Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Independent filmmaker Marc Smolowitz (13th Gen) talks about his upcoming film "The G Word", which tackles issues related to giftedness, equity, and social justice for a broad audience.Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I was thrilled to have the chance to talk with Alfie Kohn about parenting and differently wired kids and dig into the concepts that many consider highly provocative and controversial because in many ways they are a radical departure from more traditional approaches to parenting, praise, rewards, punishments, discipline, and motivation.If you haven’t been exposed to Alfie’s work before, I encourage you to listen with an open mind and curiosity. Some of the concepts he shares today may challenge your ideas about raising kids, but if you know me, I deeply believe there is value is reconsidering everything we thought we knew about parenting. After having this conversation with Alfie, I became even more aware of things I was doing that I wanted to tweak as a way to better support Asher’s growth, and I’ve already noticed a difference in what’s happening in my family dynamic. I hope you get out a lot out of our conversation. Alfie Kohn writes and speaks widely on human behavior, education, and parenting. The author of fourteen books and scores of articles, he lectures at education conferences and universities as well as to parent groups and corporations. Kohn’s criticisms of competition and rewards have been widely discussed and debated, and he has been described in Time magazine as “perhaps the country’s most outspoken critic of education’s fixation on grades [and] test scores.” Things you’ll learn from this episode What “unconditional parenting” looks like Why Alfie believes a goal of raising compliant kids is misguided What the science says about rewards and punishments and why they tend to lead to the opposite result we’re going for The potential downsides of positive reinforcement and “praise” in relation to supporting our children’s development and personal growth The difference between love and unconditional love, and why the latter is what we want our children to feel The importance of focusing on long-term versus short-term goals for our children Alfie’s advice for where parents can start today when it comes to working toward a more unconditional parenting approach  Resources mentioned about unconditional parenting Alfie Kohn’s website Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishment to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A’s, Praise, and Other Bribes by Alfie Kohn The Myth of the Spoiled Child: Coddled Kids, Helicopter Parents, and Other Phony Crises by Alfie Kohn Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week I’m talking with Julie Skolnick, the founder of With Understanding Comes Calm, an organization with a mission of empowering parents, educators, and professionals to bring out the best and raise self esteem in their twice exceptional (2e) children, students, clients, and themselves through education, tailor made strategies, and advocacy training.I initially reached out to Julie about having her on the show because she does a lot of in-the-classroom training, helping educators better understand and recognize their twice exceptional students and learn tools and strategies for supporting them. Because finding the right educational fit is perhaps the biggest challenge for parents raising 2e kids, I was hoping Julie could offer us the solution to this problem and tell us exactly what we could do to get our kids’ teachers on board. But when Julie and I had our pre-interview conversation a few weeks before recording this, she made it clear that there is no easy answer—the work is difficult, there’s a lot of resistance, and progress is slow. While I can’t promise any magic solution to the issue of how to educate 2e kids, I can promise that in our conversation Julie shares a number of powerful tools and strategies for how we as parents can powerfully advocate for our kids and understand them as learners so we can show up as the best parent we can be. THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE: Why finding an educational fit for twice exceptional kids can be so challenging The status quo regarding how 2e kids are managing in traditional school settings Julie’s ideas for how parents can advocate for their 2e learners in a collaborative way How parents can learn to trust that they are the best parent for their child The three main challenges for 2e students as a result of their wiring Julie’s advice and best practices for parents just now discovering their child’s unique profile and are looking for ideas on where to start  RESOURCES MENTIONED: With Understanding Comes Calm (Julie’s website) SENG (Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted) Jonathan Mooney 2e Newsletter Behind the Scenes of the Resource TECA—Twice Exceptional Children’s Advocacy (podcast episode) Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Devorah Heitner, a digital media and technology expert and the author of "Screenwise" talks about how parents can mentor their kids to develop a healthy relationship with screens (phones, online games, and more). Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Melissa Sornick, LCSW and Maratea Cantarella of TECA (Twice Exceptional Children's Advocacy) take us behind the scenes of the top resource for parents raising 2e kids. Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Author and gifted education advocate Deb Douglas explains the importance of helping gifted learners advocate for themselves, as well as how parents can support them in doing so.Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Executive functioning/education coach Seth Perler explores the concept of resistance in differently-wired kids and shares strategies and tools for how parents can support their kids in learning how to face their resistance.Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Executive functioning/education coach Seth Perler talks with 14-year-old Asher about resistance—what it is, why it shows up, how it gets in kids' ways, and what to do about it. This is a special back-to-school episode aimed at kids.Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A follow-up conversation with Debbie's husband Derin in which he shares how he got unstuck in his thinking about Asher, as well as how the two of them fostered a close bond of mutual love and understanding.Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s episode, I’m talking with Elisheva Schwartz, a dyslexia researcher, mother, wife, intelligence re-definer, and host of The Dyslexia Quest podcast. Elisheva is on a mission to empower the dyslexic community to fully understand both the strengths and the difficulties of the processing style.If you have a child with learning differences like dyslexia, this is a must-listen-to episode, as Elisheva gets personal and shares her story of her own childhood of struggling to reconcile her passion for learning with repeatedly being told she was learning disabled. Luckily for the rest of us, Elisheva has channeled the pain of her own childhood journey to helping families raising kids with learning differences help their kids feel empowered and confident about who they are, while also knowing how to advocate for them in school. I hope you enjoy our conversation. About Elisheva: Elisheva Schwartz is a dyslexia researcher, mother, wife, intelligence re-definer, and podcast host. She’s on a mission to decode the dyslexic mind and empower the dyslexic community to fully understand both the strengths and the difficulties of the processing style.Both her academic background in Cognitive Science and Education, as well as her own personal experiences with dyslexia, allows Elisheva to draw on a unique blend of both the personal and scientific. Elisheva often writes about dyslexia, cognition, learning, creativity and intelligence, and maintains an occasional column at The Creativity Post.Additionally, Elisheva often speaks at universities and conferences, with some of her latest speaking engagement including The International Dyslexia Association (Panel) and University of Philadelphia.  THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE: Elisheva’s personal why for creating The Dyslexia Quest What the biggest roadblocks are for kids with learning differences like dyslexia in a traditional school setting What reframing dyslexia to view it through a strengths-based lens looks like How parents can help kids feel more positive about their learning differences How parents can work with schools to get them the support their child needs Elisheva’s advice on how parents can best approach their child’s learning differences and support their child What parents can expert in their journey of supporting their kids What the gifts of dyslexia are  RESOURCES MENTIONED: The Dyslexia Quest Podcast Elisheva on Instagram Elisheva on Facebook The Dyslexic Advantage: Unlocking the Hidden Potential of the Dyslexic Brain by Brock L. Eide Dyslexic Advantage (website) Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices