DRIVE TIME DEBRIEF: A Physician Wellness Podcast with The Whole Physician

  Episode Summary: In this episode of DriveTime Debrief, we explore the powerful practice of forest bathing, its scientifically-backed benefits, and how physicians can incorporate it into their busy lives. Originating in Japan in the 1980s, forest bathing, or Shinrin-Yoku, is a nature-immersion technique that has proven benefits for mental health, immune function, and cardiovascular well-being. Discover how spending even 10–15 minutes in nature can help reduce stress, boost immunity, and improve mindfulness. We share actionable tips to make forest bathing part of your routine and discuss how to introduce it to patients as a complementary wellness tool. What You’ll Learn in This Episode: What Is Forest Bathing? Origin: Japanese preventative healthcare practice from the 1980s. Definition: Mindful immersion in nature to engage all the senses. Why It’s Relevant for Physicians: High burnout rates in healthcare. Nature-based therapies as a tool for stress management and mental health support. The Science Behind Forest Bathing: Stress Reduction: 2010 study: Forest bathing lowers cortisol levels, blood pressure, and heart rate. Phytoncides from trees enhance relaxation. Immune Function: Dr. Ching Lee’s research: Forest immersion boosts natural killer cells and immune health. Mental Health: 2019 meta-analysis: Reduces anxiety, depression, and fatigue by fostering mindfulness. Cardiovascular Health: 2011 study: Improves heart rate variability and parasympathetic tone. Practical Applications for Physicians: Micro-Doses of Nature: Visit parks or gardens for 10–15 minutes during breaks or after work. Weekend Retreats: Dedicate time for hiking, camping, or nature immersion. Mindful Nature Walks: Engage senses—listen to leaves, smell evergreens, touch tree bark. Techniques for Forest Bathing: Leave technology behind. Walk slowly with no set destination. Pause to sit, observe, and reflect. Introducing Forest Bathing to Patients: Encourage outdoor time for stress relief. Provide resources like local parks or trails. Share evidence-based benefits to improve adherence. Addressing Barriers: Lack of green spaces: Opt for urban parks, indoor plants, or natural soundscapes. Limited time: Start with brief 5–10 minute sessions. Weekly Homework Challenge: Take 10–15 minutes this week to immerse yourself in nature. Notice how you feel before and after. If you’re unable to get outside, try listening to a natural soundscape or adding greenery indoors. We’d love to hear about your experience! Email us at podcast@thewholephysician.com. Resources Mentioned: Free Video: How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good Without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or Suffering in Silence. Studies referenced (available in the show notes). Connect with Us: If you’re feeling stressed or burned out, schedule a session with one of our physician coaches. You are whole, you are a gift to medicine, and the work you do matters. Tune in Next Week: Join us for another episode focused on practical wellness strategies for busy physicians! Resources: Talk to a physician coach with our complimentary Physician Wellness Triage Free Video: “How to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good) without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or Suffering in Silence.” Park, B.-J., Tsunetsugu, Y., Kasetani, T., Kagawa, T., & Miyazaki, Y. (2010). The physiological effects of Shinrin-yoku (taking in the forest atmosphere or forest bathing): Evidence from field experiments in 24 forests across Japan. Environmental Health and Preventive Medicine, 15(1), 18–26. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12199-009-0086-9 Li, Q. (2010). Effect of forest bathing trips on human immune function. Environmental Health and Preventive Medicine, 15(1), 9–17. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12199-008-0068-3 Kotera, Y., Richardson, M., & Sheffield, D. (2019). Effects of Shinrin-yoku (forest bathing) and nature therapy on mental health: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Frontiers in Psychology, 10, 1–12. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02067 Lee, J., Park, B.-J., Tsunetsugu, Y., Kagawa, T., & Miyazaki, Y. (2011). The restorative effects of viewing real forest landscapes: Based on a comparison with urban landscapes. Scandinavian Journal of Forest Research, 26(3), 227–234. https://doi.org/10.1080/02827581.2011.564567 Hansen, M. M., Jones, R., & Tocchini, K. (2017). Shinrin-Yoku (forest bathing) and nature therapy: A state-of-the-art review. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 14(8), 851. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph14080851

