While We're Waiting® - Hope After Child Loss

As I've been looking back through all the emails passing back and forth between the newspaper, our friends and family, the church staff, etc., that went on in those days immediately following Hannah's homegoing, I'm struck by how "together" I appeared to be.  My communication skills were intact and I was generally coherent, but I remember none of it.Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the While We're Waiting podcast in this year-long series in which I share our family’s experiences as our teenage daughter Hannah battled glioblastoma brain cancer from February 2008 through February 2009.  My desire is to process through the events of those twelve months with the perspective that 16 years has brought … and point listeners to hope in Jesus along the way.I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.) ** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.  We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting! Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parentsClick HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country. Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channelClick HERE to follow our public Facebook pageClick HERE to follow us on Instagram Click HERE to follow us on Twitter Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministryContact Jill by email at:  jill@whilewerewaiting.org 

Most families don't have the opportunity to prepare for their child's death the way we did.  We had known for a year that Hannah's cancer could be fatal, and even though we prayed earnestly for earthly healing, we knew from the beginning that God may choose to heal her in Heaven.  And, of course, we eventually reached the point where we knew her death was a certainty unless He dramatically intervened. So in the final days of her life, we frequently discussed what her actual passing might be like.  We'd been assured that it would be peaceful ending when the tumors on her brainstorm caused her to simply cease breathing, and that's how we imagined it.  It would be a beautiful moment as we sang hymns around her bed, maybe even getting a glimpse of a smile on her face as she got her first peek into Heaven.  As you know from yesterday's episode, this was not the case.Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the While We're Waiting podcast in this year-long series in which I share our family’s experiences as our teenage daughter Hannah battled glioblastoma brain cancer from February 2008 through February 2009.  My desire is to process through the events of those twelve months with the perspective that 16 years has brought … and point listeners to hope in Jesus along the way.I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.) ** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.  We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting! Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parentsClick HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country. Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channelClick HERE to follow our public Facebook pageClick HERE to follow us on Instagram Click HERE to follow us on Twitter Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministryContact Jill by email at:  jill@whilewerewaiting.org 

Today's episode is a continuation of my conversation with Erik and Susan Totera about their daughter Reilly, an amazing young woman with a strong entrepreneurial spirit, who went to Heaven a little over two years ago.  Today, they share how they are navigating the waves of grief, how their perspectives have shifted, and how they continue to find strength from the Lord in the face of sorrow. They remind us that while grief is heavy, it does not have to be carried alone.  Lean in and be encouraged.  Click HERE to listen to Part One of my conversation with the Toteras!Click HERE to visit RaggaWedding, the wedding decor business Reilly started which is still going strong!Click HERE to register or to learn more about the Our Hearts Are Home conference coming up in Lynchburg, Virginia, in April!  Brad and I would love to see you there!  I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.) ** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.  We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting! Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parentsClick HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country. Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channelClick HERE to follow our public Facebook pageClick HERE to follow us on Instagram Click HERE to follow us on Twitter Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministryContact Jill by email at:  jill@whilewerewaiting.org 

I woke with a start sixteen years ago today.  I had slept for several hours without interruption, which had not happened in a long time.  It scared me, and I immediately jumped up to check on Hannah.  She had slept all night, and was still sleeping.  She looked different somehow; better, in fact.  She was sleeping in a more naturally relaxed position and her color seemed to be improved.  Brad came into the room about that time (he and Bethany were staying in a room right next door) and he also thought she seemed better ... Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the While We're Waiting podcast in this year-long series in which I share our family’s experiences as our teenage daughter Hannah battled glioblastoma brain cancer from February 2008 through February 2009.  My desire is to process through the events of those twelve months with the perspective that 16 years has brought … and point listeners to hope in Jesus along the way.I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.) ** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.  We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting! Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parentsClick HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country. Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channelClick HERE to follow our public Facebook pageClick HERE to follow us on Instagram Click HERE to follow us on Twitter Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministryContact Jill by email at:  jill@whilewerewaiting.org 

The entire time we were at the hospice center had a distinct air of unreality.  The fact that we had reached the point where we were re-living the anniversaries of the events which had brought us to this place just added to that sense of illusion.  Surely this wasn't happening to our family.  Surely this was all some kind of crazy dream.  Surely Hannah was going to be fine. But no ... there we were, in a hospice center with our 17-year-old daughter whose grasp on this life was becoming more tenuous. Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the While We're Waiting podcast in this year-long series in which I share our family’s experiences as our teenage daughter Hannah battled glioblastoma brain cancer from February 2008 through February 2009.  My desire is to process through the events of those twelve months with the perspective that 16 years has brought … and point listeners to hope in Jesus along the way.I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.) ** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.  We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting! Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parentsClick HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country. Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channelClick HERE to follow our public Facebook pageClick HERE to follow us on Instagram Click HERE to follow us on Twitter Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministryContact Jill by email at:  jill@whilewerewaiting.org 

It's a very surreal thing to write an obituary for your own child.  It's even more surreal when your child is sitting beside you as you write it.After Hannah's doctor confirmed that there was nothing else medically that could be done for her and that unless God intervened in a miraculous way she would be going to Heaven soon, I decided to begin making preparations for her funeral.  If you know me you know I'm a planner by nature, so this was not unusual although the situation certainly was.  I was afraid that once Hannah left for Heaven I would be too distraught to think clearly enough to plan something so important.Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the While We're Waiting podcast in this year-long series in which I share our family’s experiences as our teenage daughter Hannah battled glioblastoma brain cancer from February 2008 through February 2009.  My desire is to process through the events of those twelve months with the perspective that 16 years has brought … and point listeners to hope in Jesus along the way.I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.) ** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.  We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting! Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parentsClick HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country. Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channelClick HERE to follow our public Facebook pageClick HERE to follow us on Instagram Click HERE to follow us on Twitter Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministryContact Jill by email at:  jill@whilewerewaiting.org 

It’s one of the most ancient of all questions, “Why does a good God allow people to suffer in this world?  I discuss three options in my email from sixteen years ago today.  Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the While We're Waiting podcast in this year-long series in which I share our family’s experiences as our teenage daughter Hannah battled glioblastoma brain cancer from February 2008 through February 2009.  My desire is to process through the events of those twelve months with the perspective that 16 years has brought … and point listeners to hope in Jesus along the way.I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.) ** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.  We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting! Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parentsClick HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country. Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channelClick HERE to follow our public Facebook pageClick HERE to follow us on Instagram Click HERE to follow us on Twitter Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministryContact Jill by email at:  jill@whilewerewaiting.org 

On this day sixteen years ago, Hannah received two surprise phone calls, both from well-known musicians who had played a significant role in her life.  Each of them spoke words of encouragement and and gave us special memories with Hannah that we will always treasure.  Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the While We're Waiting podcast in this year-long series in which I share our family’s experiences as our teenage daughter Hannah battled glioblastoma brain cancer from February 2008 through February 2009.  My desire is to process through the events of those twelve months with the perspective that 16 years has brought … and point listeners to hope in Jesus along the way.I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.) ** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.  We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting! Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parentsClick HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country. Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channelClick HERE to follow our public Facebook pageClick HERE to follow us on Instagram Click HERE to follow us on Twitter Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministryContact Jill by email at:  jill@whilewerewaiting.org 

Many people came to visit us when we were in the hospice center, but only a few actually got to see Hannah during that time. She was never one to like a lot of attention even before she got sick, and I knew she would not be comfortable with visitors, especially in her condition.  We wanted to protect her dignity as much as possible; therefore, only the people we knew she would really want to see were allowed in.  Three of her best friends from elementary school were included in that group. Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the While We're Waiting podcast in this year-long series in which I share our family’s experiences as our teenage daughter Hannah battled glioblastoma brain cancer from February 2008 through February 2009.  My desire is to process through the events of those twelve months with the perspective that 16 years has brought … and point listeners to hope in Jesus along the way.I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.) ** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.  We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting! Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parentsClick HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country. Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channelClick HERE to follow our public Facebook pageClick HERE to follow us on Instagram Click HERE to follow us on Twitter Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministryContact Jill by email at:  jill@whilewerewaiting.org 

You may recall that on Hannah's last day at Children's Hospital before we moved to hospice, some dear friends brought us a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Hannah ate a couple bites of one, but let us know with her limited communication skills that it wasn't as good as a spudnut.  Now, if you're wondering what in the world a "spudnut" is, let me fill you in. In El Dorado, Arkansas, there is a little hole in the wall called the Spudnut Shoppe, where they make the most delicious doughnuts in the world. I am told that they are made with potato flour ... thus the name.  That little comment resulted in seven dozen spudnuts have been delivered to the hospice center over the next few days!  Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the While We're Waiting podcast in this year-long series in which I share our family’s experiences as our teenage daughter Hannah battled glioblastoma brain cancer from February 2008 through February 2009.  My desire is to process through the events of those twelve months with the perspective that 16 years has brought … and point listeners to hope in Jesus along the way.I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.) ** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.  We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting! Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parentsClick HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country. Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channelClick HERE to follow our public Facebook pageClick HERE to follow us on Instagram Click HERE to follow us on Twitter Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministryContact Jill by email at:  jill@whilewerewaiting.org