We Can Do Hard Things

Trauma therapist (and survivor of marriage to a narcissist) Caroline Strawson joins us to discuss: how to know if someone’s really a narcissist; how to know if you’re more likely to get into a relationship with a narcissist (and avoid it); strategies for parallel parenting with a narcissist; how the brain and body respond to narcissists; and how to rebuild after ending a relationship with a narcissist. CW: Abusive relationships, self harmFor more related episodes, check out: Episode 170 The Most Radical Way to Heal: Internal Family Systems with Dr. Becky Kennedy, Episode 169 Why We Love the Way We Love: Attachment Styles with Dr. Becky Kennedy, and Episode 142 Codependence: How to Stop Controlling Others with Melody BeattieAbout Caroline: Caroline Strawson is a Trauma Therapist and Coach specializing in helping others heal from the trauma and shame of narcissistic abuse. She hosts the Narcissistic Abuse & Trauma Recovery Podcast and is the #1 best selling author of Divorce Became My Superpower. Having been married to a covert narcissist herself, Caroline was in debt, lost her family home, and was at rock bottom with PTSD, depression, anxiety, and self-harm. Caroline integrates Internal Family Systems, Somatic Experiencing, Brainspotting and breath work with positive psychology, to help others move from post traumatic stress to post traumatic growth.TW: @cstrawson11IG: @carolinestrawson

In this unplanned conversation, Amanda speaks up for everyone who’s been labeled a “Control Freak” – anyone who feels like they have to hold up the entire sky for their families or businesses – when what they really want is to feel supported and safe. Amanda shares vulnerably about: how she became an overfunctioner, the blessings and curses of being one, and the practical strategies she’s using to let go – and what her partner is doing to make her feel like she can finally try to relax.  If this episode resonates, go back and listen to OVERWHELM: Is our exhaustion a sign that we’re CareTicking time bombs?

For the first time, Glennon requests a one-on-one with our guest – author and poet Maggie Smith – in this deeply honest conversation about: how to tell the brutal truth without betraying our people, how to reclaim ourselves after infidelity and betrayal, how the shaming of women who dare to tell their stories keeps us powerless and isolated, and how they both have embraced acceptance instead of “forgiveness.”About Maggie: Maggie Smith is the award-winning author of You Could Make This Place Beautiful, Good Bones, The Well Speaks of Its Own Poison, Lamp of the Body, and the national bestsellers Goldenrod and Keep Moving: Notes on Loss, Creativity, and Change. A 2011 recipient of a Creative Writing Fellowship from the National Endowment for the Arts, two Academy of American Poets Prizes, a Pushcart Prize, and fellowships from the Sustainable Arts Foundation and the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts.TW: @maggiesmithpoetIG: @maggiesmithpoet

Glennon explains what she meant when she said, “I just can't find gender in me. I can only find it on me,” in this beautiful conversation that began with a question from a college freshman named Nick.Please revisit our conversations with ALOK here: Episode 74 ALOK: What makes us beautiful? What makes us free? and Episode 75 ALOK: How do we interrupt trauma? How do we heal?

Today, Abby, Amanda, and Glennon learn new ways not to be assholes. In this follow up to Episode 191 Why Etiquette is B.S. & New Rules for Living, we share Pod Squad wisdom about ways we can all make the world a less annoying place. Join us as we learn how to deepen our conversations with people by not saying the first thing we think of, spreading “tell me more” energy instead of “let me tell you about me” energy, and not asking “surface” questions that aren’t surface at all. Plus, we debate holding the door open for strangers, embracing bodily noises in public, and using “but” in apologies.

Dr. Hillary McBride, an embodiment teacher and psychologist, joins Glennon to discuss embodiment and disembodiment, fear, and the blaming of our bodies. They explore the disconnect between the mind and body in society, the environmental impact of plastic laundry detergent jugs, and the importance of listening to our bodies. They also talk about reimagining workouts, small acts of self-care, and the admiration for Dr. McBride and her work.

Amanda’s epiphany on Alice’s school Picture Day about the destructive messages we’re inadvertently sending our kids; our forced pursuit of happiness in photos with our families; why family photo shoots bring out the worst in us; and why we should allow ourselves and our people to just look like we look. Check out past episodes mentioned: Episode 196 How Glennon & Abby Learned to Talk Dirty with Vanessa Marin and Episode 125 WHY ARE THERE NO PICTURES OF US?!?

Priyanka Chopra Jonas dives deep into: the night she fell for Nick at the Met Gala, walking her baby through their harrowing NICU journey, her strategy to make Malti Marie think she’s cool, and why accountability is good – if we know the right people to be accountable to. About Priyanka: Priyanka Chopra Jonas is a multi-faceted talent, New York Times Best Selling Author of UNFINISHED, and one of the most recognized people in the world. She is an actor and producer, with more than sixty international and Hollywood films to her credit. She stars in the new Amazon series Citadel and the new movie Love Again.The Padma Shri, one of India’s highest civilian honors, was conferred on her in 2016 and she was named one of the “Most Influential People” in the world by Time Magazine. She is a global UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador, and a Global Citizen ambassador, and is involved in efforts to protect children’s rights and to promote the education of girls around the world. TW: @priyankachopraIG: @priyankachopra

Michelle Zauner on how to begin healing our mother wounds, using her sensitivity to deepen her relationships and be a rockstar, why she’s obsessed with sheetcake and winnebagos, and why she is still “afraid of her mental health.” About Michelle: MICHELLE ZAUNER is best known as a singer and guitarist who creates dreamy, shoegaze-inspired indie pop under the name Japanese Breakfast. She has won acclaim from major music outlets around the world for releases like Psychopomp and Soft Sounds from Another Planet. Her most recent album, Jubilee, earned two GRAMMY nominations for Best New Artist and Best Alternative Music Album. Her first book, Crying in H Mart, is a New York Times Best Seller. She’s currently adapting the memoir for the screen for MGM’s Orion Pictures.TW: @jbrekkieIG: @jbrekkie

What is gaslighting REALLY and what isn’t? Plus, how to know if you’re in a relationship with a gaslighter, the three types of gaslighters, and how to break free from a gaslighter and reclaim yourself. About Dr. Stern: Robin Stern, Ph.D., is the co-founder and associate director for the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and an associate research scientist at the Child Study Center at Yale. She is a licensed psychoanalyst with 30 years of experience treating individuals, couples, and families. She is the author of The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide: Your Personal Journey Toward Healing from Emotional Abuse. TW: @RobinSSternIG: @dr.robinstern