Sex and Psychology Podcast

There is a huge industry built around making women feel insecure about their genitals in order to sell them so-called “feminine hygiene products.” They’ve convinced many women that their vaginas and vulvas are “dirty” and in need of constant cleaning. But is it even healthy to use these products? And what do you really need to know when it comes to maintaining vaginal health? I spoke with a gynecologist to find out–and to bust some common myths about vaginas and vulvas. My guest today is Dr. Jennifer Lincoln, a board-certified OB-GYN and author of the book, Let’s Talk About Down There: An OBGYN Answers All Your Burning Questions Without Making You Feel Embarrassed for Asking. Jennifer also runs a popular sex ed channel on TikTok (@drjenniferlincoln) with more than two million followers. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: Where does this idea that vaginas and vulvas are “dirty” come from anyway? What should and shouldn’t be part of a vaginal and vulvar self-care routine? What should you do if you’re concerned about the smell or taste of your genitals? What’s the safest way to remove pubic hair to avoid risk of injury and infection? Can a doctor actually tell if a woman has had sex by inspecting her genitals? Do vaginas really become “looser” with frequent sex? Is it really true that if you have an STI, you’ll know it? How do you boost low sexual desire? Check it out! And be sure to check out Jennifer’s book Let’s Talk About Down There and follow her on TikTok. The Kinsey Institute’s (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate. Level-up your intimate life with Beducated, the Netflix of better sex! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Enjoy a free trial today and get 70% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2215-lehmiller This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Jonathan Raz (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

We’re going back to the brothel in today’s episode! This is the second part of a two-part series of interviews I conducted in a sex club in Amsterdam during a recent study abroad course I taught for sex therapists. We invited several folks who work in the sex industry to come speak with us in small groups, and it was absolutely fascinating! In this episode, you’ll be hearing from a Dutch sex educator (Anna Jansen) who teaches teachers how to talk about sex, as well as a social worker (Renée Brouwer) who works with victims of human trafficking in the sex work industry. Some of the topics we’ll explore include: The distinction between sex work and sex trafficking. Why so much sex work in the Netherlands occurs underground outside of the legal system. How sex trafficking can still occur even with a legalized, government-regulated system. Legal changes that could make sex work safer. What sex education looks like in the Netherlands. How to make sex education work for everyone. Why attitudes toward sex in the Netherlands aren’t as liberal people on the outside think. If you haven’t listened to the first part of this series, check out Episode 79 for interviews with two Dutch sex workers. Get confidence where it counts with BlueChew! Their online service delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis in chewable tablets at a fraction of the cost. Listeners can try BlueChew FREE by using promo code PSYCH at checkout; just pay $5 shipping. Visit https://bluechew.com to learn more. This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

I taught a study abroad course on sex and culture in Amsterdam a few months ago for a group of sex therapists and, as part of that class, we visited a brothel. To be clear, we didn’t go for sex–we went for sex education! We invited several people who work in the sex industry in some way to come speak with us in small groups. In this episode and the next, I’m going to be sharing some of the fascinating things we learned. In today’s episode, you’ll be hearing two interviews I did with Dutch sex workers. First is Jennifer Jonker, who worked in the brothel we visited for several years. Jennifer now runs a coaching business focused on helping women who want to transition out of the sex work industry to find other forms of employment. Second is Tikka Stardust, a current social worker and sex worker who primarily works with clients who have physical and/or psychological disabilities. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: How does sex work actually work in the Netherlands? What does it look like in terms of cost and services provided? How is working in a brothel different from working in the “quick service” area of Amsterdam’s Red Light District? What are the positive and negative sides of sex work in a country where it is legal? To what degree is sex work about sex versus intimacy? What are attitudes toward sex work like in the Netherlands? Is it really as open and accepting as people on the outside think it is? For women who want to exit the sex work industry, what does that process look like? And how do you deal with the stigma associated with sex work? Do government subsidies for sex work really exist in the Netherlands for persons with disabilities? Stay tuned for our return visit to the brothel next week! In the next show, I’ll be speaking with a Dutch sex educator who teaches teachers how to talk about sex, as well as a social worker who works with victims of human trafficking in the sex work industry. Get confidence where it counts with BlueChew! Their online service delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis in chewable tablets at a fraction of the cost. Listeners can try BlueChew FREE by using promo code PSYCH at checkout; just pay $5 shipping. Visit https://bluechew.com to learn more. This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sexting has become so common that it’s not a stretch to call it the new “first base” in developing sexual relationships. For many people, sexting is now an integral part of how they connect with others sexually in the modern world, and it occurs in both casual and committed relationships. However, while sexting can be a handy way to boost arousal, communicate interest, and share your fantasies, it can also occur in ways that are coercive or harassing. In this episode, we talk about the good, bad, and ugly of sexting. My guest is Dr. Michelle Drouin, a professor of Psychology at Purdue University—Fort Wayne and a Senior Research Scientist at the Parkview Mirro Center for Research and Innovation. She has published an extensive body of research on the psychology sexting and is author of the book Out of Touch: How to Survive an Intimacy Famine. Some of the topics we explore include: What counts as sexting and how many people have done it before. What people’s experiences with sexting are usually like. The link between sexting and relationship satisfaction. How to practice “safe sexting.” Why so many men send unsolicited dick pics. When sexting becomes a form of coercion or harassment. Deception in online dating. How to spot scam artists like the Tinder Swindler. To learn more about Dr. Drouin, visit drmichelledrouin.com and be sure to check out her latest book, Out of Touch. Also, check out Episode 77 for part one of my conversation with Dr. Drouin, where we discuss tips for online dating and creating love that lasts. Get confidence where it counts with BlueChew! Their online service delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis in chewable tablets at a fraction of the cost. Listeners can try BlueChew FREE by using promo code PSYCH at checkout; just pay $5 shipping. Visit https://bluechew.com to learn more. This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest and Markus Winkler on Unsplash.

Modern technology has made us more connected than ever, but at the same time, many of us feel increasingly disconnected. We just aren’t getting the intimacy we’re craving. We’re starving for a type of intimacy that technology isn’t well-suited to provide. So how can we better meet our need for connection in a digital world? To answer this question, I spoke with Dr. Michelle Drouin, a behavioral scientist and expert on technology, relationships, and sexuality. She is a professor of Psychology at Purdue University—Fort Wayne and a Senior Research Scientist at the Parkview Mirro Center for Research and Innovation. Her latest book is Out of Touch: How to Survive an Intimacy Famine. Some of the topics we explore include: How technology is contributing to an “intimacy famine.” Tips for navigating online dating, including what to do if you aren’t getting any matches and also what to do if you feel overwhelmed by too many options. Whether having more sex can make us happier. Why bedtime routines are crucial to relationship satisfaction. How to cultivate love that lasts. To learn more about Dr. Drouin, visit drmichelledrouin.com and be sure to check out her latest book, Out of Touch. Get confidence where it counts with BlueChew! Their online service delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis in chewable tablets at a fraction of the cost. Listeners can try BlueChew FREE by using promo code PSYCH at checkout; just pay $5 shipping. Visit https://bluechew.com to learn more. This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Relationships and marriages aren’t just hard–they’re harder than ever because the expectations around them have changed so much. What worked in the past isn’t working anymore, so it’s time for a new approach. We need to figure out what works for us as individuals and create custom relationship agreements that reflect our wants and needs. But what goes into creating an ideal relationship agreement? That’s what we’re going to be discussing today. My guest is Dr. Tammy Nelson, a certified sex and relationship therapist. She is host of The Trouble with Sex podcast and the author of several books, including Open Monogamy: A Guide to Co-Creating Your Ideal Relationship Agreement. Some of the topics we discuss include: Why maintaining long-term monogamy today is more challenging than ever. How to know if an open relationship is right for you. When it’s a good idea to open up, and when it isn’t. Why empathy is key to having healthy relationship communication. How to navigate difficult conversations with a partner, and what to do when you have different wants and needs. The key ingredients of relationship agreements. How often you should revisit your relationship agreement. Common problems that can arise in open relationships, and how to deal with them. To learn more about Dr. Nelson, visit drtammynelson.com and be sure to check out her book, Open Monogamy. Get confidence where it counts with BlueChew! Their online service delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis in chewable tablets at a fraction of the cost. Listeners can try BlueChew FREE by using promo code PSYCH at checkout; just pay $5 shipping. Visit https://bluechew.com to learn more. This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

More than 60% of American adults say they’ve had sex with a friend in the past year, a number that has increased considerably over the last two decades. Despite the fact that sex between friends is so common, it’s not something people often discuss. Can you go back to being just friends afterwards? And how do you approach sex with a friend without anyone getting hurt? Today’s show is all about making “friends with benefits” work. My guest is Dr. Jesse Owen, a Professor in the Counseling Psychology Department at the University of Denver. He is a licensed psychologist with clinical specializations in couple and family therapy and multicultural therapy. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: What does it mean to be “friends with benefits” and what do these relationships tend to look like? Do people of different genders and sexual orientations approach friends with benefits in different ways? What are the main reasons people start having sex with their friends? How long do friends with benefits usually last, and what happens when these relationships end? Can friends with benefits go back to being just friends? Can they also turn into healthy romantic relationships? What questions should you ask yourself before jumping into a friends with benefits arrangement? What kinds of rules or boundaries should you consider if you have a friend with benefits in order to stay safe and prevent things from getting complicated? Learn more about Dr. Owen here. Level-up your intimate life with Beducated, the Netflix of better sex! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Enjoy a free trial today and get 70% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2201-lehmiller-kink  This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sex education in the United States leaves a lot of people on the sidelines, from racial and ethnic minorities to LGBTQ+ youth to persons with disabilities. Part of the reason for this is that just nine (!) states require sex ed to be delivered in an unbiased and culturally appropriate way. So how can we make sex education work for everyone? My guest today is Dr. Tanya Bass, an award-winning sexuality educator who teaches at North Carolina Central University’s Department of Public Health Education. She also founded the North Carolina Sexual Health Conference. We talk all about sex ed and how sex is depicted in the media—the good, the bad, and the very ugly of it all, and how we can improve it. Some of the topics we explore include: Who’s currently being left out of sex ed and what this means for their sexual health. Why representation is important in sex education, and how we can make sex ed more accessible to diverse audiences. The importance of language in sex ed (and why we need to stop talking about race as a “risk factor” for STDs). What we can do to promote better, more equitable sex ed for everyone. Which TV shows and movies are getting depictions of sex right, and which ones are getting it wrong. How popular media portrayals of sex influence our behavior. How we can use media depictions of sex as teachable moments. Learn more about Dr. Bass at tanyambass.com and follow her on the socials at @DrTanyaMBass Level-up your intimate life with Beducated, the Netflix of better sex! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Enjoy a free trial today and get 70% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2201-lehmiller-kink  This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

How can you tell if you’re in lust or in love? Is “love at first sight” real? When is the right time to say “I love you” in a relationship? And how do you keep love alive long-term? Today’s episode is all about the science of love, and we’re going to talk about so many important and fascinating questions! My guest is none other than “The Love Doctor” herself, Dr. Terri Orbuch. Terri is a distinguished professor at Oakland University and a research scientist at the University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research. She has been studying the science of love and relationships for more than three decades and her latest book is called Secrets to Surviving Your Children’s Love Relationships. We cover a lot of ground in this show, including: The four signs that distinguish love from lust. How to get the lust back in your relationship after the initial passion starts to decline. The truth about the “5 love languages” (is there actually any science behind this idea?). Tips for maintaining happy, healthy, loving relationships for the long haul. When it’s the right time to make your relationship “official” and to say “I love you” to a partner. When too much closeness becomes a problem, and how to maintain your individuality in a relationship. Tips for dialing down the pressure on Valentine’s Day and enjoying a stress-free holiday. How parents can help their kids to cultivate healthy relationships. This is such an important (and fun!) episode! To learn more about Terri, visit drterrithelovedoctor.com and be sure to check out her latest book, Secrets to Surviving Your Children’s Love Relationships. Level-up your intimate life with Beducated, the Netflix of better sex! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Enjoy a free trial today and get 70% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2201-lehmiller-kink  This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

At one time or another, almost everyone has had a BDSM fantasy of some type. Despite its widespread popularity, however, BDSM is a subject that remains widely misunderstood and stigmatized. It’s a taboo topic in broader society that people are often reluctant to discuss out of fear of being judged. So let’s talk about it! One of the biggest things that changed the way I think about BDSM was having the opportunity to interview a professional dominatrix a few years back. I’m bringing her onto the show today to give you an inside look at this world and what I learned. My guest is Stavroula Toska, an award-winning filmmaker who has received honors from the Sundance Film Festival and countless other festivals around the globe. Stavroula has a reputation for authentic storytelling that pushes boundaries and explores human nature from a unique point of view. Among her many compelling works is a web series called SWITCH, which chronicles her years of experience working in the BDSM scene. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: What it’s like to be a professional dominatrix, and how being a dominatrix changed the way Stavroula sees herself. Who visits a professional dominatrix, and why. Whether there’s any truth to the idea of powerful men wanting to be submissive in the bedroom. Whether BDSM is always about sex. Why Home Depot is a one-stop shop for professional dominatrixes (I love this part!). How the pandemic changed the world of professional domination. Why the stigma around BDSM persists. What people who want to explore BDSM for the first time need to know. To learn more about Stavroula, visit https://thetoskamatrix.com and check out her web series SWITCH at https://switchtheseries.com Level-up your intimate life with Beducated, the Netflix of better sex! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Enjoy a free trial today and get 70% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2201-lehmiller-kink  This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.