Podcast Show Notes Episode Title: From Pissed Off to Poised: Understanding Anger and Trauma with Dr. Arpita Gupta de Palma Episode Summary: Welcome back to the podcast! Today, we’re thrilled to be joined by Dr. Arpita Gupta de Palma, a pediatrician, trauma-informed physician coach, and podcaster. Dr. Arpita first joined us in 2022 to discuss anger (Episode 37), and now she’s back to dive even deeper into the topic. In this episode, we explore how trauma influences anger responses, why anger can act as an alert system, and how understanding these connections can lead to healthier emotional regulation. Dr. Arpita also shares insights into her new podcast, From Pissed Off to Poised, which combines practical tools for anger and time management. This conversation is packed with relatable examples, actionable strategies, and a generous dose of grace for anyone who struggles with frustration, anger, or the fast pace of life. What You’ll Learn in This Episode: How trauma—past or generational—affects anger and emotional responses. Why anger is an alert system signaling core value violations or perceived threats. The biological and psychological mechanisms behind anger, including the role of the heart-brain connection. Strategies to pause and identify underlying emotions behind anger (e.g., disappointment, fear, or frustration). How anger develops in childhood and how early experiences shape adult reactions. The impact of trauma on leadership and how curiosity can enhance interpersonal dynamics. Key Highlights: Recognizing Trauma as Physicians: Training in medical school, residency, and beyond can carry trauma that shapes how we respond to stress and anger in professional and personal settings. Understanding Anger’s Evolutionary Role: Our brain’s survival mechanisms can confuse emotional threats with physical ones, leading to reactive anger. Generational Trauma: Trauma can be passed down through generations, influencing our responses in ways we might not consciously understand. Transforming Anger: Identifying and naming underlying emotions helps reduce the intensity of anger and shift to more productive reactions. Dr. Arpita Gupta de Palma’s Podcast: From Pissed Off to Poised is a limited-series podcast that explores anger, trauma, and time management. Packed with actionable tips and insights, it’s perfect for anyone looking to better understand their emotions and find practical solutions for managing life’s pressures. Connect with Dr. Arpita: Website: www.thoughtworkmd.com Social Media: @thoughtworkmd Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Dr. Arpita’s Anger and Time Management Courses (thoughtworkmd.com) HeartMath tools for heart-brain coherence Book recommendation: Transforming Anger by HeartMath Join Us for Free Training: Don’t miss our free video training, How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good Without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or Sucking It Up in Silence. Scroll down in the show notes for the link and check it out today! Let’s Keep the Conversation Going: If this episode resonated with you, let us know! Leave a review, give us five stars, and share your thoughts. Your feedback helps more doctors discover the podcast and keeps our ripple effect growing. Closing Thoughts: As Dr. Arpita reminds us, give yourself grace and props for recognizing the need to change how you show up. Anger is a universal experience, and addressing it with curiosity and compassion is the first step toward meaningful transformation. Remember: You are whole, you are a gift to medicine, and the work you do matters. Until next time! Resources: Book a free Physician Wellness Triage session with a physician coach Download our Free Video: How to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good) Arpita’s Website From Pissed Off to Poised Podcast Transforming Your Anger Course   HeartMath

In this episode, we dive into practical and actionable strategies for fostering healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Building on our previous discussions about losing and winning strategies in relationships, we share insights and real-life scenarios to help you create positive connections in your personal and professional life. Key Topics Covered: 1. Radical Self-Acceptance Embrace your strengths, weaknesses, and quirks without judgment or relying on external validation. Learn how self-acceptance fosters authenticity and emotional independence in relationships. 2. Taking Responsibility for Your HappinessDiscover how pursuing personal passions and fulfillment reduces dependency on others and creates balance in partnerships. 3. Practicing Empathy and Compassion Understand how stepping into your partner’s shoes during moments of conflict can de-escalate tensions and build trust. 4. Clear and Kind Communication Learn the importance of directly expressing your needs and avoiding passive-aggressive behavior. Real-life examples of how open communication fosters understanding and collaboration. 5. Setting Healthy Boundaries Understand the importance of protecting your individuality while respecting your partner’s needs. Tips for clearly communicating limits and following through with actions. 6. Quick Conflict Resolution Strategies for repairing relationships after disagreements by prioritizing reconciliation and emotional health. 7. Commitment to Personal Growth Explore the value of self-improvement for fostering mutual respect and reducing recurring issues in relationships. 8. Appreciation and Gratitude Small gestures of gratitude can have a significant impact on building emotional bank accounts and deepening your connection. Highlights and Takeaways: Relationships thrive on intentional effort and growth. Focusing on what *you* can do to implement these strategies benefits not only your relationships but also your personal well-being. Small, consistent changes lead to long-term improvements in your connections with others. Resources:Free Video: How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good Without Cutting Back Hours or Quitting Medicine.Schedule a free session with a physician coach for personalized guidance and support. If you found this episode helpful, leave us a review and a five-star rating! Your feedback helps us reach more listeners and spread valuable insights. Until next time, remember: You are whole, you are a gift to medicine, and the work you do matters.   keywords: relationships, self-acceptance, happiness, emotional independence, personal growth, empathy, communication, boundaries, conflict resolution, personal growth, relationships, gratitude, emotional safety, trust, partnership 

 In this episode, we’re thrilled to welcome Dr. Betsy Grunch, a board-certified neurosurgeon, mom, and social media sensation known as LadySpineDoc. Dr. Grunch shares her incredible journey—from growing up with a single mom, to becoming a leading figure in neurosurgery, to inspiring millions on Instagram and TikTok. She discusses how her mother’s spinal cord injury shaped her path, the importance of creating relatable content online, and how being authentic builds trust with her patients. We also dive into the challenges of medical culture, the toxic training environments many face, and how Dr. Grunch advocates for a more supportive, inclusive, and collaborative workplace. Tune in to hear her thoughts on combating physician burnout, fostering work-life balance, and leading with kindness and humility. What We Cover:  Meet Dr. Betsy Grunch: Her background, neurosurgery career, and family life. The Birth of @LadySpineDoc: How COVID-19 boredom sparked her social media journey. Dr. Grunch’s Story: The life-changing event that led her to neurosurgery. Empowering Women in Surgery: Breaking barriers and being a role model for future female neurosurgeons. Social Media’s Role in Medicine: Engaging patients, fighting misinformation, and showing authenticity. Medical Training Challenges: Insights on toxic cultures, emotional resilience, and advocating for change. Leading with Kindness: Dr. Grunch’s approach to building a supportive office culture. Physician Burnout: The importance of work-life balance and finding outlets outside of medicine. Future of Medicine: How collaboration, kindness, and authenticity can transform medical culture.   Resources and Links: Follow Dr. Betsy Grunch on Instagram and TikTok: @LadySpineDoc Check out our new video: "How to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good)"  https://ladyspinedoc.com ladyspinedoc@gmail.com   Connect with Us: If today’s episode resonated with you, leave us a 5-star review and share your thoughts. We’d love to hear from you! If you'd like a free Physician Wellness Triage session with a physician coach at The Whole Physician, click this link.   Stay Inspired: Until next time, remember—you are whole, you are a gift to medicine, and the work you do matters.

