The person you see in your head when you think “me” probably isn’t you.

Most of us don’t perceive ourselves accurately—we see a distorted, unrealistically negative version. Not because it’s true… but because your brain is trying (and failing) to protect you from pain.

In this episode I explain “The Magnet”: the force that pulls your self-concept downward after experiences like rejection, failure, and embarrassment—so you’ll “reject yourself first” before the world can do it.

It’s a defense mechanism… but it comes with two brutal costs:

You trade short, sharp pain for a lifetime of dull pain
You start preemptively opting out of opportunities, connection, growth, and visibility

If you live with chronic self-criticism, low self-esteem, or an internal “lowlight reel” that plays on repeat… this episode will help you interrupt it.

If my podcast has helped, my new book, The Light Between the Leaves, goes even deeper

Next Steps:📩 Get Practical tools for navigating life with depression and anxiety, delivered weekly.

About me:

I know what it is to feel hopelessly stuck and worthless to the world in general. I also know what it is to live without those feelings. I’m both a Clinical Psychology specializing in treatment-resistant depression and anxiety, and a human who has spent more than a decade managing sever depression and anxiety.

Resources

🪣 Get my free 5-day guide to reclaiming your time and energy despite mental health struggles.

😴 Dramatically improve your sleep in 2 steps with my new Sleep Workbook.

📖 My 1st book: For When Everything is Burning

Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.

But I do care.

Frankie Borelli

The AI-powered Podcast Player