Raising Kids with Life Skills for Successful Independence with Katie Kimball: Ep 218

You can listen wherever you get your podcasts or check out the fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.

In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I speak with Katie Kimball of Raising Healthy Families. We discussed getting kids in the kitchen and getting them to love cooking, raising teenagers and why they are wonderful, managing screens at different ages, and what kind of skills kids need to become independent, well-rounded and self-sufficient once they leave our homes.

Make sure to check out Katie’s course Teens Cook Real Food!

**If you’d like an ad-free version of the podcast, consider becoming a supporter on Substack! > > If you already ARE a supporter, the ad-free version is waiting for you in the Substack app or you can enter the private feed URL in the podcast player of your choice.

Know someone who might appreciate this episode? Share it with them!

We talk about:

* [00:00] Introduction to the episode and guest Katie Kimball; overview of topics (cooking, teens, life skills, screens)

* [00:01] Katie’s background: former teacher, mom of four, and how her work evolved into teaching kids and teens to cook

* [00:04] Why the teen years are actually great; what teens need developmentally (agency and autonomy)

* [00:08] Beneficial risk and safe failure; how building competence early reduces anxiety later

* [00:10] Getting kids into cooking: start small, build confidence, and let them cook food they enjoy

* [00:16] Cooking as a life skill: budgeting, independence, and preparing for adulthood

* [00:21] Screen time: focusing on quality (consumptive vs. creative vs. social) instead of just limits

* [00:25] Practical screen strategies used in Katie’s family

* [00:28] Motivating teens to cook: future-casting and real-life relevance (first apartment, food costs)

* [00:33] Teens Cook Real Food course: what it teaches and why Katie created it

* [00:37] Fun foods teens love making (pizza, tacos)

* [00:39] Where to find Katie and closing reflections

Resources mentioned in this episode:

* Teens Cook Real Food Course https://raisinghealthyfamilies.com/PeacefulParenting

* Evelyn & Bobbie bras: https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/bra

* Yoto Screen Free Audio Book Player https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/yoto

* The Peaceful Parenting Membership https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/membership

* How to Stop Fighting About Video Games with Scott Novis: Episode 201 https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/how-to-stop-fighting-about-video-games-with-scott-novis-episode-201/

Connect with Sarah Rosensweet:

* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahrosensweet/

* Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/peacefulparentingfreegroup

* YouTube: Peaceful Parenting with Sarah Rosensweet @peacefulparentingwithsarah4194

* Website: https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com

* Join us on Substack: https://substack.com/@sarahrosensweet

* Newsletter: https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/newsletter

* Book a short consult or coaching session call: https://book-with-sarah-rosensweet.as.me/schedule.php

xx Sarah and Corey

Your peaceful parenting team-

click here for a free short consult or a coaching session

Visit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!

>> Please support us!!! Please consider becoming a supporter to help support our free content, including The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, our free parenting support Facebook group, and our weekly parenting emails, “Weekend Reflections” and “Weekend Support” - plus our Flourish With Your Complex Child Summit (coming back in the summer for the 3rd year!) All of this free support for you takes a lot of time and energy from me and my team. If it has been helpful or meaningful for you, your support would help us to continue to provide support for free, for you and for others.

In addition to knowing you are supporting our mission to support parents and children, you get the podcast ad free and access to a monthly ‘ask me anything’ session.

Our sponsors:

YOTO: YOTO is a screen free audio book player that lets your kids listen to audiobooks, music, podcasts and more without screens, and without being connected to the internet. No one listening or watching and they can’t go where you don’t want them to go and they aren’t watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HERE

Evelyn & Bobbie bras: If underwires make you want to rip your bra off by noon, Evelyn & Bobbie is for you. These bras are wire-free, ultra-soft, and seriously supportive—designed to hold you comfortably all day without pinching, poking, or constant adjusting. Check them out HERE

Podcast Transcript:

Sarah: Hi everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast. Today’s guest is Katie Kimball of Raising Healthy Families. She has been helping parents feed their kids and, more recently—in the past few years—teach their kids to cook. We had a great conversation about getting kids in the kitchen and getting them to love cooking, and also about raising teenagers and what kind of skills kids need to become independent. We also talked about screens, because any parent of a teenager who also supports other parents—I want to hear about what they do with getting kids to be less screen-focused and screen-dependent.

Katie had some great tips in all of these areas, including cooking, feeding our families, and screens. In some ways, we’re just talking about how do we raise kids who are independent, well-rounded, and have the skills they need to live independently—and those things all come into play.

I hope that you really enjoy this conversation with Katie as much as I did. Let’s meet Katie.

Hi, Katie. Welcome to the podcast.

Katie: Thank you so much, Sarah. I’m honored to talk to your audience.

Sarah: I’m so excited to talk to you about teenagers, raising teenagers, life skills, screens—there are so many things to dive into. You seem like a very multifaceted person with all these different interests. Tell us about who you are and what you do.

Katie: I do have a little bit of a squirrel brain, so I’m constantly doing something new in business. That means I can talk about a lot of things. I’ve been at the parenting game for 20 years and in the online business world for 17. I’m a teacher by trade and a teacher by heart, but I only taught in the classroom for about two years before I had my kids. I thought, “I can’t do both really, really well,” so I chose the family, left the classroom, and came home.

But my brain was always in teacher mode. As I was navigating the path and the journey of, “How do I feed these tiny humans?”—where every bite counts so much—I was really walking that real-food journey and spending a lot of time at the cutting board. My brain was always going, “How can I help other moms make this path easier?” I made so many mistakes. I burned so much food. There’s so much tension around how you balance your budget with your time, with the nutrition, and with all the conflicting information that’s flying at us.

So I felt like I wanted to stand in the middle of that chaos and tell moms, “Listen, there’s some stuff you can do that does it all—things that are healthy, save time, and save money.” That’s kind of where I started teaching online.

Then I shifted to kids’ cooking. For the last 10 years, I’ve been sort of the kids’ cooking cheerleader of the world, trying to get all kids in the kitchen and building confidence. It’s really been a journey since then. My kids currently are 20, 17, 14, and 11, so I’m in the thick of it.

Sarah: We have a very similar origin story: former teacher, then mom, and a brain that doesn’t want to stop working. I went with parent coaching, and you went with helping parents with food and cooking, so that’s exciting.

I can tell from what I’ve learned about you offline that you love teenagers—and I love teenagers too. We have people in the audience who have teenagers and also people who have littler kids. I think the people with littler kids are like, “I don’t want my kids to grow up. I’ve heard such bad things about teenagers.” What do you want people to know about teenagers? What are some things that you’ve learned as the mom of younger kids and then teens?

Katie: It’s such a devastating myth, Sarah, that teens are going to be the awful part of your parenting career—the time you’re not supposed to look forward to, the time you have to slog through, and it’s going to be so difficult.

It’s all difficult, right? Don’t let anyone tell you parenting’s easy—they’re lying. But it’s so worth it, and it’s so great. I love parenting teens. I love conversing with them at such a much higher level than talking to my 11-year-old, and I love watching what they can do. You see those glimpses of what they’ll be like when they’re a dad, or when they’re running around an office, or managing people. It’s incredible to be so close. It’s like the graduation of parenting. It’s exciting.

That’s what I would want to tell parents of kids younger than teens: look forward to it.

I do think there are some things you can do to prepare for adolescence and to make it smoother for everyone. I like to talk about what teens need. We want to parent from a place of what teens developmentally need, and they really need agency and autonomy at that stage. They’re developmentally wired to be pushing away—to be starting to make the break with their adults, with that generation that we are in. Sometimes that’s really painful as the grown-up. It almost feels like they’re trying to hurt us, but what they’re really doing is trying to push us away so it doesn’t hurt them so badly when they know they need to leave.

