Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

“Love the Lord your God with all of your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” (Mark 12:30 NIV, emphasis added).   Remember the lawyer who tried to trick Jesus by asking him to name the greatest commandment? (Lawyers, am I right?) Jesus, knowing this guy’s antics, responded with, “Love the Lord your God with all of your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” (Mark 12:30).    It’s this verse that will guide us the next few weeks as we pray for our kids to be marked by loving God with their heart, soul, mind, and strength.    We’ll kick off this week by praying for our kids’ hearts, which is not just critical to their health—it’s also the epicenter of their spiritual life.    It’s central to their thoughts and actions and even the words that come out of their mouths. When Jesus talks about loving God with all their hearts, he’s referencing their emotions and decisions.    In order to love God with all of our hearts, we have to prioritize spending time with him and in his word. Having time with our creator enables us to know what he wants for our lives, and we can’t help but pursue him and the things he values and wants for our families.    Let’s pray this week that our kids learn to love God with all of their hearts, beginning with prioritizing time with him and pursuing him in all that they do. Join me on today’s podcast and let’s pray together for our kids. Our Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESSPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This week we’re wrapping up our Pardon the Mess series on brave conversations we need to have with our kids. Dr. Ken Wilgus is with us to talk about addiction and its impact on today’s kids.    Believe you me, I would rather ignore this topic too and hope it never becomes an issue rather than face it head on—however, it’s too significant of a problem in today’s culture to idly stand by.   Dr. Wilgus and I discuss these topics: Defining addiction and the idea of addictive personalities, drugs, alcohol, and vaping—how to discipline when/if your child experiments, video games and the time our kids spend playing them, how parents can deal with addiction and avoid enabling, important conversations to have with our kids beginning at an early age    I’m so thankful for the information Dr. Ken shares today, and I know we will all be better for having listened.    Please take a minute to share this with your friends—it’s too important of a topic to take lightly.Our Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESSPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

As Easter approaches in the next few weeks, it’s the perfect time to begin praying that the power of the cross impacts every area of our kids’ lives.   It is an incredible assurance knowing that, by accepting Jesus, our kids have a new eternal destination. But we’re also praying for a daily life transformation.   When our kids become Christians, we should begin looking for (and hopefully seeing) fruit in their lives. Jesus said those who follow him will produce spiritual fruit, and it’s by this fruit you will know them (Matthew 7:20).    In Galatians, Paul describes some attributes of a life without Christ, including anger, idolatry, jealousy, selfishness, impurity, and strife. In contrast, with Christ we start to see the spiritual fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control.   Thankfully, this is not simply a checklist of things we’re constantly trying to achieve. Instead, it’s produced by allowing the Holy Spirit to work within us. Without even trying, our kids will produce fruit that’s visible to the world around them. This fruit can either be produced by the Holy Spirit or produced by their own spirit.   Our prayer is that our kids will submit to the Holy Spirit’s leadership, resulting in less of their own fruit and more of his. This week, let’s pray that the Holy Spirit produces fruit in our kids that leads others to trust Jesus and his great sacrifice at the cross.Our Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESSPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We’re kicking off week two of brave conversations we need to have with our kids, and it’s a doozie (or at least for me it is).   I, for one, am particularly proud of myself for being brave enough to have a conversation around the birds and the bees in the confines of my home, much less on a podcast with all of you!   Thankfully, Mary Flo Ridley and Megan Michelson speak into this topic biblically and quite practically—and I couldn’t be more grateful.    We cover everything from the hang-ups we have as parents when it comes to talking about sex with our kids, the importance of using correct anatomical technology (my bad), and shaping our family’s narrative in this important area before culture does it for us.    If you struggle to have conversations around this topic and need a little encouragement and practical wherewithal... I promise that today’s podcast is for you!    Check out there online course, Birds & Bees.Our Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESSPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This week we’re praying a hearty topic over our kids as we focus on the armor of God.    Most of us don’t spend a lot of time contemplating how to fight against the devil’s schemes, but Scripture does. Thankfully, Jesus has already won our ultimate battle by his death on the cross and resurrection from the grave. But, even then, there will still be trouble in this world because we have a real Enemy who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10).   As we face the visible (and often invisible) battles each day, Satan’s success hinges on catching us unprepared and with our guard down. Let’s pray that our kids are battle-ready by wearing the armor of God, as seen in Ephesians 6:13–17:   The belt of truth: Pray that God’s truth will defeat the enemy’s lies in their lives. The breastplate of righteousness: Pray that they withstand attacks of impurity and wrongdoing by clinging to righteousness. Feet fitted with the gospel of peace: Pray for a willingness to go and share the gospel. The shield of faith: Pray for protection from doubt, fear, and anxiety. The helmet of salvation: Pray for a mind controlled by God. The sword of the Spirit: Pray that God’s word is their offense, knowing it’s sharper than any sword.   Take a minute to listen to today’s podcast, and then use the list above as your guide for praying all week for kids that are battle ready!Our Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESSPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We’re focusing the next few weeks of Pardon the Mess on brave conversations we need to have with our kids.    This week we have licensed counselor Sissy Goff with us straight from Nashville. We’re chatting about anxiety in our kids and some of the hard emotions they are facing after this last year.    Sissy and I cover these topics around anxiety and mental health: Questions to ask your kids to gauge their anxiety level, strategies to implement when dealing with anxiety, eating disorders and other mental health issues increasing in teens, and common parenting mistakes in dealing with anxiety.   I especially loved Sissy’s explanation of anger being a secondary emotion that often stems from issues of fear and anxiety.    It’s a good reminder that what meets the eye is not always a true representation of what’s going on inside of our kids.    As we think through anxiety in our children this week, I want to leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Sissy’s new book, Brave: A Teen Girl’s Guide to Beating Worry and Anxiety:    “All the girls I’ve ever met who are anxious have a few things in common: they’re bright and conscientious, they care and feel deeply, and they try hard. Those very gifts are sometimes the things that make us more anxious. Worry’s voice does not have the power to define you. That job belongs to you and the God who loves and delights in you.”    What a great reminder of why we must have brave conversations with our kids around this topic.Our Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESSPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

As we begin a new week of praying for our kids, it may seem that praying they are marked by “refinement” is a bit odd; however, we’re asking the Lord to sift out any impurities that keep them from God’s best in their lives.       Refinement is the process of using heat to remove impurities from metal. Only after the gold is refined do the most valuable qualities remain because the impurities and lesser qualities have been eliminated.    God is in the constant process of refining all of us. Even though we’re created in his image, we are free-willed human beings riddled with impurities that don’t line up with who we were created to be. This refinement is best accomplished through trials in our lives, which may be uncomfortable in the moment but are important nonetheless.       As we’re praying for our kids to be marked by refinement, let’s not ask God to remove our kids’ obstacles but rather to remove their impurities. Let’s pray that when the heat intensifies, our kids learn to trust that the One who allows the fire will also bring them through it.   Looking forward to praying God’s refinement over our kids this week.Our Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESSPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Candace Cameron Bure is on the show today! It’s as if nothing else matters having just reached a new Pardon the Mess podcasting pinnacle. 😀 💕 🙌    To say I love Candace is an understatement of epic proportions.    First of all, she’s Hallmark royalty, and there’s not a one of us that hasn’t needed movies with predictability and a happy ending after the year we’ve weathered. And don’t even get me started with her Full House greatness that marked all of our childhoods.    But then hearing about her life growing up in show business and how her faith has played into her career... well, it’s almost too much.    Candace (which is what I call her now because we’re best friends) very vulnerably shares the struggles she’s recently faced with social media critics and her best parenting advice having raised three kids. She also talks about how she came to know Christ and the impact it has on all facets of her life today.    Check out her new children’s book, Candace’s Playful Puppy, based on the fruit of the spirit, faithfulness. You’ll definitely want to grab it for the younger kids in your life.    Yes, I’m all over the place, and yes I’m giddy!    Please just take a few minutes today and enjoy our conversation with Candace Cameron Bure. Our Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESSPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This week we’re praying for our kids to live each day surrendered to the Lord.     The idea of living a “surrendered” life may be one of those confusing concepts we hear about at church but don’t know how to practically implement. It’s the antithesis of trying to “work” our way into a right relationship with God—instead, it’s allowing the Spirit of God to enter into us, shaping us into something greater than we could be on our own.     The first and most significant act of surrender we can pray over our kids is their choice to surrender to the lordship of Christ by accepting Jesus as their Savior.    But, even after our kids have accepted Christ, we can pray that they surrender their words, plans, dreams, finances, and relationships to the Lord.     W. Tozer reminds us of the great benefit of living surrendered to God: “The man or woman who is wholly or joyously surrendered to Christ can’t make a wrong decision—any choice will be the right one.”    Join me in praying that our kids live each day in a way that’s pleasing to God and brings him glory.  Our Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESSPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who inspired you to do the very thing that deep down you knew God was calling you to do? That happened to me with today’s conversation with Christy Nockels.    She gave the most grace-filled, permission-giving reminder of the need for rest in our lives. As parents, that’s something that’s so easily neglected in the busyness of raising kids.    Christy is a singer, songwriter, author, and host of the podcast Glorious in the Mundane. She shares with us how God taught her to begin living from a heart of rest during a season where he called her to leave a busy touring schedule to stay home with her family.    In the quiet moments, God taught Christy to seek him in the deep places she had been neglecting so that she might live from the inside out instead of the outside in. (So convicting, but soooo good.)    I walked away with so many truths for my own life, but I think these will resonate with all of us: We need rest. Rest comes from surrendering to our creator. Our tendency to “hustle” prevents God’s supernatural work in our lives. It’s critical we learn to guard our time in order to prioritize physical and spiritual rest. Living from the inside out comes from resting in our Savior.    Join me today for a powerful conversation on rest. I have a feeling you’re going to walk away with the encouragement you didn’t know you needed. Our Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESSPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy