Sex and Psychology Podcast

One of the key principles embedded in many models of sexual consent is that consent must be specific. In other words, you need to know exactly what it is that you’re saying yes to. This also means you need to know in advance what it is that you want. However, we often don’t know what we want when it comes to sex, which makes navigating this issue rather tricky for everyone, but especially for women. Consenting to that which is unknown can be highly erotic, but it can be really risky, especially when a partner’s ideas about what you might want turn out to be wrong. My guest today is Katherine Angel, author of the internationally acclaimed book, Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again. Her previous books include Daddy Issues and Unmastered: A Book on Desire, Most Difficult to Tell. She is a Senior Lecturer in the English department and a Fellow of the Institute of Humanities and Social Sciences at Queen Mary, University of London. Some of the topics we discuss include: Why isn’t consent enough when it comes to having good sex? How do individuals navigate expressing their desires when they might not know what they want, and also when there’s a risk of being shamed or judged for sharing them? What does it really mean to have good sex? Is it a realistic goal for sex to always be good? A lot of sex advice comes down to “be vulnerable.” But vulnerability can be terrifying to some. So how do we navigate this? How does sex ed need to change to help people grapple with the complexities of sex? Click here to learn more about Katherine. Thank you to our sponsors! Give the gift of pleasure with Beducated! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription this holiday season and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2303-lehmiller The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

As many as 1 in 3 college students in the United States may be participating in “slut pages.” Slut pages are part of a digital underground world in which nude or partially nude photos and videos of women are shared without their consent. These pages are sometimes a form of revenge porn, but they can also be a twisted game in which people are awarded points for obtaining nude photos of specific women. So how common are slut pages? Why do people participate in them? And how can we stop online sexual harassment? Let’s talk about it. I am joined today by Dr. Megan Maas, an assistant professor in Human Development & Family Studies at Michigan State University. Her award-winning research, recognized by the American Psychological Association, and funded by the National Institutes of Health, focuses on media impacts on adolescents’ sexual and mental health. Some of the topics we discuss include: What is a “slut page”? How are slut pages and revenge porn similar or different? How common are slut pages, and what draws people to them? Why are women sometimes active participants in the slut-shaming of other women? How does being the target of a slut page affect someone’s mental health? What should someone do if they discover a slut page or revenge porn about them? And what can we do to prevent online sexual harassment? Be sure to check out Megan’s website to learn more about her, and follow her on Twitter @MeganKMaas. Are you a victim of image-based sexual abuse online? Here are some organizations that may be able to help: Cyber Civil Rights Initiative Without My Consent Thank you to our sponsors! “Ring” in the New Year with FirmTech! FirmTech’s Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  Enhance your pleasure with OMGYES! OMGYES provides super-honest videos, animations, and how-to’s based on the largest research study into women’s pleasure, done in partnership with the Kinsey Institute. Get 33% by visiting OMGYES.com/justin. Clinicians and therapists can get a free personal membership by visiting OMGYES.com/doctors.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Relationships are hard. But they can be especially hard when you or a partner are dealing with depression. In this episode, we’re going to explore how mental health issues like depression can pose unique relationship challenges, but also consider practical tips and tools for overcoming them, including how to be a supportive partner when you’re with someone who is depressed. I am joined once again by JoEllen Notte, a writer, speaker, and mental health advocate whose work explores the impact of depression on sex and relationships. Since 2012 she has written about sex, mental health, and how none of us are broken on her award-winning site, The Redhead Bedhead. JoEllen is the author of The Monster Under The Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations We Aren’t Having as well as the upcoming book In It Together: Navigating Depression with Partners, Friends, and Family. Some of the topics we discuss include:  How to take care of your mental health while dating. When to disclose a mental health condition to a partner. How depression can impact marriages and other long-term relationships. How to know when being unhappy is a mental health issue vs. a relationship issue. What people can do to be supportive of a partner with depression. Suggestions for navigating a breakup while managing depression or anxiety. Learn more about JoEllen at redheadbedhead.com. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. Give the gift of pleasure with Beducated! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription this holiday season and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2302-lehmiller  Enhance your pleasure with OMGYES! OMGYES provides super-honest videos, animations, and how-to’s based on the largest research study into women’s pleasure, done in partnership with the Kinsey Institute. Get 33% by visiting OMGYES.com/justin. Clinicians and therapists can get a free personal membership by visiting OMGYES.com/doctors.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

As a sex educator, one of the most common questions I get from parents is when and how to talk to their kids about sex. When should these conversations begin? And what do you need to know to successfully navigate them? Let’s talk about “the talk!” In this show, we’re going to explore tips on how to normalize conversations about sex, sexuality, and relationships with your kids and give them the resources and skills they need to make healthy decisions and to lead happy and fulfilling intimate lives. I am joined by Dr. Lanae St.John, also known as The MamaSutra. She is a board-certified sexologist, certified sex coach, and former professor of human sexuality. Lanae is also the author of Read Me: A Parental Primer for “The Talk.” She has first-hand knowledge about how to navigate issues of sexuality as a parent, and uses that experience to help her clients. Some of the topics we discuss include: How do you make conversations about sex comfortable instead of awkward? As a parent, how can you model healthy communication for your kids? What are some ways parents can teach basic consent principles to their children? What are some things parents can do to help their kids cultivate healthy body image? Pleasure is one of the primary reasons people have sex, but it is rarely taught in sex ed. What should be addressed when talking about pleasure? What do you need to know when it comes to talking to kids about porn? Check it out! To learn more about Lanae, visit her website “The Mamastura,” and follow her on Instagram @themamasutra. Lanae has also put together a handy set of resources for listeners on having “the talk,” which you can find here. Thank you to our sponsors! Give the gift of pleasure with Beducated! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription this holiday season and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2301-lehmiller “Ring” in the New Year with FirmTech! FirmTech’s Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What can you do to build stronger and healthier relationships in the New Year with everyone in your life? Let’s talk about it! In today’s episode, we’re going to discuss a wide range of relationships, starting with friendships, including how you can have an easier time both making and maintaining friends. We’re also going to talk about tips for starting new romantic connections (including how to get better at online dating), tips for strengthening romantic relationships new and old, as well as what you need to know about building a healthier relationship with yourself. I am joined once again by Dr. Juliana Hauser, a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor who specializes in relationships, sex, and sexuality. In addition to running a private practice, Dr. Juliana is a nationally known expert in this area whose work has appeared all over in the media. This is the second episode in a two-part series on sex and relationship resolutions, so be sure to check out the first part of our conversation if you haven’t already listened yet. Some of the topics we discuss today include: What are some new ways of making friends in the coming year? How can you maintain strong friendships without causing friction with your romantic partner? What can we do to become better online daters this year? What kind of communication skills do you need to cultivate in order to help your relationship thrive in the long term? For people in long-term relationships, how can they resolve to maintain a healthy level of autonomy and independence? What resolutions can men make to better themselves? To learn more about Juliana, visit dr-juliana.com, follow @drjulianahauser on IG, and be sure to check out her RESTORED program, a weekly support group for professional helpers. Thank you to our sponsors! Give the gift of pleasure with Beducated! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription this holiday season and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2251-lehmiller The Kinsey Institute’s (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate. The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

The end of another year is rapidly approaching, and that means a lot of people are soon going to start making resolutions for self-improvement. Oftentimes, those resolutions revolve around improving one’s physical health through exercise and diet, or bettering one’s mental health through finding better work-life balance or setting new boundaries. However, as you ponder your own resolutions for the new year, consider resolving to have better sex. With the right set of sexual resolutions, you can start to enjoy the best sex of your life! I am joined today by Dr. Juliana Hauser, a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor who specializes in relationships, sex, and sexuality. In addition to running a private practice, Dr. Juliana is a nationally known expert in this area whose work has appeared all over in the media. Some of the topics we discuss include: What are some practical things people can do to develop a greater sense of sexual empowerment? What are some resolutions people can make to improve their physical, mental, and emotional well-being that can also boost sexual performance and sexual satisfaction, too? How can partners break out of sexual routines and introduce more novelty into their sex lives in the new year? How can you learn to be more “present” during sex so that you can fully enjoy the experience? What does a “sex plan” involve, and how could you benefit from developing your own sex plan? Are there any sexual resolutions you shouldn’t make that might be counterproductive? To learn more about Juliana, visit dr-juliana.com, follow @drjulianahauser on IG, and be sure to check out her RESTORED program, a weekly support group for professional helpers. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. Get hard for the holidays with FirmTech! FirmTech’s Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

The latest evolution in pornography and erotica is virtual reality (VR), which is making adult content increasingly interactive. Most of the buzz about VR erotica involves taking solo masturbation to new heights. However, it can also be an innovative research method! VR is a way of simulating sex in a lab that can create a level of immersion you can’t replicate with 2-D porn. But an even more tantalizing application of VR is in the world of sex therapy. In fact, the future of sex therapy could be all about virtual reality! VR just might be the educational tool we need that also provides a safe space for exploring our sexuality. For today’s show, I am joined once again by Dr. Lori Brotto, a Professor at the University of British Columbia, practicing psychologist, and author of the books Better Sex Through Mindfulness and the all-new Better Sex Through Mindfulness Workbook. Some of the topics we discuss include: When scientists study sexual arousal, how do they decide what kind of porn or erotic content to show participants? Why might VR offer a more powerful way of studying arousal in a sex lab than traditional 2-D porn? How does VR impact feelings of “presence” and sexual arousal over and above 2-D porn? How might VR erotica be helpful for treating sexual difficulties? And what kinds of difficulties might this technology be helpful for? What is the future of VR in sex research and therapy? Check it out! To learn more about Lori, visit loribrotto.com and brottolab.com, follow @drloribrotto on IG, and be sure to pick up a copy of her latest book, the Better Sex Through Mindfulness Workbook. Thank you to our sponsors! Give the gift of pleasure with Beducated! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription this holiday season and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2250-lehmiller Get hard for the holidays with FirmTech! FirmTech’s Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Intimacy coordinators carefully choreograph sexual and intimate scenes to ensure respect and safety for the performers. However, what they actually do—the nuts and bolts of it all—is difficult work that oftentimes goes unrecognized (or is taken for granted) by the time a movie or TV show reaches our screens. So what all goes into filming scenes that feature simulated sex or intimacy? What does that process look like, and what happens when things don’t unfold according to plan? Let’s talk about it. This is the second episode in a two-part series all about what it takes to coordinate sex on screen. I am joined once again by Marci Liroff, who has worked as a casting director, producer, and acting coach for more than 40 years. Her extensive credits span more than 60 films and television series. In 2019, she completed an extensive training course and is now a Certified Intimacy Coordinator. If you haven’t listened to Part 1 yet, go back to the previous episode (Ep 151) and come back when you’re finished. Today, we’re going to expand our understanding of what an intimacy coordinator actually does. Some of the topics we’ll discuss include:  When an intimacy coordinator is hired for a gig, where do they begin? What are all of the things that have to happen before a scene is ever filmed? How does consent operate in the context of simulated sex? On the day a sex scene is actually filmed, what does that situation look like? And what are the kinds of things intimacy coordinators are monitoring? What are the roles of prosthetics and modesty garments in filming a sex scene? What are some of the unique considerations surrounding sexual assault and trauma that come up in these situations? What happens when an intimate scene involves a minor, such as a teenager having their first kiss? How do you make simulated sex seem authentic? Be sure to check out Marci’s website at marciliroffic.com to learn more about her work, and follow her on Twitter @marciliroff. Thank you to our sponsors! FirmTech’s Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  The Kinsey Institute’s (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest and 123RF/ronstik

Sex scenes are common in movies and on TV, but have you ever stopped to think about everything that goes into bringing one of those scenes to life? It’s a unique situation, and it puts the actors in a highly vulnerable position. For example, what if your scene partner goes off script and does something that you did not previously consent to? Or what if the director asks you to do something you aren’t comfortable with? In the past, issues like these weren’t given a lot of consideration, but that has all changed with the rise of intimacy coordinators. These are the folks who work to carefully choreograph sexual and intimate scenes to ensure respect and safety for the performers. This is the first episode in a two-part series all about what it takes to coordinate sex on screen. I am joined by Marci Liroff, who has worked as a casting director, producer, and acting coach for more than 40 years. Her extensive credits span more than 60 films and television series. In 2019, she completed an extensive training course and is now a Certified Intimacy Coordinator. Today, our conversation focuses on the evolution of on-screen sex scenes and the rise of intimacy coordinators. Some of the topics we discuss are: What are the power dynamics like on set, and how does this influence actors’ ability to advocate for themselves? How were sex scenes typically navigated before intimacy coordinators? When did intimacy coordinators first come onto the scene and what prompted studios to start hiring them? What are some of the things that people get wrong about intimacy coordinators, and how do we make production teams more receptive to the idea of bringing them on board? What is the certification process like to become an intimacy coordinator? Do intimacy coordinators have specializations? Or, do they need to be prepared for virtually any intimate scenario? Be sure to check out Marci’s website at marciliroffic.com to learn more about her work, and follow her on Twitter @marciliroff. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. Level-up your intimate life with Beducated, the Netflix of better sex! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2249-lehmiller  The Kinsey Institute’s (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Low sexual desire is one of the most common sexual problems out there, but it’s something that has been notoriously difficult to treat pharmacologically. The search for a pill that can produce desire out of thin air has been elusive, and that’s because desire is very complex.  So we need to look elsewhere for answers. One research-backed solution that has a lot of demonstrated success at both increasing sexual desire and dealing with other sexual difficulties is changing your headspace through mindfulness practices. In today’s episode, we’re going to discuss what mindfulness is, how it works, who it’s for, and practical tips for incorporating it into your sex life. I am joined once again by Dr. Lori Brotto, a Professor at the University of British Columbia, a practicing psychologist, and author of the books Better Sex Through Mindfulness and the all-new Better Sex Through Mindfulness Workbook. Some of the topics we discuss include: What does the term “mindfulness” really mean? How can mindfulness lead to more satisfying sex, and what’s the evidence for its effectiveness? How can practicing mindful eating help you to become more mindful in the bedroom? How do you learn to be mindful if you’re someone who has a very difficult time getting out of your head? How can fantasy and mindfulness work together to elicit arousal? How can romantic partners practice mindfulness together? How can mindfulness augment other treatments for sexual difficulties? Check it out! To learn more about Lori, visit loribrotto.com and brottolab.com, follow @drloribrotto on IG, and be sure to pick up a copy of her latest book, the Better Sex Through Mindfulness Workbook. Thank you to our sponsors! Give the gift of pleasure with Beducated! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription this holiday season and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2248-lehmiller FirmTech’s Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.