As parents, it helps to sit with the knowledge that this is not personal. They do not hate me. They’re attempting to figure out how to sever this relationship. So what can we do to allow them to do that so they don’t have to use a knife? If we can allow them to walk far enough away from us and still be a safe haven they can come home to, the relationship doesn’t have to be severed. It just gets more distant and longer apart.

When they want independence and autonomy, we need to make sure we give it to them. My tip for parents of younger kids is that, especially around ages 8, 10, 11—depending on maturity level—where can we start providing some agency? My team will say, “Katie, don’t say agency. It sounds like you’re talking about the FBI or some government letters.” But it’s the best word, because agency isn’t just choices—it’s choices plus control, plus competence to be able to make change in your own life, in your own environment.

We can’t have agency unless we give our kids skills to actually be able to do something. The choice between “Do you want the red cup or the blue cup?” is for toddlers. That’s not going to be enough once they’re in the stage where their mind is growing and they can critically think. We want to give our kids skills, responsibilities, choices, and some ownership over their lives. That starts in upper elementary school, and it gets bigger and bigger.

Sarah: I would argue it starts even earlier. Toddlers can make the red cup or blue cup choice, and as they keep going, you can give them more and more agency.

One of my favorite parenting people, Alfie Kohn, says that kids should have the power to make decisions that make us gulp a little bit.

Katie: Oh, I love that.

Sarah: I think that’s true. We come up against our own anxiety too: What if they make the wrong decision? But it’s incremental, so the decisions become bigger and bigger as they get older. That’s how they practice being able to make good decisions—through experience.

Katie: We know statistically that anxiety right now is spiking massively that first year out of high school—where young adults are heading into the world, either to university or for a first job. One theory—one I would get behind—is that everything of adulthood, all the responsibilities, are crashing on their shoulders at once, and they haven’t experienced that level of responsibility. Sometimes they haven’t had opportunities to fail safely, and they don’t know what to do.

Sometimes we think we’re pushing problems out of their way and that it’s helpful, but we’re really creating bigger problems down the road. So with that long-term perspective, I love that “gulp.” We’ve got to let them try and fail and hold back.

Sarah: Do you know Lenore Skenazy, who started the Free Range Kids movement? She has a TED Talk that came out recently where she talks about how she attributes the rise in anxiety to the fact that kids never have any unwatched time by adults. They never have room and space to figure out their own way to make things work. Of course, I don’t think anyone’s saying we should inappropriately not supervise our kids, but they need more freedom. If they don’t have freedom to figure things out on their own, that’s where the anxiety comes in.

Katie: For sure. When Lenore and I have interacted, she likes to call it “beneficial risk.” Climbing the tree is the classic example, but because I love to get kids and teens in the kitchen, we got to talk about the beneficial risk of using sharp knives and playing with fire—literally returning to our ancestral roots.

The way I see it, and the way I’ve seen it played out in my own home: I taught my now 20-year-old to use a chef’s knife at age 10. He built competency. He took risks. He discovered how he wanted to navigate in the kitchen. So when he was 15 and getting his driver’s permit, I felt pretty peaceful. I thought, “He’s so mature. I’ve seen him make good decisions. He’s practiced taking beneficial risks.”

I felt confident handing him the driver’s license. When it came time for him to get a cell phone—first a kid-safe phone and then a fully unlocked smartphone—I felt like we had been building up to it because of our work in the kitchen. I think he did better than his peers with taking appropriate risks driving a car and having a smartphone in his pocket, because he’d had practice.

Sarah: And that was in the kitchen for your family.

Katie: Yes.

Sarah: Cooking is one of my special interests. I love to cook. My kids love baking. They were never that interested in cooking, although they all can cook and they do cook for themselves. My 21-year-old who has his own apartment has started sending me pictures of the food that he makes. He made some baked chicken thighs with mushrooms the other day, and a green salad. He sent me a picture and I said to my daughter, “Do you want to see a picture of Asa’s chicken?” And she said, “Asa got a chicken?” She was picturing it running around. We all laughed so hard because I wouldn’t put it past him, honestly.

When my kids were younger, they weren’t that interested. Maybe I could have gotten them more interested in the cooking part, but I always felt like that was my thing. What tips do you have—for any ages—about how to get kids interested and involved? You said your son was using a chef’s knife at age 10. What are some ways to involve kids and get them interested in that skill?

Katie: Knives are a great start because they’re scary and they’re fun—especially for guys. You get to use something dangerous. My second son, John, asked to learn to use a chef’s knife, so he learned to use a sharp paring knife at age four and asked to level up to a chef’s knife at age seven.

For parents of kids who are still in that intrinsic motivation phase—“I want to help”—the good news is you don’t have to try. You just have to say yes. You just have to figure out what can my brain handle letting this little person do in the kitchen. If it’s “I’m going to teach them to measure a teaspoon of salt,” then do it. Don’t let cooking feel like this big to-do list item. It’s just one teaspoon of salt.

Can I teach them to crack an egg? Can I teach them to flip a pancake? Think of it as one little skill at a time. That’s what cooking is: building blocks. If it’s something like measuring, you don’t have to have them in your elbow room. You can send them to the table; they can have a little spill bowl. Then you can build their motivation by complimenting the meal: “This meal tastes perfect. I think it’s the oregano—who measured the oregano?” That’s how we treat little ones.

The medium-sized ones are a little tougher, and teens are tougher yet. For the medium-sized ones, the best way to get them involved is to create a chance for authentic praise that comes from outside the family—meaning it’s not you or your co-parent; it’s some other adult. If you’re going to a party or a potluck, or you’re having people over, figure out how to get that kid involved in one recipe. Then you say to the other adults, “Guess who made the guacamole?” That was our thing—our kids always made the guac when they were little. And other adults say, “What? Paul made the guacamole? That’s amazing. This is awesome.” The 10-year-old sees that and blooms with pride. It makes them more excited to come back in the kitchen, feel more of that, and build more competency.

Sarah: I love that. That’s an invitation, and then it makes them want to do more because it feels good. We talk about that in peaceful parenting too: a nice invitation and then it becomes a prosocial behavior you want to do more of.

I started cooking because I wanted to make food that I liked. I’m old enough that I took Home Ec in middle school, and it was my favorite class. I think about my Home Ec teacher, Mrs. Flanagan, my whole adult life because I learned more from her that I still use than from any other teacher. I remember figuring out how to make deep-fried egg rolls in grade seven because I loved egg rolls. You couldn’t just buy frozen egg rolls then. So I think food that kids like can be a good way in. Is that something you find too?

Katie: One hundred percent. If you’re cooking things they don’t like, you get the pushback: “Mom, I don’t like…” So it’s like, “Okay, I would love to eat your meal. What do you want to eat?” And it’s not, “Tell me what you want and I’ll cook it.” If you meal plan, you get to make all the choices.

My kids have been interviewed, and people often ask, “What’s your favorite thing about knowing how to cook?” My kids have gotten pretty good at saying, “We get to cook what we like.” It’s super motivating.

Sarah: When I was growing up, my sister and I each had to make dinner one night a week starting when I was in grade five and she was in grade three. We could make anything we wanted, including boxed Kraft Dinner. I can’t remember what else we made at that young age, but it was definitely, “You are cooking dinner, and you get to make whatever you want.”

Katie: Why didn’t you do that with your own kids, out of curiosity?

Sarah: It just seemed like it would take too much organization. I think we tried it a couple times. Organization is not my strong suit. Often dinner at our house—there were lots of nights where people had cereal or eggs or different things for dinner. I love to cook, but I like to cook when the urge hits me and I have a recipe I want to try. I’m not seven nights a week making a lovely dinner.

