Something Positive for Positive People

At STD Engage, a conference of public health professionals hosted by the National Coalition of STD Directors, two of the hosts, Samantha and Rebecca shared the stage with an NCSD member sharing their experiences with health care providers in relation to sexual health. Rob, another host, shared their sexual healthcare horror story via video because they were unable to attend in person. Collectively, hearing these three experiences was enough for me to KNOW these had to be shared more for the sake of creating change in the healthcare space. Hearing the stories of Akua, Rebecca, Sam and Rob during the recording was powerful. Collectively, the pattern I noticed was that their experiences mirrored a lot of what I hear from other #WNAB stories from discomfort from the providers around sex, lack of bedside manner, bias from the provider, a couple of isms from the providers, providers not being up to date on STI testing protocol and the need for a way to identify sex positive, empathetic and queer friendly health care providers. One thing that stood out that I hadn’t heard much beforehand, is how much work they, as patients had to do on their end from discussing birth control options, getting throat swabs for chlamydia, accessibility and the lack of accountability for providers essentially knowing their shit.

When you received your herpes diagnosis, there was probably an intensity or absence of emotion. Whatever it was, this likely wasn't the first time you felt it. I invite you to explore the most recent time you had that feeling (or absence of feeling) if you are able to name it. Once you have the emotion and know the most recent time you felt it other than your herpes diagnosis, then see if you can identify the FIRST time you felt it. This could have come from an interaction with your early caregiver(s)/parents/grandparents/foster parents. Now that you've identified those three, you have a solid base for establishing an idea of what pattern is consistently present that the emotion emerges from. I BELIEVE (I'm trying to stop using the word hope) you'll find this to be useful.

*Since the release of this podcast episode January 22, 2022, there have been significant changes with SPFPP, including now offering support to people seeking the spiritual significance of herpes and stigma. Please reach out regarding the Restorative Yoga and Meditation Practices we have available. - Revised Jan. 18, 2024 In this insightful episode of the SPFPP podcast, we welcome our guest, Stephanie Boyd, who candidly shares her personal story with chlamydia, including the initial misinterpretation of its symptoms. The discussion delves into the emotional turmoil and 'what if?' scenarios often encountered before disclosing a sexual health condition. We explore the complexities of reactions to herpes stigma and rejection, questioning whether the dismissal of herpes by some is merely a coping mechanism. Stephanie, who supports women with herpes in overcoming the shame associated with disclosing, offers her perspective on finding meaningful relationships post-diagnosis. For those interested in connecting with Stephanie, you can find her on Instagram at @servingwithsteph. A key focus of the episode is the intersection of sexual shame and the spiritual significance of herpes. To further understand this aspect, we discuss insights from an article exploring these themes, which can be found at Wellness Touchstones. This conversation aims to provide a deeper understanding and a new perspective on living with herpes.

The Mental Realness Mami, Mental Health Writer herself, Priscilla Maria Gutierrez, joins Something Positive for Positive People to discuss the realness of mental health. We talk about how black and brown communities are systemically placed under circumstances not condusive to their growth. We discuss eating disorders and emotional hunger, borderline personality disorder and how depression and other mental illnesses may not look the same from one person to the next.

Lorrae is here to reclaim "slut" and empower women. We discuss the We Need a Button Campaign advocating for empathetic, queer friendly, shame free care and Lorrae's experiencing shame by care providers in the past. It's important that we receive this shame free care as it creates space for providers and patients to best work together in order for the best treatment to be provided. We discuss dick pics, slut-shamers, partners disclosing their STI status, sex party etiquette, and of course changing the narrative around sluttiness. Enjoy this episode with the vibrant Lorrae Jo, Founder of Slutty Girl Problems. Bio: Lorrae Jo, the Founder of Slutty Girl Problems believes every woman deserves an awesome, loving relationship with her partner(s), her sex life, and herself - and it’s her mission to make sure that happens. Her goal is to empower women. to create the life and love they crave - with relationship, mindset, and wellness tools to live adventurous, free, and happy AF. For as long as she can remember, Lorrae’s been interested in sexuality. Since college, it’s been her passion. In kindergarten, she got in trouble for kissing boys on the playground. As soon as she learned how to use a computer, she was up late learning about sex from porn (not the best sex-ed tool, but she worked with what she had).

*Trigger Warning* Reference to childhood sexual abuse* Our guest, David Wraith, showed up in my life at a time where I thought I was the only sex positive black, non-monogamous man in the Midwest. David brought into my awareness that questioning and exploring your sexuality as a man should be liberating and not something that just automatically makes you something that isn't heterosexual and he talks us through how we can navigate that. We joke about him being a retired sex worker and we talk about how his kinks evolved after becoming widowed and there was hypersexuality in his grieving. David is a co-founder of Sex Positive St. Louis, and has the radical audacity to be himself!

Skip ahead 22 minutes for the start of the discussion. I got carried away in the intro just thanking everyone for the personal changes I've experienced alongside the expansion of this podcast. Thank you all so much for allowing me on this journey with you! This was a live recording of a co-panel discussion about herpes from a medical perspective and experience based perspective put together by Kendra Holliday, Co-founder of Sex Positive St. Louis. We talk through some HSV basics and answer a few questions. I share my experience in a room full of herpes positive, sex positive, herpes negative, risk aware, just an overall accepting crowd. Afterwards we mingled and exchanged experiences among one another and asked more questions and had some gooey butter cake. This event opened up my range of perspective to see that this is something with potential to happen again in collaboration with other sex positive communities. What was most cool to me about this was that it was such a mixed crowd and people with herpes who normally wouldn't attend something like that in fear of being "found out" managed to come socialize and get a glimpse into what it can be like to surround yourself with others who are understanding or seeking to learn about the virus and experiences people have with it. Resources mentioned: SexELDucation - Emily Depasse Penny for Your Thoughts Campaign Asking for a Friend - Rich Mancuso Projectaccept.org Cdc.gov

We hear from a Public Health Nurse who shares how using suggestive language helps her to serve communities that are challenging to connect with. People who exchange sex for survival (sex workers) and inmates have resistances to getting tested and treated. Our guest, Tessa shares some of what she's learned working with these groups. Tessa can be reached @tessa.robinson@co.washington.or.us

November 19-22 of 2019 I attended STD Engage. The most universal way I can think to describe it is that it was a conference of public health professionals where the goal was to exchange experiences in order to best serve those affected by STDs. What I learned cannot be condensed into the episodes I recorded while there, but this is definitely a start! I met and interviewed Amanda B. Dennison, Director, Programs and Partnerships about her experience. Amanda was diagnosed with genital herpes and as a public health professional stigma has to look a little different, right? I'll let Amanda tell you all that. Check out this episode of Something Positive for Positive People with the National Coalition of STD Directors' own, Amanda B. Dennison. Contact: Adennison@ncsddc.org; 202-969-0988 Director of Programs and Partnerships with National Coalition of STD Directors

In "Psychocybernetics", Dr. Maxwell Maltz shares a story of a weary traveler who is hunched over, fatigued and moving slowly as he progresses down the road. Along the way, he's met by a child who points out a heavy boulder on his shoulders, asking "why are you carrying that boulder?". The traveler hadn't thought about it before and set it alongside the rode and progressed with a straighter posture, standing proudly. Another stranger notices some weeds around the travelers ankles and knees which the traveler hadn't noticed before, so he pulls out his pocket knife and cut them off, now walking upright and at a faster pace with greater stride down the road. The point of this story is to highlight that the traveler had problems that he was completely unaware of. He struggled without knowing he was until these things slowing him down were brought into his awareness. We have the ability to heal ourselves and move at greater strides in life, but only when what needs to be healed is then revealed.