Episode 188: The Not So Obvious Ways to Self Care with Dana & NJ

Self care is one of those things we boss moms often talk about.....a lot more than we actually do. Am I right?? Boss mom life is not for the faint of heart as we constantly try to juggle #allthethings with as much grace as possible.

In today's episode you'll hear super real conversation surrounding the realities of self care (or lack thereof!) and some of our thoughts and ideas on how to get practical and start making self care a greater priority.

Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher

When you go through seasons in your life or business where you're really stressed out, not taking good care of yourself, and constantly running, it's inevitable to experience the emotional peaks and valleys that come from feeling like life is outside of your control.

The baseline things like rest, hydration, nutrition, exercise and recovery time are often the things that we give up first in the name of doing for other before ourselves.

There's a problem, however, when we let that response become our default instead of prioritizing our own self care so that we can more effectively serve and give as we live our lives.

When we talk about self care, we really aren't talking about the special, pampering things like massages and pedicures (although those things are nice too!) We are really talking about it from a perspective of taking a real, honest look at how you're doing and filling the gaps between where you're at and where you need to be.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself to get started on the road to better self care, especially when you find yourself in a season of push, which you'll hear us talk about a LOT in this episode (because hey, that's where I am right now!)

1. What is working?

It's easy when you feel run down, worn out and ragged to feel like nothing is working and everything is a mess. We've all been there, right? But always keep this thought in your back pocket: the only thing that is ever the end of the world is the end of the world.

Start first by assessing your life and finding the things that are working in this season. Celebrate those things, magnify them and make a point to give those areas more attention. What we focus on multiplies, so choose well!

2. What isn't working

Now it's time to get real and figure out what just isn't working so you can figure out how to problem solve and fill the gaps. The place to start is by identifying the things in your life that don't feel good or are resulting in less than stellar outcomes.

For example, if I judged whether I was getting enough sleep by my productivity, I wouldn't necessarily think there was an issue. But when I judge it based on my level of patience with my kids or overall ability to cope with life, it's much easier to notice that lack of sleep is causing issues.

Take the time regularly to assess what isn't working so you can address it and make the necessary adjustments.

3. What matters MOST?

Too often we sacrifice the things that matter most and kill ourself doing things that.....*drumroll*.....don't really matter! Now what kind of sense does that make??

Remember when you decided to become your own boss so you could be the one in charge and create something that allowed you to live in freedom? You get to do that in your LIFE, not just your business! Decide what's most important, and set your priorities up to reflect that.

At the end of the day, when you can answer (truthfully!) each of these questions, you'll be well on your way to making things better. Good self care begins with good self awareness....and all that's left to do is mix in a healthy dose of purposeful action.

There are tons of steps that you can take to improve your approach to caring for yourself, but here are a few ideas to get you started.....

1. Find support

For me, hiring a team has been my greatest form of self care because it has made the greatest impact on my ability to balance life and business better. For you, it may be factoring in more time with friends, or getting yourself into therapy or joining a new fitness class. Whatever it may be, make sure that you feel supported, so that while you try to care for yourself well, others can come alongside and care for you too.

2. Let things go

Sometimes the best self care starts with letting things go because they aren't sustainable or the things that matter most. It might be scary, but don't let fear keep you stuck in places that aren't good for you. Be realistic about the season you're in, and go back to your answers to the questions above when you need direction about what to keep and what to let go.

3. Set boundaries

Along with letting things go, it's super important to learn how and when to say no and set good boundaries (which, admittedly, I stink at!) And it's not just about setting boundaries for yourself - it's about setting boundaries with others too. How you treat yourself is how you will train others to treat you.

Bottom line: you are WORTH taking care of, and in order to thrive as a person and a CEO, you need to start taking better care of yourself TODAY. It can feel easier to continue to self sabotage rather than be honest with yourself and create better habits, but you will inevitably burn out and be totally useless to yourself and everyone else. And you were made for so much more than that.

Referenced in the Show:

• Fringe & Fitness Water Bottle

• Kelsey Van Kirk

• Allie Casazza

• The Purposeful Home Podcast

• Boss Mom Retreat

(Just FYI, some of these links may be affiliate links, which means if you make a purchase using the links I may receive some love in return!)

Sponsor Spotlight: Thinkific

You all know just how much I love online courses and think that anyone with knowledge or expertise in an area should take that knowledge and turn it into a resource to share with others.

That's why I'm SO pumped to share Thinkific with you, the online course platform that I use and love for all Boss Mom courses.

Thinkific is dedicated to helping businesses grow through online education, and helping you easily create, market and sell online courses. This easy to use, all-inclusive resource will change your life - seriously.

Go check out boss-mom.com/thinkific to learn more and try Thinkific FREE for 1 month.

Connect with Dana & NJ

• Dana: Instagram / Boss Mom Facebook Community (her total happy place)
• NJ : Website / Instagram (her total happy place)

We love hearing from you!

If you've got a question about today's episode or want to leave us some inbox love, you can email us at hello@boss-mom.com. Or, you can always find Dana hanging out in her happy place, the Boss Mom Facebook Community.

We would also LOVE it if you'd leave a podcast rating or review for us on iTunes! We know it can be kind of tricky to figure out, so here are a few step-by-step instructions on how to leave an iTunes rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad.

1. Launch Apple's Podcast app.
2. Tap the Search tab.
3. Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review.
4. Tap the blue Search key at the bottom right.
5. Tap the album art for the podcast.
6. Tap the Reviews tab.
7. Tap Write a Review at the bottom.
8. Enter your iTunes password to login.
9. Tap the Stars to leave a rating.
10. Enter title text and content to leave a review.
11. Tap Send.