In this episode, Amanda, Laura, and Kendra discuss winning strategies to improve relationships based on the work of renowned marriage therapist Terry Real. They explore how to move away from reactive, self-protective behaviors (losing strategies) and adopt proactive, compassionate approaches to foster deeper connection, trust, and resilience. Key Takeaways: 1. Shift from Complaint to Request:  - Replace complaints with specific, actionable requests. - Example: Instead of "You never help with chores," say, "Would you be willing to handle dishes on weekdays so I can focus on other chores?" - Honoring your partner's ability to choose fosters cooperation. 2. Speak to Repair with Love and Respect:  - Approach conflict resolution with empathy, scheduling focused discussions (e.g., a 10-minute repair conversation). - Use Terry Real's *Feedback Wheel*: - Share what you saw/heard, what it triggered, how you felt, and what you need. - Let go of the outcome to prioritize understanding over "winning." 3. Listen with Compassion:  - Listen to understand, not to counter. - Acknowledge your partner's feelings, even if you don't agree. - Example: "I understand why this feels overwhelming to you." 4. Empower Each Other: - Reinforce teamwork by appreciating contributions. - Offer support when making requests: “Is there anything I can do to make this easier for you?” - Share responsibilities and explore compromises to create balance. 5. Cherish Each Other:  - Practice daily acts of appreciation and positive feedback. - Schedule regular quality time together (e.g., weekly date nights). - Engage in meaningful activities together, like volunteering, to strengthen your bond. **Actionable Challenge:** Choose one winning strategy this week to practice with your partner. Reflect on its impact on your relationship and consider building from there. Resources Mentioned: - Terry Real's book: Us- Free Video: How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good Without Cutting Back Hours or Quitting Medicine.  Final Thoughts:Relationships require effort, but intentional actions like these are investments in a fulfilling partnership. Start small and see the difference! If you found value in this episode, leave us a review and share it with someone who could benefit. Until next time, remember: You are whole, you are a gift, and the work you do matters.   If you'd like a complimentary chat with a physician coach, click the link to book a physician wellness triage session.

In this episode, we tackle a common yet frustrating challenge: indecision. Even as professionals who excel in high-stakes environments, when it comes to personal or career decisions, we often find ourselves paralyzed. Why does this happen? How can we overcome it? Here’s what we cover: - Why indecision is so common – especially for high-achieving professionals accustomed to structured paths. - The psychological underpinnings of indecision, including fear of failure, perfectionism, and a lack of confidence. - Real-life stories of grappling with (and overcoming) decision paralysis. - How cognitive distortions like proportion, temporal, and emotional distortions fuel indecision and keep us stuck. Key Takeaways: 1. Fear is often at the root of indecision—fear of failure, regret, or disappointing ourselves or others. 2. Our brains love the status quo. They resist risk and can blow decisions out of proportion, making them seem impossible or overwhelming. 3. Indecision isn’t permanent. By identifying the root causes and using proven strategies, you can move forward. Practical Solutions for Overcoming Indecision: - Break big decisions into smaller steps. Focus on gathering facts and taking the next right action. - Set deadlines for yourself. Avoid the endless loop of "information gathering" by choosing a reasonable timeframe to decide. - Challenge distortions. Ask yourself: - What's the worst that could happen? - How likely is that to occur? - If it did happen, how would I handle it? - Reframe discomfort as growth. Feeling scared doesn’t mean something is wrong; it often means growth is happening. - Limit outside opinions to trusted sources who align with your values and goals. Special Mention: We discuss insights from Nuala Walsh’s TEDx Talk, including her three types of decision distortions (proportion, temporal, and emotional) and how to combat them. Don’t Miss Our Free Resource! We’ve created a free video just for you: “How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good Without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or Sucking It Up in Silence.” Find the link in the show notes to start reclaiming your joy today! Closing Thoughts: - You are whole. - You are a gift to medicine. - The work you do matters. If this episode resonated with you, please leave us a 5-star review and share your thoughts. Your feedback helps us reach more physicians and make a bigger impact.  TEDx talk: How to Overcome Indecision Our links: How to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good)-free video or speak directly to a coach for FREE: triage session

Welcome back to the podcast! Today, we’re diving into *Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship* by Terrence Real. This book has left a deep impact on all three of us, Amanda, Laura, and Kendra, and we're excited to share key insights on how to foster deeper connections in relationships. 1. The Three Selves in Relationships Terrence Real introduces the concepts of the "Wounded Child," "Adaptive Child," and "Wise Adult" within us. Each part can impact our interactions, especially in times of stress. For example, when stress triggers the Adaptive Child, we might revert to defensive, perfectionistic, or rigid responses, limiting our ability to connect. 2. Moving Toward the Wise Adult The Wise Adult is the part of us capable of emotional regulation, grounded in the present moment, and focused on the “us” in relationships rather than just "me versus you." Practicing "relational mindfulness," as Real describes it, helps us move from reactionary behavior to thoughtful responses that prioritize the relationship. 3. Relational Mindfulness and Power Dynamics Real’s approach encourages moving from a "power-over" to a "power-with" perspective. Relational mindfulness is about becoming aware of our own impulses and prioritizing the relationship ecosystem over individual needs. This doesn’t mean neglecting personal needs but rather not letting those needs dominate interactions. 4. Relational Heroism Real’s wife, Belinda, coined the term "relational heroism" for moments when, instead of defaulting to old habits, we choose connection and insight. This shift from automatic, defensive reactions to thoughtful, relational actions requires self-awareness and discipline. 5. Self-Responsibility and Maturity Maturity in relationships involves taking full responsibility for our actions and emotional triggers. This means acknowledging when we’re operating from an adaptive, defensive place rather than our wise, grounded self. Understanding our reactions and managing triggers is essential for healthier connections. 6. Interpersonal Neurobiology Real touches on the science of how our central nervous system and relationships are deeply intertwined. Our early life experiences shape how we perceive intimacy and connection in adult relationships. Relationships are meant to be a source of co-regulation, enhancing our physical and emotional well-being. 7. The Importance of Connection Real discusses “Social Baseline Theory,” which emphasizes the evolutionary benefits of social connections. These connections help us conserve energy, regulate emotions, and mitigate risk. This need for connection is evident in research on loneliness and isolation, underscoring the importance of close, supportive relationships. 8. Understanding Subjective Reality Real emphasizes that subjective experience is often more important than objective facts. Accepting your partner’s perception of reality can improve understanding and reduce conflict, shifting from a “me versus you” mentality to an “us” mindset. 9. The Framework of Connection True intimacy is built through awareness of each other’s needs, emotions, and triggers. Individuality has its place, but lasting relationships thrive on mutual understanding, shared values, and a focus on connection over competition. Additional Resources and Final Thoughts As we continue our journey through this book, we invite you to explore Real’s work, available in his books, online resources, and YouTube videos. Thank you for joining us today—be sure to check out our new free video linked in the show notes. Remember, you are whole, your gift to medicine is unique, and the work you do matters. https://www.amazon.com/Us-Getting-Build-Loving-Relationship/dp/0593233670 https://terryreal.com/ https://www.youtube.com/@realterryreal Check out our new video, "How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good, without Quitting Medicine, Cutting Back Hours, or Sucking it Up in Silence"-click here!

System-Wide Remedies for Physician Burnout with with Stef Simmons, MD In this episode, Amanda, Laura, and Kendra welcome Dr. Stef Simmons, a board-certified emergency physician and the Chief Medical Officer of the Dr. Lorna Breen Heroes Foundation. Dr. Simmons shares her journey and discusses the critical work of the foundation, created to honor Dr. Lorna Breen, an emergency physician who tragically died by suicide during the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic. Dr. Simmons addresses the systemic issues that contribute to burnout and mental health challenges among healthcare workers and outlines national initiatives, legislative efforts, and resources aimed at supporting well-being in the medical field. Topics Covered: 1. Introduction to Dr. Stef Simmons and the Dr. Lorna Breen Heroes Foundation Dr. Simmons shares her background as an emergency physician and a certified coach. She introduces listeners to the Lorna Breen Heroes Foundation, which she supports as CMO, and provides an overview of the foundation’s mission: preventing healthcare worker suicide and addressing the systemic drivers of burnout. 2. The Story of Dr. Lorna Breen Dr. Simmons recounts the life and legacy of Dr. Lorna Breen, an emergency physician in New York City who faced overwhelming physical and emotional challenges during the COVID-19 pandemic. Despite her dedication, Dr. Breen struggled with stigma around seeking mental health support, ultimately leading to her tragic death. This experience led her family to create the foundation in her honor, sparking national conversations about healthcare worker well-being. 3. The Impact of COVID-19 on Healthcare Workers Dr. Simmons discusses the heightened challenges faced by healthcare professionals during the pandemic, including increased workloads, insufficient resources, and the shift in public perception from admiration to criticism. She highlights how these challenges, along with rapid changes in healthcare delivery, contribute to burnout and mental health issues. 4. Dr. Simmons’ Personal Journey Reflecting on her own experiences with postpartum depression during residency, Dr. Simmons shares how the culture of medicine discouraged seeking mental health care. Her journey led her to roles focused on patient and clinician experience, coaching, and ultimately to her current position with the Dr. Lorna Breen Heroes Foundation. 5. National Efforts to Address Burnout and Mental Health in Healthcare Dr. Simmons outlines national initiatives, including the Dr. Lorna Breen Healthcare Provider Protection Act, which allocates funding to support healthcare worker mental health and well-being programs. She also highlights collaborations between organizations like the AMA, AHA, and ANA, working together to remove stigmatizing language around mental health in credentialing and licensing. 6. The Foundation’s Statewide Collaboratives and Resources Dr. Simmons explains the “All In Caring for Caregivers” initiative, starting in Virginia and expanding to other states. These statewide efforts focus on legislative changes, hospital-level interventions, and support for healthcare worker well-being. Resources include the Impact Wellbeing Guide, which offers steps hospitals can take to support clinicians, reduce burnout, and create healthier work environments. 7. Steps Hospitals Can Take to Support Healthcare Worker Well-being Dr. Simmons shares actionable steps hospitals can take to support their workforce: - Identify and maintain existing positive practices. - Listen to staff and establish an interdisciplinary team to guide well-being initiatives. - Remove stigmatizing language about mental health in credentialing and licensing. - Establish two-way communication between leaders and staff. - Measure and support professional well-being through peer support, enhanced mental health resources, and workload impact assessments. 8. The Importance of Coaching and Mental Health Resources Dr. Simmons and the hosts discuss the role of coaching as a support tool for healthcare workers, emphasizing that while coaching is valuable, it may need to be complemented by other mental health resources. They encourage listeners to advocate for support within their own hospitals, including coaching, therapy, and psychiatric services. 9. Advocacy and the Future of the Dr. Lorna Breen Healthcare Provider Protection Act Dr. Simmons provides an update on the reauthorization of the Dr. Lorna Breen Act and the importance of bipartisan support for ongoing funding and resources. Listeners are encouraged to advocate for the act and spread awareness within their communities. 10. Closing Thoughts Dr. Simmons emphasizes that being a caregiver doesn’t preclude one from being a care receiver and encourages healthcare workers to prioritize their well-being. She reinforces the importance of system-level changes in creating sustainable work environments for clinicians. Resources Mentioned:- The Dr. Lorna Breen Heroes Foundation website: [drbreenheroes.org](http://drbreenheroes.org)- Information on the Dr. Lorna Breen Healthcare Provider Protection Act- Impact Wellbeing Guide and toolkit for hospitals- Champions Challenge Badge for hospitals that remove stigmatizing mental health language from credentialing- The Foundation’s interactive map tracking state and hospital-level policy changes How to Get Involved:- Write to your state representatives in support of the Dr. Lorna Breen Healthcare Provider Protection Act.- Advocate for changes to credentialing and licensing applications in your hospital or state.- Consider donating to the Dr. Lorna Breen Heroes Foundation to support their mission. Special Offer: Check out our free video, "How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good Without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or Sucking it Up in Silence," linked in the show notes. This resource provides actionable strategies for managing burnout and sustaining well-being. Contact Dr. Stef Simmons: Email: stefanie@drbreenheroes.org Website: [drbreenheroes.org](http://drbreenheroes.org) Thank you for listening! Please leave us a review and share this episode with fellow healthcare professionals. Resources: https://drlornabreen.org/ Write your representative to re-authorize and fund the Dr. Lorna Breen Healthcare provider protection act: https://drlornabreen.org/reauthorizelba Learn how to change the credentialing application at your organization: https://drlornabreen.org/removebarriers Learn more about the Impact Wellbeing (TM) guide: https://www.cdc.gov/niosh/healthcare/impactwellbeingguide/index.html Become an ambassador: https://drlornabreen.org/become-an-ambassador Donate: https://drlornabreen.org/donate Video: How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good

In today’s episode, we’re diving into the second part of our series on “Losing Strategies” in relationships. We explore how certain behaviors undermine connection, create emotional distance, and hinder growth, drawing insights from renowned therapists Terry Real and Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife. We begin with a quick recap of the first episode and then introduce five additional “losing strategies” that can be detrimental to relationships: 1. Playing the Victim – Recognizing the disempowerment in victimhood and how it can impact both personal and relational growth.2. Defensiveness – How defending ourselves undermines trust and prevents honest communication.3. Blaming – Shifting responsibility onto others as a way of avoiding self-reflection, creating a hostile environment.4. Scorekeeping – Keeping track of every wrong and using it as ammunition during conflicts, which prevents forgiveness and encourages resentment.5. Emotional Blackmail and Stonewalling – Emotional manipulation and shutting down emotionally to avoid discomfort, which erodes safety, trust, and connection. We also offer practical strategies to counter these behaviors, such as practicing gratitude, setting personal boundaries, and recognizing self-authorship. We remind listeners that these strategies are meant for self-reflection, not to be used as a tool for changing others. Finally, we discuss the importance of winning strategies that foster intimacy and growth, including empathy, active listening, and healthy conflict resolution. We’ll explore these more in an upcoming episode. Resources Mentioned:- *I Don’t Want to Talk About It* by Terry Real- *Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship* by Terry Real- Insight into “self-authorship” from Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife If you found value in today’s episode, please consider leaving a five-star review. This helps other doctors find our podcast and extends our reach. Also, don’t miss our free video, *How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good Without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or Sucking It Up in Silence.* You can find the link in the show notes. Thank you for tuning in! Remember, you are whole, you are a gift to medicine, and the work you do truly matters. www.thewholephysician.com

  Losing Strategies in Relationships In this episode, Amanda, Laura, and Kendra dive into the first of two episodes on losing strategies in relationships, focusing on behaviors that harm intimacy and connection. Drawing from the work of renowned therapist Terry Real and psychologist Dr. Jennifer Finlayson Fife, the hosts break down five common maladaptive strategies that people often use, thinking they will give them more power in relationships. However, these strategies ultimately damage trust and closeness. Laura introduces the topic, sharing insights from her relationship coaching certification with Terry Real. She explains how these losing strategies—many of which are ingrained in us from childhood—can become habits that undermine relationships, particularly in the high-stress environment of medicine. The five losing strategies discussed in this episode are: 1. Being Right: Focusing on winning an argument at the expense of the other person’s feelings or perspective. The hosts share the idea that "do you want to be right, or do you want to stay married?" and stress the importance of empathy and understanding over proving a point. 2. Controlling: Covert control can manifest through withholding information or micromanaging, often under the guise of "keeping the peace." The hosts explore how this undermines mutual respect and fuels resentment. 3. Unbridled Self-Expression: Venting every emotion without considering the other person’s needs or the timing of the conversation. This often leads to emotional overwhelm and distancing. 4. Retaliation: Reacting to hurt by trying to hurt the other person in return. This tit-for-tat behavior creates a toxic cycle of resentment and emotional distance. 5. Withdrawal: Shutting down emotionally or physically to avoid conflict or vulnerability. The hosts explore how this leads to unresolved issues and emotional disconnection. The episode ends with a reminder to reflect on these strategies in ourselves rather than using them to criticize our partners. The hosts emphasize the importance of self-awareness, empathy, and active listening as foundational steps toward improving relationships. Additional Resources Check out the free video "How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good" in the show notes. Learn evidence-based strategies to overcome burnout without cutting back hours, quitting medicine, or "sucking it up" in silence. Tune in next time for part two, where the hosts will continue this important conversation with more losing strategies and introduce some winning ones! How to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good)-free video https://terryreal.com/ US book (must read) https://www.finlayson-fife.com