Make Some Noise with Andrea Owen

This week I welcome Lauren Handel Zander to the YKAL podcast. Lauren is the author of, Maybe It’s You: Cut the Crap, Face Your Fears, Love Your Life. She is also a life coach, university lecturer and co-founder of Handel Group. She joins me to talk about the everyday shit that we do that takes us farther away from the person we want to be and the person we were meant to be.We had an amazing conversation about her journey to becoming a life coach, what personal integrity means to her and her work, qualifying yes versus no, and the epidemic of lying.In this episode you’ll hear: Lauren’s path to becoming a life coach (7 minutes and 30 seconds) What is personal integrity and how she uses it to help people achieve their goals (13:51) One trick to keep you accountable when it comes to doing the work (20:17) Boundaries: Why people say, “Yes,” when they mean, “No,” and how to empower ourselves to say, “No”, when we really mean it (26:35) How to develop the awareness to stop the cycle of numbing out and isolating (35:12) The seven ways we lie, cleaning up your lies and telling the truth and how doing so can truly jumpstart your happiness (38:17) 💥 REGISTRATION IS OPEN FOR THE NEW AND IMPROVED DARING WAY™ PROGRAM AND RETREAT! (Shouty caps on purpose!). LET’S CHAT ABOUT IT! Head on over here to check it out! 💥 http://yourkickasslife.com/255  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week my dear friend Kate Anthony is back on the podcast. If you are new to the show, I’ve started a new series where I’ve been talking with close friends about shit that matters. During these candid conversations, we take a big topic where we are not experts and unpack our own stuff around it and begin to make sense of it all. In this episode, Kate and I continue our conversation on rape culture and sexual assault. I highly encourage you to listen to part one of our conversation, if you haven’t done so already. The reason I wanted to create two episodes on this topic is to shed light on stories of non-consensual sex, rape, and assault. If you feel your story is not important enough, something I believed of my own story for a long time, know that your story is important. All of our stories are important and everybody’s story matters. That’s my why. And, trigger warning: Kate and I share our own experiences with non-consensual sex in this episode.In this episode you’ll also hear: The moment Kate realized her sexual assault was rape (10 minutes and 1 second) Saying yes out of fear and coerced consent (19:03) I retell the story of when, at 17, my boyfriend videotaped us without my knowledge and I lost my shit (24:28) And then, I share my own story of date rape (27:53) The untrue stories we make up about the kind of men that assault women, like, “Only scary looking men or strangers in an alley assault women.” (45:50) Kate shares a story about a man asking for consent (46:31) 💥🎉FREE LIVE TRAINING! 💥🎉Okay, y’all-- there are two topics I’ve seen come up over the last few months during my retreats and programs. One is trusting women-- why do we have such a hard time with this and how do we overcome it?The other is the concept of feeling “good enough”. Do we just decide this and wait for it? Is it a mindset issue? Or something else?Join me on Friday, November 9th at 12:30 eastern time where I’ll break down these two topics and give you some tangible steps to take to make this happen in your life. As you know from my book HTSFLS, both of these topics are IMPERATIVE for you to stop feeling like shit and start living your kick-ass life. See you there! (And yes, a replay will be available)No need to sign up for anything, just mark your calendar, and put THIS LINK in there. Then, on 11/9 at 12:30 eastern, click the link and join us! 😘😘😘http://yourkickasslife.com/254  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey ass kickers! I am bringing you another episode of Conversations About Shit That Matters with Unqualified People. My “unqualified person” this week is my friend Kate Anthony, who helped me kick off this series several months ago. For newcomers, here’s a brief introduction to Kate: Kate Anthony is a certified life coach who specializes in helping moms decide whether they should stay in or leave their marriages. This week, Kate and I are talking about rape culture. Kate is truly kick-ass, one of my dearest friends, and someone I feel totally comfortable with unpacking this sensitive topic. And, rape culture is a lot to unpack.As a reminder, before we get started, this is not an episode where I am teaching about rape culture. It’s an honest conversation between two unqualified people, emphasis on unqualified, about a very important and hard topic. We cover a lot, including what rape culture looks like, how we all participate in it, and some ways to start conversations with people about it.In this episode you’ll hear: Identifying rape culture and Kate’s experience with being slut-shamed in high school  Defining toxic masculinity  Our thoughts on Brett Kavanaugh and what he could have done to make the situation different Rape culture, protecting the internal patriarchy, and denial of sexual assault  How to start to have deeper conversations with others and take steps towards change  Bringing men into the conversation about rape culture and toxic masculinity Kate’s experience with today’s dating scene and why she has decided to take a step back from it  💥🎉FREE LIVE TRAINING! 💥🎉Okay, y’all-- there are two topics I’ve seen come up over the last few months during my retreats and programs. One is trusting women-- why do we have such a hard time with this and how do we overcome it?The other is the concept of feeling “good enough”. Do we just decide this and wait for it? Is it a mindset issue? Or something else?Join me on Friday, November 9th at 12:30 eastern time where I’ll break down these two topics and give you some tangible steps to take to make this happen in your life. As you know from my book HTSFLS, both of these topics are IMPERATIVE for you to stop feeling like shit and start living your kick-ass life. See you there! (And yes, a replay will be available)No need to sign up for anything, just mark your calendar, and put THIS LINK in there. Then, on 11/9 at 12:30 eastern, click the link and join us! 😘😘😘 http://yourkickasslife.com/253  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

With recent events that are happening in the news in the U.S. surrounding the U.S. Supreme court nomination of Brent Kavanaugh and Dr. Christine Blasey Ford coming forward with her story of sexual assault, I knew I needed to have a podcast on the topic of sexual trauma. While I do plan on having an episode where I speak with a friend on the topic of sexual assault, I knew how very important it was to have an expert on to discuss this topic, as well. Because, y’all, I am not an expert in this area, but as many of you know, finding an expert in a given field is something I take very seriously.And that is why I am honored and grateful to be welcoming back to the show, Licensed Marriage and Family and Therapist, Rebecca Bass-Ching. Rebecca is also a Certified EMDR Therapist+Consultant, Trauma Therapist and a Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator. Today you’ll hear us speak on the topic of sexual trauma, including: feeling triggered by sexual assault stories in the news, navigating the differencing of opinions to sexual assault, healing and processing from sexual trauma and the all important fact that there is no time limit on healing.Trigger warning: while we go into mostly surface level conversation related to sexual trauma and assault, it’s still a very tender topic. In fact, I let Rebecca really take the reigns in this episode because, as you’ll hear, I am still unpacking and navigating my own feelings too. In this episode you’ll hear: Some reasons why we may be feeling triggered, angered or on edge related to current events about sexual trauma or assault (8 minutes and 29 seconds) How to navigate feedback from people who have different opinions or reactions to sexual assault (14:02) Handling the question and red herring argument, “What if your son was falsely accused of sexual assault?” (21:21) Your memory network and trauma: remembering portions of trauma so very clearly (32:30) Healing from trauma is very inconvenient, plus we touch on residual trauma (34:35) The deep connection between sexism and racism (38:47) http://yourkickasslife.com/252  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week on the podcast Shanna Lee joins me. She is founder of the platform The Soul Frequency and author of the book of the same name. And, guess what? I’m holding a contest this week over on Patreon. One winner will receive a copy of Shanna’s book, Soul Frequency: Your Healthy, Awakened and Authentic Life. If you haven’t joined the Patreon Party yet, which is in full swing, you still can. Head over to Patreon to participate in this contest or to become a Patron, here. I know of Shanna because I was a guest on her podcast several months ago. Her message is very similar to the one I share with you here at YKAL. Once I learned she was about to release a book, I knew I wanted to have her on my show. Today, we talk about some of the concepts she covers in her book, including how to align yourself with the life you want to be living. Plus, we talk about suppressed anger as a woman and how to open the door to it, being open to bad experiences and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.In this episode you’ll hear: What The Soul Frequency actually means (9 minutes and 42 seconds) Shanna’s journey, and her own lesson of just showing up and being fully present (12:41) Walking your path, getting back into alignment with what feels good (15:48) Shanna’s anatomy of transformation and its four pillars: truth, release, experience, and align (19:02) Women’s anger and rage: your relationship around anger, how it's socially unacceptable, and ways to open the door to anger. (26:27) Being open to the bad that may be happening around you instead of shutting the door on it. (37:36) http://yourkickasslife.com/251  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I have a rich and amazing conversation with Rachel Foy for you this week on the YKAL Podcast. Rachel is an author, motivational teacher and the founder of the Soul Fed Woman. Rachel helps women overcome things like emotional eating, binge eating, and weight obsession. She helps them wake up and reclaim their lives so they are no longer missing from it. I am excited to bring you this topic today. But first, one quick note before we get started.At the start of this episode, I briefly share that I am gathering my thoughts on sexual assault all while trying to hold back my rage. I plan to talk about this tender topic in a future episode of Conversations About Shit that Matters with Unqualified People. Current events in our country, the #whyIdidntreport movement and the trauma many women have had to face, again, either due to reliving their own experiences or empathizing with that of another woman, is just too much. More on this topic will be coming soon. Okay, now back to today’s episode.Today, Rachel and I talk about emotional eating and bringing awareness to your coping mechanisms. We also touch on the topics of body acceptance and fat-phobia. Plus, we talk about numbing out, making empowering choices, and some ways to overcome many issues women experience around food, diet culture and emotions.In this episode you’ll hear: What to do when you start feeding your feelings with food (8 minutes and 50 seconds) Rachel’s own difficult journey with food obsession, eating disorders and dieting (10:32) Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD): what it is and how it can show up (15:15) Fat-phobic culture, preconceived perceptions, and breaking away from diet culture: stripping down fat-phobia (20:00) How to be emotionally fed and become a soulfed women (21:45) What to do if food is your only source of pleasure (26:17) Why we choose to numb out and some ways how to overcome it (34:05) http://yourkickasslife.com/250  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Joining me on the podcast this week is leading Latina psychotherapist, Christine Gutierrez, LHMC. Christine is the founder of Christineg.tv, an online hub that features psychologically-savvy and soulful advice. Christine also specializes in love addiction which happens to be the topic of today’s episode.In this episode, we talked about healing from love addiction, Christine’s own experience with it and how she now helps clients move through the healing process. We also touched on codependency and love addiction red flags. It’s clear through my conversation with Christine that she has worked hard and tirelessly on learning how to trust in herself and lean into her biggest self. I’m happy to share our conversation with you.In this episode you’ll hear: What love addiction is, how Christine’s early childhood experiences ultimately led to love addiction, and how she got on the path to healing (1 minute 47 seconds) The distinction between healthy, falling in love and love addiction (5:46) Some tips and tools for women struggling with love addiction (11:21) Christine’s journey to helping other women heal, the merging of the mundane and divine and what the word diosa means to her (17:43) How to experience more fierce love in your life (and what fierce love is, exactly) (25:32) http://yourkickasslife.com/249  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today I have an episode for you that was a suggested topic from one of our awesome listeners on Patreon. Patron members can suggest show topics, as well as get their personal questions answered on Listener Q & A episodes, and so many more perks! Head on over HERE to read more about how you can become a member. Corrina asks:I would love to hear about how to tell the difference between the internal voice that is authentic and courageous versus the voice that is fearful and holding you back or is reactionary. For example, are you leaving a situation because it's good for you or are you in flight mode?I also wrote a blog post about this AGES ago (2011 omg) so I’ve dug it up, updated it and am putting it back out there.First and foremost, this is one tricky mother. To be honest, it’s still something I sometimes am challenged by in my own life, and when I am, I talk it out with a trusted friend. Sometimes processing externally can be helpful for you to be able to decipher. Journaling can also be helpful to process more internally.Second, I do believe there are going to be times where you just don’t know for sure if it’s your intuition speaking or your inner-critic/fear. In those instances, you’ll need to just make a decision and see what happens. I can say that the more you intentionally work on paying attention to your intuition (practices like meditation, stillness, being in nature, journaling, yoga) the more in tune you’ll be with it, and the more clear it will become.In no particular order, here are some ways to decipher if it’s your inner-critic/fear/gremlin or your intuition/soul voice speaking to you: Your inner-critic doesn’t like change; but if it’s good for you, your intuition will encourage it. Gremlins like to keep you exactly where you are, even if you’re not in a great place. For instance, if you hate your job it seems like a no-brainer that you would want to leave, right? So, you daydream about your dream job, doing that thing you’ve always wanted. Your gremlin pops up and says, “There’s no way. What if it doesn’t work? It’s too risky anyway.” You listen to your inner-critic and the days drag on in the grips of this sucky job.Your intuition is the voice and vision that is steering your daydreams. Your intuition is the voice of your soul and that voice wants you to be happy or else it wouldn’t give you all these dreams! Trusting your dreams is trusting your intuition. Practice adding on to these daydreams visions of you actually bridging the gap between where you are now and where you want to be. What steps are necessary for you to leave that sucky job and get your dream job? Scary, yes, your gremlin will tell you so. Notice it, keep dreaming, and taking action.Your gremlin voices come from your head, but your intuitional voice come from your heart. In my opinion, most of us live 99% of the time in our heads (especially if you are a part of my community, you smart, go-getting woman,you!). It takes practice and slowing down (what’s that?) to listen to our hearts. Often times I ask clients a big, pondering question during a coaching session and they respond quickly, without any hesitation, but that answer surprises them, or they backpedal. For instance, say I asked you if you could do anything for the next month, what would it be? And you responded with, “I’d get on a plane, go to an animal sanctuary that I follow on Instagram and volunteer there. But, there’s no way I could actually do that!” I know immediately that the initial answer came from their heart and the excuse came from their head. I respond with, “What if you answered that question just from your heart instead of your head?” and always they respond with something to the effect of, “Huh….let me sit with that for a minute.”Read the rest of the article HERE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode officially kicks off a series I’m calling Conversations About Shit That Matters with Unqualified People. Today, my friend Elizabeth DiAlto and I are talking about doing the work in terms of racism, white supremacy, and more.You might wonder what this has to do with personal development? Well, the deeper I get into my own personal development work and even trainings, the more I can see that the root of the problems many of us face (feeling not good enough, lack of confidence, etc.) is rooted in white supremacy and patriarchy. And trust me when I tell you there was a time many years ago when I would have disagreed with that. However, back then I hadn’t done enough work, nor (although largely unconscious at the time) had I wanted to admit that a system that I largely benefitted from could be the problem.One of the heavy topics I am passionate about dismantling is rape culture. The system that normalizes and trivializes the sexual assault and harassment of women. The idea that women’s bodies are disposable and that sexual violence is normal. A couple of years ago I realized that there is a direct connection from rape culture to both patriarchy and white supremacy, and so began my work over here on my own, so I can better educate. This episode is the very beginning of that.Also, as I mention in this episode, I have two solo episodes coming up in the next few months about core beliefs and inner critic that were suggested by Patreon members. I’ve decided to let go of advertising and sponsorships on the podcast, but in order to still be able to support the costs of the show, I’ve introduced ways for listeners to do that. When you become a Patron, there are perks! Including being able to suggest show topics, getting your personal development questions answered on Listener Q & A episodes, monthly Ask Me Anything calls, book giveaways and more (Last AMA call I answered a question from one of our patrons who had a question about an uncomfortable situation with her friends that she wanted my advice about. The month before that, someone asked about starting her own coaching business. I’ll answer virtually ANY question you have on those particular calls)! Head on over HERE to check out the different tiers and I thank you for supporting the show! Back to today’s episode! Although this isn’t a teaching/expert interview episode, Elizabeth and I explore some important topics, including: To be a true ally, you must perform acts of solidarity (15 minutes and 48 seconds) Unpacking white supremacy and white privilege: the power of group. community, safe processing buddies, and collective intelligence (24:04) Shaming and tone policing in social media (25:54) An important distinction between shaming and holding people accountable; and fragility (30:27) Being of mixed race, whitewashing cultures, and being ethnically ambiguous (40:05) Dropping unconscious biases and exploring assumptions about health and overweight people (48:10) http://yourkickasslife.com/247  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week I have the pleasure of introducing you all to the brilliant and kind, Dr. John Duffy. Dr. Duffy is the author of the number-one best-selling book, The Available Parent. He is a nationally-recognized expert in self-awareness, relationships, and parenting. He is also the host of the podcast, Undue Anxiety. I met Dr. Duffy while on my book tour for, How To Stop Feeling Like Shit. Following our conversation (I was a guest on his podcast), I knew I wanted to have Dr. John on my show to talk about the very tender topic of depression, because it’s his speciality. Whether you are battling depression or you know someone who is, today’s topic is one that touches so many lives.Today we talk all about depression, how it shows up, why it’s not your job to fix a loved one’s depression and some ways you can support them. Plus, we touch on boundaries as it relates to depression and what to do if you are a parent of a child who may be struggling with some form of mental illness or depression.In this episode you’ll hear: How depression might show up in people’s lives and what it may look like  Some ways you can support someone who is struggling with depression  Therapies, tools, medications, and treatments for depression, today, as opposed to 25 years ago, really do work The U.S. is seeing an increase in suicide rates more than other countries: Dr. Duffy shares why he thinks this may be and why excessive stimuli could be part of the reason  Changing gender dynamics, gender biases, and marketing: how they play into an increase in alcohol consumption and addiction by women  What to do when you suspect your child is struggling with depression or another form of mental illness http://yourkickasslife.com/246  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices