Husband Material

How do you take action after relapse for growth and healing without using shame or punishment? After a porn relapse, what do appropriate consequences look like?Nick Stumbo and Trevor Winsor are members of the Executive Team at Pure Desire Ministries. Together, they host the popular Pure Desire Podcast.Free tools mentioned in this episode:Recovery Action Plan (for when a relapse has occurred)Escape Plan (for when we are triggered or tempted)Relapse Prevention Plan (for day-to-day life)The F.A.S.T.E.R. Scale (for self-awareness)Register for the Pure Desire Summit at puredesire.org/summit!Nick Stumbo is the Executive Director for Pure Desire. He has been in ministry leadership for over two decades. He was in pastoral ministry at East Hills Alliance Church in Kelso, Washington for 14 years. Nick has a Bachelor's in Pastoral Studies from Crown College, an MDiv from Bethel Seminary, and is a certified Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (PSAP). He has authored two books, Setting Us Free and Safe: Creating a Culture of Grace in a Climate of Shame.Trevor Winsor is the Marketing Director for Pure Desire. He has been in ministry leadership for 10 years. Trevor is a certified Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (PSAP). He has a Bachelor’s in Psychology from Corban University, a Master’s in Ministry & Leadership from Western Seminary, and is a licensed pastor. Trevor is passionate about integrating trauma and addiction healing with spiritual disciplines to produce holistic healing.Support the showTake the Husband Material Journey...Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTubeStep 2: Join the private Husband Material CommunityStep 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow PornStep 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!

In this episode, you'll hear the inspiring story of George Morning ("Coach G"). We talk about the challenges faced by black men and men of color in outgrowing porn—and how societal pressures, misconceptions, and the normalization of addiction intensify these challenges. Coach G highlights the importance of finding relatable support and the power of positive internal dialogue.George Morning (Coach G) is a Certified Addiction Recovery Coach. After 30+ years as an addict and losing family, finances, and faith, Coach G sought recovery in 2013 with The Mindful Habit. Since then, Coach G has helped thousands of men and women overcome their addictions, create healthier relationships, and live passionate lives.Check out Coach G's book: HabitLand (this is a paid link)Email: habitlandcoach@gmail.comWebsite: beyondhabitland.comSupport the showTake the Husband Material Journey...Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTubeStep 2: Join the private Husband Material CommunityStep 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow PornStep 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!

In this episode, I'll share 7 things that shifted my sexual fetish to become less intense, less frequent, less disruptive, and less arousing. NOTE: I believe trying to alter sexual attraction is both unethical and unhelpful. My fetish has not been removed or replaced, and that is not my goal. Rather, my fetish lost its power through a series of shifts that took place as I pursued healing and freedom from porn.Here are the 7 things that helped me:Talking about the fetishUnderstanding the fetishAppreciating the fetishAcknowledging the fetishCompleting the actionReceiving the real thingStopping the behaviorRelated episodes:Sexual Arousal vs. Sexual DesireThe Secret Behind Sexual FetishesHow To Interpret Sexual FantasiesUnwanted Sexual AttractionSupport the showTake the Husband Material Journey...Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTubeStep 2: Join the private Husband Material CommunityStep 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow PornStep 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!

What does psychodrama actually look like? In this episode, Rick Carlson tells the amazing story of his psychodrama process at the Husband Material Leaders Retreat. Register now for the upcoming Husband Material Retreat at husbandmaterial.com/retreatThe early bird discount ends on August 1st.Rick Carlson is a Recovery Pastor, Life Coach, and Certified Husband Material Coach. Learn more at comebackcoaching.orgDr. Doug Carpenter is an author, clinical psychologist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. Learn more at douglascarpenter.comSupport the showTake the Husband Material Journey...Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTubeStep 2: Join the private Husband Material CommunityStep 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow PornStep 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!

What is psychodrama? How can it help men outgrow porn?  In this episode, Dr. Doug Carpenter explains why this powerful type of therapy creates profound healing experiences and accelerates freedom from porn.Picture this: you're on stage. You're the protagonist in your own drama, undoing and redoing the story of your life. But you're not alone. Your director is attuning to you. Your auxiliaries (other actors) are supporting you by playing the roles you need them to play. Your audience members are witnessing your process as they share in your healing. You find yourself saying things you've never said, feeling things you've never felt, and doing things you've never done. That's what psychodrama allows you to do.Dr. Doug introduces the basics of psychodrama as well as techniques like doubling, spiraling, role reversal, and using props. We talk about the need for creativity and spontaneity while staying sensitive to the Holy Spirit and the needs of each group member. We also marvel at the beauty of inviting Jesus into this process. At the end, you'll learn how we are incorporating psychodrama into Husband Material (both online and in-person) to help men heal and outgrow porn.For online psychodrama:Apply to join a Level 2 Husband Material Group (space is very limited)For in-person psychodrama:Register for the Husband Material Retreat in Santa Barbara! (September 8-12)Dr. Doug Carpenter is an author, clinical psychologist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. Learn more at douglascarpenter.comSupport the showTake the Husband Material Journey...Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTubeStep 2: Join the private Husband Material CommunityStep 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow PornStep 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!

Have you ever pretended to be fine when you're really not? In this episode, Stephen Thomas explains "I'm Fine Syndrome"—what it is, why we struggle with it, and how to crush it. You'll learn the importance of honoring your wants and needs...and the power of being authentic. Admitting you're not fine is an act of bravery and the first step towards true freedom.Stephen Thomas is a husband and father who has enjoyed freedom from porn and hookup culture for over 14 years. He is a Certified Husband Material Coach who provides coaching for individuals, couples, and groups. Stephen is passionate about seeing men who feel hopelessly buried by addictions come alive and realize the strength God has placed in them.Learn more at stephenthomasconsulting.comApply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/groupFacebook: facebook.com/stephenthomasconsultingEmail Stephen at stephen@stephenthomasconsulting.comText Stephen at 864-881-1749Support the showTake the Husband Material Journey...Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTubeStep 2: Join the private Husband Material CommunityStep 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow PornStep 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!

Dr. Michael Sytsma discusses the keys to enjoying sex in marriage, addressing differences in sexual desire and unlocking arousal. He emphasizes the importance of mindset, healthy habits, and deep emotional connections for a fulfilling relationship. The podcast explores the complexities of sexual intimacy, clear communication, and accepting your partner for who they are, focusing on building a deeper connection beyond physical satisfaction.

In this thought-provoking podcast, the hosts explore complex moral questions about masturbation, analyzing 10 unique situations. They discuss topics such as talking to children about masturbation, overcoming physical challenges in a marriage, and exploring different perspectives on the topic. They also touch on non-ejaculatory masturbation, strategies for stopping masturbation, and connecting with your inner child to eliminate unwanted sexual behavior.

What is masturbation? How does it affect the brain? What does the Bible (not) say about it? What will happen to me if I don't masturbate? In this episode, I'll share insights from neuroscience, the New Testament, and my own story of masturbation. I've been researching this topic for the past 13 years...so I have a lot to share! You'll learn why myelination matters (even in masturbation without fantasy). You'll hear how masturbation combined with pornography has increased widespread erectile dysfunction (including in my life). You'll find out what happens if you don't masturbate (hint: you'll be okay). You'll also learn the difference between lustful intent and simply noticing an attractive person (what purity culture didn't teach you). Most importantly, you'll ask better questions and develop a more mature perspective on masturbation!Come back next week for part 2 of this teaching.Resources referenced:Your Brain Off Porn - podcast episodeSupernormal Stimuli - educational comicHow Pornography Harms - book (paid link)Porn Withdrawal Survival Guide - free ebookBrain Heart World - free documentary seriesC.S. Lewis on Masturbation - excerpt from a letterBible verses referenced:Matthew 5:27-281 Thessalonians 4:3-6a1 Corinthians 6:12-20Support the showTake the Husband Material Journey...Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTubeStep 2: Join the private Husband Material CommunityStep 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow PornStep 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!

Growing up between worlds, third culture kids face unique challenges in developing their identity and sense of belonging. Can these experiences create a higher risk of struggling with pornography? John Kilmer reveals the impact of moving during crucial developmental stages, and how unprocessed grief and loss can lead to unwanted sexual behavior. Through John's story, we discover the burden AND the beauty of being a third culture man.John Kilmer is a Mental Health Life Coach, Occupational Therapist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. He's a grateful follower of Jesus Christ who is passionate about men's inner healing work.  As a child, John traveled the world as the son of missionaries.  These early experiences deeply shaped his worldview, fostering curiosity and adventure. John lives with his wife and children at Deerhaven Farm and Retreat in the rural hills of northeastern Washington.  He enjoys canoeing, photography, hiking, and leading men's healing groups, both at his property and online.Learn more about John at relaxedcaregiver.com.Book a discovery call with John here.Support the showTake the Husband Material Journey...Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTubeStep 2: Join the private Husband Material CommunityStep 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow PornStep 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material AcademyThanks for listening!