54. Combating Burnout: Work Through Perfectionism, Avoid the Comparison Trap and Lead a Mentally Healthier Life with Elisheva Liss, LMFT

Hi everyone! Welcome back to another episode of The Chai on Life Podcast. I’m Alex Segal and today, I have Elisheva Liss, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist on the show. 

Elisheva works with individuals and couples to help improve their quality of life and relationships — most commonly treating depression, anxiety, relationship problems and anything dealing with intimacy. She has a collaborative approach, which means she looks at her work as a partnership with each client.

In this episode, we basically have a mini (or honestly, extended) therapy session about a lot of common issues women may be dealing with in the religious community, outside of it and in the unique time we’re living in.

As frum Jewish women, we live a beautiful life with holy values. We plan and often host Shabbat meals every week, opening our homes to those who need it. We bake challah, daven, say Tehillim, try to do chesed when we can, often work outside of the home, raise children, try to be a giving and loving wife, find time to learn and grow as people, find time for our own wellbeing and self-care with exercise, preparing healthy meals, maybe even our own therapy, we prepare simchas for our families, make time for friends to nourish ourselves and focus on what’s going on in their lives, and so much more — the list goes on.

Even just crafting this list — which I’m sure is still missing a lot — shows me just how much we may have on our plates at any given time. So especially when you lean more to the overachieving, perfectionist side of the mental health spectrum, it can often feel like you’re not measuring up. We are taught that Hashem gives us time to partner with Hashem in this world, and the worst feeling is to feel like we’re not utilizing that potential. How do we know when it’s enough? How do we feel okay with just not being able to do it all?

So I brought on Elisheva Liss to help me work through this concept. She is a beautiful, well-spoken therapist who actually has her own book called “Find Your Horizon of Healthy Thinking: Hack Your Thoughts and Improve Your Mood” which really was a perfect match for this topic. In our conversation, we speak about the pressures frum women face today, how to feel more comfortable with where we’re at in this exact moment and how to use our brains to develop a healthier way of thinking and honestly, enjoy the lives that we’re leading.

Here, the books she shares in the episode:

168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think by Laura Vanderkam

The Rhythm of Life: Living Every Day with Passion and Purpose by Matthew Kelly

Slowing Down to the Speed of Life — by Richard Carlson and Joseph Bailey

Bittersweet by Susan Cain

Follow Elisheva on Instagram here.

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