Trauma Is Valid And True But It's Not Your Fault

— "How did I get here?" This question arises after the realization that the person you have spent a substantial amount of time with may be a narcissist. "How could this happen? How did I not see? How did I allow this for so long?" Do any of these questions sound familiar? They probably do because they are all a part of the beginning process of healing yourself from this trauma. What I am here to tell you is that toxic and narcissistic people enter our lives because we have unhealed trauma wounds that can be manipulated. These wounds are often unknown to us, but very known to a skilled narcissist. Easily manipulated using their tried and true techniques- love bombing, valuing and devaluing, shelving, gaslighting, stonewalling, etc. I want to make this very clear- this abuse and trauma is NOT YOUR FAULT. You did not ask for this, nor did you actively and consciously invite this into your life. The shadow (unconscious) side of you left a door open that the narcissist found. Trauma presents itself in so many ways, but a major way it presents is in the core beliefs of ourselves and the world around us. Core beliefs are established in childhood and after traumatic events. Trauma can only be characterized by an event(s) that was unsettling and caused maladaptive responses. There is no trauma gatekeeping here – your trauma is valid and true." — writes Courtney

Valeria interviews Courtney Loyola — she is the owner of Onyx Counseling and Wellness Center, and a trauma therapist specializing in narcissistic abuse recovery, dissociation, and complex trauma.

She uses a multi-dimensional approach to therapy, allowing for total healing and wellness. Her approach to treating trauma is a 'root based' approach, focusing on deeply ingrained patterns that keep us stuck in toxic and abusive cycles. These approaches are: EMDR, CBT, Shadow Work and Somatic Experiencing.

To learn more about Courtney Loyola and her work, please visit: onyxcounselingandwellness.com

— This podcast is a quest for well-being, a quest for a meaningful life through the exploration of fundamental truths, enlightening ideas, insights on physical, mental, and spiritual health. The inspiration is Love. The aspiration is to awaken new ways of thinking that can lead us to a new way of being, being well.