Sex and Psychology Podcast

A lot of the things you’ve probably learned about what healthy relationships look like are just plain wrong. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into what you really need to know. Some of the topics we’re going to explore include how to know whether a given relationship is right for you, how to avoid moving too fast, and the single best things you can do for your relationship health. I am joined once again by Claire Perelman, a Queer, Jewish Sex Therapist and Educator living and working in the Bay Area. Her work with clients, workshops, podcasts, and social media focuses on making sex education more accessible and normalizing sexual pleasure and play in people’s lives. You can find her on the socials at @sexclarified. Some of the topics we discuss include: Is a good relationship supposed to be hard or easy? Why is it unrealistic to expect a perfect sex life? What factors actually predict relationship satisfaction? How can we prioritize our relationships even when we’re busy? You can check out Claire’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Whether you consider yourself to be kinky or not, there’s a lot that all of us can learn from the kink community that could benefit our sex lives. Today, we’re going to explore five important things to know about cultivating safer, healthier, and more pleasurable sexual experiences. Along the way, we’re also going to dispel some common misconceptions about kink. My guest is Claire Perelman, a Queer, Jewish Sex Therapist and Educator living and working in the Bay Area. Her work with clients, workshops, podcasts, and social media focuses on making sex education more accessible and normalizing sexual pleasure and play in people’s lives. You can find her on the socials at @sexclarified. Some of the topics we address in this episode include: What are some of the biggest myths about the world of kink? What does negotiation during sex look like in practice? What is the importance of checking-in during sex and how do you go about this? How can we unburden ourselves of sexual shame and come to self-acceptance? If you’re looking to explore kink for the first time, what do you need to know? You can check out Claire’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Marielle de Goede, a psychologist and researcher from Amsterdam, conducted a groundbreaking study on sexual fantasies in the Netherlands and Belgium. She discusses fascinating cultural differences in erotic imaginations, such as why cuckolding is less common in Europe than in the U.S. Marielle explores how political beliefs influence fantasies and shares insights on emotional complexities, from feelings of shame to the joy of validation. She also offers advice on the best ways to communicate fantasies within intimate relationships, enhancing connections between partners.

David Khalili, a licensed marriage and family therapist and board-certified sexologist, shares insights on men's anxiety around sex and relationships. He reveals how performance anxiety affects intimacy and self-esteem, highlighting societal pressures on body image and masculinity. Khalili discusses coping strategies for managing anxiety, the importance of communication in relationships, and the impact of societal expectations on men's sexual experiences. He also addresses the taboos surrounding conversations about sex, offering resources for deeper understanding.

In this discussion, David Khalili, a licensed marriage and family therapist and board-certified sexologist, sheds light on the silent struggles many men face regarding mental health. He highlights the stigma surrounding men's mental health conversations and explores how loneliness and vulnerability contribute to these issues. The link between mental health and sexual desire is intricate, with stress impacting intimacy. David shares practical strategies for coping with emotional challenges while emphasizing the importance of supportive connections.

When it comes to how sex and sexuality are portrayed on screen, what does Hollywood get right and wrong? Let’s talk about it! I recently appeared on the Love Factually Podcast, hosted by my friends Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel. They asked me to select a film about sex, so I picked the 2010 movie Easy A starring Emma Stone. We had a really fun conversation about it, so I wanted to share it with you today. Easy A covers a lot of timely themes, including sexual reputation, virginity, casual sex, and the sexual double standard. We discuss how this film handles them, what the science says about these topics, and also how our sexual culture has shifted since this film first came out. Some of the topics we explore include: Does the sexual double standard still exist for men and women? How is casual sex related to self-esteem? What does this movie get right and wrong about hookup culture? How do reputational concerns influence women’s interest in casual sex? I hope you enjoy this episode of the Love Factually podcast—and if you like what you hear, give Paul and Eli’s show a follow on Apple or Spotify. Have a sex question of your own? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Ashley Weller, a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University and host of What’s Your Position, joins to tackle intriguing listener questions. They discuss eco-friendly disposal methods for unwanted sex toys, revealing the complexities involved. Ashley also provides insightful advice for a sex worker on how to approach conversations about her profession with her children. Their banter blends humor and expert insight, making these sensitive topics relatable and engaging.

In today’s show, we are answering more of your sex questions! We recently had two questions come through our podcast voicemail that center around navigating relationships where the partners are significantly different in terms of age, so that’s what we’re going to be talking about in this show. To help me in answering these questions, Ashley Weller is back on the podcast. She is a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She also runs her own podcast called What’s Your Position, which tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view. Some of the topics we explore include: What counts as an “age-gap relationship” anyway? Why are age-gap relationships so stigmatized? If you’re in an age-gap relationship, how do you deal with all of the social judgment? How do you maintain a healthy and active sex life in an age-gap relationship when partners have different libidos? What are some of the most common challenges that come up in age-gap relationships? Have a sex question of your own? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Join Dr. Sharon Flicker, a clinical psychologist and Associate Professor at California State University – Sacramento, as she dives into the intriguing world of love languages. Discover the five love languages and whether everyone has a primary one. Learn how speaking your partner's love language can boost relationship satisfaction and which languages are most effective. Flicker unveils surprising findings from her new study and critiques existing research, highlighting the need for more depth in understanding love languages in diverse relationships.

Dr. Barry McCarthy, an emeritus professor of psychology and certified couples therapist, shares his insights on sexual health. He introduces the Good Enough Sex Model, emphasizing the importance of realistic expectations over mere medical solutions. Playfulness is highlighted as a crucial element for enhancing intimacy and resolving sexual disagreements. McCarthy also discusses the evolving landscape of sexual concerns and encourages a focus on pleasure and connection for healthier relationships.