How I’ve Made Women Feel Unsafe

In this episode, I walk through my past relationships and take ownership of the ways I’ve been unsafe.

I share specific moments - steamrolling my ex-wife with logic instead of empathy, making subtle body comments that landed harder than I understood, ending relationships abruptly, and moving on too quickly after a breakup. At the time, I justified a lot of it. Looking back, I see the impact.

I also talk about asking my current partner to tell me how I’ve made her feel unsafe over the past eight years. I held her, promised not to defend myself, and listened.

And I cried.

This isn’t about shame. It’s about ownership.

If you’re a man listening, the question isn’t “Am I a good guy?”It’s: Where have I been unsafe — and what would it mean to do better?

🎙️ Host Links:

📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

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