Raising Boys & Girls Episode 371: Capable the Middle School Years with David and Sissy
Apr 30, 2026
Middle school as a hidden training ground for independence and resilience. The loss of in-person time to screens and how that stalls social skills. Friendship is a practice — initiating, repairing, tolerating awkwardness. Ways to shift kids outward through chores, service, mentors, and unplugged outdoor practice. Practical steps to give preteens responsibility, healthy voices, and manageable discomfort.
AI Snips
Chapters
Books
Transcript
Episode notes
Boys Default To Passive Screen Parallel Play
- Boys often default to screen-based parallel play (gaming, YouTube) that provides stimulation without effort.
- David Thomas links dopamine-driven platforms to reduced motivation for effortful, skill-building tasks in adolescents.
Self Focus Is Normal Identity Work
- Early adolescence is developmentally self-focused (the "narcissistic years") as identity forms, not primarily selfishness.
- Sissy Goff explains this includes imaginary audience thinking and heightened self-consciousness amplified by social media.
Online Voices Are Reshaping Masculinity
- Harmful online cultural voices (the manosphere) are influencing boys' views of masculinity and relationships.
- David Thomas warns these louder voices can redefine strength and teach disrespectful behavior toward women.
