The SelfWork Podcast

Johanna Kandel, founder of the National Alliance for Eating Disorders and author of "Life Beyond Your Eating Disorder," shares her journey from recovery to advocacy. She discusses the emotional complexities women face during perimenopause, highlighting the intertwined challenges of mental and physical health. Kandel emphasizes the importance of seeking help, the genetic and behavioral factors behind eating disorders, and the need for compassion in supporting recovery. She inspires listeners with her belief that full recovery is possible, no matter the age.

Dr. Pam Buchanan, a board-certified physician and mental well-being advocate, dives into the pressing issue of physicians and depression. She shares her powerful insights on the emotional toll healthcare workers faced during the pandemic and the stigma surrounding mental health in the Black community. Dr. Buchanan highlights the importance of self-care for medical professionals and discusses her work with the Lorna Breen Foundation to prevent physician suicide. Her passionate stance against systemic pressures adds a compelling layer to her advocacy for mental health support.

What is optimism fatigue? Is it a new a kind of depression?In this episode of SelfWork, I’m thinking aloud a bit with you … if what we’re experiencing is a new kind of depression – one that’s mixed in with anxiety and fatigue. What’s it called? Optimism fatigue. It may not be diagnosable, but as I’ve considered my own situation, I realize that I’m having to dig a little deeper to find comfort that I can offer to others. It’s not that I can’t find it. But it’s harder. There’s a big difference between false enthusiasm and true optimism or hope. And I’ll hope that what I’ve learned from research and then, adding in my own two bits, will guide you in your own quest for emotional balance – and even optimism.The listener email for today is from a young woman who’s despairing about the emotional abuse she’s received from several partners – yet yearns to create a family with children. I told her that I’d be using her question today so hopefully she’s listening – I’ll do my best to give her, and you, some helpful ideas.Vital Links:LinkedIn 2020 question from Warren SchlichtingSelfWork episode on languishingOptimism fatigue versus languishingBeth Burgess on the difference between optimism and positivityThe "wanting mind" as described by Dharma WisdomYou can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!.   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

What was your "job" in your family?Most of us love to take tests like the Enneagram or the Myers/Briggs to find out what the test might have to say about our personality style or our strengths and vulnerabilities. But something you might also gravitate to – in thinking about what’s called your family of origin – or the family you grew up in – is talking about the roles each of the children played in the family - or what was your "job" in your family. The six most commonly agreed upon roles are called Hero, Scapegoat, Lost Child, Mascot, Caretaker/Enabler and Golden Child – and we’ll go through all of these in detail!So today we’re going talk about the role you played in your family and maybe even the role you’re STILL playing in your family. And… as always… what can you do about it if you’re not profiting from it in a healthy way.The listener voicemail is from a young woman who recognizes her role as “the golden child” in her family – as the one who can make no mistakes in a parent’s eyes. And her issue with realizing her mom – who is working on her own self-improvement – treats her sister very differently. And what should she do about that? I’ll have some ideas for her – and you.Vital Links: Heidi Priebe's excellent Medium article on jobs children are given in familiesResource with even more "roles" children playAdvertiser's Link:Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

What are seven good reasons to stop therapy? That's the focus of this week's SelfWork!It’s often a very moving moment when you leave therapy. Here’s someone that you’ve trusted and confided in for weeks or months – or sometimes even years. And it’s time to walk out of their office and do without that resource. As I like to say, it’s my job to do myself out of a job. And I celebrate with people I’ve worked with when they leave to hopefully use the skills learned, and enjoy the feelings of having worked through whatever pain or trauma had been plaguing them.But there are other good reasons to stop therapy - and we'll talk about seven of them.Our listener voicemail this week is a bit different; the topic is how to handle your feelings if you’re a caregiver, but the person you’re caring for led a life of self-neglect, which inevitably led to the illness they have now.Vital Links:Cathy Sikorski's SelfWork episodeAdvertiser's Link and Special Offer:Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.There’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!         Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

The focus today is on what I call "the shame and self-blame game."One listener told me recently that she wondered for a long time - “Did I allow my abuse?” How many of you feel to blame for your own abuse? And does that very shame and self-blame make it even more important to keep what happened secret? You bet it can. It’s this irrational shame we’re going to tackle. Because you’re looking back on what happened with the eyes of an adult - not through the eyes of the child you were. And that's a very vital distinction.Our listener voicemail asks a simple question: How can I help my daughter who fits your description of perfectly hidden depression to a tee? I’m so scared for her. It’s a great question because it’s respecting or sensing how difficult it might be for your loved one to look at themselves with compassion.Vital Links: SelfWork Episode: Learning how to feel and release difficult emotions –Check out my YouTube channel !Good Will Hunting YouTube clipAdvertiser's Link:Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

We’re talking about sexual abuse today – to be more specific, the horrors of marital rape. Please if you have any kind of history of abuse which many of you I’m sure do – please listen cautiously as the facts of the case could be highly triggering for you. For international abuse hotlines please click here.You may have heard about the French woman, Gisèle Pelicot, who was the victim of multiple rapes – by multiple men including her husband – while drugged. This occurred over several years. All men were found guilty.I know many men who voice their horrors of marital rape, or any sexual violence. And I’ve worked with male victims of sexual abuse. Yet women live with fear every day – that the simplest of choices, like turning on a light when you get into your apartment or making a choice to jog a different way home – as now, if someone was watching you, they’d know where you live or they’d get you alone. The fear is constant for girls and women, and often occurs in marriage and families.Our listener voicemail is from someone who finds that she’s mimicking the very harsh anger she’d heard from a parent - and hated – so what’s going on when you begin to do what you don’t want to do or become who you don’t want to be? She’s taken the first step of awareness and hopefully I can suggest the next ones.Vital Links:The Independent (Great Britain) article on the Pelicot case/arrestHuffPost article by a victim of rape in response to the Pelicot caseGuardian article challenging the idea that "rape is more about power than sex" Psych Today article in 2022 giving marital rape statisticsAdvertiser's Link and Special Offer:Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.There’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Join positive psychologist Jodi Wellman, author of 'You Only Die Once,' as she dives into the importance of living a fulfilling life. She shares personal battles with anorexia and bulimia, discovering purpose through acceptance into a Master's program. Jodi discusses different cultural perspectives on death, emphasizing how embracing mortality can enhance our lives. With a blend of humor and honesty, she inspires listeners to savor each moment and pursue a life rich in meaning, reminding us that every day counts.

Explore the epidemic of loneliness and how modern technology can ironically deepen isolation. Discover the difference between solitude and loneliness, and the importance of self-care and mindset shifts for healthier relationships. A structured six-step process is unveiled, encouraging compassion and actionable steps to combat loneliness. Personal connections emerge as vital, with shared experiences underscoring the journey from isolation to connection, providing hope and practical advice for emotional well-being.

We're announcing a new CBT app, the Feeling Great App! ! It's founded by one of the forefathers of Cognitive Behavior Therapy, David Burns MD. He's a renowned psychiatrist, and as we learn in this episode, a doctor who fought the odds to create a technique to treat depression that actually worked.Dr. Burns is the best-selling author of the books Feeling Good and Feeling Great, which have sold over 7 million combined copies worldwide. Users of the Feeling Great App, have reported a reduction in depressive feelings, on average, a whopping 55%, with similar reductions in anger, loneliness, and other difficult emotions.Advertiser's Link and Special Offer:Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.There’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands