Sex and Psychology Podcast

Sexual consent is not as simple and straightforward as it might sound. It’s actually a complex and highly nuanced concept that means different things to different people and is communicated differently across contexts and relationships. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about how we can do better when it comes to obtaining consent, how to make consent sexy, tips for better sexual communication, and more. I am joined once again by Dr. Eric FitzMedrud, a therapist specializing in relationship and sexual issues in the San Francisco Bay Area. His specialty is helping men improve their sex lives, and his latest book is titled The Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex. Some of the topics we explore include: How is consent usually depicted in the popular media, and how does this line up with reality? How can you go about obtaining consent without taking the excitement and spontaneity out of sex? How has the language around sexual consent evolved in recent years? Is it realistic to think that everyone will practice enthusiastic consent? What is the three-step consent process? What else should we be talking about when it comes to understanding and improving sexual communication? To learn more, you can check out Eric’s website.  Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2340-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

There’s a growing narrative out there in the popular media and on social media that “men are trash” and that they need to “do better.” The response of some men has been to push back, and this has led to the rise of the “manosphere,” an online network of men’s rights activists pushing back against feminism. Tensions are quickly rising, so let’s talk about it. In today’s show we’re going to explore how the issues facing men have changed, what it means to be a “better man,” and more. My guest is Dr. Eric FitzMedrud, a therapist specializing in relationship and sexual issues in the San Francisco Bay Area. His specialty is helping men improve their sex lives, and his latest book is titled The Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex. Some of the topics we explore include: What was the inspiration for writing The Better Man? What are some common things people get wrong about testosterone and what it means for male sexuality? As a society, how can we help men “do better” without pushing them into radical communities? How have the struggles that men are dealing with changed over the past 15 years? How can men go about unburdening themselves from sexual shame and reclaim their sexuality? To learn more, you can check out Eric’s website.  Thank you to our sponsors!  Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In both porn and pop culture, we’re increasingly seeing women strapping on dildos and anally penetrating men, a sex act known as pegging. So what’s behind this growing trend? Let’s talk about it. In the last episode, we discussed the ins and outs of anal sex generally. Today, we’re going to dive further into the subject by exploring the popularity of pegging, the role of the prostate in sexual pleasure, tips for using sex toys during anal play, as well as what you need to know when it comes to douching and finding the right lube. I am joined once again by Dr. Thomas Gaither, a physician who is currently finishing up his urology residency at UCLA. In addition to conducting research on LGBT health and sexual medicine, he is an active TikTok creator teaching the masses about sexual health. You can find him on TikTok at that_prostate_doc. Some of the topics we explore include: Why is prostate stimulation such a big part of anal pleasure for men? What are some of the reasons why women might enjoy anal sex? What is the appeal of pegging to heterosexual men? How might someone introduce the idea of anal play to a relationship partner? If you’re worried about anal sex potentially being messy, what can you do about that? To learn more, you can check out Tom’s linktree and follow him on TikTok. Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2338-lehmiller  Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Despite the fact that anal sex has become an increasingly common sexual activity, it’s a subject that continues to be ignored in almost all sex education. As a result, people generally have to learn about it all on their own, and there can be a bit of a learning curve. In today’s show, we’re going to explore how to approach this activity in ways that are safe and pleasurable, as well as some common myths and misconceptions surrounding it. My guest is Dr. Thomas Gaither, a physician who is currently finishing up his urology residency at UCLA. In addition to conducting research on LGBT health and sexual medicine, he is an active TikTok creator teaching the masses about sexual health. You can find him on TikTok at that_prostate_doc. Some of the topics we explore include: How many people practice anal sex? Why do people engage in anal sex? What do they get out of it? Is there any truth to the idea that anal sex causes long-term damage to the body? What should someone do if they experience pain during this activity? If someone is interested in trying anal sex for the first time, what do they need to know? To learn more, you can check out Tom’s linktree and follow him on TikTok. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

It’s one thing to visit a sex shop, but it’s quite another to stand behind the counter! Working in one of these stores can be a very fulfilling and rewarding experience, but it can also be challenging due to the wide range of customers. A lot of the people walking through the door might be feeling embarrassed. Some might have a complicated relationship with their own sexuality. And others will be rude or immature. So what’s it actually like to work in a sex shop? In today’s show, we’re going to explore the good, bad, and ugly of it all. I am joined once again by Fancy Feast, a Brooklyn-based burlesque performer, writer, and sex educator whose work has been profiled on NPR, Refinery29, and The Huffington Post. Her new book, Naked: On Sex, Work, and Other Burlesques, was the focus of the previous episode. Some of the topics we explore include: How is working in a sex shop like being an amateur sex therapist? What kind of training and sex ed do these shops provide to employees? What are some of the most fun and rewarding aspects of working at a sex shop? How does a lack of sex ed contribute to poor customer behavior in these shops? How can selling sex toys be a liberating experience, both for the seller and customer? How did the arrival of 50 Shades of Grey change what it’s like to work in a sex shop? To learn more, you can check out Fancy Feast’s website, and stay connected on Instagram and Twitter. Thank you to our sponsors! Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

At the beginning of the 20th century, burlesque shows featuring stripteases took the United States by storm. They played on Broadway and were popular across the country. By the end of the century, though, they had all but disappeared. However, burlesque has since made a comeback and is arguably more popular than ever. So let’s dive into the world of modern burlesque! I spoke with a burlesque performer about how she got into the business, the role and meaning of nudity in her performances, how audiences react to her shows, and so much more. My guest is Fancy Feast, a Brooklyn-based burlesque performer, writer, and sex educator whose work has been profiled on NPR, Refinery29, and The Huffington Post. Her debut book, Naked: On Sex, Work, and Other Burlesques, is set for release next month. Some of the topics we explore include: At its core, what makes something a burlesque performance? What are some of the different meanings of nudity for burlesque performers, and how is this communicated to the audience? What does the process of preparing for a burlesque show look like? How do local laws limit what performers can do in their acts? How (and why) do people’s opinions about burlesque differ from other forms of sex work? To learn more, you can check out Fancy Feast’s website, and stay connected on Instagram and Twitter. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

MILF is one of the most searched for terms on popular porn sites year after year. So why are so many heterosexual guys drawn to hot, middle-aged mother figures? In the previous episode, we talked a bit about why older women are drawn to younger guys; so in this show, we’re going to explore the opposite perspective. We’re also going to dive a little further into the reality series MILF Manor and discuss why you can make a show about older women seeking younger guys, but you could never make a show about older men seeking younger women. I am joined once again by Ashley Weller, a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She also has a podcast called What’s Your Position which tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view. Some of the topics we explore include: Why do so many young guys find MILFs to be so hot? What actually makes someone a “MILF” anyway? Is it about age? Confidence? Something else? Why are age-gap relationships becoming more acceptable when the older partner is a woman, but less acceptable when the older partner is a man? We also explore the wide range of reactions the male contestants had to being on MILF Manor, what this show tells us about sex ed and sexual communication, the sexual double standard, and more. You can find Ashley on Instagram and check out her Linktree to stay connected. Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2337-lehmiller Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Whenever an older female celebrity dates a younger guy, it tends to make the news. These women, often referred to as “cougars” or “MILFS,” have long had their relationships subject to scrutiny and stigma. However, the narrative around them has shifted, and nowadays, they’re frequently celebrated in the media. Case in point: the recent arrival of the popular reality series MILF Manor, a show in which a group of middle-aged moms date each other’s sons. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into why so many older women are into younger guys, what their relationships are like, and do a little analysis of MILF Manor. My guest today is Ashley Weller, a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She hosts a podcast called What’s Your Position that tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view. Some of the topics we explore include: How common are age-gap relationships? Why might an older heterosexual woman want to date a significantly younger guy? Is MILF Manor a sign of progress, or is it feeding stereotypes around women and aging? We also explore the dynamics between moms and their sons on the show, the unrealistic beauty standards older women are held to, and why a show that was designed to facilitate sexual and romantic connections struggled to produce matches. You can find Ashley on Instagram and check out her Linktree to stay connected. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think about the city of Berlin, Germany? There’s a good chance that you pictured a kinky nightclub. It’s estimated that as many as 1 in 3 visitors to Berlin goes specifically for these clubs. In today’s show, we’re going to explore how Berlin became a hub for kinky nightlife and discuss what it’s actually like inside two of Berlin’s most famous spots, the KitKat Club and Berghain. We’ll also take a look at how consent works in a sex club and give you some pro-tips on getting into Berlin’s clubs because they’re known as being notoriously difficult to enter. I am joined once again by Jeff Mannes, a social scientist, speaker, tour guide, sex educator, and freelance writer living in Berlin. Since 2018, he has been running his critically acclaimed guided tour “Berlin’s History of Sex” in Augmented Reality. This year, he launched additional guided tours on “The Story of Berlin’s Clubs” and “Berlin’s Queer & Trans History.” Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: What role did the Berlin wall play in leading the city to become a nightlife hotspot? What could someone expect to see or experience if they visited KitKat or Berghain? What is a dark room, and why are they so common in Berlin and across Europe? How does consent work in sex club and group sex environments? How do Berlin’s clubs deal with privacy when everyone has a smartphone? To learn more, check out Jeff’s Berlin Guide website for information on all of his tours. Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2336-lehmiller Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Earlier this year, I taught a study abroad course on sex and culture in Berlin. As part of that trip, we took a three-hour guided tour on Berlin’s sexual history, and it was fascinating! I wanted to share what we learned with you, so I invited our wonderful tour guide onto the show to give us the highlight reel. In this episode, we’re going to chat about the roots of Berlin’s sexual liberation, which trace back more than a century. We’ll also discuss the history of sex research and therapy in Germany, which is equally fascinating. My guest is Jeff Mannes, a social scientist, speaker, tour guide, sex educator, and freelance writer living in Berlin. Since 2018, he has been running his critically acclaimed guided tour “Berlin’s History of Sex” in Augmented Reality. This year, he launched additional guided tours on “The Story of Berlin’s Clubs” and “Berlin’s Queer & Trans History.” Some of the topics we explore include: How can Berlin’s modern reputation for sex-positivity be traced back to the Roaring 20s? Who was Magnus Hirshfeld, and why is he a pivotal figure in the history of sex? How did the Nazis’ rise to power alter the sexual landscape in Germany? How did the post-WWII era shift towards sex-positivity in Berlin? Are attitudes towards sex in Berlin becoming more conservative today? To learn more, check out Jeff’s Berlin Guide website for information on all of his tours. Thank you to our sponsors! Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.