Make Some Noise with Andrea Owen

It’s my birthday! And I have some words of wisdom.  I racked my brain with what to share on this week’s minisode, and decided to bring you what’s on my mind as I take another trip around the sun. In this minisode you’ll hear:  What I keep telling myself when I find that I’m judging others, or even myself.  My thoughts on aging in general.  An update on the process of growing out my grey hair (did I change my mind?!) http://andreaowen.com/443  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week I am talking about emotional regulation with Eliah Prichard. This was such an insightful conversation around boundary setting and more. Eliah is an educator, coach, and founder of The Rebound Way. We also talk about emotional empowerment, how to speak your truth, and regulate emotions rather than mirror those around you.Eliah helps people who are ready to feel epic in their bodies and confident in expressing their unique identity. Her hope is to equip people with the tools they need to adapt effectively to change in their lives. We talk about:  Self-abandonment as a behavior: how it manifests and what it looks like (5:44) The best place to start with boundary setting is learning how to regulate your emotions (12:33) Eliah shares an experience from childhood where embarrassment trumped physical pain (19:10) Using feelings an indicator for growth and change (22:31) What to do if you break down or get emotional during a boundary-setting conversation (16:01) “When you learn to be with your own emotions and have self-compassion for yourself, you are so much better being there for other people.” -Andrea (43:05) “All you have control over is showing up. You can create the safety you crave and bring that to your relationships.” Eliah Prichard http://andreaowen.com/442 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week’s guest, Christine Gibson caught my attention on TikTok. In several of her videos, she talks about two types of therapy, top-down and bottom-up therapy. In this episode, she joins me to talk about therapeutic modalities, like EFT, for healing trauma. We also explore the powerful ways our body responds in connection with our nervous system to trauma.Christine is a family doctor and trauma therapist in Calgary, Canada. She has studied systems thinking, the use of storytelling towards healing, and created a residency training program in health equity.We talk about: Christine shares how the EFT modality can help with healing trauma. (5:59) The 2 types of trauma therapy: top-down (talk-based work) and bottom-up (body-based work). (9:00) Christine explains the Polyvagal Theory and how the different parts of the nervous system respond to stress. (18:31) We explore just how deeply the body and the brain are connected. (31:54) If someone is certain they have experienced trauma, Christine offers some thoughts on how to start healing. (39:21) Feeling heard and being seen is one of the goals of therapy. Validation of your feelings is what helps you heal. (51:48) http://andreaowen.com/441  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Recently I received an email from a woman, let’s call her Jennifer, who’d read How To Stop Feeling Like Shit and had a question; specifically about how to know when it’s your inner-critic speaking about a new endeavor, or when it’s actually factual. Here’s her question: So, how do you know if it’s just you berating yourself or the possibility that you’re just not good enough? I mean, in reality, we have things that we are not meant to do no matter how much effort we put in. So how do we know? When will we know? I am originally from the theatre industry. The pandemic gave me the chance to try out new things besides acting. So now, I’m in the marketing field, totally different from what I usually do, and trying my best to work my way up. There are doubts and failures along the way. So how do I know that they are just doubts and negative thoughts or that I’m just not fit for the job? How do I know when to give up? When to accept the fact that this isn’t for me? How do I know that something is just a fact and not a negative thought?This is such a great question, one that I’ve struggled with myself and I’m sure many of you have as well. In this minisode, I’ll cover:  Seth Godin’s book, The Dip: A little book that teaches you when to quit (and when to stick). Seth has a great metaphor of a Dip and a cul-de-sac and explains what each is and how that can help you decide when to quit or stick it out.  A plethora of questions to ask yourself to get curious about your situation to hopefully get yourself to an answer.  The one question I ask myself whenever I want something big, and am not sure if I want to stick it out or not (it’s the question that led me to not continuing my college education to go to medical school).  http://andreaowen.com/440  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We have talked about EMDR on the show previously as a treatment for trauma. This week, Vanessa Pezo joins me to discuss how EMDR can be used for the treatment of other types of distress like performance anxiety or even common fears, like the fear of flying. We also discuss narrative exposure therapy, creativity as a tool for healing, and the complexity of trauma therapy for crime victims.  Vanessa Pezo, LCSW (she/her) is a licensed therapist and trauma specialist based in Long Beach, CA. In her private practice, Vanessa specializes in serving diverse survivors of complex trauma using EMDR, cognitive behavioral therapy, narrative exposure therapy, and somatic techniques to help survivors of trauma find healing and recovery. We talk about: How EMDR can help with the treatment of other types of distress. (5:59) Narrative exposure therapy (NET): what it is and how it helps. (15:25) NET often uses writing as a way to reflect on past experiences. Vanessa speaks about using creativity as a tool for healing. (19:31) On Vanessa’s website she writes “After a trauma, we can sometimes fall into unhelpful patterns of thinking that change the way we view ourselves, others, and the world.” She explains what she means by that. (25:01) One modality isn’t going to work for everyone. (31:47) Trauma therapy for crime victims: navigating trauma while also navigating the criminal justice system can be a complex and long journey. (32:53) http://andreaowen.com/439  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week I am talking to Bethany Webster about the mother wound. Bethany says, “When we are children and our mothers harm us, they are to blame. They are adults and are responsible for