Inappropriate Questions

CBC
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Jul 28, 2021 • 39min

Can I ask a Black friend “How can I do better?”

Wanting to do better when it comes to fighting racism is great—but even with good intentions, asking the Black people in your life to tell you how isn’t the way to start. Elena and Harv talk to author and activist Frederick Joseph about what makes this question frustrating, where to find resources, and how to fill someone’s metaphorical cup. Professor Andrea Davis explains emotional labour, our responsibility to seek to know, and how “doing better” isn’t a quick and easy process. Connect with our guests below: Frederick Joseph IG: @FredTJosephTw: @FredTJoseph Andrea Davis: Tw: @Adavis777A Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast For transcripts of this series, please visit: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/podcastnews/inappropriate-questions-transcripts-listen-1.6740372
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Jul 14, 2021 • 43min

(Re-release) “Why don’t you drink?”

This week, we’re bringing back an episode from our first season. Harv doesn’t drink alcohol, and he doesn’t have a problem with people asking him why. He and Elena speak to numerous guests to find out whether or not they think “Why don’t you drink?” is an inappropriate question. Along the way, there’s a lot to unpack about alcohol’s role in our society and our personal lives. This episode was originally released February 18, 2019. Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast For transcripts of this series, please visit: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/podcastnews/inappropriate-questions-transcripts-listen-1.6740372
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Jun 30, 2021 • 48min

Is it okay to ask an adoptee “Do you know your real parents?”

Adoptees all have different experiences when it comes to family. We might assume some parents are “real” and others aren’t—and that anyone who doesn’t know their birth parents is searching for them. But no one term or story fits for everyone who’s adopted. Elena and Harv talk to podcaster Kristen Meinzer about what’s behind the word “real” and the myth that all adoptive parents are great parents. Adoption advocate Tony Hynes shares his story of growing up as a Black child raised by two white moms, while staying connected to his birth family. Raven Sinclair, a professor of social work who was adopted as part of the Sixties Scoop, talks about reconnecting with her birth family and culture, and how social systems incentivize the removal of Indigenous children from their families. Connect with our guests below: Kristen Meizner: IG: @k10meinzer Tw: @kristenmeinzer Tony Hynes: IG: @tony_hy Raven Sinclair: Tw: @JustSaying2040 Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast For transcripts of this series, please visit: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/podcastnews/inappropriate-questions-transcripts-listen-1.6740372
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Jun 23, 2021 • 23min

Introducing: Telling Our Twisted Histories

Words have the power to shape how we see the world and each other. In Telling Our Twisted Histories, host Kaniehti:io Horn guides listeners through over 70 conversations with people from 15 Indigenous communities sharing their truths about the impact of words on our perspectives, cultures, and lives. Together we will decolonize our histories – and ourselves – one word at a time. More episodes are available at smarturl.it/twistedhistories
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Jun 16, 2021 • 37min

Can I ask a polyamorous person “Do you get jealous?”

When every love song and romcom is about finding your one true love, the idea of having multiple romantic partners can raise a lot of questions. One thing polyamorous people get asked a lot is whether they get jealous. But what really is jealousy and where does it come from? And is it different for people who are non-monogamous? Elena and Harv put these questions to polyamorous therapist Laura Turnbull, who also shares the rewards and challenges of non-monogamy. Polyamory educator Gabrielle Smith gives some tips on handling jealousy and ways to hype yourself up. Connect with our guests below: Laura Turnbull: IG: @thequeerpsychologist Gabrielle Smith: IG: @bygabriellesmith Tw: @GabrielleASmith Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast For transcripts of this series, please visit: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/podcastnews/inappropriate-questions-season-3-transcripts-listen-1.6740370
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Jun 2, 2021 • 37min

Should I ask my coworker “How much do you make?”

Talking about money can be uncomfortable, especially when we grow up hearing that it’s a taboo topic. It can be really scary to ask a coworker how much they make. But does talking about our salaries more openly lead to more equal pay? Harv and Elena talk to Monica about what she learned from asking this question to her coworkers. YA author L.L. McKinney shares why she started #PublishingPaidMe and whether large-scale pay transparency can lead to change. Diversity and inclusion expert Raafi Alidina talks about the limits of asking this question and what steps employers can take. Connect with our guests below: Monica: IG: @monica.yumeng L.L. McKinney: Tw: @ElleOnWords Raafi Alidina: Tw: @ralidina Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast For transcripts of this series, please visit: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/podcastnews/inappropriate-questions-transcripts-listen-1.6740372
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May 19, 2021 • 21min

What does it mean to ask “How are you?” in a pandemic?

In the pandemic, answering “How are you?” isn’t as easy as saying “I’m fine.” Elena and Harv chat with linguistics professor Deborah Tannen and try to figure out if we should still ask “How are you?” when things just haven’t been great. Also featuring some of our favourite pandemic email greetings and signoffs. For more on this question, check out our Season 2 episode “How are you?” where we explore what this question means when you’re grieving. Connect with Deborah on Facebook: @deborah.tannen.1 Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast For transcripts of this series, please visit: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/podcastnews/inappropriate-questions-transcripts-listen-1.6740372
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May 5, 2021 • 41min

Is asking “Where are you from?” appropriate small talk?

It’s a staple of small talk, but should it be? People are genuinely curious to learn about each other’s backgrounds or cultures. While this question might start a good conversation, it can often make people feel othered and unwelcome. So where do we go from here? Harv and Elena speak with journalist Eternity Martis about getting this question as a Black woman both in big cities and smaller towns. Eva Jewell offers some insight into how this question can be a great way to make connections when Indigenous peoples ask it to each other. Psychology professor Kevin Nadal shares some helpful tips for anyone who asks or gets asked this question. Connect with our guests below: Eternity Martis: @eternitymartis on Twitter Eva Jewell: @ebaans_ on Twitter Kevin Nadal: @kevinnadal on Twitter and Instagram Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast For transcripts of this series, please visit: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/podcastnews/inappropriate-questions-transcripts-listen-1.6740372
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Apr 21, 2021 • 41min

Is it okay to ask an amputee “What happened to you?”

Not every amputee has a shocking story behind their amputation, and those who do don’t always want to talk about. When your experience is a visible part of you, people often ask about it. Elena and Harv talk with musician Julianna Romanyk about her first day of school speech as a congenital amputee. Comedian Courtney Gilmour shares her thoughts on “inspiration porn” and how cab drivers inspire some of her comedy. Reporter Kerry Benjoe tells us how she uses this question to start important conversations about domestic violence. And adaptive athlete Jamie Gane shares what strangers get wrong about his amputation (no, he wasn’t in the army). Connect with our guests below: Julianna Romanyk: @heyromanyk on Twitter Courtney Gilmour: @courtneyugh on Twitter and @courtneyjgilmour on Instagram Kerry Benjoe: @kerryberryxox on Twitter Jamie Gane: @jamieganeadaptiveathlete on Instagram Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast For transcripts of this series, please visit: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/podcastnews/inappropriate-questions-transcripts-listen-1.6740372
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Apr 14, 2021 • 2min

Season 3 is getting even more inappropriate!

2020 was wild but 2021 is wilder with even more inappropriate questions. Harv and Elena are back to unpack more tricky conversations with our guests through personal stories, advice, and dad jokes. Season 3 is coming your way April 21st, with new episodes every other week.

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