Help Me Be Me

We have a finite reserve of drive, otherwise known as libido. Libido is often used to refer to sexual desire but it also refers to a psychological drive – an energy for life satisfaction. In this episode I am referring to your drive and your ibido as psychic energy in general. This is about protecting your source of drive: channeling it toward that which you truly desire on a deep, personal level. Often in life, our drive gets fractured or frustrated by the needs of others or by filling the void with things like substances. I invite you to reflect on what’s happening in your life and where your libido is currently going. It needs to be channeled toward that which is most important to you. We must create a strong and consistent “container” or safe space for ourselves to bring forth any goal. Whatever condition in your life is stealing you away from a goal – I encourage you to be active in that fight even if it is unpleasant. That is a step in the process of change. Being in the struggle is how we move planets in our life. The books I mention in the episode are here: https://amzn.to/3XkmC17 https://amzn.to/43eEyOg  And this is the dreamwork book: https://amzn.to/3Xg3i5a Support our sponsors: Chewy: chewpanions.chewy.com/YAYWITHME to get $20 off your first order.Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job creditBetterHelp: betterhelp.com/helpmebeme to get 10% off your first month of therapy Ritual: ritual.com/helpmebeme for 25% your first month TruDiagnostic: TruDiagnostic.com and  use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off your entire order or subscriptionBubs Naturals: BubsNaturals.com and use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometimes there is a path forward that we have not leveraged because we spin out in guilty ruminations and projections. You may want to get out of a relationship or change a condition in your life, but you defer to another person’s thoughts as you imagine them in your own mind. We often block ourselves from aligning with a truth with self-limiting beliefs and guilt because for codependents guilt is INTENSE. This is about ways that codependency can show up: allowing the feelings of others to block us from what we want. This is aimed at reflection and a chance to look inward. I wanted to say if you’re in a place like this – you feel stuck and it feels like it’s all on this other person, that is an opportunity to step back, tune in, and practice letting go. Sending love… The book I mention is this lovely read: https://amzn.to/4oB0o6I Sponsors: Factor: FactorMeals.com/HELPMEBEME50OFF and use code HELPMEBEME50OFF to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year.BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/helpmebeme to get 10% off your first month of therapy Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job creditHeadspace: Headspace.com/HELPMEBEME60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 daysRitual: ritual.com/helpmebeme for 25% your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Unlock your creative flow by reclaiming your lost self! Discover how life’s demands, relationships, and burnout can block your energy. Learn the importance of creating private psychic space, forgiving your creative lapses, and reframing your goals. Dive into routines that support your nervous system, tackle avoidance behaviors, and trust uncontrolled flow for authentic work. Externalize your fears through unique journaling techniques and interpret your dreams for deeper insights. Get ready to design your life around your creative aspirations!

Explore the transformative power of loss as a seasonal reset in our lives. Embrace the Stoic perspective that every setback holds hidden gifts for growth. Discover tools like Lack Scanning to identify healing needs and a gratitude journaling practice to combat scarcity thinking. Learn how to navigate feelings of inadequacy and shift from victimhood to empowerment. Ultimately, find compassion through personal pain and the strength to maintain momentum toward your goals while welcoming new opportunities.

Explore the art of designing a life rich in meaning and purpose. Discover how the right environment and relationships recharge your spirit. Delve into the metaphor of driving in fog, focusing on incremental steps toward self-discovery. Hear about journaling prompts to uncover your core qualities and envision a fulfilling future. Emphasizing presence, this conversation encourages reclaiming your childhood spirit while fostering gratitude for those who support you. It’s all about returning to your true self, one deliberate choice at a time.

What is love bombing? It’s a term used to describe the initial phase of a relationship when someone is trying to “seal the deal” with intoxicating affection. The person connects quick and hard, often validating you in ways you have craved your whole life; saying all the things you want to hear, treating you like you have dreamed of being treated. They make you feel seen and adored, which is why it’s so confusing and painful when it ends.   A lot of people ask me, what happened to that person? Was it not real? It was real for you in your personal experience – however the person who enacted it was not portraying their true self. A person like this usually collects fans. They collect adorers, and they get off on the feeling of control. So I describe it often as a person with a different kind of brain. More on this plus some tools in this episode. This is for one person in particular but also meant for anyone who has fallen for a person who immediately disposed of you after you thought they were the one. And if you’ve been love-bombed and then deeply wounded, I send you much love. Hang in there. xox   Support this week’s sponsors! LolaBlankets.com -  use code HELPMEBEME for 35% off AquaTru.com - use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off any AquaTru purifier  Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit  Wayfair.com Headspace.com/HELPMEBEME60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days  TruDiagnostic.com and use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off your entire order or subscription Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you being loving or are you enabling someone to remain dysfunctional? How do you tell? If you are a person who finds you are enraged and triggered by a relationship in your life and you feel powerless, this episode is about imbalanced relationships where one person is overactive and another person is underactive and how that “sick system” self-perpetuates despite everyone having good intentions. If you are unsure whether or not you are codependent, ask yourself – do you obsess about the way another person lives their life and does it make you miserable? Are you finding yourself being put in compromising situations because of that person? This episode might be a helpful starting point. Also here are a few must-reads! Codependent No More https://amzn.to/4ooLFfW Courage to Change https://amzn.to/3HgpAzC The Dance of Anger https://amzn.to/45kZlQj Sponsors: Chewy: chewy.com/podhelpmebeme to save $20 on your first order with free shipping  BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/helpmebeme to get 10% off your first month of therapy  Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit Wayfair: Wayfair.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The alt name for this episode was “Ask More of Yourself” but that felt kind of agro. A lot of success in life happens in tiny micro changes. This episode is to help you curate the mindset of “I got this” as you move through your day. This is about building agency and momentum via seeing success as something small. Keeping a perspective of our own ability, sense of agency, and curating a feeling of “I got this” as we move through challenging times or new, fear-inducing territory. Stick around for the tools in this one! This has tips for staying in the channel of focus on what you’re doing right. Appreciating life in the exertion periods and giving yourself an awareness snap of, “Oh, wow, it’s actually not so hard, and I can do this” We can get that snap of clarity when we can look at a loved one from a generation past or the long hours demanded of an Olympic athlete. That concept of empowered endurance and self-motivation is a reset for our day to day toils. Sending love… you are so much stronger than you think, right now. Support this week’s sponsors!Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job creditWayfair: Wayfair.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’re struggling with trying to keep a handle on your own beliefs in the face of a person with a strong ego, as in a romantic relationship or parental relationship where they talk you out of your feelings or tell you that you’re wrong, this is for you! A lot of people struggle to self-validate. You might defer to another person’s opinion or have a person in your life who talks you out of your beliefs, even if you feel strongly about them the moment you have them. When we are feeling insecure and second guessing ourselves, we are looking for grounding. In the spin – as I call it. We cannot discern the truth – it is illusive to us. We keep thinking “I feel this way! Am I wrong?” What we need to recognize in that moment of that feeling is that we need to back up from the issue and get a wider perspective. The issue is co-created by us and another person and the solution is a longer but accessible one.  This episode is about creating a dose of perspective with context and tools. Often what this comes down to is we are struggling to believe our feelings and trust ourselves and often the other person is controlling us. That might be sinister or it might be totally innocent and invisible to that person. For example, it could be a person who doesn’t want you to leave them. Or it could be a parent who can’t see you any other way than a child. The reason this becomes toxic and unhealthy is when it prevents you from growth. If you have a light inside you that wants to grow, to stand on your own two feet and be the boss of yourself – then this is for you. Sponsors: Chewy: chewy.com/podhelpmebeme to save $20 on your first order with free shipping  BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/helpmebeme to get 10% off your first month of therapy  Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit Wayfair: Wayfair.com    BOOK recos for this episode: Intimate Partners https://amzn.to/4kCyBQU Dance of Anger https://amzn.to/3Iqob9T Courage to Change https://amzn.to/44La6en Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is about expanding your consciousness using moments of emptiness and dissatisfaction as a starting point. I will invite you to widen your capacity and open your energy to a higher level by “using the material” that is the dissatisfaction.  Lots of tools in this one. If you feel like you’ve been living loops of stagnation and have been unable to see what is blocking your happiness – like “I am doing all the right things, why do I feel empty?” Feeling that something is missing, that we need something to fix us or fill the void…Or being spiritually starved by your environment…Or the intimate relationships never pan out or become what we had hoped. A lot of this comes into play when we are following a bunk map – we set a goal that is a 2D snapshot and think “I just need this and then I am done!” But happiness is about growing in three dimensions, inwardly. So where to go from here?  Lean into your humanity and set the goal to go deeper. We need our humanity and connection to others on an authentic level. We need to utilize our truth and creativity and feel a worthiness in our experiences. It comes from our sense of spirituality: a sense of trust and faith in the universe. We need our own version of “God” whatever that might be, and if you don’t have that, you can grow it by taking small steps. The books I mentioned (True and False Magic) https://amzn.to/4luF8Ot And Notes to George: https://amzn.to/4kgc3Fo Support this week’s sponsors: BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/helpmebeme to get 10% off your first month Headspace: Headspace.com/HELPMEBEME60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days. Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit Wayfair: Wayfair.com  Mint Mobile: mintmobile.com/helpmebeme - get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices