DadAwesome 187 | Jon Tyson on Skillful Manhood, Capturing First Moments & The Intentional Father
Aug 19, 2021
Jon Tyson, NYC pastor and author of The Intentional Father, offers practical counsel on forming courageous, skilled sons. He talks about shifting to adult friendship with kids. He breaks down minimal versus skillful manhood. He maps intentional first moments, hands-on skill transfer, and building brotherhood and boldness through deliberate practices.
46:15
Teach Minimal Then Skillful Manhood
- Teach minimal manhood basics first, then layer skillful manhood as your child develops.
- Use simple rules (e.g., money split 10/10/10/70) to create durable habits early.
Premeditate Key Firsts
- Map out 'firsts' and prepare for them intentionally rather than reacting.
- Make life-skills moments memorable: prep for interviews, read essays together, and set up retirement accounts at the first paycheck.
First Paycheck Ritual
- When his son got his first job Jon made him read money books and an essay about vocation.
- They prayed over the first paycheck and set up Roth IRA and automatic savings at the bank together.
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Intro
00:00 • 4min
Shifting to Adult Friendship with Kids
03:40 • 44sec
Why Intentional Fatherhood Matters Now
04:24 • 6min
Minimal Manhood and Skillful Manhood
09:57 • 4min
Teeing Up First Moments Intentionally
13:36 • 8min
Teaching Skills vs. Empty Encouragement
21:40 • 1min
People Skills and Codifying Charisma
22:59 • 5min
Men Need a Cause
28:01 • 3min
Brotherhood: Circles of Influence & Intimacy
31:29 • 2min
Second–Fifth Grade Priorities
33:54 • 1min
Dangerous Kids Club and Boldness Formation
35:13 • 3min
The Power of a Deliberate Primal Path
38:38 • 4min
Encouragement: You Can Do This
42:19 • 2min
Outro
44:33 • 1min
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Your Money Counts
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The steps include saving a $1,000 emergency fund, using the debt-snowball method to pay off debts, saving a 3-6 month emergency fund, investing for retirement, saving for children's college, paying off the home mortgage, and building wealth.
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The Intentional Father
A Practical Guide to Raising Sons of Courage and Character
Jon Tyson
dadAWESOME
We're on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We're passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God's awesomeness. | YouTube | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
Jon Tyson
Jon Tyson is a New York City based Pastor and Author. Originally from Adelaide Australia, Jon moved to the United States over two decades ago with a passion to seek and cultivate renewal in the Western Church. He is the author of multiple books including his latest book, The Intentional Father.
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Show Notes:
- Text "DAD" to 651-370-8618 to join the dadAWESOME Nudge to becoming an intentional dad
- FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS Sponsors: Aleph Holdings, Alpha & Omega Wealth Strategies, Substance Church, River Valley Church
- The Intentional Father book
- 4:29 - How the relationship with his kids has changed to building adult friendships with his kids.
- 5:21 - Weekly family meetings
- 7:33 - "Raising a son is real work, but we have to get this right, because if we don't teach our sons, the world will. If we don't teach our sons about women pornography will if we don't teach our sons about friendship, they'll live a life of loneliness. If we don't teach our sons about leadership, they'll be followers all their lives. Being a father is not about efficiency. It's about discipleship. Father is not about time management. It's about heart development."
- 9:37 - "A lot of good involved dads, but an intentional dad that goes that step further to consciously ask who is my kid? What at what time of history did they live in? What am I responsible to sort of give them that's going to tee them up for their future."
- 10:58 - Minimal manhood and skillful manhood
- 17:00 - Leaning into the "firsts" and making them intentional moments
- 17:22 - Quote from Jim Rowan - "Life is not measured by the length of our days, but by the intensity and frequency of beautiful moments ."
- 17:54 - The Power of Moments book 19:35 - Books/articles he had his son read when he got his first job: Your Money Counts; Total Money Makeover. ESSAY: Why Work by Dorothy Sayers
- 23:41- Ken Blanchard's One Minute Manager
- 24:05 - Exponential by Dave Ferguson
- 24:07 - "It's just the process of how to give away what you have and make sure it shows up in somebody else's life. It takes more time to do that. It takes a lot of time, but when you see the joy of somebody who owns something that's literally gone from your life into their life, they now have a deposit and this deposit can be given to somebody else's life. That, to me, is one of the greatest things you can experience as a dad."
- 25:16 - "I think this is the key here, because so often our culture is built on charisma and charisma is like that person possesses the magical gifts that none of us have. And therefore, it produces celebrity culture and consumerism. But when you codify the gift and you can show somebody, here's what I'm doing that is working, you then impart it to them and it creates contributors in confidence rather than consumption."
- 25:59 - Shop Class as Soul-craft
- 28:15 - "Men need a cause. A cause is bigger than a vision, more expansive than a strategy, and more long lasting than a season. It's larger than a fight." - From The Intentional Father
- 30:09 - On the power of a cause in men: "I basically want to infuse that a man has strength and that he should utilize it in a great fight. But the difference is it needs to be in the real world as opposed to just accomplishment. And it needs to be for the sake of others. It's never your strength. It's never to oppress others for self gratification. It is always to lift the oppressed for the sake of the other."
- 30:52 - "And a part of it is to try and help young men realize, don't give you a vigor and your strength to wasted things because you have no idea how you could participate in God's great cause if you channel them for the sake of others."
- 32:14 - Wisdom on relationships: "The circle of intimacy, the circle of impact in the circle of influence"
- 33:13 - Most important priorities in 2nd through 5th grade: (1)"maintaining the emotional bond and setting the family culture" (2) "understand the psychological development of what's happening in that age"
- 40:50 - "I just have a path of intentionality that sets up the odds in your favor. And again, you can't control your son's heart, but you can fight for it. And this is a plan to fight for your son's future. And I believe that when we do that, we activate the heart of God's divine favor comes through our way, the Holy Spirit, gets involved and we're not on our own. And without it, I think you're left to chance and you're left to the world."
Episode Links:
- The Intentional Father book
- The Primal Path Course
- FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS
- Make a Donation to dadAWESOME
- Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team
Jon Tyson