advisor.  A storyteller who could make people laugh and cry on demand.  A coach who could help people see their own power in their lowest moments. An athlete who could dump 2 hour workouts of the past and squeeze in 20 minutes of sweat to feel like a total badass on any given day.  A student open to learning about the world and all people in new and different ways.   In this episode, I share how understanding the evolution of my identity (or rather identities) made a huge difference in my ability to show up for my life and really build a life I love that, yes, includes motherhood, but is not only about motherhood. Links Mentioned:Register for my Plan & Prep Pajama Party Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Elizabeth Milovidov is a lawyer from California, a law professor in Paris, France, and a Digital Safety Consultant in Europe. Using her European/American focus on Internet, technology, and social media issues, she researches solutions to empower parents to guide their children in the digital age. She is the founder of DIGITALEM, a website, and community with resources and strategies for parents. Currently, she is an independent consultant for the Council of Europe (Children’s Rights and Education departments), Microsoft (Digital Safety), Family Online Safety Institute (digital parenting), and e-Enfance (Child online protection). She is an international speaker on digital parenting and safety and her work has been featured in WSJ, BBC, France 24, HuffingtonPost, Internet Matters, and other media outlets and organizations focused on child online safety.Internet safety is such a huge and important topic. I’m so grateful to have Elizabeth here to dig deep into this today.  Listen in to hear Elizabeth share: How she went from being a lawyer to digital safety consulting The grief and growth that motherhood presented her What digital parenting looks like What are Connected Conversations and how to have Connected Conversations with your kids Why 13 is the recommended minimum age for kids to get on social media - and why it should perhaps be 23 if we want to be aligned with full brain development The one question you should go ask your kids about the internet right now How to create space for your child to thrive in the digital environment while keeping risks lower Creating a culture of “shared responsibility” around your child(ren)’s digital use, rather than relying on policing them online Links mentioned: Sign up for my Plan & Prep Pajama Party: shamelessmom.com/pajamaparty Digitalem.org @digiparentcoach Facebook group: Digital Parenting Community Movies: The Social Network, Screenagers Thank you to our sponsor: Talkspace: To match with your perfect therapist for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy, go totalkspace.com, Make sure to use the code SHAMELESS to get $100 off your first month and show your support for the show. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What are the stumbling blocks that are holding you back from starting?More often than we’d like to admit we stop ourselves from starting. We make up all sorts of stories about why now is not the right time, how we’re just not quite ready, how we need more information or skills before we start, how we should wait until we have more time & energy.  Behind these stories are a lot of excuses we make in order to stay in our comfortable bubbles. But, if we’re being really honest with ourselves, we might have to admit that staying in our comfort zones gets pretty uncomfortable after a while. Staying comfortable for too long breeds a new kind of discomfort - regret, resentment, wondering “what if I had just started way back when??”  In today’s episode I talk you through 4 things that are stopping you from starting: Insecurities and the stories you tell yourself as a result of them A lifelong erosion of self trust A lack of connection to your intuition Infrequent practice using your voice and stepping into leadership and into action As we dig into these 4 concepts, it is likely that you’ll be able to connect some dots that will allow you to start taking small steps toward the things you really want, the things you very much deserve and the things you are very much qualified to do.Link mentioned:Sign up for my Plan & Prep Pajama Party   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices