How to Stay Madly in Love During Conflict with Your Partner

Feb 1, 2026

Fabienne Annick, a sex, love and spirit coach who frames partnership as a mirror for healing. They explore conflict as a transformational portal. Short practices include naming feelings, somatic regulation, taking space with reassurance, and parts work. Stories of rekindled intimacy show how safety deepens desire and repair can deepen love.

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ANECDOTE

Burning Man Proposal And The Hidden Yes

Fabienne gave Jef a carved wooden box with a hidden 'yes' before his sunrise proposal at Burning Man.
The gesture revealed years of shared vision and emotional creativity that sealed their engagement.

INSIGHT

Blame Hides Nervous-System Threat

Fixating on the other person signals loss of embodied safety and avoids feeling your own threat.
Waiting for your partner to change hands your inner peace away and prolongs the loop.

ADVICE

Ask For Specific Support

Get granular: tell your partner specific actions that support you when you're activated.
Ask for small, concrete gestures (e.g., a squeeze, words) that soothe your inner part.

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Shownotes

Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist
Layla explains what she calls the 3% in a relationship
Why it's important to process challenges somatically using your bodies
The #1 question Layla asks herself when conflict arises
How to use conflict as a vehicle into a deeper level of connection
How a couple in their 70s went from roommates to intimacy, safety, and turn-on

Bio

Fabienne Annick is a Sex, Love & Spirit Coach who sees sexuality and partnership as profound mirrors for self-awareness and gateways to healing, growth, and magic.

Her work is deeply inspired by her own exploration of conscious relationship with her beloved husband, Jef.

Explore Fabienne's programs and coaching on her website and follow her on Instagram.

Jef weaves together integrative psychology and cognitive restructuring as an improvisational art form. He has served as a consultant, coach, speaker, healer, teacher, and high performance mentor for more than a decade.

A master level Shadow EFT practitioner who has innovated his own methodology, Jef's highest ideal is to model and help people influence energetic/emotional mastery with patterns of thought that create internal harmonization.

His vision is one of stabilization and healing which continuously disperses itself throughout the collective psyche, while recognizing, honoring, and learning from the template of Union, alongside with his wife Fabienne, as their most sacred and valuable endeavor.

Discover Jef's powerful work on his website and follow him on Instagram.

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Timestamps 00:00:57 - Guest introduction

00:02:59 - Layla explains what she calls the 3% in a relationship

00:04:33 - Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist

00:06:06 - Fabi and Jef share their epic engagement story

00:14:53 - How sovereignty and self-responsibility show up in conflict

00:19:16 - Why your relationship with yourself impacts your partner's ability to relate to you

00:23:03 - The value of processing things individually before coming together as a couple

00:24:15 - Keys to processing challenges in connection somatically with your bodies

00:26:14 - Second ad: MOOD Sex Magic (clean, scientifically-backed aphrodisiac supplement)

00:28:07 - Layla's top question for herself when conflict arises

00:35:47 - How to practice self-responsibility during relational challenges

00:47:04 - Fabi shares how she uses parts work to process high emotional intensity

00:55:03 - We all still think we're the only one who is broken and flawed

00:57:37 - Layla share the 5 core emotions that feel the most vulnerable for her in conflict

01:03:11 - 95% of humanity's problems come from the unwillingness to feel pain

01:07:00 - How to use conflict as a vehicle into a deeper level of connection

01:13:24 - What it looks like to walk through life as a perpetual student

01:17:06 - Fabi shares an experience of conflict with Jef that put her in full denial

01:24:55 - A vulnerable moment that made Jef fall more in love with Fabi

01:31:44 - Jef shares how a couple in their 70s went from roommates to safety and turn-on

01:39:08 - Conclusion