Also, dinner was often quite late at my house because things always take longer than I think. I’d start at six, thinking it would take an hour, and it would be 8:30 by the time dinner was ready. I remember one night my middle son was pouring himself cereal at 6:30. I said, “Why are you having cereal? Dinner’s almost ready.” He said, “Mom, it’s only 6:30.” He expected it later—that’s the time normal people eat dinner.

My kids have a lot of freedom, but nobody was particularly interested in cooking. And, to be honest, it felt a bit too early as a responsibility when my sister and I had to do it. Even though I’m glad now that I had those early experiences, it was wanting to make egg rolls that made me into a cook more than being assigned dinner in grade five.

Katie: That push and pull of how we were parented and how we apply it now is so hard.

Sarah: Yes.

Katie: I’m thinking of an encouraging story from one of the families who’s done our brand-new Teens Cook Real Food. The mom said it was kind of wild: here they were cooking all this real food and it felt intensive. Over the years she’d slid more into buying processed foods, and through the class, watching her teens go through it, she realized, “Oh my gosh, it’s actually not as hard as I remember. I have to coach myself.” They shifted into cooking with more real ingredients, and it wasn’t that hard—especially doing it together.

Sarah: It’s not that hard. And you hear in the news that people are eating a lot of fast food and processed food. I’m not anti-fast food or processed food, but you don’t want that to be the only thing you’re eating. It’s actually really easy to cook some chicken and rice and broccoli, but you have to know how. That’s why it’s so sad Home Ec has gone by the wayside. And honestly, a whole chicken, some rice, and broccoli is going to be way cheaper than McDonald’s for a family of four. Cooking like that is cheaper, not very hard, and healthier than eating a lot of fast food or processed food.

Katie: Conversations in the kitchen and learning to cook—it’s kind of the gateway life skill, because you end up with conversations about finances and budgeting and communication and thinking of others. So many life skills open up because you’re cooking.

You just brought up food budget—that could be a great half-hour conversation with a 16- or 17-year-old: “You won’t have infinite money in a couple years when you move out. You’ll have to think about where you spend that money.” It’s powerful for kids to start thinking about what it will be like in their first apartment and how they’ll spend their time and money.

Sarah: My oldest son is a musician, and he’s really rubbing his pennies together. He told me he makes a lot of soups and stews. He’ll make one and live off it for a couple days. He doesn’t follow a recipe—he makes it up. That’s great, because you can have a pretty budget-friendly grocery shop.

I also don’t want to diss anyone who’s trying to keep it all together and, for them, stopping by McDonald’s is the only viable option at this moment. No judgment if you’re listening and can’t imagine having the capacity to cook chicken and rice and broccoli. Maybe someday, or maybe one day a week on the weekend, if you have more time and energy.

Katie: The way I explain it to teens is that learning to cook and having the skills gives you freedom and choices. If you don’t have the skills at all, you’re shackled by convenience foods or fast food or DoorDash. But if you at least have the skills, you have many more choices. Teens want agency, autonomy, and freedom, so I speak that into their lives. Ideally, the younger you build the skills, the more time you have to practice, gain experience, and get better.

There’s no way your older son could have been making up soups out of his head the first month he ever touched chicken—maybe he’s a musician, so maybe he could apply the blues scale to cooking quickly—but most people can’t.

Sarah: As we’re speaking, I’m reflecting that my kids probably did get a lot of cooking instruction because we were together all the time. They would watch me and they’d do the standing on a chair and cutting things and stirring things. It just wasn’t super organized.

That’s why I’m so glad you have courses that can help people learn how to teach their children or have their kids learn on their own.

I promised we would talk about screens. I’m really curious. It sounds like your kids have a lot of life skills and pretty full lives. Something I get asked all the time is: with teens and screens, how do you avoid “my kid is on their phone or video games for six or seven hours a day”? What did you do in your family, and what thoughts might help other people?

Katie: Absolutely. Parenting is always hard. It’s an ongoing battle. I think I’m staying on the right side of the numbers, if there are numbers. I feel like I’m launching kids into the world who aren’t addicted to their phones. That’s a score, and it’s tough because I work on screens. I’m telling parents, “Buy products to put your kids on screen,” so it’s like, “Wait.”

I don’t look at screens as a dichotomy of good or bad, but as: how do we talk to our kids about the quality of their time on screens?

Back in 2020, when the world shut down, my oldest, Paul, was a freshman. His freshman year got cut short. He went weeks with zero contact with friends, and he fell into a ton of YouTube time and some video games. We thought, “This is an unprecedented time, but we can’t let bad habits completely take over.”

We sat down with him and said, “Listen, there are different kinds of screen time.” We qualified them as consumptive—everything is coming out of the screen at you—creative—you’re making something—and communicative—you’re socializing with other people.

We asked him what ways he uses screens. We made a chart on a piece of paper and had him categorize his screen time. Then we asked what he thought he wanted his percentage of screen time to be in those areas—without evaluating his actual time yet. He assigned those times, and then we had him pay attention to what reality was. Reality was 90 to 95% consumptive. It was an amazing lightbulb moment. He realized that to be an agent of his own screen time, he had to make intentional choices.

He started playing video games with a buddy through the headphones. That change completely changed his demeanor. That was a tough time.

So that’s the basis of our conversation: what kind of screen time are you having?

For my 11-year-old, he still has minute limits: he sets a timer and stops himself. But if he’s playing a game with someone, he gets double the time. That’s a quantitative way to show him it’s more valuable to be with someone than by yourself on a screen. A pretty simple rule.

We’ll also say things like, “People over screens.” If a buddy comes over and you’re playing a video game, your friend is at the door.

That’s also what I talk to parents about with our classes: this isn’t fully consumptive screen time. We highly edit things. We try to keep it engaging and fun so they’re on for a set number of minutes and then off, getting their fingers dirty and getting into the real world. We keep their brains and hands engaged beyond the screen. The only way I can get a chef into your home is through the screen—or you pay a thousand dollars.

We can see our screen time as really high quality if we make the right choices. It’s got to be roundabout 10, 11, 12: pulling kids into the conversation about how we think about this time.

Sarah: I love that. It sounds like you were giving your kids tools to look at their own screen time and how they felt about it, rather than you coming from on high and saying, “That’s enough. Get off.”

Katie: Trying.

Sarah: I approach it similarly, though not as organized. I did have limits for my daughter. My sons were older when screens became ubiquitous. For my daughter, we had a two-hour limit on her phone that didn’t include texting or anything social—just Instagram, YouTube, that kind of stuff. I think she appreciated it because she recognized it’s hard to turn it off.

We would also talk about, “What else are you doing today?” Have you gone outside? Have you moved your body? Have you done any reading? All the other things. And how much screen time do you think is reasonable? Variety is a favorite word around here.

Katie: Yes. So much so my 11-year-old will come to me and say, “I’ve played outside, I’ve read a book, my homework is done. Can I have some screen time?” He already knows what I’m going to ask. “Yes, Mom, I’ve had variety.” Then: “Okay, set a timer for 30 minutes.”

I have a 14-year-old freshman right now. He does not own a phone.

Sarah: Oh, wow. I love that.

Katie: In modern America, he knows the pathway to get a phone—and he doesn’t want one.

Sarah: That’s great. I hope we see that more and more. I worry about how much kids are on screens and how much less they’re talking to each other and doing things.

I had a guest on my podcast who’s a retired video game developer. His thing is how to not fight with your kid about video games. One thing he recommends is—even more than playing online with someone else—get them in the same room together. Then they can play more. He has different time rules if you’re playing in person with kids in your living room than if you’re playing alone or playing online with someone else.

Katie: Nice. Totally. My story was from COVID times.

Sarah: Yes, that wasn’t an option then. Someone I heard say the other day: “Can we just live in some unprecedented times, please?”

Katie: Yes, please.

Sarah: You mentioned the intrinsic motivation of somebody admiring their guacamole. What are your tips for kids—especially teens—who think they’re too busy or just super uninterested in cooking?

Katie: Teens are a tough species. Motivation is a dance. I really encourage parents to participate in future casting. Once they’re about 15, they’re old enough. Academically, they’re being future-casted all the time: “What are you going to be when you grow up?” They’re choosing courses based on university paths. But we need to future-cast about real life too.

Ask your 15-year-old: “Have you ever thought about what it’ll be like to be in your first apartment?” Maybe they haven’t. That helps reduce that first-year-out-of-home anxiety—to have imagined it. Then they might realize they have gaps. “Would you be interested in making sure you can cook some basic stuff for those first years? When you’re cooking at home, it’s my money you waste if you screw up.” That can be motivating. “I’m here to help.”

Sometimes it comes down to a dictate from above, which is not my favorite. Your sister and you were asked to cook at third and fifth grade. I agree that might be a little young for being assigned a full meal. We start around 12 in our house. But by high school, there’s really no reason—other than busy schedules. If they’re in a sport or extracurricular daily, that can be rough. So what could they do? Could they make a Sunday brunch? We come home from church every Sunday and my daughter—she’s 17, grade 12—she’s faster than I am now. She’ll have the eggs and sausage pretty much done. I’m like, “I’m going to go change out of my church clothes. Thanks.”

If we’re creative, there’s always some time and space. We have to eat three times a day. Sometimes it might be: “You’re old enough. It’s important as a member of this household to contribute. I’m willing to work with you on really busy weeks, but from now on, you need to cook on Saturday nights.” I don’t think that has to be a massive power struggle—especially with the future casting conversation. If you can get them to have a tiny bit of motivation—tiny bit of thinking of, “Why do I need this?”—and the idea of “If I cook, I get to make what I want,” and the budget.

Sarah: The budget too: if you’re living in your own apartment, how much do you think rent is? How much do you think you can eat for? It’s way more expensive to order out or get fast food than to cook your own food.

Katie: I feel so proud as a fellow mom of your son, Asa, for making soups and stuff. In Teens Cook Real Food, we teach how to make homemade bone broth by taking the carcass of a chicken. It’s a very traditional skill. On camera, I asked the girls who did it with me to help me figure out what their dollar-per-hour pay rate was for making that, compared to an equal quality you buy in the store. Bone broth at the quality we can make is very expensive—like $5 a cup.

They did the math and their hourly pay was over $70 an hour to make that bone broth. Then they have gallons of bone broth, and I call it the snowball effect: you have all this broth and you’re like, “I guess I’ll make soup.” Soup tends to be huge batches, you can freeze it, and it snowballs into many homemade, inexpensive, nourishing meals.

Sarah: I love that. You’ve mentioned your course a couple times—Teens Cook Real Food. I’m picturing that as your kids grew up, your teaching audience grew up too. Were there other reasons you wanted to teach teens how to cook?

Katie: Yes. We’ve had our kids’ cooking class for 10 years now. It just had its 10th birthday. The most often requested topic that’s not included in the kids’ class is meal planning and grocery shopping. It wasn’t something I felt like an eight-year-old needed.

For 10 years I had that seed of, “How can I incorporate those important skills of meal planning and grocery shopping?” Then my teens got older, and I thought, “I’ve told parents of teens that our kids’ cooking class will work for them, but it’s not enough. It wasn’t sufficient.”

It was so exciting to put this course together. Even just the thinking—the number of index cards I had on the floor with topics trying to figure out what a young adult needs in their first apartment, how to connect the skills, and how to make it engaging.

We ended up with eight teens I hired from my local community—some with cooking experience, some with literally none. We had on-camera accidents and everything. But they learned to cook in my kitchen, and it’s all recorded for your teens to learn from.

Sarah: I love that. What are some of the recipes that you teach in the course?

Katie: We have over 35. We spent a whole day with a chef. He started talking about flavor and how seasonings work, and he taught us the mother sauces—like a basic white sauce, both gluten-free and dairy-free, a couple ways to do that, and a basic red sauce, and a couple ways to do that.

My favorite cheeky segment title is “How to Boil Water.” We have a bunch of videos on how to boil water—meaning you can make pasta, rice, oatmeal, hard-boiled eggs, boiled potatoes. There’s a lot of stuff that goes in water.

Then we built on that with “How to Eat Your Vegetables.” We teach sautéing, steaming, and roasting. The first big recipe they learn is a basic sheet pan dinner. We use pre-cooked sausage and vegetables of your choice, seasonings of your choice. It’s one of those meals where you’re like, “I don’t need a recipe. I can just make this up and put it in the oven.”

Then, to go with pasta and red sauce, we teach homemade meatballs. We get them at the grill for steak and chicken and burgers. Of course we do French fries in a couple different ways.

Choice is a huge element of this course. If we teach something, we probably teach it in two or three or four different ways, so teens can adapt to preferences, food sensitivities, and anything like that.

We use the Instant Pot a lot in our “How to Eat Your Protein” segment. We do a pork roast and a beef roast and a whole chicken, and that broth I talked about, and we make a couple different soups with that.

Sarah: You almost make me feel like I haven’t had lunch yet.

Katie: I’m starving, actually.

Sarah: I’m quite an adventurous eater and cook, but I’m going to ask you about my two favorite foods—because they’re like a child’s favorite foods, but my favorite foods are pizza and tacos. Do you do anything with pizza and tacos in your course?

Katie: We do both pizza and tacos.

Sarah: Good!

Katie: Our chef taught us, with that homemade red sauce, to make homemade dough. He said, “I think we should teach them how to make a homemade brick oven and throw the pizzas into the oven.” Throwing means sliding the pizza off a pizza peel onto bricks in your oven. I was like, “We’re going to make such a mess,” but they did it. It’s awesome.

Then we tested it at home: can you just make this in a normal pizza pan? Yes, you can—don’t worry. You don’t have to buy bricks, but you can. Again, there are different ways.

Sarah: I think teenagers would love making pizza on bricks in the oven. For us we’re like, “That seems like so much work.” But teenagers are enthusiastic and creative and they have so much energy. They’re wonderful human beings. I can see how the brick oven pizza would be a great challenge for them.

Katie: It’s so fun. My kids, Paul and John—20 and 14—they’ve both done it at home. As adults we’re like, “It’s such a mess,” but we’re boring people. Teenagers are not boring. So yes—definitely pizza.

Sarah: That’s awesome. We’ll link to your course in the show notes. Before we let you go, where’s the best place for people to go and find out more about you and what you do?

Katie: Definitely: raisinghealthyfamilies.com/peacefulparenting. We’re going to make sure there’s always something about teens at that link—whether it’s a free preview of the course or a parenting workshop from me. There will always be something exciting for parents there.

Sarah: Amazing. It’s been such a pleasure. I thought maybe I didn’t do all this stuff, but considering how both of my sons who are independent cook for themselves all the time, I think I must have done okay—even if it was just by osmosis.

Katie: That’s the great thing about keeping your kids near you. That was your peaceful parenting: they were in the kitchen and they were there, as opposed to you booting them out of the kitchen. There are lots of ways.

Sarah: My daughter is an incredible baker. She makes the best chocolate chip cookies. I have this recipe for muffin-tin donuts that are amazing, and she’s a really great baker. She can find her way around a quesadilla, eggs, and ramen for herself. I think once she moves out, if she doesn’t have mom’s cooking anymore, she’ll probably also be able to cook.

Katie: Yes. And so many parents need that bridge. They’re like, “My kids love to make cookies. They bake, but they won’t shift to cooking.” I would hope that future-casting conversation could be a good bridge.

Sarah: Yeah. You can’t live on cookies—or you might think you can for a little while, but then you’d start to feel gross.

Katie: Exactly.

Sarah: Thanks a lot, Katie.

Katie: Thank you so much, Sarah.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sarahrosensweet.substack.com/subscribe