Ask Christopher West

If a married couple is able to have children of their own, is it morally wrong to adopt children instead? Is having had a hysterectomy an imprediment to marriage? Why is Natural Family Planning permitted by the Catholic Church but contraceptive birth control is not? Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community! Patron Question: If a married couple is able to have children of their own, is it morally wrong to choose to adopt children instead? Question 2: Hi Christopher and Wendy, Years ago, I attended a Theology of the Body conference, and have recently discovered your podcast and love listening to you both! During your May 3rd podcast, in response to a sensitive question, you responded, in part, that, “The man’s seed only belongs in the garden.” This is where my sensitive question comes in. What if the woman no longer has her “garden?” Would it be an impediment to marriage if the wife no longer has her garden where her husband can plant his seed? Qestion 3: I am considering Catholicism from a Lutheran background but there is an issue that I have not been able to come to terms with as a young married mother of 3 children who are 3 and under. Why is Natural Family Planning allowed and not contraceptive birth control that does not abort? What is the difference other than a technicality? Both are being used to prevent life at that time; both are (somewhat) effective. It would be easier for me to swallow that there should be no family planning than, “NFP is fine but birth control is not.” Also, why in Theology of the Body do I keep hearing that sex is never separated from procreation? By nature, much of a woman’s cycle makes her not capable of procreating. Should we then only have sex during the fertile time? Help! Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com. Resources mentioned this week: **Our Sponsor: **We can't say enough about Rose Sweet and her ministry! Be sure to learn more about her work by clicking the link. View our COURSE SCHEDULE to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON! GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram. Discover the Theology of the Body Institute. If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening! Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals. Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Does God will the circumstances that allow illegitimate children to be born? How does one deal with not hearing God’s voice when struggling with abandonment? How do I test my heart without falling into lust? Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community! Patron Question: I know the Church teaches that some marriages aren’t true marriages because of something that was wrong from the very beginning. Yet sometimes these couples have children together. I’m struggling to understand whether God actually willed for these people to “get married” so that there children could exist. Question 2: When I was a child, my father abandoned us. I have fallen many times by wanting to feel the physical love and embrace of someone, even knowing that it is a sin to fornicate. When I go to God with my wounds, I hear no voice and feel no physical embrace. That makes it very difficult to not look for it elsewhere. How does one deal with not hearing God’s voice or feeling His embrace when He is our Father? Qestion 3: I have been a sex addict for many years in my life and God has healed me. I do not have temptations to look at women anymore, but I do turn away when I see immodestly dressed women because I want to protect myself. I have heard you say that this is not the end of the road; we should be able to look in a different way. How are we supposed to test our heart? I don't want to fall back into lust by looking at women to see if I can look at them purely. How can I grow in this? Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com. Resources mentioned this week: **Our Sponsor: **We can't say enough about Rose Sweet and her ministry! Be sure to learn more about her work by clicking the link. View our COURSE SCHEDULE to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON! If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram. Discover the Theology of the Body Institute. If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening! Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals. Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

How do you handle it when your spouse's words or actions hurt you? If sexual desire points to a desire for God, what do we do with the tension we feel while waiting for Him? Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community! Patron Question: Thank you for your beautiful ministry, my parents divorced when I was a teenager. I’m still surrendering those wounds to Jesus. In my brokenness, I realize how desperately I’d like to have an earthly marriage model to look up to. I’m thankful to both of you for sharing and modeling that to me. Wendy, Christopher makes it sound as if it’s so natural for you (even in your friendship) to love him unconditionally. That makes me wonder how you do it! How do you handle when his words or actions hurt you? Do you struggle too, because I am struggling? My mother’s advice is full of negativity towards men. I guess I’m just yearning for some healthy motherly advice. Question 2: I have a lot of questions. If sexual desire points to a desire for God, then what do you do with the sexual energy and tension while waiting for Jesus without falling into gnosticism? If we ask God to be mystically married to Jesus like the saints will He then have to answer our request? And what does God do with the heartbreak we feel if we yearn for people we cannot be with because of the circumstances of this world? Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com. Resources mentioned this week: View our COURSE SCHEDULE to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON! If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram. Discover the Theology of the Body Institute. If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening! Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals. Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Can a woman morally learn to pole dance if her intentions are good? When is using NFP to avoid pregnancy licit, and when is it being used with a contraceptive attitude? How is the body the only thing capable of making visible what is invisible? Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community! Patron Question: There is a documentary that was recently added to Netflix called, "Strip Down, Rise Up." I have not seen it, but from the description and the reviews I have read, it is about a group of women who take an intensive class on pole dancing to "reclaim their sexuality" and to help them use their bodies as an art form to heal from wounds of their past that are related to their bodies and minds. Can a woman morally learn to pole dance if her intentions are good? Question 2: When is using NFP to avoid pregnancy licit, and when is it being used with a contraceptive attitude? It seems there is no clear answer. Some Catholics say it must be a grave situation (such as losing your job, or medical reason), while some say it's fine to use NFP to avoid pregnancy for the first few years of marriage to enjoy your time together before having kids, or simply to space children out to the ideal 2-3 years. I imagine the answer is somewhere in the middle, but where exactly do we draw the line? Qestion 3: I don't understand the thesis statement of Theology of the Body. How is the body the only thing capable of making visible what is invisible? Christopher always talks about how other things (i.e. a Cinnabon, a good beer) are sacraments of invisible realities, or foretastes of the beatific vision. Can you please explain how the body is the only thing capable of making visible invisible divine realities? Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com. Resources mentioned this week: View our COURSE SCHEDULE to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON! If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram. Discover the Theology of the Body Institute. If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening! Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals. Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

As an adult convert to the faith with an atheist husband, can I have a meaningful marriage? Should couples beyond their fertile years no longer engage in the sexual embrace since there isn't a possibility of children? Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community! Patron Question: Thank you both for your beautiful witness! I am blown away by TOB but also really struggling. As an adult convert to the faith, with an atheist husband, I often feel lonely. I have friendships with men who are believers and love the chance to talk to other men about our shared beliefs. My second issue is intimacy - I have very sisterly feelings towards my husband - and for various reasons I can’t see that changing, trust me on that. So my question - can I have a meaningful marriage when I feel lonely both spiritually and sexually and I’m drawn to others? Thank you and God Bless! Question 2: Should couples beyond their fertile years no longer engage in the sexual embrace since there isn't a possibility of children? Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com. Resources mentioned this week: View our COURSE SCHEDULE to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON! If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram. Discover the Theology of the Body Institute. If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening! Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals. Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

How can I heal from pornography before entering into marriage? Do you have any advice for healing from a break up? How does Theology of the Body relate to the washing of the feet? Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community! Patron Question: Thank you for your podcast. I listen to your podcast weekly while I go on a run and it makes the miles fly by! My fiance and I are getting married very soon. We have both saved sex for marriage however there is a history of pornography use before we were dating. What advice do you have for us to have a pure, holy and lust-free experience? We have both read about theology of the body and listen to your podcast but knowing and living can be very different. Question 2: Hi Christopher and Wendy! I LOVE your show. Listening to the way you two interact with each other is so life-giving. I started listening last year after attending the TOB virtual conference and my goal is to listen to every episode! Here's my question: what light might TOB shed on healing from a breakup? Especially if you are the one who made the choice to end it? I chose to end an almost three-year dating relationship and while I believe what I did was best for myself and him in the long run, I find myself consistently wracked with guilt and shame for how I've hurt my ex. I don't know how to let go of the fact that I've caused him a wound and even though it's been almost a year. I haven't figured out how to forgive myself. Any advice? Qestion 3: This year I attended Holy Thursday Mass for the first time wearing my “TOB glasses.” The Mass was so much richer! Does the Theology of the Body tie into the washing of feet? Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com. Resources mentioned this week: View our COURSE SCHEDULE to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON! If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram. Discover the Theology of the Body Institute. If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening! Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals. Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

What does the Church teach about cremation? How do we protect our children from the cultural gender ideology? How do I know I'm not getting married just to have sex? Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community! Patron Question: I have heard the Catholic Church does not approve of cremated ashes being scattered or divided. If this is the case, why do we as Catholics have saints’ body parts as relics sometimes divided across the world in different locations. What is the difference here? Does the physical location of our dead body parts have anything to do with the resurrection of our bodies in the end? Question 2: What are we to make of all these differenct sexuality options that are apearing? How are we to react in love to people who present themselves to us with these different forms of sexual orientation? How do we teach our children in order to protect them from being confused? Qestion 3: Hello Christopher and Wendy! Thank you so much for your podcast. I listen to it every morning before my teaching assistant job, and you have very much inspired my desire to be a theology teacher! Having had a recent and intense reversion back into my Catholic faith, the Holy Spirit (with the help of your podcast) has convicted me to wait until marriage to have sex! Although I am confident in this conviction, having previously had pre-martial sex, the secular argument is still pervading in my mind. Which is, “How do you know you aren’t just marrying him just to have sex?” This bothers me! How do you recommend discerning a husband or wife without confusing lust with love? I’m worried about getting into the weeds here. Thank you again! Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com. Resources mentioned this week: View our COURSE SCHEDULE to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON! Good News about Sex & Marriage The Eclipse of Sex by the Rise of Gender by Abigail Favale If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram. Discover the Theology of the Body Institute. If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening! Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals. Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

How can I reclaim purity after falling? How can a friendship become a romantic relationship? Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community! Patron Question: Hi Christopher and Wendy. I’ve been listening to your podcast for a little over a year. I grew up, (thankfully!) with a very wholesome understanding of sexuality. I know that is rare. Despite the best efforts of my parents though, there were many needs in my heart for love and understanding, beauty and respect that went unmet. . . as I matured, these “holes” in my heart made me very vulnerable to the desires of other women my age who saw me as an opportunity to have their “needs” met. There’s a lot said in Christian circles about the lusts of men, but very little about the ways women use men so I think I was unprepared for this. I am very deeply empathetic, and am often told that I am very handsome. . . I share this because I think it explains why so many women have ended up using me to gratify their desires. Over time I began using these women back in different ways and eventually lost my resolve to save myself for marriage. Now, I feel so sick. I am exposing these wounds and needs to the blessed mother in prayer, but still every time thoughts of sexuality come to my mind, I feel a twisting in my stomach instead of the awe and wonder I had when I was much younger. What do I do? I feel like I have been compromised in the worst way. Question 2: Christopher, I know you’ve told this story a lot but here is the deal: my female best friend is attracted to me. Honestly, she is smart, very beautiful, very very funny and I know I can count on her anytime, she is simply the best. . . But, I just can’t see her as anything more than a friend right now. Christopher and Wendy, I want what you have, and I really want the best for her but I don’t know if I’m the best for her. Christopher, how did you turn your friendship with Wendy into romantic love? Qestion 3: My wife and I have been married for over 30 years. As we’ve gotten older, we’ve had to adjust our physical relationship because of health issues. I know this is a sensitive question, but I want to know what is permissible for couples who are able to experience sexual climax but cannot comfortably have penetration. Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com. Resources mentioned this week: View our COURSE SCHEDULE to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON! Get a PREMIUM Pass for the 2nd Annual Theology of the Body Virtual Conference! Good News about Sex and Marriage If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram. Discover the Theology of the Body Institute. If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening! Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals. Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

