Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Today’s episode features an eye-opening conversation with Julie Bogart on how to help kids who have resistance around writing, which, I have a hunch, is something many of you out there listening are familiar with. Julie, the mastermind behind the Brave Writer program, the Brave Writer podcast, and really thoughtful content on all things kids, writing, learning with confidence, and critical thinking, is the perfect person to explore this topic with. What I thought might be an interview that focused on the nuts and bolts of writing ended up being a very moving and inspiring lesson about self-expression and trust. Julie and I talked about how separating the mechanical and self-expression parts of writing can help kids experience less resistance to writing, how to break through barriers students may have when it comes to expressing themselves, and what Julie identifies as performance anxiety at the heart of a child’s struggles to getting starting putting words down on the page. Julie also gave some fantastic advice on how to change the script around writing resistance and where to get started for parents experiencing this at home. Julie Bogart is known for her common sense parenting and education advice. She’s the author of the beloved book, The Brave Learner, which has brought joy and freedom to countless home educators. Her new book, Raising Critical Thinkers, offers parents a lifeline in navigating the complex digital world our kids are confronting.Julie’s also the creator of the award-winning, innovative online writing program called Brave Writer, now 22 years old, serving 191 countries. Things you'll learn from this episode What Brave Writer is and how it helps families looking to support their children in becoming more confident writers How separating the mechanical and self-expression parts of writing can help kids experience less resistance Julie’s thoughts on support systems and available assistive technology and how they influence kids’ relationships with writing How to break through the resistance when children feel daunted by the idea of expressing themselves Why Julie believes performance anxiety is at the root of resistance when kids struggle to begin a writing task Advice for parents raising kids who experience intense resistance around the writing process Resources mentioned Julie Bogart’s Brave Writer website Julie Bogart’s Blog at Brave Writer Brave Writer Writing Blitz Brave Writer Podcast Raising Critical Thinkers: A Parents’ Guide to Growing Wise Kids in the Digital Age by Julie Bogart The Brave Learner: Finding Everyday Magic in Homeschool, Learning, and Life by Julie Bogart Julie Bogart on Instagram Julie Bogart on Facebook Julie Bogart on Twitter Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

To close out this season, I’m bringing you an interview with Amy Laurent and Jacquelyn Fede from Austim Level UP! I’m going to go out on a limb and say most of you have probably heard of Autism Level Up or heard Amy and Jacquelyn’s names before. Autism Level Up! Is a resource that I have personally spent hours pouring through because it’s so fantastic , accessible and informative. In this conversation I wanted to talk to Amy and Jacqueline about why they created Autism Level UP!, how the conversation surrounding autism and support for autistic people has changed over the past decade, and how we can all “level up” our own understanding of and experience with autism and neurodivergence.About my guestsJac is a super fun, super goofy and SUPER DUPER nerdy Autistic Advocate and the co-founder of Autism Level UP! Jac enjoys supporting Autistic Individuals and their partners as well as program evaluation, data and statistics, and app and web development. Jac is a physical activity junky and continues to meet its intense sensory needs by seeking high impact and highly resistant movements. Amy is an OT, co-author of the SCERTS model (a developmental framework for supporting Autistic people), and the co-founder of Autism Level UP!. Amy enjoys supporting Autistic individuals and their partners, co-conspiring as an ally to Autistic people and creative design of useful and accessible tools and supports. Amy has many sensory needs that she meets through running, yoga, dance, paddle boarding and even resistance training as prescribed by her trainer, Jac. Things you'll learn from this episode The story behind Austin Level Up and how (and why) Amy and Jacquelyn created it What the SCERTS model is and the ways in which Autism Level Up has reworked some of its aspects What Autism Level Up is and how parents can engage with it The difference between emotional regulation and energy regulation Resources mentioned Autism Level UP! Autism Level UP! on Facebook Autism Level UP! on Instagram The S.C.E.R.T.S. Model Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism by Dr. Barry Prizant Barry Prizant Talks About His Book “Uniquely Human” Dr. Barry Prizant and Dave Finch Talk About Their New Podcast, Uniquely Human (Tilt Parenting Podcast)  Dr. Devon Price and Unmasking Autism (Tilt Parenting Podcast)  Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity by Devon Price, PhD Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is going to be a different kind of an episode, because it’s the seven-year anniversary of Tilt Parenting (!) and it felt like a good time to do some reflection on where we – you, me, this community – are now. And I wanted to reflect because I think it’s important to pause, take a breath, and notice this moment. So, in this episode, I’ll share reflections on what has changed in the “Tilt revolution” and the neurodiversity movement in the years since Tilt Parenting first launched, including the language used in this space. I also get a little personal and give you some updates from my world, our family’s journey, and what’s next. Lastly, I always want to offer something practical and tangible that you can take with you into your daily life, so I’ll tell you about the five biggest lessons I’ve been learning over the past few years and explain how they’ve impacted our family dynamic, and my own life as the parent of a differently wired kid.Things you'll learn from this episode: How the conversation, and terminology, surrounding neurodivergence and the “movement” has evolved over the past seven years How I envisioned Tilt when I first developed it Why I believe there is no such thing as “normal” What I see as the most exciting developments in neuroscience developments and how they’ll impact differently wired children How my personal life has changed since I started Tilt and the challenges I’ve encountered in doing the inner work The five biggest lessons I’ve been learning over (and over) again in recent years Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this engaging discussion, Sam Young, a neurodivergent educator with ADHD and director of Young Scholars Academy, dives into the evolving social lives of twice-exceptional students. He highlights how technology has reshaped peer connections and offers strategies for parents to support their kids through social challenges. Sam emphasizes the importance of mentorship and nurturing a strengths-based approach to social skills. He also introduces innovative methods to foster confidence and community, all while celebrating the unique strengths of neurodivergent youth.

I really enjoyed exploring unschooling, deschooling, freedom, and liberation with Akilah Richards, host of the Fare the Free Child podcast and author of the book Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work.I reached out to Akilah after seeing her TED talk, which led me to her book, and then her podcast, and I knew I wanted to invite her to join me in conversation. A recurring theme in this podcast, and in Tilt, is doing our own inner work as parents, and I love how Akilah talks about relating our own reparenting to freedom, decolonization, and liberation.Akilah shares her personal story of going from traditional schooling to unschooling to deschooling, and how she and her husband came to consider the idea of raising free people, what that means, and how they’ve navigated the realities of making unconventional choices that can sometimes make other people uncomfortable. She also shares how they think about the success and what a fulfilled life looks like for her family, as well as how her work aimed at decolonizing parenting has resonated with people worldwide.About my guest:Akilah S. Richards is passionate about mindful partnerships and decolonizing parenting. She uses audio and written mediums to amplify the ways that unschooling in particular, is serving as healing grounds and liberation work for Black, non-Black Indigenous, and People of Color communities earthwide. Her celebrated unschooling podcast, Fare of the Free Child, and the numerous workshops and gatherings she has been part of, have garnered the attention of Forbes Magazine, The New York Times, Good Morning America, and most importantly, BIPOC families interested or living in more healthy, consent-based, intergenerational relationships. Her recent experiences within the intersection of privilege, parenting,and power are detailed in her latest book, Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work.You'll learn: What it means to be raising a “free child” and why it can be a threatening or uncomfortable concept for many people What “mad question asking” is and how parents can use it to get unstuck How unschooling is tied to decolonization What “deschooling” is versus “homeschooling” and “unschooling” What “confident autonomy” is and why Akilah considers that a hallmark of “success” in her children How Akilah and her partner dealt with the barriers (social, cultural, and more) when they chose the unschooling path for their family What a “savor complex” is and how it can transform the family experience Resources mentioned: Akilah Richard’s website Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work by Akilah Richards Fare of the Free People Podcast Akilah’s website Schoolishness Akilah’s coaching offerings Savor Complex Akilah Richard TEDx Asbury Park Talk Shawna Murray Browne Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For the past few years, I’ve been hearing about this concept called “declarative language,” and although I had an idea of what it was, after reading my guest Linda Murphy’s Declarative Language Handbook, I couldn’t wait to bring her on the show because it offers another transformational tool for our parenting differently wired kids’ toolbox. Linda describes declarative language as a positive, thoughtful communication style that emphasizes understanding, patience, respect, and kindness, and as you’ll hear from our conversation, it is an ideal communication style for really all children, but especially neurodivergent children and kids whose nervous systems are triggered by demands or more imperative communication styles.We discussed the different ways we can communicate with our children, the language we use, and the effects that simple shifts in the way we have conversations can have in our daily interactions with them. We also explored what is declarative language versus imperative language, as well as the relationship between co-regulation and declarative language and why we should use them in tandem. Linda K. Murphy MS, CCC-SLP is a speech language pathologist and RDI® Consultant. She co-founded Peer Projects - Therapy From the Heart, a clinic in Beverly, MA dedicated to helping kids and families by using a positive, thoughtful communication style that emphasizes understanding, patience, respect, and kindness. Linda has been working with individuals with social learning differences for over 25 years. She leads trainings on the topic of social learning, has authored Declarative Language Handbook, Co-Regulation Handbook, numerous articles, and co-authored the book Social Thinking and Me with Michelle Garcia Winner. Things you'll learn from this episode What it means to use declarative language (versus imperative language) Why declarative language is so effective for neurodivergent children, and especially those who are wired to be more demand avoidance Why declarative language is more effective when paired with co-regulation Common language and communication styles that place demands on kids that we may not be aware of (including questions) How to introduce declarative language communication and how it can support a child’s learning and development What we can hope to see in a child or an adolescent that has been on the receiving end of this style of communication What to say instead of “Did you hear what I said”?  Resources mentioned Linda Murphy’s website Declarative Language Handbook: Using a Thoughtful Language Style to Help Kids with Social Learning Challenges Feel Competent, Connected, and Understood by Linda K. Murphy Declarative Language website Declarative Language on Facebook Declarative Language on Instagram One Exchange at a Time (from Linda’s blog) Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Over the past few years I’ve seen the word trauma become more and more prevalent in conversations surrounding children, especially differently wired children. So I invited trauma and education expert Sandi Lerman onto the show so we could  talk about exactly what’s going on with our kids — have they or are they experiencing trauma at school? What is developmental trauma? What does trauma look like our children? And how can we respond to and support a child who has experienced trauma? In the episode you’re about to listen to, Sandi explains why two kids might internalize an experience differently, how kids’ bodies hold on to trauma, and the relationship between PDA and trauma. Sandi also walks us through the key tenets of her trust-based, connected parenting method in her heart strong system.About Sandi LermanSandi Lerman, MA Ed. is the Founder and Program Director of Heart-Strong International, a global education company that provides training and coaching programs for parents and teachers of children with developmental trauma and professional graduate-level programs for Trauma-Informed Specialists, Certified Parent Coaches, and Certified Educational Trainers.Sandi is an educator with over twenty years of classroom teaching experience in K-12, university, and adult education settings, has worked as a parent coach and educator since 2014, and has coordinated two state-wide government and non-profit parenting and community mental health education programs in Indiana.The creator of the HEART-STRONG Model™, Sandi uses trauma-informed coach training and somatic healing practices in her work with adults and those who parent, teach, and take care of children and teens, along with practical tools and strategies to support their growth and success. Things you'll learn from this episode What developmental trauma is Whether neurodivergent kids are more likely to experience trauma or have their “little t” traumas impact them in more profound ways Why two different kids might internalize the same experience differently How are our kids' bodies hold on to trauma and what that looks like How PDA (pathological demand avoidance) is connected to developmental trauma Specific modalities are most helpful for recovery for kids who have experienced trauma What the path toward healing from childhood trauma looks like Resources mentioned for Neurodiversity and Developmental Trauma Sandy Lerman’s Heart Strong International website Heart Strong International on Facebook Sandi Lerman on LinkTree Dr. Bruce Perry Dr. Ross Greene Dr. Mona Delahooke The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, MD Somatic Experiencing EMDR Therapy Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Sarah Moore, the author of the new book Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior. Sarah explains what peaceful discipline is and walk us through its relationships with the traditional disciplinary tools many parents rely on when navigating tricky behavior, like time outs and consequences. Sarah also explained the power of using story teaching to help kids create positive coherent narratives for difficult situations, no matter how old they are, as a way to create the opportunity for learning and growth as opposed to experiences being internalized in harmful ways.Sarah R. Moore is the author of “Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior,” and founder of Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting. She is a Master Trainer in conscious parenting and has training in child development, trauma recovery, and interpersonal neurobiology. Things you'll learn from this episode: How Sarah defines peaceful discipline What the H.U.G. process is and how we can use it to support our child’s healthy emotional development How to reframe our thinking about traditional discipline tools like timeouts (and shift to employing “time ins”) How to effectively tap into natural consequences as a positive tool in our parenting Why removing a device or toy isn't actually a natural consequence that works long term What Story Teaching is and how we can use it as a tool to support our child in creating coherent positive narrative about difficult situations  Resources mentioned for: Sarah Moore’s website, Dandelion Seeds Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science, and Better Behavior by Sarah R. Moore Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting Blog, Mini-Courses & Expert Interviews Dandelion Seeds on Instagram Dandelion Seeds on Facebook Dandelion Seeds on YouTube Dandelion Seeds on Twitter Sign up at Sarah’s website for one free mini-course (more than 40 topics available) and a selection of expert interviews Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Middle school might not feel like a very enchanting time in our lives — it definitely didn’t feel that way for me when I was living through it. But according to my guest Chris Balme, middle school is a time of great magic and opportunity for our kids, and for us as parents, if we know what we’re looking for. In our conversation, Chris explains the three stages of identity development a child goes through in middle school, how we as parents will want to adapt our parenting styles change as our kids reach these stages, and how to navigate our child breaking our trust. We also talked about what individuation is and what it means to become a better companion for our kids, which is a reframe I really love.Chris Balme is an education leader and writer, passionate about helping young people discover more of their human potential. As Co-Founder and Head of School at Millennium School, a lab school in San Francisco, Chris helped pioneer new learning methods for middle schoolers, based in developmental science. Chris then founded Argonaut, an online program to bring social-emotional learning to more students. He now serves as the Founding Principal of Hakuba International School in Japan, developing learning approaches that foster human and environmental well-being. Things you'll learn from this episode Why Chris believes the middle school years are magical What the three stages of identity development for middle school students are how kids may progress through them What individuation is and how to navigate it with your children Advice for parents regarding scaffolding in a way that supports their child’s development How to navigate a child breaking our trust What companioning is and how to do that for our kids  Resources mentioned Chris Balme’s website Finding the Magic in Middle School: Tapping Into the Power and Potential of the Middle School Years by Chris Balme Chris’s Growing Wiser newsletter (Substack) Not Much, Just Chillin’: The Hidden Lives of Middle Schoolers by Linda Perlstein Maria Montessori  Anders Ronnau on How He’s Transforming ADHD (Tilt Parenting podcast) Ned Johnson and Bill Stixrud on How to Motivate Kids and Build Their Stress Tolerance (Tilt Parenting podcast)  The Self-Driven Child with Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson (Tilt Parenting podcast)  Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this special kid’s POV edition, I share a short conversation with my 11-year-old child Asher about the new morning routine we began doing in January 2016.The routine is based on author and speaker Hal Elrod’s book The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM). Because I’m always looking for ways to support Asher in developing more self-awareness, we agreed to start off the New Year trying out a new routine. In this episode, Asher walks listeners through what the new 6-step morning routine—consisting of meditation, affirmations, visualization, exercise, reading, and journaling—looks like, and explains its impact, as well as why Asher thinks other kids would benefit. Debbie Reber is the founder of Tilt and the host of the Tilt Parenting Podcast. 11-year-old Asher is Debbie’s child and is regularly featured on the podcast.  Things you'll learn from the episode:  How implementing a purposeful morning routine such as the one highlighted in Hal Elrod’s book The Miracle Morning has the potential to positively impact a child’s day The benefits for children on beginning each day by focusing on presence, positivity, and intention Asher’s thoughts on whether other kids could benefit from a new morning routine like the one he’s doing How meaningful a change can be when a child is self-motivated by their own personal discoveries about the benefits of a new habit Resources mentioned: The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM) by Hal Elrod Pat Flynn’s podcast, Smart Passive Income Kerbal Space Program, Asher’s favorite online game (at the moment) Asher and Debbie’s visualization soundtrack: Enya’s Caribbean Blue, Charles Atlas’ The Snow Before Us, and Badly Drawn Boy’s I Love NYE Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices