FamilyLife Today® When Grief Resurfaces: Ron and Nan Deal
Feb 27, 2026
Nan Deal, author and speaker who endured long-term grief after losing her son. Ron Deal, blended-family ministry leader and author who helps families navigate loss and marriage strain. They discuss why lament is biblical and vital. They explore resurging grief at milestones, how churches often silence sorrow, and practical ways couples and parents create space for honest grieving.
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Western Mastery Mindset Hides Ongoing Grief
- Western culture treats grief as a problem to master rather than an ongoing part of life.
- Ron says the church adopted that mastery mindset despite Scripture being full of lament, creating pressure to 'get over' loss.
Absorbing Loss Into Life After Connor
- Nan describes absorbing her son Connor's death into life rather than getting over it.
- She quotes Jerry Sittser: sorrow 'took up permanent residence' and enlarged her soul after losing a child.
Loss Acts Like An Earthquake With Aftershocks
- Major losses create an 'earthquake' with recurring aftershocks that ripple through life.
- Ron uses Connor's death as an earthquake example; aftershocks include anniversaries, grandchildren, and milestone events.