My wife scheduled an abortion - what can I do? Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. REGISTER FOR FREE for the 2nd Annual Theology of the Body Virtual Conference! (April 30-May 2, 2021) Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community! Patron Question: My wife just broke the news that she is pregnant with our first child. She’s so scared of childbirth that she scheduled an abortion. What can I do? I want to be a father. Question 2: Hi Christopher and Wendy, Thank you so much for all you do to spread the GOOD NEWS of Theology of the Body! Christopher's books were my introduction to JP2's wisdom on human sexuality, and I am not exaggerating when I say it completely changed my faith for the better. To varying degrees throughout my life, I've struggled with mental health issues, such as depression, scrupulosity, OCD, and negative body image. I find myself hoping for a future husband who doesn't share the same struggles as I do, someone who can help keep me grounded in reality. In theory, I could see how meeting someone with the same experiences could foster understanding and compassion in the relationship, but mainly I fear that such a marriage would fall apart if both spouses are mentally and emotionally unstable. Am I a hypocrite for wanting a man who will accept and patiently bear my crosses and weaknesses, but for whom I wouldn't want to do the same? If so, do you have any advice? Qestion 3: Why do people say that pornography is adultery? I struggled with it, but I never slept with anyone else. I love my wife and I did not give my heart to anybody but her. She is the only woman in my life. Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com. Resources mentioned this week: View our COURSE SCHEDULE to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON! If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram. Discover the Theology of the Body Institute. If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening! Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals. Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

How to share Theology of the Body with young children, how to discuss Catholic teaching on gender with children, and the best steps for education yourself on Theology of the Body. Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body. REGISTER FOR FREE for the 2nd Annual Theology of the Body Virtual Conference! (April 30-May 2, 2021) Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? Join our Patron Community! Patron Question: My husband and I are Natural Family Planning teachers with the Billings method. We believe that using NFP has brought us closer to God. We know Theology of the Body is the foundation for our closeness. Do you have any thoughts about how we can begin to share this amazing gift with our young children, ages 5, 4, and 2? Question 2: Hi! My question is in regards to gender dysphoria, specifically how to address and discuss Catholic teachings and gender change to children and to other non-Catholic friends. I very recently made the decision to take my children out of public school. There were numerous issues including the introduction of condom use and where to get them to my 11 year old but my question is in regards to my 10 year old daughter. Her friend has come out to the classroom as changing genders. They watched videos on the subject and essentially were told everyone has the freedom to choose their sex and gender doesn't equal biology essentially. I have read your book of Theology of the Body for Beginners and it was amazing, but can you give me some "go to" compassionate conversation to spread to my children as well as non-Catholic friends who are asking about my decision to homeschool and the lgbtq movement? Qestion 3: Hello Christopher and Wendy! I was introduced to TOB through Dr. Juli Slattery's ministry, Authentic Intimacy. I have just finished reading Our Bodies Tell God's Story and I have been profoundly impacted and moved by TOB. I would say Our Bodies Tell God's Story is one of my favourite books ever! I have also been learning a lot from your podcast. Thank you for modeling a loving marriage together in your podcast! As a married woman I have questions about what sexual behaviors are honoring in the bedroom. Can you direct me to where I can have questions about this answered? I’m also wondering in what order I should read your books and resources? What are the next steps in educating myself about TOB. Thank you again for your ministry and for sharing your marriage through the podcast! Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com. Resources mentioned this week: View our COURSE SCHEDULE to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON! THE TRUTH AND MEANING OF HUMAN SEXUALITY: Guidelines for Education within the Family Beyond the Birds and the Bees: Raising Sexually Whole and Holy Kids Good News about Sex & Marriage When Harry Became Sally Desert Stream Eden Invitation Holy Sex FILL THESE HEARTS HEAVEN'S SONG: SEXUAL LOVE AS IT WAS MEANT TO BE THE LOVE THAT SATISFIES LOVE IS PATIENT, BUT I’M NOT: CONFESSIONS OF A RECOVERING PERFECTIONIST THEOLOGY OF THE BODY EXPLAINED AT THE HEART OF THE GOSPEL If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recomended on this podcast, contact: michele@tobinstitute.org Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram. Discover the Theology of the Body Institute. If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening! Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals. Featuring music by Mike Mangione.