us. But as we grow up and turn into adults, it then becomes our responsibility to do the healing within ourselves. If you can walk the path of healing the mother wound and inner mothering, the rewards are so rich.” Bethany is a writer, international speaker, and transformational coach. She started blogging in 2013 about the Mother Wound and quickly experienced worldwide demand for her work. Through blending research on intergenerational trauma, feminist theory, and psychology with her own personal story, Bethany's work is the result of decades of research and her own journey of healing.If you have a great relationship with your mother, don’t turn this episode off! Even if you have or had a good relationship with her, we can still struggle with some mother-wounding. Tune into this episode to hear about what the mother wound is and how to begin to heal from it. We talk about:  Bethany explains what the mother wound is and where it comes from. (5:06) Healing the four layers of the mother wound. (7:25) The cost of avoiding the mother wound and what prevents women from healing it. (13:47) How to heal the mother wound without mother-blaming. (20:14) What to do if/when your mother responds with “Oh, so it’s always my fault?” (36:53) Bethany’s experience with estrangement from her mother. (39:24) http://andreaowen.com/438  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s minisode revolves around codependency. Many years ago, when I was in my 20s and in a difficult relationship, my therapist told me I was codependent. I read Melody Beattie’s Codependent No More and saw so much of myself in it. I highlighted all the symptoms and to be honest, at the time, I wasn’t totally clear on what I had to do to solve the problem. In this minisode, I’ll talk about:  Some common symptoms of codependency, as well as how it looked in my life when I was deep in it.  A quote from my friend and therapist Britt Frank about why she’s not a fan of the current narrative that surrounds codependency  What I wish I would have learned early on that would have helped me get better help  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Britt Frank is back on the show! Britt Frank, MSW, LSCSW, SEP is a trauma therapist, teacher, and speaker who specializes in the "Science of Stuck." She is one of my favorite therapists who offers another perspective on personal development.  In this episode we discuss what Britt believes to be some of the inaccurate information the mental health and wellness world teaches us and how that information impacts our personal development journey. Britt’s goal is to educate, empower, and equip people to transform even their most persistent and long-standing patterns of thinking and doing. You’re going to love this conversation, I have no doubt. You’ll hear:  The parts of us that people typically hate are the parts that are trying to protect us. (7:17) Why Britt says, “Depression is debilitating but it is NOT a chemical imbalance.” (11:38) Why addiction is NOT a disease. (15:35) We need to understand behavior function in order to get to behavior change. (19:29) If we could change our inner monologue to an inner dialogue we can calm the nervous system down. (23:19) Anxiety is as necessary to your health as the check-engine light is to your car. (29:49) If a medication or modality isn’t working for you, you’re not broken. Healing is complex. (39:27) Therapy is not about blaming your parents, it’s about becoming a parent to yourself. (43:21) Trauma is not always about the things that happened to you. It is also about the things that didn’t happen to you, but should have. (44:20) http://andreaowen.com/436  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I love learning about different trauma therapies and giving you options to find specialists who can help you heal. TikTok is rife with mental health professionals giving sound advice. I first came to know this week’s guest, Simone Saunders, when I saw her Tiktok video about a symptom of trauma: a sense of a foreshortened future. Simone is a mental health and wellness-based content creator and licensed therapist. She is known for creating content that breaks down psychoeducational topics into digestible pieces, normalizing mental health issues, and giving an inside look at the therapy process.Together, Simone and I have a conversation about Accelerated Resolution Therapy, understanding internal family systems, and unpacking the various symptoms of trauma and failed attachment in childhood. You’ll hear: Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) and how it helps reprogram the way in which traumatic memories and images are stored in the brain so that they no longer trigger strong physical and emotional reactions. (6:04) How Internal Family Systems (IFS) to help individuals to heal. Simone shares some of the common categories of parts firefighters, managers, and exiles, as well. (10:00) A symptom of trauma that is not talked about enough is a sense of a foreshortened future. Simone explains what it is and how it shows up. (23:30) Hyper-Independence and its relation to attachment. (25:30) How to talk to your family about your mental health journey and experience with therapy. (31:15) Simone answers, “Is therapy a life-long journey and should you take therapy breaks?” (40:38) http://andreaowen.com/435  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Giselle Owen, mascot of the podcast, lover of her Dirty Baby and popcorn, my right-hand girl, my soul dog passed away peacefully in my arms on Wednesday, February 16th. Part of this episode is a tribute to her. I open the podcast with a little follow up to episode 432– the episode on humiliation with Amy Smith. I had the biggest vulnerability hangover after airing that show, I couldn’t believe I released an episode that had me break down in tears for y’all to hear. However, that was my fear talking, saying I should pull the episode, and I could see that pretty quickly. In this minisode I give you my thoughts on that. Lastly, I talk about dogs, a quick history on how we got Giselle, and the epiphany I had the day after she died about one of the reasons people love dogs so much. Thank you for listening, and thank you to those of you who have watched Giselle over the years on my Instagram stories and who even knew her toys names! She was such a good dog, and I am in the throes of grief without her. If you would have met her, she would have LOVED you. She loved people, a lot more than she cared about other dogs. And to anyone who’s lost a pet they loved dearly, I see you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices