

Inappropriate Questions
CBC
Have you ever been curious to know the answer to a question that might be intrusive or too personal for other people? On their biweekly podcast Inappropriate Questions, now in its third season, cohosts Elena Hudgins Lyle and Harvinder Wadhwa make a space for curiosity where guests can unpack the tricky questions they get asked and learn stories about them—whether they ask if polyamorous people cope with jealousy in relationships, if Indigenous people are full Native, or brave the dreaded “have you lost weight” assumption. Created by Hudgins Lyle alongside producers Sabrina Bertsch and Cindy Long, the podcast was built out of a school project while they were studying Media Production in Toronto, Ontario. Bertsch, who’s mixed-race, had been asked a lot of questions about her background and ethnicity after studying abroad for a semester. Long and Lyle, both LGBT, would also get frequently asked about their identity and sexuality. Even if these frustrations served as a jumping-off point for them, they quickly realized that they could also learn about a variety of topics from others too—especially from their parents and older generations. So they auditioned a “dad-like” figure to be a counterpart as co-host. Wadhwa, a project manager with an engineering degree, was the unanimous choice. “Harv was the very first interview we did,” Lyle says. “After the interview, he was like, ‘All right, how many more of these do you have to go?’ You know I'm it, right? You can stop now.’” In each episode, guests share stories about being asked the week’s specific inappropriate question. Though, occasionally, they'll have an expert or academic who can break down more of the historical and social aspect of the question. Both Hudgins Lyle and Wadhwa bridge together their different generational perspectives to challenge themselves and their guests, having casual, yet meaningful conversations that are engaging, unpredictable, and humorous. “Though I've been in Canada for over 20 years, I consider myself an immigrant coming from India,” Wadhwa says. “So, what the show is also trying to do is also bring the balance. Because if everybody's thinking the same way, then we lose out a lot.” Even if they sometimes step into difficult territory, what they both hope to provide with each episode is a starting point for listeners to ease into these topics. “It could be that we've left you with some new ideas and perspectives from the guests who have this lived experience,” Lyle says. “You don't need to change and develop overnight, but hopefully, we've given you a starting place where you can then do your own research or reflection.”
Episodes
Mentioned books

Jul 28, 2021 • 39min
Can I ask a Black friend “How can I do better?”
Wanting to do better when it comes to fighting racism is great—but even with good intentions, asking the Black people in your life to tell you how isn’t the way to start. Elena and Harv talk to author and activist Frederick Joseph about what makes this question frustrating, where to find resources, and how to fill someone’s metaphorical cup. Professor Andrea Davis explains emotional labour, our responsibility to seek to know, and how “doing better” isn’t a quick and easy process.
Connect with our guests below:
Frederick Joseph IG: @FredTJosephTw: @FredTJoseph
Andrea Davis: Tw: @Adavis777A
Follow us!
Twitter: @IQ_Podcast
Instagram: @IQ_Podcast
For transcripts of this series, please visit: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/podcastnews/inappropriate-questions-transcripts-listen-1.6740372

Jul 14, 2021 • 43min
(Re-release) “Why don’t you drink?”
This week, we’re bringing back an episode from our first season. Harv doesn’t drink alcohol, and he doesn’t have a problem with people asking him why. He and Elena speak to numerous guests to find out whether or not they think “Why don’t you drink?” is an inappropriate question. Along the way, there’s a lot to unpack about alcohol’s role in our society and our personal lives.
This episode was originally released February 18, 2019.
Follow us!
Twitter: @IQ_Podcast
Instagram: @IQ_Podcast
For transcripts of this series, please visit: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/podcastnews/inappropriate-questions-transcripts-listen-1.6740372

Jun 30, 2021 • 48min
Is it okay to ask an adoptee “Do you know your real parents?”
Adoptees all have different experiences when it comes to family. We might assume some parents are “real” and others aren’t—and that anyone who doesn’t know their birth parents is searching for them. But no one term or story fits for everyone who’s adopted.
Elena and Harv talk to podcaster Kristen Meinzer about what’s behind the word “real” and the myth that all adoptive parents are great parents. Adoption advocate Tony Hynes shares his story of growing up as a Black child raised by two white moms, while staying connected to his birth family. Raven Sinclair, a professor of social work who was adopted as part of the Sixties Scoop, talks about reconnecting with her birth family and culture, and how social systems incentivize the removal of Indigenous children from their families.
Connect with our guests below:
Kristen Meizner: IG: @k10meinzer Tw: @kristenmeinzer
Tony Hynes: IG: @tony_hy
Raven Sinclair: Tw: @JustSaying2040
Follow us!
Twitter: @IQ_Podcast
Instagram: @IQ_Podcast
For transcripts of this series, please visit: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/podcastnews/inappropriate-questions-transcripts-listen-1.6740372

Jun 23, 2021 • 23min
Introducing: Telling Our Twisted Histories
Words have the power to shape how we see the world and each other. In Telling Our Twisted Histories, host Kaniehti:io Horn guides listeners through over 70 conversations with people from 15 Indigenous communities sharing their truths about the impact of words on our perspectives, cultures, and lives. Together we will decolonize our histories – and ourselves – one word at a time. More episodes are available at smarturl.it/twistedhistories

Jun 16, 2021 • 37min
Can I ask a polyamorous person “Do you get jealous?”
When every love song and romcom is about finding your one true love, the idea of having multiple romantic partners can raise a lot of questions. One thing polyamorous people get asked a lot is whether they get jealous. But what really is jealousy and where does it come from? And is it different for people who are non-monogamous?
Elena and Harv put these questions to polyamorous therapist Laura Turnbull, who also shares the rewards and challenges of non-monogamy. Polyamory educator Gabrielle Smith gives some tips on handling jealousy and ways to hype yourself up.
Connect with our guests below:
Laura Turnbull: IG: @thequeerpsychologist
Gabrielle Smith: IG: @bygabriellesmith Tw: @GabrielleASmith
Follow us!
Twitter: @IQ_Podcast
Instagram: @IQ_Podcast
For transcripts of this series, please visit: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/podcastnews/inappropriate-questions-season-3-transcripts-listen-1.6740370

Jun 2, 2021 • 37min
Should I ask my coworker “How much do you make?”
Talking about money can be uncomfortable, especially when we grow up hearing that it’s a taboo topic. It can be really scary to ask a coworker how much they make. But does talking about our salaries more openly lead to more equal pay?
Harv and Elena talk to Monica about what she learned from asking this question to her coworkers. YA author L.L. McKinney shares why she started #PublishingPaidMe and whether large-scale pay transparency can lead to change. Diversity and inclusion expert Raafi Alidina talks about the limits of asking this question and what steps employers can take.
Connect with our guests below:
Monica: IG: @monica.yumeng
L.L. McKinney: Tw: @ElleOnWords
Raafi Alidina: Tw: @ralidina
Follow us!
Twitter: @IQ_Podcast
Instagram: @IQ_Podcast
For transcripts of this series, please visit: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/podcastnews/inappropriate-questions-transcripts-listen-1.6740372

May 19, 2021 • 21min
What does it mean to ask “How are you?” in a pandemic?
In the pandemic, answering “How are you?” isn’t as easy as saying “I’m fine.” Elena and Harv chat with linguistics professor Deborah Tannen and try to figure out if we should still ask “How are you?” when things just haven’t been great. Also featuring some of our favourite pandemic email greetings and signoffs.
For more on this question, check out our Season 2 episode “How are you?” where we explore what this question means when you’re grieving.
Connect with Deborah on Facebook: @deborah.tannen.1
Follow us!
Twitter: @IQ_Podcast
Instagram: @IQ_Podcast
For transcripts of this series, please visit: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/podcastnews/inappropriate-questions-transcripts-listen-1.6740372

May 5, 2021 • 41min
Is asking “Where are you from?” appropriate small talk?
It’s a staple of small talk, but should it be? People are genuinely curious to learn about each other’s backgrounds or cultures. While this question might start a good conversation, it can often make people feel othered and unwelcome. So where do we go from here?
Harv and Elena speak with journalist Eternity Martis about getting this question as a Black woman both in big cities and smaller towns. Eva Jewell offers some insight into how this question can be a great way to make connections when Indigenous peoples ask it to each other. Psychology professor Kevin Nadal shares some helpful tips for anyone who asks or gets asked this question.
Connect with our guests below:
Eternity Martis: @eternitymartis on Twitter
Eva Jewell: @ebaans_ on Twitter
Kevin Nadal: @kevinnadal on Twitter and Instagram
Follow us!
Twitter: @IQ_Podcast
Instagram: @IQ_Podcast
For transcripts of this series, please visit: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/podcastnews/inappropriate-questions-transcripts-listen-1.6740372

Apr 21, 2021 • 41min
Is it okay to ask an amputee “What happened to you?”
Not every amputee has a shocking story behind their amputation, and those who do don’t always want to talk about. When your experience is a visible part of you, people often ask about it.
Elena and Harv talk with musician Julianna Romanyk about her first day of school speech as a congenital amputee. Comedian Courtney Gilmour shares her thoughts on “inspiration porn” and how cab drivers inspire some of her comedy. Reporter Kerry Benjoe tells us how she uses this question to start important conversations about domestic violence. And adaptive athlete Jamie Gane shares what strangers get wrong about his amputation (no, he wasn’t in the army).
Connect with our guests below:
Julianna Romanyk: @heyromanyk on Twitter
Courtney Gilmour: @courtneyugh on Twitter and @courtneyjgilmour on Instagram
Kerry Benjoe: @kerryberryxox on Twitter
Jamie Gane: @jamieganeadaptiveathlete on Instagram
Follow us!
Twitter: @IQ_Podcast
Instagram: @IQ_Podcast
For transcripts of this series, please visit: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/podcastnews/inappropriate-questions-transcripts-listen-1.6740372

Apr 14, 2021 • 2min
Season 3 is getting even more inappropriate!
2020 was wild but 2021 is wilder with even more inappropriate questions. Harv and Elena are back to unpack more tricky conversations with our guests through personal stories, advice, and dad jokes. Season 3 is coming your way April 21st, with new episodes every other week.


