Make Some Noise with Andrea Owen

http://yourkickasslife.com/131 I’ve noticed something interesting over the last several years.As a blogger and online business owner, one of the things I do is look at my Google Analytics to see how people are finding my website and which posts are getting the most hits. And year after year, it’s the posts I write about relationships, more specifically posts about my breakups and the heartbreak they ensued.I’ve written about how to get over your ex, which has been shared more than 120,000 times (it’s probably much more, we installed the share tracking about a year after I wrote it). I’ve also had to turn off comments because of all the spam, people selling their love potions (not kidding. People selling poor heartbroken people love potions. There is a place in hell for those spammers). What’s obvious about the popularity of that topic is simply this: Most people in the world have had their heart broken by someone else and they have a really hard time healing.I don’t pretend to be the absolute expert at this, as I am still navigating it every day in my own life. But, I’m compelled to write about it today because I’ve been turning over and over the question in my head:Are we ever truly healed from heartbreak? And either way-- what does that even look like?At my ripe old age of 41 (which btw, I still consider myself young with A LOT to learn about life and love) I’m starting to think the answer to that question sometimes is no. And that’s okay.Let me explain. Here’s where I think the problem starts: I think we make up that we need to get over the people that have hurt us. And I’m not just talking about intimate relationships, I’m talking about parents, friends, anyone we’re close to that we’ve trusted and felt at some point or another has “broken our hearts”. We make up that we as humans, must get to a place in our hearts where we’re not hurt anymore. We don’t think about what happened, and if we do, we hold no sadness, anger, or hurt about it.I don’t know about you, but that seems awfully robotic and ….impossible.The problem worsens when we make up what it means when we’re not “over it”. We make up that we’re weak or broken, that we’re doing something wrong, that there’s something innately wrong with us, and we might keep obsessing on that person that hurt us.As humans, I think we want a definitive answer. Are we through it or not? Are we healed-- emphasis on the past tense?And my honest answer is I don’t know.I think we look for this place outside of us-- this place “over there” where we will be absent from all the difficult feelings around it. It’s completely subjective what this looks like but I think so many people spend the better part of their lives searching for this.Read the rest HERE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/R6Ass kickers!Welcome BACK to the recovery series! Thank you for your patience as I had to put the project on hold for a couple of months, but I am so excited to share episode six with you. Jean McCarthy of the Unpickled Blog is with us.Jean McCarthy thought she had it all figured out: go 100 miles an hour all day as a mom and business owner, then drink wine before bed to quickly de-stress and fall asleep. She had no idea that this perfect equilrium would evolve into addiction over the course of a decade. Now five years sober, Jean writes about her experiences as a person in recovery at unpickledblog.com and holds space for others to share their stories on The Bubble Hour podcast. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/130Welcome to episode 130 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast! Trauma and trauma resolution are two issues we’ve touched on before but today we spend an entire show on it. Our guest, Rachael Maddox, is an expert on both.Rachael is a trauma resolution educator, coach and guide who helps women heal and understand sexual traumas they’ve experienced so they can move through the world with joy and success. Rachael’s coaching certification was earned from The Coaches Training Institute, and she is certified in trauma resolution through The Alchemical Alignment.On this show, we dive into her very personal, firsthand experiences with trauma, how somatic therapy helped her heal when nothing else worked, and how that therapy ultimately led to what she does today.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/129Hey Ass kickers!Welcome to episode 129 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast! I’m thrilled to bring you this archived episode with life coach, master communicator and my very best friend, Amy E. Smith. Amy hosts a podcast called The Joy Junkie with her hubs, Mr. Smith. On the podcast and in her business Amy helps people find their voice, and stand up for themselves (without being a dick). I brought her on the show to talk about self-love: what it is and how to practice it no matter who you are or where you are in your life. We get into the common misconceptions and pitfalls about self-love, why loving yourself actually helps you change your life and why choosing self-love is a daily practice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

www.yourkickasslife.com/128Welcome to episode 128 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast! Today I’ve got another amazing guest for you, Susan Anderson. Susan is considered the founder of the Abandonment Recovery movement, and is a dedicated psychotherapist who has spent over 30 years helping those who struggle with abandonment trauma, grief, and loss. Naturally on this episode we discuss abandonment, and also how she came to write the book The Abandonment Recovery Workbook. She shares the neuroscience behind the deep wounds abandonment imprints on us, and we both share our personal abandonment experiences. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/127 Welcome to episode 127 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast! Today I’ve got yet another special guest to share with you, Jenny Blake. Jenny is an internationally-known author, speaker and career and business strategist. She’s also a fellow podcaster and has been my friend for nearly a decade. On this episode, Jenny and I are talking about her latest book Pivot: The Only Move That Matters Is Your Next One, what pivots are and are not, and how she has learned so much from navigating pivot points in her own life. You’ll Also Hear: ● What inspired her to write this book? ● What are the four stages of a pivot? ● The three things to test when you are in pilot mode. ● Does your life contain the clues you need to discover your next pivot? ● Does all change involve loss? ● How to trust your emotional process when pivoting. ● What has she learned from meditation? ● Why she calls 2013 her apocalypse year, and what it taught her. ● Why Jenny believes our challenges are chosen for us. ● And much more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/126As the year comes to an end, I love thinking about not only my accomplishments, but what I’ve learned. And this year I’ve made a list of the lessons I know to be true off the top of my head, 38 to be exact.There are loads more, but here’s a start: Cleaning up my own messes is the best way to sleep at night. This means apologizing when I’ve been an asshole and just generally doing my best to fix things I’ve made a mess of. Taking radical responsibility for my life is the only option. No one else is responsible for my happiness. No one. My children don’t define me. I used to think becoming a mother would be my ultimate life purpose. It isn’t. I used to have a lot of guilt and shame about that. But, I don’t anymore. No relationship will complete me. Not a single one. My vagina looks the way it does, and I’m okay with that, I even love it. That also goes for my boobs, tummy, and every other body part I used to hate. I’m done listening to people that tell me I need to look different. “Taking the edge off” really needed to be examined. For me, I was taking off all the edges. And sometimes edges just need to be dealt with. Exercise really is the best medicine. The voice in my head that tells me I’m not enough is a liar. Progress, not perfection. “Let it go” is 99% of the time, the best way to solve a problem. “No” is a complete sentence. If I listen, my body is usually trying to tell me something. I only apologize when I really, truly can stand behind it. There will always be people that don’t like me and it’s not my job to change their minds. (I admit this one is still tough. It’s a one-day-at-a-time lesson.) My parents did the best they could, with what they had at that time. And as parents, that’s all we can do. Forgiveness is more about me, and not them. Time really doesn’t heal all wounds—I’m in charge of that. Time helps, but being proactive is the catalyst. All wisdom is created from healed pain. Trying to control everything is my one-way ticket on the crazy train. Sometimes I forget this and get on board. The comparison trap is basically made-up stories of what I think someone else’s life is like. We’re all scared. We all have fear. The people that say they are fearless are just pretending. None of us get out of this alive. And in the end, I want to be proud how I lived it. If we all worked on our insides as much as we worked on our outsides, the world would change for the better. You end up with what you put up with. Examine it and change what you don’t like. At your funeral, no one will talk about your failures. So, keep failinguntil you get it right. At that same funeral, no one will talk about how your body looked. Your heart and spirit matter more. You really do catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. In other words, don’t be a dick. Uncomfortable conversations are always hard. However, that elephant in the room isn’t going anywhere (and takes up a lot of space)—so you might as well call it out. Most people really are too busy thinking about themselves to be obsessing about you like you think they are. It’s usually never, ever as big a deal as we think it is. Ever. That person that treats you like shit is a giant invitation to not be around that person ever. If you spend time nosing in other people’s business, there’s probably something important in your life you’re purposely avoiding dealing with. God always has your back. Kindness really always does win. Love is always the answer. Having an open mind can many times blow your mind. None of us are broken or need fixing. Improvement, yes. Whatever you think you are, will be your truth. And you are completely in charge of that, babe. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/125This is a re-broadcast with Sally Hope, one of my favorite podcast guests. As many of you know my father passed away last month and I’m taking a break for a few weeks and re-airing archived episodes. I thank you for your patience during this time. Next week is a brand new episode!Another amazing edition of the YKAL podcast is upon us! I’m here with Sally Hope, founder of The Wildheart Revolution. I love Sally’s take on life and I’m sure you will too. In this episode we talk about several different important topics... In a recent blog post Sally talks about trying to please everyone and how to stop doing this. We discuss the gist of her post, how we’ve both learned to do our best of NOT caring so much if other people like us. Next we talk about LIFE PURPOSE and how to actually take the pressure off ourselves in our quest to finding it. (Because in actuality that pressure is keeping you from finding it!) Sally’s message screams to not apologize for who you are.We discuss that being your biggest self might mean having to leave some people behind and how to go about dealing with that.  One of Sally’s big things is going on adventures! I ask her where would someone start that doesn’t have a ton of time or money? This conversation segues into talking about friends (aka your tribe) and how to create that in your life. Sally has NEW ideas for you!  I’m just certain you’ll love Sally Hope as much as I do! She’s such a great inspiration full of love and authenticity. And get ready for next week for an all new episode! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/124Hey Ass kickers! Welcome to another episode of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast! My friend Randi joins us to talk about the all-important topic of boundaries and how nice people set ‘em. Randi is THE expert of experts! She’s a life coach, hard truth-talker and creative producer of products that encourage women to step into their truth, and transform their inner and interpersonal struggles. Trust me, I KNOW boundaries are difficult and we ALL struggle with them-- whether it’s family members, co-workers, or our neighbors, we could all use some help in this area, right? On today’s show she shares with us how creating our own container of what we want in our lives sets our boundaries, what gardens have to do with boundaries and ultimately why we struggle with boundaries so much. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/123 Hi Ass kickers,As you’ll hear in this week's podcast episodes, my father died on last Sunday. Over the next several weeks, you’ll get some re-broadcasts of my favorite episodes. I’ve also decided to put the recovery series on hold until January. Thank you for your patience and understanding during this time.********************************************************************I’m so glad you’re here for another episode of Your Kick-Ass Life. Today we’ve got the fabulous Christina Dunbar. Christina is an actress, poet, activist and women’s leader. She offers programs for artists, entrepreneurs and wild women helping them take the stage and share their own soul story. She’s also the inspiration and creator behind her one-woman show, Dirty Me Divine.On this episode we dive into that experience fully as well as what it means to take a stand, and why that is often difficult for women, and what steps we can take to express our unique voices. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices