The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast

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307. Childhood Trauma, Marriage, and Making Friends | Dr. John Delony

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Nov 21, 2022

Guest

John Delony

Dr. John Delony, a bestselling author and mental health expert, discusses the critical topics of childhood trauma and the power of community and connection. He emphasizes the impact of loneliness on mental health and the importance of vulnerable communication in relationships. Delony shares practical strategies for healing through personal narratives and confronting fears. He advocates for intentional acts of kindness and active listening to strengthen bonds, highlighting the necessity of asking for help in today's digital age.

01:43:27

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INSIGHT

Articulating Desires

Many people struggle to articulate what they truly want.
Addictions and hobbies can be substitutes for unfulfilled desires.

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ADVICE

Micro Questions

Ask yourself micro questions about what you want in different areas of life.
This clarifies desires and enables progress.

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ANECDOTE

Considering Feelings

John Delony felt sick after testifying in court, despite expecting to feel justice.
Consider how you'll feel after achieving a goal, not just the cognitive outcome.

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Healing Through Personal Narratives

02:06 • 6min

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Facing Discomfort: A Pathway to Healing

07:38 • 4min

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The Power of Connection: Navigating Loneliness

11:45 • 10min

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Reconnecting with Community: The Importance of Asking for Help

21:42 • 4min

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Building Bonds Through Kindness

26:04 • 13min

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The Art of Vulnerable Communication in Relationships

39:30 • 4min

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Navigating Intimacy and Expectations

43:57 • 8min

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Navigating Economic Challenges and Personal Aspirations

51:54 • 2min

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Navigating Desires and Personal Goals

54:24 • 13min

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The Power of Active Listening in Relationships

01:07:35 • 22min

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Embracing Humility for Growth

01:29:41 • 10min

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Navigating Post-Traumatic Growth and Incremental Improvement

01:39:43 • 3min

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#18

• Mentioned in 409 episodes

The Body Keeps the Score

Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

Bessel van der Kolk

In this book, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma reshapes both the body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. He explores various treatments, including neurofeedback, meditation, sports, drama, and yoga, which activate the brain’s natural neuroplasticity to aid in recovery. The book emphasizes the power of relationships in both causing and healing trauma and offers hope through descriptions of novel approaches to treatment. It is based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists in the field.

#1374

• Mentioned in 30 episodes

Own Your Past, Change Your Future

John Delony

Dr. Peterson's extensive catalog is available now on DailyWire+: https://utm.io/ueSXh

Dr. Jordan B. Peterson and Dr. John Delony discuss the destitution of loneliness, the salvation in connection, how to strengthen ties through listening, and why you should stop ignoring your flaws.

Dr. John Delony is a bestselling author, mental health expert, and host of The Dr. John Delony Show. This caller-driven show offers real people a chance to be heard as they struggle with relationship issues and mental health challenges. John gives practical advice on how to connect with people, how to take the next right step, and how to cut through the depression and anxiety that can feel so overwhelming. Delony has two PhDs and over two decades of experience in counseling, crisis response, and higher education. In 2020 Delony joined Ramsey Solutions, a powerhouse multi-media company that brings together top minds in topics such as finance, real estate, mental health, and overall well being. Through their platform they produce shows, lectures, events, documentaries, books, and more.

—Links—

For Dr. John Delony:

The Dr. John Delony Show:

https://link.chtbl.com/delony

Own Your Past, Change Your Future:

https://bit.ly/3V3egYS

Redefining Anxiety:

https://bit.ly/3ApOTZk

Instagram:

@johndelony on Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/johndelony/

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— Chapters —

(0:00) Coming Up

(1:19) Intro

(2:10) Story and the body

(6:47) Memory, a flawed canon

(10:04) Detailing anxiety

(11:59) Loneliness

(15:00) Sanity is distributed

(17:16) The need for friendship

(21:10) Ben Franklin, favors

(23:10) The Corner Store technique

(25:29) Teaching generosity

(28:35) Your life is what you repeat, focus on that

(30:41) Rebuilding a marriage

(37:09) Having a daily shared image

(45:05) Sex in marriage

(50:00) What do you actually want?

(55:08) Why you don’t know

(1:00:49) High ordered goals

(1:06:00) The greatest lost skill

(1:07:11) The difference between listening and looking to solve a problem

(1:16:10) Practical skills for listening

(1:20:33) Categorizing the problems in your world

(1:24:50) Seeking out your vulnerabilities

(1:27:48) the importance of confession

(1:31:40) Why labels are lackluster

(1:34:42) The small scale scales exponentially

(1:36:30) How we spread the movement

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